Final. 4986 Words

Moonbin and I had a toxic relationship. A relationship that wasn't healthy. But I pretended it was.

 

I loved him. I met him my freshman year of high school and I fell for him my junior year. That same year he fell for his best friend's younger sister. They dated for a year or so before we graduated and Sumi his girlfriend broke up with him.

 

That resulted in utter heart break. And for him to seek help. I was the person he turned to. He confided in me. And I thrived on this. He depended on me.

 

A month or so later I confessed to him and he accepted. I was never happier in my life.

 

But that didn't last.

 

Because it soon became obvious he wasn't over her.

 

Moonbin sat across from me and smiled sliding a dish of ice cream towards me. "I got you your favorite!" He cheers. 

 

I swallow as I look down at the dish of ice cream. I gulp at the choice. "Oh peanut butter!" I cheer, moving the spoon around to move the frozen desert.

 

"What's the matter?" He frowns.

 

"Nothing!" I say quickly with a smile. It's just I'm allergic to peanuts and that this wasn't the first time he forgot that my favorite was chocolate. Sumi's favorite was peanut butter.

 

He nods unconvinced. I swallow, would I be fine if I ate it? I glance down at the bowl debating on whether to tough it out or not?

 

I get a spoon full bringing it up into the air towards my lips.

 

"Hey what are you doing?" Someone knocks the spoon out of my hand. I glance at my younger brother Minhyuk who stood beside our table. Our friend Sanha was beside him sparing me a scared glance.

 

"Why'd you do that?" Moonbin asks glancing at the spilt ice cream that he bought for me.

 

"Why?" Minhyuk scoffs. "That's peanut butter ice cream and my sisters allergic to peanuts. She could've just died."

 

"Oh my god Minah!" Sanha snaps at me. "Why'd you buy ice cream that you're allergic too?"

 

"I forgot." I lie. Moonbin had went silent and I spare a glance at him, he was staring at his lap.

 

It was little things like this that slowly killed me inside. We had been dating for three months and this has happened three times already. It was clear to me that he wasn't over Sumi.

 

And that he wouldn't be for a while.

 

I should've let him chase after her that day. The day she left him. I held him back because he wasn't himself.

 

But even though despite all this I've stayed because I love him.

--

Within the next few days things progressively got worse. He left himself logged into Facebook on my laptop and when I went to log out I saw the profile he was on. Jung Sumi.

 

My heart twisted. I logged out and closed my laptop. 

 

After that every time I saw him my heart clenched. Every time he looked at me I felt even worse, he's looking at me but he's definitely thinking about her.

 

What was wrong with me? Was I not better than someone who left him? Why was he wasting his time on me?

 

If he was thinking of her so much why not go and find her?

 

"Minah, are you coming?" Eunwoo calls out as we got out of his car. We all were going to the mall today. 

 

"Mm." I answer. Eunwoo throws an arm over both mine and Moonbin's shoulders once we were out of the car.

 

We were only shopping momentarily before someone's rushing up to us.

 

"Moonbin?" A voice calls. "Is that really you?"

 

"Chanwoo?" Moonbin gasps. My eyes widen at the sight of our old friend Chanwoo. Chanwoo, Sumi's older brother.

 

"Oh my god you've grown so much!" Chanwoo says looking him over.

 

"You have too!" Moonbin smiles back, I could tell he was a little uncomfortable. I'm sure he wants to ask about Sumi.

 

I clear my throat. Moonbin glances at me. "I'm going to get a drink do you want something?" I ask.

 

He nods not even looking at me.

 

I quickly turn after waving at Chanwoo.

 

"My god Eunwoo you've become even more handsome!" Chanwoo says as I walk away.

 

I head to one of the vending machines and grab myself a drink and then Moonbin's favorite before heading back to where they were. I think it'd be great if he introduced me as his girlfriend to Chanwoo. I'm sure they were best friends still despite the break up. And he's never introduced me as his girlfriend to anyone. Everyone else has come to know by me.

 

I come up behind him and I'm about to grab his hand whenever I hear her voice.

 

"Oh hi guys!" Sumi's voice says as she approaches the group. I felt my knees weaken, she's back? She had moved towns after the break up. I glance around Moonbin to see her.

 

She looked older and prettier. I glance at Moonbin and his eyes were on her. Staring at her in a way I wish he'd stare at me. I come between him and Eunwoo. Eunwoo glances down at me seeming a little uncomfortable because of the situation. None of the boys liked her after what she did.

 

"Oh it's Minhyuk's sister." Sumi greets. "Is Minhyuk here as well?"

 

I shake my head no.

 

"I see that you're friends now." She gestured between Moonbin and I. We hadn't been extremely close before because of her.

 

I glance at Moonbin raising my finger to make a point. "Well yeah we're actually-."

 

"Really good friends now." Moonbin cuts me off. My heart stops. He wasn't going to introduce me as his girlfriend?

 

A pit forms in my stomach and I lower my finger and head. Eunwoo went oddly silent.

 

"Well it was nice to see you guys again!" Chanwoo exclaims. "But we have to go, see you again soon?"

 

"Definitely." Moonbin smiles waving goodbye to them.

 

Eunwoo then suggested that we leave. I wonder if he could sense my sadness?

 

That night I cried myself to sleep. It was hard enough when she wasn't in the picture. Now that's she's back what's stopping him from leaving and going to her?

 

Thursday came around and it was date night. Moonbin came over distracted and once I saw his state I wanted to question him.

 

"Hey Minah?" He questions shortly into the movie.

 

"Yes?" I ask him, I glance at him. He was on his phone completely ignoring the movie. His favorite movie.

 

"Do you care if I leave early?" He asks sheepishly. "Chanwoo wants to hang out at his place."

 

My heart sinks. Would Sumi be there? "Yeah sure, it's fine." I smile patting his knee.

 

"Really?" He smiles wide causing my heart to break. If only that smile was directed at me for something other than being around Sumi.

 

"Yes really." I force a chuckle out.

 

"Okay!" He stands up grabbing his coat from the chair. "Love you see you soon!" My heart not pounding at his words like they used to.

 

I admit the first time he said, "I love you." I thought he meant it. But now it's just words with no meaning behind them.

 

I curled up on my couch tears sliding out of my eyes. Was it time to end things?

 

But I really didn't want to.

 

The next night we went out grocery shopping for dinner. And lucky us we ran into Sumi who was also grocery shopping.

 

"Ah are you two hanging out?" Sumi questions us as she sees us in line. "Oh fixing dinner together tonight?"

 

"Who us?" Moonbin gasps looking between us two.

 

"Yes, you two." She laughs causing his eyes to light up.

 

I continue pulling things from the cart and putting them onto the conveyer belt.

 

"No we're not. Just here by coincidence." He laughs. "I'm here to buy peanut butter ice cream." He exclaims bringing a tub of that very ice cream into view to which she squeals. I pause what I was doing to stare back at him. Seriously?

 

"My favorite! You have to share!" She moves closer to examine the tub. Her shoulder was pressed against his and I couldn't help but stare. "Come to my house again tonight! We can continue watching your favorite movie even if Chanwoo isn't there."

 

My jaw clenches, so she was there last night. And they watched his favorite movie? We were watching his favorite movie at my house.

 

The cashier calls out to me and I turn my attention to him. "That'd be thirty-six dollars and twenty-two cents."

 

I glance back at Moonbin who was supposed to pay but he was too busy flirting. I run a hand through my hair, I didn't bring my wallet because he told me not to.

 

Moonbin moves to the next register and pays for the ice cream while Sumi steps outside.

 

"Moonbin?" I call out to him. Did he forget I was here?

 

He turns towards me confused a bit.

 

"Did you forget that you said you'd pay?" I ask him. The realization hits him.

 

"Oh I'm sorry!" He quickly pulls out his wallet and shoves some money into my hand. "Do you mind if I go to Chanwoo's again tonight?"

 

I lower my gaze. "That's fine go ahead."

 

He smiles and rushes out.

 

My heart cracking for the millionth time. I turn back to the cashier. I glance down at my hand at the ten dollar bill he left me. He's such an .

 

"On second thought I don't think I want anything." I tell the guy tears threatening to fall out of the corners of my eyes.

 

He seems pissed off but doesn't say anything. I step outside and sit down on the park bench. I'll have to wait for the bus now, since Moonbin's gone with his car.

 

The cool air causes my to shiver. A half hour passes and my stomach growls. Was the bus going to come or not?

 

I stood up and began to walk. Screw it I'll walk home. Maybe a walk could do me some good. I needed to clear my head.

 

The sun finished setting as I got closer home. My tear stained cheeks finally dry and a bit puffy. I ran out of tears to cry at the moment.

 

When I get in front of my house I'm met with Minhyuk.

 

"Where have you been?" He asks me rushing up to me. "Why didn't you answer your phone? Have you been crying?" His hands grip onto mine. "Oh my god you're freezing! Let's get you inside!"

 

He pulls me inside after demanding my keys. Once I'm inside the warm space and he's put a blanket around me he stares at me.

 

"Isn't Moonbin supposed to be here?" He asks.

 

I stay silent.

 

"Minah?" He questions.

 

"He went to Chanwoo's." I reply in a muttered voice.

 

"Chanwoo? You mean Jung Chanwoo?" He asks confused. "Chanwoo, Sumi's brother?"

 

I nod. Minhyuk huffs, "that idiot."

 

I lower my gaze. "Minhyuk is there something wrong with me?"

 

"What?" He gasps.

 

"Why doesn't he love me?" I ask with a blank face.

 

He grabs my face pulling it to look directly at him. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're my beautiful older sister. He's just blinded, blinded by that woman who doesn't care a bit about his love."

 

I was blinded too. Blinded by my love fo