Every day starts relatively calmer now. The former sounds of rushing in order to stake claim on the bathroom or yelling wake up calls are replaced by silence. Luhan may not admit, but he missed the chaos at times. He missed the inevitable mess they made, the rowdy laughter, the playful banters- yes, he truly did miss s. Maybe some more so than others.

As if on cue, the doorbell rung. Luhan shifts from his comfortable perch on the kitchen counter and pads towards the front door. He unlocks it and steps aside, letting his manager in with a smile and quick greeting. The man, only a few years older than Luhan himself, nods in acknowledgement and steps inside the familiar home. He sheds his coat, hanging it up as Luhan closes the door and moved back towards the kitchen, with the aim of finishing his breakfast.

"So, guess what came again today." The man, Zhang Duyi as he was called, had chosen to follow, carefully placing down the pale blue envelope beside the male perched on the counter.

Luhan's eyes flickered towards the familiar material, his throat suddenly going dry. It was there again, just like an other day. That same old pale blue envelope with the familiar messy handwriting. Just another letter left unopened.

"Thanks." Luhan manages to gulp, spoon clinking against the bowl in his hand. He had suddenly lost his appetite.

"You know, it's okay to contact him every once in a while." Despite his rough features, Duyi was gentle, speaking softly, as if Luhan was made of something fragile and that the mere raising of his voice would shatter him. "Don't wait for him to give up on you."

The silence that followed is defeaning.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

It takes Luhan sometime to answer, and even then, his voice wavers. He had wanted to speak to them again, to him, but he never found to courage to. Luhan viewed himself a traitor, turning his back on those who had considered him brothers when they needed him. He knows that's not what his former members thought, they assured him that they understood fully. Even he had reassured him. but the guilt was too strong. Luhan knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't bear to say his final goodbye. He left without telling him, even ignoring his calls and messages. Yes, he was that cruel.

"Stop the pretences." Duyi's voice is firm as he slips the envelope closer to the distracted man, "This isn't healthy. Not for you, and definitely not for Shixun."

The familiar name makes his chest ache, but he chooses to remain silent.