(Spoilers: do not read before finishing the first fic)

CHOONHAE

With my head pressed to the cold mirror of the elevator wall, I felt the floor vibrating as we ascended toward our fancy dorm room. I called it fancy because the thing we used to sleep in at the Star Academy wasn't even remotely close to what we now resided in. Debuting comes with a lot of perks. And a lot of downfalls, such as my current state.

"Almost there," Ara said with an as exhausted voice as I had. She too, was feeling the day. Zhang Hao and Tae Rae were quiet. I guess they just wanted to come home and relax as well.

The elevator pinged, and I turned around with a groan, missing the cold feeling of the mirror. It was damn hot out in Seoul this time of year, and it wouldn't change soon. Summers were a hot mess over here. Fortunately, we had air conditioning.

"Come on, little sister. Let's get some food in you!" Hao drawled as he dragged me out of the elevator and into our small lobby. It had white tiled floors, and Gyuvin had put a 'home sweet home' doormat with two frogs smiling up at the ceiling on the floor in front of the door.

Hao had started calling me little sister after visiting my home a few weeks ago. He and my twin brother were close, and as we had left Chanbin that night, my twin had called after him to take care of me. Hao had taken that literally.

Tae Rae opened the door and froze in his tracks. I was too tired to care what he was upset about. I just wanted some ramen and to go to bed. It became apparent real quick as I heard music blaring and loud, excited voices talking. Ugh. The others had a better shift today, as the four of us had studio time booked for our debut song, after a grueling morning training sessions. Except for our leaders Hanbin and Allison, the others had been dismissed for the afternoon.

It showed in the amount of energy they had.

"Guys!" Ara snapped, and all heads in the living room turned to us. I spotted Gunwook, Gio, and Matthew playing video games while seated on the floor. Nina, Briar and Billie were loudly chatting at the kitchen table, with Gyuvin and Yujin munching down a big bowl of something that smelled delicious. Jiwoong was nowhere to be seen. He was probably locked up in his room watching K-dramas. Bongcha and Jisoo were watching the tv, and how the others were finishing their game. "Is there some food left for us, or is that everything?" Ara wasn't happy as she pointed at the table.

Yujin stopped slurping his ramen and his eyes turned to me. "S-sworry," he mumbled. "Th-hat was e-verything."

Great.

Living with seventeen other people did have a lot of disadvantages. For one, nobody could cook. I, as the youngest I might add, was the only one able to decently cook. So whenever I was out, they would get take-out.

I cracked my neck, and without any words, I walked towards the kitchen and started flinging some pots around. I was making Ramyeon.

Several pleading eyes started turning to me.

"No! Nobody is getting anything besides Ara, Hao, and Taerae!"

"Come on now, Choonha!" Briar pleaded. "You know how much we love your cooking... please!"

With exhaustion weighing heavily on my shoulders, I mustered a faint smile at Briar's pleading request. The truth was, cooking had always been my way of finding solace, a means to escape from the chaos surrounding me. But tonight, I couldn't summon the energy to go beyond fulfilling the basic needs of my closest friends. They wouldn't understand the burden that had settled upon my heart.

As I stirred the boiling noodles, my mind drifted to the events of the day. My movements in the kitchen became mechanical, a stark contrast to the vibrant energy that filled the living room. Our debut was fast approaching, and the pressure was starting to get to me. I had always dreamed of becoming a K-pop idol, but now that it was actually happening, the reality was hitting me hard. The constant scrutiny, the expectations of our fans, and the pressure to perform perfectly were taking a toll on me. And to top it all off, the constant chaos in our dorm was not helping my mental state.

As the aroma of the simmering ramyeon filled the room, my mind drifted back to the moment on the stage when my dream had shattered. Lux's absence hung over me like a dark cloud, a constant reminder of the sacrifices we had made and the consequences we had to face.

I had always been the quiet one in the group, preferring to keep to myself and my music. But as the youngest member of Zerobaseone, I felt like I had to prove myself to my older peers constantly. They were all so talented and charismatic, and sometimes I felt like I was just a burden to them. Maybe that's why I always ended up being the one to cook and clean for them. It was the only way I felt useful.

Lost in my thoughts, I failed to notice Gyuvin quietly approaching me. His usually bright eyes were tinged with concern as he gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "Choonha, are you okay?" he asked softly, his voice laced with genuine worry.

I mustered a weak smile, masking the turmoil within me. "I'm fine, Gyuvin. Just tired," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. The truth was far more complicated than exhaustion, but I couldn't bring myself to burden him with my troubles.

His grip tightened ever so slightly, a silent gesture of support. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you," he offered, his voice filled with sincerity.

Touched by his genuine kindness, I nodded in gratitude. It was moments like these that reminded me of the silver linings amidst the storms. Even in the midst of my own struggles, I was not alone. I had friends who cared, who were willing to listen and offer a shoulder to lean on. I just had to gather the strength to let them in.

As the ramyeon finished cooking, I served bowls for Ara, Hao, and Tae Rae, ensuring they were taken care of before retreating to a corner of the living room. I watched as the others eagerly dug into their meals, their conversation becoming a symphony of laughter and chatter.

Ara must have sensed my unease, because she put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Choonha. You're doing great. We all believe in you."

I forced a smile at her, grateful for her words of encouragement. But deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was just not good enough. What if I messed up during our debut? What if I let everyone down? I pushed those thoughts aside and focused on finishing the Ramyeon. It was the least I could do for my hungry roommates.

As I had served the food to my three late night crewmembers, I had a lot left in the pot. The other members dug in greedily, chatting and laughing like nothing was wrong. But I couldn't join in their lightheartedness. I felt like I was drowning in my own anxiety, and no one could see it.

After we finished eating, everyone went back to their activities, leaving me alone in the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, trying to steady my breathing. That's when I heard footsteps approaching. It was Hao.

"Hey," he said, leaning against the counter next to me. "You doing okay?"

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Hao had always been there for me, ever since that night when he promised my brother to take care of me. He was like a big brother to me, and I appreciated his concern.

But as he looked at me with those kind eyes, I couldn't help the tears that spilled over. "I don't know, Hao. I just feel so... overwhelmed. What if I mess up during our debut? What if I'm not good enough?"

Hao put a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles. "Hey, listen to me. You're more than good enough. You have a unique talent that no one else in this group has. You bring something special to Zerobaseone, and we wouldn't be the same without you."

I sniffled, feeling a little bit better. "Thanks, Hao. I just... I don't know if I'm ready for all of this."

He gave me a small smile. "None of us were ready for this, Choonha. But we're in this together. We'll support each other and get through it, no matter what."

I nodded, feeling a little bit of the weight lift off my shoulders. Maybe Hao was right. Maybe I was good enough. And maybe, just maybe, we could make it as a group. But for now, all I wanted was to get some rest and face tomorrow with a clear mind.