Everything ing Hurts
Project: VolunteerSo did you manage to ask him what he meant by the story?
Hello?
šš
Hey monkey
Answer me
Hellooooooooooooo
Hyukjaeeee
Lee Hyukjaeeeeee
OHHHH
DONāT WORRY BOUT ME KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOING HONEYYY
ššš
Min
Not now, pls
Oops, did I interrupt something I shouldnāt have?
IāM SORRY
GET BACK TO ING YOUR PROF
I just reached my room
Talk to you later
Iām tired
šššš
Wait, arenāt you with him?
What room are you talking about?
ArenātĀ you spending the entire weekend with him?
What are you doing back in your room?
Unless you meant he gave you your own room already
Iām at the dorms, idiot
What are you doing at the dorms?
Hyukjae, are you okay?
Did you guys fight?
Iām sorry
Did he kick you out?
Want me to kick hisĀ Ā for you?
Itās fine, he didnāt kick me out. I left on my own
Do you wanna talk about it?
Not really
I just need to think things through
Iām fine, I promise
Are you sure?
Yes, Iām sure
Stop messaging me and get back to your Kyuhyun
Youāre gonna make him jealous
Mmh donāt care, youāre more important to me
š
Please just leave me alone for a bit
Iāll be alright tomorrow
You sure?
Have a good night with Kyu
I feel like you need a hug right now
Aughhh too bad Iām not at the dorms with you
Maybe I should get Kyu to drop me off
You donāt sound ok to me
Hyukjae
Hyukjae?
Hyukjaeeeeeeee
Ā
Ā
Hyukjae threw his phone onto his bedside table and flopped onto his bed. Since it was a Saturday night, his roommate wasnāt home and he had the whole room to himself. Just as well ā he didnāt want anyone else to witness him bawling his eyes out over his broken heart.
Donghae hadnāt dumped him. It was he who had dumped the professor, at this point, so why did his heart hurt so much that it felt like it was being ripped out of his chest?Ā
He couldnāt exactly identify his feelings. It was a mixture of heartbreak, betrayal, confusion, and maybe a little bit of hatredā¦ Okay maybe he didnāt hate the professor, but he definitely hated the way Donghae refused to even acknowledge that he liked him and still defended Prof Choi in the end.Ā
Just how hard was it to say āI like youā back? Hyukjae had poured everything out to him during . Everything. It wasnāt just a spur-of-the-moment thing, but now that he thought of it, maybe Donghae thought he wasnāt being serious when he said it. Though how an anatomy professor like Donghae could miss all the verbal cues and body language that he really, really liked the professor, he didnāt know. Donghae couldnāt be that dense. He had to have known that Hyukjae was being serious about everything he said. He was just choosing to ignore everything.
Ā
āOnce you learn about the ugly side of me, youāre going to regret ever meeting me in the first place.ā
āI wonāt change my mind that easily.ā
Ā
Hyukjae sighed deeply.
Bull. The moment Donghae finally revealed his relationship with Prof Choi, Hyukjae had practically chewed him out about it, giving him no chance to explain any further, and even left him in the end. He was the one who basically forced Donghae to tell him about Prof Choi, and then he was the one who lost his head over the revelation.
Honestly, there shouldnāt have been anything wrong with Donghae being āsponsoredā by someone else. Hyukjae was pretty sure that there were a handful of sugar babies at uni who proudly flaunted their riches to the rest of the student body, and he barely batted an eye at those girls. That was what he should have done with Donghae ā it was truly none of his business if the professor wanted to maintain his arrangement with whoever the he wanted. He said it himself ā he wasnāt being serious with Hyukjae. Hyukjae should have known better.
But the other part of him wanted to believe that Donghae truly wanted to be with him. And it wasnāt only because of . Because, if it was like he said that Donghae only slept with Siwon for the money, then why did the professor still want to sleep with Hyukjae even though he knew that he wasnāt going to get anything from the student?
Was Hyukjae really a casual fling like he said? Or was Donghae genuinely trying to build something between them but was just too scared to admit that he liked him because he was afraid of what Hyukjae would say about his relationship with Prof Choi?
ā¦ Sort of like testing the waters, but giving himself an option to back out just in case Hyukjae reacted like he did.
Hyukjae sighed and threw an arm over his eyes. Everything was just so ed up.
Donghae had told him to wait. Donghae had told him that he wasnāt ready for a relationship. Donghae had warned him that there was an ugly side to him that Hyukjae wouldnāt like. Donghae had tried avoiding the topic so that Hyukjae wouldnāt get hurt. And he, like the stupid idiot he was, decided to rip off the band-aid before it was fully healed and hurt both Donghae and himself in the process.
He felt like such a hypocrite. After telling the professor that he would accept him as he was and wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, heād gone and run away at the first sight of conflict.
Donghae must be feeling so hurt now. He remembered the desperate look on the professorās face as he shut the door. That wasnāt the look of a āsugar babyā happy to go back to his āsugar daddyā for more and more money. It had been the look of a lost puppy pleading with its owner not to abandon himā¦ but he still went ahead and did it anyway.
But he hurt me too! Hyukjae thought angrily, He still called me a mere distraction and told me that he never planned to go any further with our relationship. Iād be the one getting hurt in the end if we continued like that. Iā¦ I made the right choice by getting away. We need to stop before things get more complicatedā¦Ā I need to forget about him.
, I canāt get his face out of my headā¦ If he was going to just toy around with me and just make me a buddy then why did he have those stupid sad puppy eyes when I was leaving him? Itās not like heād ever say he liked meā¦Ā
Hyukjae suddenly sat up in his bed. āW-Waitā¦ he actually didā¦ā
Ā
āHyukjae, Iā¦ I do like you, still.ā
Ā
Still?Ā
The one and only time Donghae ever told him he liked him, he indicated that he had liked him all along?
The .
āAughh, why didnāt he say that earlier when I asked him? And what kind of ing bull was he spewing before that, calling me a distraction and hurting me like that? What was he thinking? What was I thinking? Jerk! Idiot! Dickhead! Stupid bastard! ingā¦ Son of a !ā
Hyukjae screamed. He threw and kicked all his toys, pillows, and covers onto the ground in a fit of rage and fell back onto the bare mattress, fully wracked in sobs. āI-I hate you, Professor Leeā¦ I ing hate you so muchā¦ā
Ā
Ā
~
Ā
Ā
Sunlight streamed through the cracks in the blackout curtains and landed precisely on Donghaeās eyes. The rays pierced uncomfortably through his swollen eyelids, making Donghae pull the covers over his head with a soft whimper. It felt like heād just barely fallen asleep not even half an hour ago. Surely it couldnāt be morning already?
Everything hurts. Everything ing hurts.
It quickly got suffocating under the blanket. He kicked it off five minutes later with a painful hiss.
Hyukjae had been particularly rough with him last night. It wasnāt that he hadnāt had rough before, but this time, it hurt a lot more than usual. Not just his aching body, but also his heart.
How he wished everything from last night was just a terrible nightmare and heād wake up to find Hyukjae snuggled comfortably against his back, breathing softly into his neck while smelling like citrus and heaven.
Donghae sighed and sat up carefully. After a few tries, he finally managed to get up on his feet and gingerly made his way to the bathroom to wash up. It was already half past noon. It wouldnāt do for him to stay in bed any longer because he knew that he would continue moping around until the next day. If he could just get some work done, at least he wouldnāt feel bad for wasting a good chunk of the day away. Besides, if he kept himself busy, he wouldnāt be able to think about Hyukjae and relive last night over and over again.
Heād cried his tears dry all night long, and he had the swollen eyes to show for it. It was no use crying over spilt milk anymore. Hyukjae was completely done with him. And it was all his fault.
He looked down when he realised heād just kicked something. Dozens of condoms, lube, toys, and their boxes were scattered all over the ground. Right. Heād swept everything down to the floor after Hyukjae left and forgot abou
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