Chapter 1

 

The genuine feeling of love called philia is born in a warm context. 

I feel comfortable with the other person. I know them. I get along well with them and I start to have feelings. The sweet and honest kind of love.

 

Aeri's intention had never been to fall in love, not that she was against it, she just didn't think it was the right time. She preferred to fulfill herself in the workplace.

Have a job with a high and stable income. A home that could meet her needs. And even a car that could be defined as luxury.

These were her priorities.

 

Not love. It never was love.

 

Therefore, meeting Yizhuo, during the first day after her promotion to design assistant manager wasn't in her plans. She wasn't expecting it.

It wasn't love at first sight, but Aeri is certainly not blind and the newcomer's exquisite beauty certainly struck her.

 

Yizhuo arrived as an intern in the design department. Introduced by the department head of the latter, Bae Joohyun.

“So, Ning Yizhuo-ssi is added to the team now for a while. I hope you make her feel at home and help her if she needs it.”

“And if you ever want or need something, please don't hesitate to come and ask me, okay?”

“Thank you so much, Bae shiljang-nim. I hope not to bother you too much though, but I really appreciate you.” says the newcomer, smiling shyly. Under the scrutinizing eye of Aeri.

 

“It will be no problem Yizhuo-ssi, do not worry about it. Anyway we got to go back to work. Enjoy the day and good luck on your first day!” says Joohyun giving a pat on her shoulder and scurrying away after taking a peek at her wrist watch.

 

Before entering the elevator however, Joohyun stops her steps and turns, gaze and smile directed towards Aeri.

“I believe Uchinaga daeri-nim can help with your adjustment and maybe help you with the tasks you have to do, right Aeri-ssi?” and immediately after finishing speaking the elevator door closes, not even giving Aeri time to answer the apparently rhetorical question.

“Yeah..I can” sighing as she stands up.

“I don't really wanna bother you Aeri-ssi. You don't have to help me, you know” 

“It is no problem for me Yizhuo-ssi, I would've helped you even if the head of the department didn't ask me.” Aeri's voice takes on a warm tone and her smile helps Yizhuo calm her first-day anxiety.

“So, shall we do a little tour before we start with the commissions? What do you say?”

and thanks to this kindness Yizhuo can't help but smile “I say, I'm right behind you daeri-nim.”

 

After the tour of the department , Yizhuo and Aeri spend lunch together trying to get to know each other somehow. Their conversations flow like water in a river, as if they have known each other for years. 

This helps put each other at ease. Getting closer every minute they spend talking about their lives.

 

After lunch and until the end of working hours, their time is occupied by the process of some projects that Aeri is working on, taking advantage of the intern's presence to teach and get the job done faster, so as soon as 7 pm struck two of the three jobs assigned to the assistant manager were completed and only under review request from some superior.

Personally, Aeri is very proud of what they managed to do today and shows her gratitude by inviting Yizhuo out for something to eat and drink.

“I don't want to force you into anything but you were really helpful to me today Yizhuo-ssi. I want to invite you to dinner to show you my gratitude. Without you I would definitely still be at the first project.”

“I would appreciate it if you could come, but if you can't the offer will also be valid in the future.”

The ride down in the elevator in silence, not one of those uncomfortable silences. Aeri was still waiting for a response from the other girl.

 

 

After a silence that seemed to have lasted hours Yizhuo stops to look up into Aeri's eyes and smilingly nods "I would love it tonight.” And Aeri's day couldn't have ended in a better way.

 

 

 

 

 

After this first day, the two girls found themselves working alongside each other for a long time earning the title of ‘best working partners’ among their colleagues. 

The title really embarrassed Aeri which, despite hearing it almost every day for months, still managed to make her blush.

 

Yizhuo, on the other hand, seems to love it, smiling the brightest every time she hears it.

 

“Aeri eonni, why do you feel shy every time they use this title to call us?”

“The real question here Yizhuo is how you don't feel even a hint of embarrassment.”

“There is nothing that would make me embarrassed about this. In fact I like it because it reminds me that the two of us work together excellently. As if we were made for each other” these words stuns Aeri, who's at loss of what to say. Yizhuo looking straight at her isn't helping at all, and the assistant manager feels heat rising up her neck and is pretty sure she's blushing. 

Yizhuo seems to have noticed what she said "I meant work related. We are made to work with each other.” she adds. She also blushed and looked away from Aeri's eyes.

 

Stopping making eye contact with Aeri seems to get harder and harder with each passing day.

Yizhuo likes to think that her eyes are the same color as the midnight sky. So deep that you could fall into it, but so deep that Yizhuo would like to get lost in the middle.

 

Aeri found calm whenever she lost herself in the universe that is Yizhuo's eyes. So cold but so hot enough to melt her. So big and so bright that they gave light to the dark life Aeri lived. And that's how she slowly realized she was falling in love with Yizhuo.

A slow process, which started on the first day and was still going on after 10 months, slowly but profoundly and Aeri was aware of it, but in no way did she try to stop it.

 

And while Aeri entered this love pool step by step, testing the waters, Yizhuo had taken quite a dive, regardless of the temperature of the water.

 

The two seemed frightened by the magnitude of this feeling. Despite this, every day the love they felt grew and both were aware of their feelings but ignorance of what the other was feeling didn't help and no steps were taken. 

 

They were close enough to touch, yet so far away.

 

And days passed, turning into weeks and then months, but they still didn't address their feelings for each other.

 

 

 

 

One evening, after the end of her work shift, Aeri finds herself alone on her department's floor. She has to finish some projects that are due tomorrow and Yizhuo isn't with her because even though she asked her if she needed a hand, Aeri responded by saying that she could do it on her own and that she could go home.

 

And so Yizhuo went home or Aeri thought she did.

 

 

After turning off the computer, Aeri walks towards the elevator, passing through Yizhuo's station, she notices a figure sitting with arms folded on the desk and the head resting on them, sleeping.

 

The surprise of seeing her co-worker sleeping on her desk passes after a few seconds, after Aeri notices how Yizhuo's cheek resting on her arm seems soft and fluffy to the touch. She tries to stifle her laugh but chuckles nonetheless. That seems to wake Yizhuo up who with tired and sleepy eyes becomes aware of the other woman's presence, standing up suddenly and almost losing balance. 

 

“Careful there..” Aeri says after taking a few steps towards Yizhuo making sure the other doesn't lose her balance again.

“..why were you sleeping on the desk? I told you you could go home already” she adds, warmly smiling at her.

 

The smile that always makes Yizhuo’s interiors twist and churn (in a positive way).

 

“I was waiting for you eonni, didn't want you to be alone.”

“I probably could've helped you, but I kind of fell asleep here, I'm really sorry”.

With her eyes casted down Yizhuo fails to notice Aeri approaching her.

A pat on her head, followed by a soothing caress makes her look at the person in front of her.

Aeri is looking at her with the usual warm expression she has whenever she has her eyes on Yizhuo. Always that expression that makes you feel a thousand things.

 

“Thank you for waiting for me Yizhuo”

 

Yizhuo is speechless. Butterflies in her stomach? That's an understatement. She doesn't even feel a zoo in it.

If she had to describe how Aeri makes her feel she would simply say everything and nothing. The birth of a star or its explosion. The impact of a meteorite on the surface of a planet. The entire universe. 

This is what she feels.

 

Just looking at her, Aeri makes her feel full and at the same time empty.

 

She knows she loves her, this love grew like creepers on a wall, slowly but steadily. And Yizhuo can no longer do without it.

 

“Aeri eonni, would you like to go somewhere tonight?” she asks, gaining courage.

“It's almost 11pm Yizhuo, don't you wanna go to sleep? You seem pretty tired”

“Seeing you gives me enough energy to go out! Come on let's go, I'm craving tteokbeokki” the red head says smiling.

 

 

 

And the night goes so quickly Aeri doesn't even have the time to take a breathe.

 

To be honest with herself she just spent the whole time looking, staring at Yizhuo. Talking about her favorite things and laughing at her own jokes.

And despite the quickness of those two hours, Aeri found herself hoping that those would become eternal.

 

 

Stopping in front of Yizhuo complex, the two girls try to say goodnight but fail miserably.

They look at each other and neither one nor the other intends to look away.

 

They're lost in each other. That's the perfect description of their feelings.

Their love is like losing themselves in each other.

 

“So…” starts Aeri.

“Right, yeah I should go”

“Thanks for the ride Aeri”

 

 

And everything happens quickly.

 

Right after Yizhuo gets out of the car there is the sound of another door closing, hurried footsteps and Aeri is in front of her. Breathless. (not for the little jog she just took though)

 

Breathless because she has a lot of feelings churning in her belly. Breathless because Yizhuo is looking more beautiful than ever.

 

Breathless because Yizhuo is looking at her with stars in her eyes and Aeri can't help it anymore.

 

So she takes a step towards the other girl, closing the distance, without breaking eye contact, and takes another step and now their shoes are touching.

 

At the contact Yizhuo looks down at their feet but her head is lifted by Aeri, who holds her chin between her index finger and thumb.

 

“Yizhuo I-..I was trying not to let all this chaos in me overcome, but I swear to God you knock down every brick I put up and looking at you has never been so hard and I feel like I'm drowning but at the same time you're my oxygen.”

she takes a breath.

"and you give me life but not having you feels like death. And I want you with all my being, you don't know how much, but you seem like a flower so fragile that it breaks at the slightest touch. And it'd kill me to see you broken, but inside me I know, as arrogant and presumptuous as it seems, that I could protect you from everything.” 

 

With small breaths Aeri tries not to hyperventilate because she has just confessed her love and she is disconcerted and shocked by herself.

 

“and I never had so much will to live but with you..Gosh I'd love to live you and live for you Yizhuo.”

“Everything is too much, too big for me alone and I'm sorry if I am giving to you something so heavy but I needed to let it out. It was crushing me.”

 

And after that she takes a step back, and another one. And she's looking down, her hair covering her face. With her chest heaving up and down. And she feels dizzy but she doesn't dare to look up and see the disappointment or worse the disgust on Yizhuo's face.

 

Emotions that clearly aren't there and if Aeri looked at the girl she would only see amazement and emotion... and above all love.

 

So much love she would be scared.

 

Almost at the car, Aeri's footsteps stop when the other girl begins to speak.

“Are you running away eonni?”

“Why do you seem scared?” 

 

because you could be hating me now... Aeri thinks and takes another step back.

 

“You told all this to me just to run away? Are you that coward eonni??!!” her tone gets a little bit higher and she seems somehow angry.

 

“COME BACK HERE DAMN IT!!” Yizhuo shouts, with tears in her eyes, and it startles Aeri who finally looks up at her.

 

“I am welcoming all that you have given me eonni. Share your heart with me and I will give you mine, but don't run away. Don't ever run away from me.” she says pleading sweetly, almost whispering.

 

And Aeri feels warmth all over her body and she feels lighter.

 

 So she stalks towards Yizhuo and without waiting and wasting more time she pushes herself into the other and grips at her clothes trying to make her closer than the possible. 

 

And their lips meet in a powerful kiss but full of passion and a love never recognized but which now fills the space of two people who have always been attracted to each other like magnets.

 

 

the end<3 (for now)