//

“can you do it?” 

ultimately, sakura didn’t have to ask. wonyoung has done this more than enough times that she knows the process by heart, even capable of carrying it out smoothly without missing a beat. 

wonyoung knows that sakura would never doubt her skills, she probably asked out of reassurance. to wonyoung, it was more of an encouragement. 

rabid eyes, torn and decayed flesh, the rancid smell it emits, it was all too excruciating. it's floundering towards her ever so slowly, a low groan escaping its putrefied lips, its eyes frenzied as wonyoung occupies its line of sight.

breathe. 

“the most crucial part of the process is stunning them, by smashing their knees, that way, they’ll be immobilized completely.”

wonyoung hates the familiar voice constantly ringing inside her head. it haunts her at night, even during the day. it never leaves her alone, ever. she hates how her heart aches and aches in longing.

“the second and last crucial part of the process is to always, ALWAYS, aim for the head. ‘killing’ isn’t really the right term to describe it since they’re basically already dead, but it’s more like rendering them motionless once again. and this time, for good.”

but most of all, wonyoung hates herself for not being able to do anything. that night, at that moment, fear subdued her and her body refused to move as if paralyzed.

but eunbi was much more valiant than she ever was, always putting the lives of others first before herself. wonyoung had always hated her sister’s selflessness.

“sakura! take wonyoung and get out of here! chaeyeon and i will handle this.”

wonyoung doesn’t even realise it, but in no time, the zombie laid motionless on the ground with her buck knife punctured on its moldering head. stark red liquid oozed out like the flow of a river current, eventually pooling around its head. 

“stay safe, bunny. i’ll always love you.” 

wonyoung despises how she could distinctly remember eunbi’s lugubrious smile as she uttered those words. how her eyes seemed apologetic, as if telling her, “i’m sorry.” before she disappears in the daunting horde along with chaeyeon, a loyal ‘companion’ of hers.

a series of gunshots, and then nothing.

“you did great, though i’d appreciate it if you’d stop spacing out all of a sudden. you’re making yourself an open target.” 

sakura’s thumb that glides gently along her cheeks breaks her trance, and wonyoung is greeted with her comforting smile that always succeeds in washing away all her worries in the blink of an eye. 

she’s younger but she greatly towers over the blonde, so every time sakura draws near, she’d be looking down into those bewitching eyes. 

sakura huffs as she finally wipes wonyoung’s face free of blood, the younger’s gaze on her unwavering. 

“i think you’ll be better than me in no time. you learn fast, wonyoung-ah. eunbi taught you well.”

sakura curses under her breath when she realises what she had blurted out. she wanted to apologize for being clumsy but wonyoung shakes her head.

“don’t be sorry. i’m fine, unnie.” wonyoung releases a small smile as a sign of reassurance.

it would be useless to dwell in the past anyway. before, wonyoung was never able to suppress the tears that escaped her eyes like a broken dam, not being able to accept her sister’s death. most nights, if not— every single night, there seemed to be an endless batch of tears streaming down her cherubic cheeks. 

now, wonyoung believes she has run out of tears from crying too much. incapable of crying. after eunbi and chaeyeon’s inevitable deaths, more people entered her life, people that played significant roles in her life. people who she wished she could have met before the genesis of this chaos. 

sakura looks deep into wonyoung’s brown eyes which once twinkled like she contained stars in her eyes, but now that the stars are evanescent, her eyes dulled, indifferent.

at the very least, sakura hopes to rekindle the embers in wonyoung’s heart. 

“you’re strong, wonyoung-ah. eunbi would be very proud of you.”

///

“i miss yuri-unnie, i wish i could hear her voice one last time.” 

it’s freezing, the frigid air is pricking her skin like a thousand needles. the tremulous fire in front of them crackled, its flames dancing about in the moonlight, granting a small radius of light. 

the cold seeped into her toes, it’s making her numb. but wonyoung is convinced that the numbness of the cold will never compare to the numbness of her agony.

a squeeze on her left hand, the only other warmth she could count on. wonyoung’s gaze remains fixated on the sizzling fire, the luminescence pulling her in. the fallen tree trunk she’s leaning her back against is callous, she’s sure she’ll wake up with an aching back the next morning, but it’ll do. just for one night, it’ll suffice.

eunbi had always told her not to be fussy, to appreciate everything even if it was the bare minimum. 

“i miss yuuchan too...”

wonyoung’s heart clenched when there was a crack in sakura’s voice at the end. it wasn’t only wonyoung, sakura had lost a lot of people too. the world has lost its colour, and so did their souls.

for the only thing keeping them going was each other. 

wonyoung exhales a shaky breath, a small cloud of white smoke educed before dissipating into the crisp air. she leans her head on sakura’s shoulder, where she finds solace in. 

“yuuchan’s in a better place now, along with the others. they’re watching over us. they’d want us to keep living and moving on...”

wonyoung relishes in sakura’s gentle touches, how her fingers thread through her dusty, disheveled brown locks, how her thumb circled on the back of her hand to assure her that everything is alright, even when it’s not. 

“it’s unfair... why did they have to leave us?” wonyoung croaks, feels coarse and dry. 

it’s unfair, inexcusable and unjust. how the world seems to toy with them as if they’re mere puppets, casually snatching away the lives of their loved ones. 

if yuri — the recent and last person they had lost — was here, wonyoung would long seek refuge in her euphonious, husky voice. wonyoung doesn’t remember the name of the last song she sang, but she knew through her melancholic voice that yuri had conveyed a dismal message of an apology. yuri cried incessantly that night, repeatedly apologizing over and over again.

it wasn’t until sakura discovered that yuri was bitten on her forearm, yuri had locked the pain away and bottled it all up, kept away from the both of them. it was then wonyoung finally came to a realisation, it explained why yuri had gotten paler each day, how she was even more tired than usual to the point where sakura had to carry her on her back.

how did she not realise? why couldn’t they protect her? maybe yuri knew that they wouldn’t be able to do anything regardless that she kept it a secret. 

“w-why... why didn’t you tell us earlier?! yuri... why didn’t you tell me...”

“i was scared, sakura! i-i still am... i’m sorry. tell wonyoung that i’m- i’m sorry that i can’t uphold our promise...“

“no, you’re telling her that yourself. i-i can’t take this anymore, this conversation never happened.”

“sakura, listen to me!”

wonyoung remembers how she overheard their exasperated, hushed voices as they argued relentlessly behind the abandoned wooden shack, underneath the blanket of surreal stars hung above their heads.

she remembers how yuri enveloped her in a tight embrace, not wanting to let go. wonyoung’s eyes shifted to sakura who stood by the shack, a gun clutched in her hand. sakura averted her gaze, trying to keep her tears at bay, before disappearing into the shack. 

wonyoung swallowed the lump in , a lone tear trickling down her cheek. she doesn’t return yuri’s embrace, but instead, muttering out with her weak, hoarse voice, “you’re a liar, yuri-unnie.”

“i-i know, wonyoungie... and for that i’m really sorry. you know i’d stay longer if i could...”