Autumn inevitably turned into winter. The leaves soon disappeared and the world began to welcome a few spots of snow. And in this white state, when nothing seems to survive, Yoohyeon felt anything but cold. The warmth Minji generously brought to her life was making the harsh season a very pleasant one. A healing one, even. 

Since the last impromptu date set up by Minji set up, inviting Yoohyeon over became some semblance of a pattern. In fact, they would invite each other to their respective homes when they had enough time on a weekday. Weekends were a time reserved for either one of them to come up with cute dates. Usually museums, coffee dates, movies (but only if it was a calm and pretty film). Yoohyeon made the mistake to invite Minji to go watch the latest thriller everyone was talking about, but judging on the grimace alone she got in response, Yoohyeon perfectly understood it wasn’t her thing.

What truly struck Yoohyeon this year’s winter was the contrast between the below-zero-temperature and the sweet warmth of everything really. It happened once, the moment she stepped into the coffee house and spotted Minji smiling at her brightly. It happened when Minji hugged her when she saw her coming to the front of the movie theater. It also happened everytime she would visit the flower shop. It even happened one time when she was outside, walking next to Minji in a botanic garden. 

This seesaw motion had every reason to make her dizzy, to blur her sensations a little. Yet, as extraordinary as this was, Yoohyeon felt balanced, grounded by it. It made sense and every time she would start to shiver in a chill night, a simple gesture could change everything. 

It was very noticeable how people in this December would still find a way to bring nature into their homes. With that same will to bring comfort into the cold and dark season. Evidently Minji was one of them. As a matter of fact, it played a part in why she always loved that moment of the year. 

She always marvels that people used the most beautiful and strong trees of winter and took them into their homes only to get a feeling of green and grass when it seemed lost under the snow. It would remind Minji how special and necessary nature was in everyone’s life. Even in this city and developing world that seemed to neglect the earthy nature of well… Earth. At the end of the day, mankind deeply needed to come back to the roots. 

Minji loved evergreens. Because just like their name, they never change colors. They’re stable and always smell like pine and citrus. It’s always so comforting when she steps into her flower shop in winter, or any house for that matter, and gets welcomed with that smell. It’s not like Minji doesn’t like the uncertainty of nature or its neediness, it’s only that she’s aware of it all, hence she more than enjoys it when a tree or a plant is robust and can go through a lot of hardships and winters. Once again it is a reminder that nature rocks. 

Early in her years of flower shop experience, she knew there was a market about christmas trees and people would actually come to her asking if she was selling some. Obviously her shop wasn’t big enough to offer a tree per home in the neighborhood, it still wasn’t to this day. At first she was a bit skeptical about the over consumerism regarding the evergreen need in the holiday seasons. Therefore, she found a solution to that. Every year she would sell around 15 small evergreens with their roots. She knew some people didn’t have enough room in their apartment to turn it into a Walmart Christmas romcom, she liked the idea of bringing smaller things to humbler homes. 

Why the root part? As obvious as it is but quite contradictory with the fact that she sold it to tiny apartment owners, she knew for a fact that those people always knew a person with a garden that would plant the tree again after Christmas. Another plant granted on Earth at the time. Which was fundamentally a paradoxical thing to say, because Earth should be the one granting humans with plants. Yet, doing it as a compensation meant a lot to Minji. Just the thought of a tree finding back its place in the ground brought a smile to her lips.

Christmas time has always been a special time for Minji. The shop would be packed with generous and bright people. It was another time of the year when giving gifts and attention meant a lot. It was also a time when humility and tiny little thoughts were considerably grand. It was about love. Once again. If not, as always. 

Love expressed through whatever little pearl of beauty found in this world. People, of course, would obviously think about plants and flowers as specks of brightness to bring to people they care about. Minji would happily be the provider. It was her job and she was more than proud of it. Proudness doesn’t even come close to what she was really feeling. It went further and beyond. 

For a few days snow had started falling on Seoul. A thin blanket cracked under the foot of working people in a hurry. A few very serious ones even dared to shield the small flakes from their faces with umbrellas. Minji doing what she is the best at, could still see the lovely in that time. She loved to watch young scholars running and screaming in joy under the cold sprinkle of frozen water. It was such a simple thing yet one to brighten everyone’s mood. At least hers.

The few remaining trees Minji was selling were outside, under the awning, against the wall. The door from the store was of course closed and a little bit of fog spreaded through the windows. There wasn’t much she could do about it. The heat was on - not too high - for the flowers to adapt to their future homes. The shop was mainly painted in red and white. Two colors admittedly associated with the holidays. 

Until now, no flowers could grow out of the ground wearing shiny sparkling gold. As artificial flowers sometimes were sold in clear disgrace. Even if scientists could find a way to modify the dna of a flower for that purpose only, Minji wasn’t sure if she would be interested in it. Christmas already had its fair share of flowers, it may not need another one at the moment. 

One time Yoohyeon commented on how much the colors of the shop would change depending on the season. It was more than striking in winter. Poinsettias were scattered around, everywhere for everyone to buy one for their dinner table. The bright red petal would always bring so much intensity in a closed place. And… since Minji was allowed to go full nerd on this, she even explained that its shade of red was actually the complementary color of the dark green of the Christmas tree. Hence the fact that they go so well together. 

Minji would sell a lot of poinsettia and it was a beautiful sight to see clients leave with bunches of red bright flowers in her hands - of course it was meant to be coated with a few snowflakes once outside. It was pure poetry in the eyes of Minji and now that she could explain it to Yoohyeon, the latter could see that too. They could share their love for little sight of poetry. 

As the holidays were approaching in a hurry, more clients were coming to the shop. One time Yoohyeon visited after work and was surprised to witness the first time Minji was actually overwhelmed by the business of the shop. With barely a quick kiss on the cheek in the arriere boutique, Yoohyeon then said, 

“Let me help you?” It was meant to be a question, an offer, but really Minji was so tired that she couldn’t say no. She sighed in relief and nodded. 

“Thank you.”

Yoohyeon knotted an extra apron she found in the back of the shop and with a smile, she walked to some clients. “Hello, I’m Yoohyeon, how may I help you?” Without any surprise, most of them would ask for poinsettia and Yoohyeon spent enough time in the shop by now to know how it all ran. They knew what they wanted and Minji once explained to her how the checkout worked. Yoohyeon had it all covered. At some point she rolled her sleeves and kept on dancing around the shop with enthusiasm. She was a natural.  

With two people serving, the seemingly endless line of clients were quick to disperse and Minji could breathe again. While with a client, she smiled fondly at Yoohyeon and mouthed a grateful “Thank you.” 

Yoohyeon finished with her clients and was about to take back some empty buckets meant for the poinsettia - sold by now - when she heard Minji’s nice voice in a deeper conversation than the usual selling courtesy formulas. 

“Believe it or not, this year has been a poinsettia year. Not many people asked for hellebores.”

An old lady chuckled. “I can see that poinsettia    was indeed the flower to bet on.” She referred to the almost empty boutique. The shop was about to close, in only half an hour and with only a swipe of the eyes, it was quite noticeable how they were about to be sold out of red flowers.

“I guess people prefer colorful plants during that time? Maybe people aren’t attracted to white flowers when it’s snowing outside?” Minji wondered out loud. 

“What a shame.” The lady said. Minji left for a second and came back with a beautiful and elegant humble hellebore. Not too big, not too bragging or daring. It was just a nice touch of simplicity yet as Yoohyeon didn’t see a lot of them before, it added a lot of interest. 

“Especially considering the story behind this flower is better than the poinsettia. I mean, I prefer the hellebores’ better.” Minji said just like she dropped the funniest joke. 

“I knew that poinsettia were supposed to remind the star that guided to baby Jesus but I’m not familiar with the hellebore story, I’m afraid.” The old lady answered. 

“It’s the same context really, but the hellebore supposedly grew out of a woman's tear that fell in the snow when she realized she had nothing to offer the newborn child.”

The old woman smiled and Minji knew she understood her. “I know it doesn’t make any sense and Jesus wasn’t even born during winter, so why was there snow?” Minji chuckled. “But I like the fact that it has something to do with simple gifts and how flowers can be such a nice way to tell someone you care.”

From her side of the store, Yoohyeon kept looking at Minji with soft eyes. It was endearing to have the privilege to see Minji express herself in her work and explain those little details concerning her passion. It was so in phase with who Minji was. Yet at the same time, Yoohyeon was aware that those details weren’t part of her job, it wasn’t needed per say. Nevertheless, it was exactly what made her great at it. What she could bring to the clients, those bits of knowledge she brought to strangers made so much sense.

To add more, Yoohyeon was very sensitive to that kind of generous act. Minji never thought much about changing one’s same old routine, yet she kept doing so. She kept bringing joy and beauty. That was only the visual and material aspect of it, though. Because Yoohyeon could also feel that people would leave the shop full of wisdom and words ready to be turned into a new philosophy. 

That’s what language does, doesn’t it? It was a seed into a sea of waves. It was a tiny idea ready to be cultivated : just like a flower. Minji would only bring meaning to new words of vocabulary. She would often also add new material to someone’s lost mind or doubts. Yoohyeon was in love with that very specific trait of Minji. 

That’s the reason why Yoohyeon couldn't tear her eyes off Minji at that moment. It’s not that she was under a spell, or anything close to those forceful metaphors. It’s just that Yoohyeon was in love. In love with Minji. Yes, Yoohyeon was in love with Minji. 

A light chuckle escaped her lips and Yoohyeon found it absurd to even think about fighting the surge of happiness coming pumping into her veins. She tried to keep as quiet as she could - and it wasn’t hard - because love is, after all, quiet. It’s patient and it’s kind. With Minji, it isn’t a fight or a reason to prove something. It’s not a question of worth or proving the value of her own life. It’s not about pride and ego. It’s as simple as loving the way Minji talks to strangers. It’s as easy as looking at her watering her plants. It’s so much meaning put into a silent and comforting hug. It’s kind and it’s quiet. It’s not loud and frustrating. It’s generous and… loving. 

How Minji opened her eyes about other ways to say I love you, how Minji explained so many nuanced emotions and meanings, it was beyond beauty. And now Yoohyeon, with only Minji’s words about a white flower, Yoohyeon realized how much in love she was with the girl. 

“That’s a beautiful story.” The old lady talked. “I only know Hellebores under the name of Christmas roses, to be honest.” She chuckled.

“That’s true! They are called that even if they have nothing of a rose. It’s not from the same family.” Minji explained as she was wrapping the flowers up. Then with a smile she handed it to the lady. “Here for you!”

Yoohyeon smiled again and stepped back to finish what she was going to do. Right, she wanted to start cleaning the shop as it was going to close soon. The act was a welcome distraction from the growing smile on her face from the realization that took its time to sink in. She always knew she was feeling more than attraction towards Minji. They were going on dates for a month and she had taken her time to know the flower girl for at least six months.

So yes. Yoohyeon only now understood how much love meant in that context. Yoohyeon was serious about her feelings. It made a lot more sense only now but it didn’t come out of nowhere. It had been at a slow pace that Yoohyeon discovered every single angle of Minji. How careful she was with others, how kind she acted, how caring she was with Yoohyeon, how full of life she appeared. It had been a very steady thing to happen. 

The only thing she didn’t see coming was the low state of stress rising inside of herself. Sure, she came to realize her feelings. What would happen now? That question alone wasn't a matter of stress. She was well aware that she was going to say it. To “confess”, as one would put it in Walmart’s movies. Yoohyeon had no reason to hide it. It was something to tell. 

Of course, Minji had said nothing until then. But not even a second Yoohyeon had thought it could have something to do with unreciprocated feelings. Minji was the kind of person to express her feelings in other ways. Hence the profession she chose. Yoohyeon wasn’t worried about that. 

What was worrying her, at an exponential rising rate, was the fact that maybe just maybe she wouldn’t know how to use the right language to talk to Minji. The flower shop owner was obviously someone so responsive to a certain kind of language. She, herself, was teaching it. To Yoohyeon, included. What if Yoohyeon couldn’t use the same language? What if she didn’t know enough to speak to her? What if Minji didn’t understand what she wanted to say? What if her confession lacked meaning and nuance? What if Yoohyeon couldn’t use Minji’s language to communicate? Wouldn’t that be a bad omen? For a not even started relationship, it couldn't be of any good. 

Naturally Yoohyeon thought about every way she could make the confession the perfect one. The one that would speak volumes to Minji. One with lots and lots of flowers. Of course Minji would love that. But… What kind of flowers? What was Minji’s favorite kind? Well … She didn’t even know that about the women she loved. What kind of lover that made her? She wasn’t sure. 

Roses were out of the question. It would only bring back the first time they met and it would scream that Yoohyeon had forgotten about that time. Not that roses were bad per say but Minji was so informed that Yoohyeon couldn’t offer that plain and simple flower. She deserved more. 

Then what? What kind of language could possibly match the kind of feelings she had. How to talk to be listened to, really was Yoohyeon’s main concern here. Truly, she didn't question Minji’s capacity to listen to her, because if anything she only proved to her that she was a careful and great listener. But… The doubt was here. Slowly spreading wider in her mind.

What kind of flowers? Should she even use flowers to confess her feelings? Wasn’t that too much on the nose? Didn’t Minji deserve Yoohyeon to move mountains and calm oceans? At least that’s what Yoohyeon wished she could do for such an amazing girl. 

With a crowded mind, she did what she wanted to do in the shop. She cleaned the space and let Minji handle the last late clients. Yoohyeon was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear Minji announcing that she was closing the shop. Yoohyeon was simply on auto focus, which was funny when given that it wasn’t her job at all. Yet, the comfort she felt in that place, the familiarity of the motions, it didn’t feel foreign to Yoohyeon even if it was the first time she truly did a job there. 

That’s only when she flinched because of the soft touch of a tender hand resting on her shoulder, that Yoohyeon came back to her reality. A reality in which she was in love yet lacking words and intention to express it. It was frustrating. If not angering her. 

Flowers were the exact reason why Yoohyeon met Minji. If she could find the perfect flower, the perfect meaning to her feelings, it would embellish the whole situation. It would make it not only memorable but also theirs. Using flowers was their language. So why couldn’t she do Minji’s justice? Why couldn’t she find that missing piece? 

With a sigh she tried her best to disguise her lips in a smile and looked at Minji, waiting for her.

“Are you okay?” Minji asked softly. “You seem a bit out of it?” She carefully said while still pressing on her shoulder. 

Yoohyeon nodded, not to raise any concern. “I’m okay, don't worry. I was just thinking.”

Minji’s eye smile returned and with a tight hug, Yoohyeon was rewarded for her hard work. “Thank you for helping me tonight. Without you I would have certainly worked overtime.”

“I’m glad I decided to drop by, then.” Yoohyeon let her arms circle around Minji’s frame and sighed in the embrace. 

“Would you like to be paid with a nice drink at my place?” Minji slowly broke the hug and looked into Yoohyeon’s eyes. Even with the hardest time of her life, even with a mind overflowing with doubts and fears, Yoohyeon could never say no to that kind of offer. “I’m afraid I can’t write you a paycheck as you’re not my employee.” Minji joked.

Set aside the obvious of the situation, it was those kinds of mini dates that warmed Yoohyeon’s heart but also made them grow closer, it had something more to it. Truly, Yoohyeon never talked to any of her friends about that silly but stubborn thought. She kept thinking it was a very selfish thing to admit but sometimes Yoohyeon - often at the end of a hard working day - she would allow herself to see Minji. It’s weird to think about it this way, she was aware.

Not to make the obvious and cliché comparison that didn’t make a lot of sense to Yoohyeon anyway, but Minji had the power to make her days better. Sometimes she would reward herself with a nice cup of tea and a good series, but lately Yoohyeon would only need Minji. It wasn’t as wicked as she would think it is. 

What made it hard to accept is that Yoohyeon didn’t know if Minji thought the same. If she let her loud and hurtful voice speak in her mind, Yoohyeon would bet that Minji didn’t feel the same only because Yoohyeon had days when she was down while Minji always seemed so tender and focused. She always had that wise and comprehensive aura. It’s not that Yoohyeon was jealous, it’s only that she wished she could have something similar to offer. 

“Yooh?” Minji called her again. 

“Of course! Of course, I would love that.” She hurried to say. 

“That’s great then. The shop is clean and ready to be closed for the day. We can go then?” Minji offered her arm and with that they both left the place and walked on the soft blanket of snow on the sidewalks. 

“How was your day?” Minji asked as she cuddled close to Yoohyeon. 

“Mh?” Yoohyeon was still lost in her thoughts. The close contact made her snap out of it but she realized it was starting to be hard to explain that she really was okay. 

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Minji turned her head towards the taller girl. With a careful but still very soft expression, Minji was closely watching for any sign of concern displaying on Yoohyeon’s face. She put the back of her hand on Yoohyeon’s forehead and waited for a few seconds. “You’re not that warm.”

“I’m fine.” Yoohyeon took Minji’s wrist into her hand and lowered it down. “I’m sorry if I’m a bit tired tonight but I’m fine.” 

The flower girl didn’t seem convinced but she nodded anyway as she didn’t want to press too much on that issue and make it worse than it was. So they spent the rest of the walk clinging to each other yet in a comfortable but pensive silence. 

Once inside Minji’s apartment, Yoohyeon tasted that relief of warmth washing away parts of her worries. Yes, only parts. It was a first really. Because that whole place was breathing Minji’s cocoon of care. It smelled like her, it looked like her, it was full of green plants and colorful flowers in that very calm and relaxing apartment made of white walls.

But today, as nice as it was to be surrounded by Minji, it only triggered more worries about her love.

They went to the kitchen together to prepare two hot cocoas then sat down on the couch. It could have been the perfect evening if only Yoohyeon’s mind wasn’t so easy to shatter. 

Minji did her best to ask a few simple questions here and there and shift focus on easy conversations. Ones that didn’t require Yoohyeon’s full attention as she already came to accept that she wouldn’t have it for the night. 

Minji only asked if Yoohyeon was staying in Seoul for the holidays, truthfully it was mainly to know if Minji would be granted the presence of the taller girl for the next few days or if she would have to wait. Of course, she had the girl’s number and they could call and text each other whenever they wanted but knowing that at any time the other girl could pop her head through the shop’s door, it made it all so much joyful. 

It was a simple question, not meant to cause any trouble. Yet the frown visible on Yoohyeon’s forehead began to worry Minji much more than she anticipated. 

“Yoohyeon?” She called barely above a whisper, as she carefully took the cup of hot cocoa out of her hands to put it on the table next to hers. 

“Mh?” At least Yoohyeon acknowledged her presence. 

“I don’t mean to push you but you really have been a bit distant tonight. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it but just… let me know what I should do?”

Yoohyeon smiled sadly and sighed. “How can you always say the right things all the time?” It didn’t sound like a reproach but it tasted bitter. 

“But I don’t. I don’t always use the right words and sometimes I know I don’t say enough. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me. Yet at the same time, I can leave some space if things are troubling you.”

Leaving some space? That didn’t sound right. Yoohyeon’s bubble just burst open. Maybe just maybe she did put Minji on a pedestal for the last couple of hours. 

“I don’t need space.” She affirmed and she took Minji’s hands into hers. Then when she saw a wave of reassurance washing through Minji’s face, she realized that of course she was affected by all of that too. “I apologize for worrying you. It's just a silly thing going on in my head.”

“What silly thing? Can I know?”

Yoohyeon winced and little but nodded anyway. Minji deserved to know. Maybe she did deserve mountains and oceans but before all of that, she did deserve honesty. 

“Mh… Okay, where do I begin?” Yoohyeon chuckled a bit embarrassed. 

“Wherever you want. We’re not even in a hurry either.”

“Okay okay so… we’ve been dating for a few weeks.”

To that, Minji didn’t move nor say anything. She was frozen in place when the topic of the matter began to sink in. She gulped and nodded. Any trace of smile leaving her face. 

“I… like I said, it’s silly. But my feelings for you grew and for the whole evening I’ve been spiraling about what kind of flowers I should offer you to confess. I know it’s stupid because it’s not what matters most here but I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to show you that I could use your language, the language of flowers, to express myself. Because you showed me how much they can say. How much they mean to you. I wanted to find the perfect and the most beautiful flower with the most spot on meaning for you. I also… I mean you keep touching me with your knowledge about plants and I thought flowers were our language but obviously I don’t know as much as you do. I would have chosen the wrong kind and I would have deceived you. I would have chosen a bunch of roses and I feel stupid because you deserve more than that. And-”

Yoohyeon stopped talking when she felt a few fingertips on her lips. She focused back on Minji who was now smiling brightly. 

“Sorry. I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you need to take a breath.” Minji said, lowering her hand. Yoohyeon nodded dumbly. “I want to say something too. But I’ll let you finish first if you need to.”

“No no, go ahead.” Yoohyeon simply said. 

“Okay.” Minji took back Yoohyeon’s hands into hers and started caressing the back of them. “All I’m hearing is that you don’t feel legitimate to offer me flowers because you feel like I know more about them.” Yoohyeon nodded again. “Of course I do, it’s my job. But.” She insisted on the but. “It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them. You could offer me any kind of plants or flowers and you know I would love it.” 

“You’re right.” Yoohyeon admitted in a murmur. 

“About your confession…” Minji moved around a bit on the couch until she scooped closer to Yoohyeon. “I do too. I do have feelings for you and I’m glad to know we’re on the same page here.”

Yoohyeon sighed in relief. 

“What I want to add though, is that the world is full of different and diverse languages. There isn’t just that one passing through flowers and nature. There’s more. And…” Her voice grew softer and lower. “I may have a few in mind, I want to practice with you.”

“Really?” Yoohyeon’s voice followed course and her eyes dropped on Minji’s face coming closer to her. 

“Really.” Minji whispered as she was closing the distance between their faces. “And I also think you will be incredibly talented at it.” 

Yoohyeon gulped.

“Can I kiss you?” Minji whispered just before her lips. 

“Of course.” And Yoohyeon crashed their mouths together. It was of course the result of months of growing tension and feelings but it was also the epitome of who they were. Yoohyeon needed to feel more and Minji gave it to her. With both passion and tenderness. With that duality about their love. With respect and need. It felt perfect. 

They moved in sync and Minji’s hands started to move around Yoohyeon’s body. Something the girl wasn’t yet prepared for. A soft moan escaped and with that Minji smirked in the kiss. Yoohyeon was in love. And Minji might be as well.