Whenever I sing this song.. I can’t help but cry.. wherever I heard this song.. always ended  up with these tears..

Crying.. even the sky is crying.. because they know.. these tears..All always about you..

without anyone knowing.. I love you.. without anyone knowing..I think about you.. all night..just remember you..

Your face.. your smiles.. your voice.. all day just about you..

You said ‘I know it ain’t easy for us’ but all I want to hear is that you never cares about anything around us.

You said ‘I got no choice’ but I never want to heard that.. because its mean you’ll leave me alone and never turned back again.. I just wanna be with you.

You said that you love me.. love me with all your heart..you don’t care about anything because with me you can live.. with me you can smile even though all the things were going crazy.

 but.. all I saw in your eyes..you just saying the lies..

This is unfair.. this is really unfair.. can you see I’m in here crying alone..

everytime I sing this song, I always looked at you, hoping that you can see how much Love I gave to you.. but.. everytime you play this song, you never and ever looked back at me..

You said this is our song.. because this song just like how our love story happen.. our secret love.. our forbidden love.. I nod because I understand that you wanted this is to be a secret between us..

But.. the times passed just like hell to me.. my heart ache… can’t you see that..???

I knew it will happen.. It's hard even to talk just on the phone with you.. so every day
We secretly talk through texting as I cautiously look around me.. its hard to keep this as secret.. even thought you always next to me.. sleep in one roof with me..but still you make me feel awkward.

Everytime I looked at you, you always smiling.. but that smile not only for me.. you gave that smile to all members, and act like I same as them.

I just wanted to be a special one to you, I just want you say that You love me without afraid someone could heard us..Even if you're next to me I can’t hold your hand, everytime I looking for your gaze, hoping that you will glances at me.. just once.. But I can’t see anything..  because of your pushed down hat.. I can't even look at your eyes.

Now..I want to asked you.. who will know this feeling???

Who knows..everytime I text you.. everytime I update my status..I always feel nervous, scared that someone will notice something between us.. its hard really hard..

Who knows..Wherever we go, we always sit in the farthest corner.. Whatever we do, we can't even take a single picture.. afraid that someone will gave us a weird look and notice something happen between you and me.. Even if we lock eyes for a moment, we get surprised and We get nervous, scared in case someone figures out our secret

Now I ask you… What's so important about that? You are next to me And our time together is more precious.. I love you and you love me.. but why always like this..

You said ‘I’ll never let you go, never let anyone touch you and always protect you..because you are mine..mine to keep’ but looks like you forgotten about your promises, because when someone touching me, hugging me, kisses me infront of you..you not get upset.. you just laughed and saying those stupid words..’aren’t they cute..what a cute dongsaeng’ even though it just a kidding words because I know you didn’t meant it.. but still..I’m hurt.

I want you to yelled at them.. said that I’m yours..forever yours.. I want you to feel jealous.. and pulled away all people who want to touch me.. but no..you never do that.. even you always holding someone’s else hands instead me.

And I feeling this..I’m tired.. I’m scared.. I Don’t want this anymore.. I don’t want to hold you anymore.. I don’t want to cry anymore..

“lets end this” I said, clenching my fist and holding back my tears.. “I can’t..I’m sorry..I just..I just tired..”  I added, feeling the sharp pain stabbed my heart “with you or without you all are same.. you next to me.. but I can’t touch you..” I said..looked at your dark eyes, you staring at me like I’m a clown.. am I that funny in your eyes..??.

“I-I always try to be strong.. and keep our secret like what you want....but.. I couldn’t help and feeling hurt..” I don’t know when these tears coming out, all I know.. I was crying infront you, while you just keep silent looked back at me.

“this secret just Killing me inside..” I whispered, sobbing.

“that’s all..” I frozed and looked at you.. “is that all you want..???” you asked me, I opened my mouth without saying any words, your question hurt my heart, what else you think I want..??.

“I’m sorry..I don’t know this all Hurting you..I thought our relationship is okay.. But..I never thought that you hurt..I’m sorry” you whispers, not even glanced at me again. “if that all you want..all I do is say.. yes..”

 yes.. that’s all you says and I know my world is broke, I can’t help but cry as I looked at your cold eyes, you looked like you never cares about me.

“y-yes..” I answered but I’m not sure that you heard my voice, You sighed and walked toward me, reached your hands and caress my cheeks gently, I closed my eyes and let the warm of your skin touching me.

“after this..lets be friend like before.. I don’t want our members feel uncomfortable because of us..” you said, I surprise that your voice was calm, I just nodded and looked at you.

“You can back to our dorm first, I have to go somewhere..” you said and smiled, I just looked at you who turned back and leave me alone.

I knelt down and crying my heart out, I don’t want this.. I want you to saying I’m important to you.. I want you to grabbed my hand and said you never want to let me go.. I want you back and kissed me.. I don’t want this farewell.

“why..you said you love me..but you let me go this easy.. why..?? are you never love me..?”

why am I like this..?? am I the one who want to leave you..?? but why am I the one who hurt..???.

Please don’t leave me..I don’t want to.. please back.. please turned back..I will wait in here for you.. just please..I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t to saying that word..

But..

This is so painful.. I waiting for you to back but you never back again.. and I know.. all is over in this night.. the secret never meant anything for you and I.

I don’t know how long I was sleeping after I pour all my heart with the tears, I heard a noisy came from the living room, I rubbed my eyes and staring at the darkness, my swollen eyes felt so heavy.

‘yah.. Yongguk-ah.. are you drink..??aisshhh.. your smell so bad.. how could you be like this’ I heard Himchan hyung yelling at you, yeah.. I smiled bitterly and closed my eyes, snuggled onto my blankets, holding my tears back, I crying all night alone.. and I don’t want to let out this tears again.

‘none of your business..!!’ I gasped.. when I heard that you were shouting at Himchan hyung, you never did that.. never, you always smile and be a positive leader.. and why now..??.

‘daehyun-ah..’ I frozed as you shouting my name.. “daehyun-ah where are you..!!’ you called me, I quickly sat up  and staring at the closes door, my heart beating like crazy.

‘yah..!! he is asleep..don’t yell like that’ himchan hyung started to nagging again, but like you never care about him, I heard your steps, you walking closer toward my room, without care about himchan’s Hyung nags.

“Daehyun-ah” I heard you call my name and knocks my room “dae..open your door” you growled, I bites my lips and walking toward my door, hesisted to opened it for you.

“dae..please.. open this..” I heard you whispers, I couldn’t help but let this tears out, as I heard those broken voice of you.

“I..I never want this.. never want this..” you whimpered, I frozed as I hear your crying voice, why are you cry..?? is that because of me..??

 “I don’t want this.. daehyun-ah.. You said you never want to leave me.. but you choose to leave me..” I sat infront my door and hear your voice. “You broken my heart you know..?? is that hard to love me..?? am I the one who love you.. are you never love me back..??” you asked, I just crying in silent hearing all your question “am I not good enough.. am I always make you cry..?? I’m sorry..I’m sorry.. but..please.. I don’t want this anymore.. I’m tired too.. I hate this.. I hate when someone else touching you, I hate all eyes that gazed toward you.. I want to keep you as mine.. forever..”

“daehyun-ah..I love you” I sobbing so hard as I heard you said those three words, I hear all gasped and I know all members were outside hearing you, they must be shock.

“I really love you.. I can’t let you go..I want you.. I want you to myself.. please say.. that you love me too.. I don’t care if that just a lie..I just want to heard those words..please say..you love me..please” Its broke my heart, I hurt you.. I make you cry.

“when you said good bye..I try to understand.. if I let you go.. maybe you’ll happy and never cry again,.. but I forget.. without you..I can’t breath..I’m not okay..I’m helpless.. I can even imagine my days without you..” I covered my face with my hands, try to buried my cries.

“you know.. I don’t want to lose you..I don’t care if you call me an selfish person..I just want you..” I keep silent, I heard you sniffed and knocked the door again.

“I don’t need anybody Daehyun-ah.. all I want is you.. I only need you” I can’t stand this again, I grabbed the knob and opened it, just to revealing the crying you, You looked at me with broken eyes, The most painful gaze you ever gave to me.

“I love you..” you whispers, I quickly pulled you onto my embraced and hugged you tightly, as I never want to let you go again.

“I’m sorry..I don’t know..” I cried, you wrapped your arms around me and snuggled in my neck.

“no..I’m sorry..but please believe in me.. I love you” I nodded.

“I love you too.. and its not a lie..” I answered, i looked up and noticed all members were staring at us, I bites my lips and looked at them with apologic smiles, I thought they will hate us, they will think that our love is disgusting.

But to my surprises, they just smiled back to me and mouthing something, I blinked and staring at them in disbelief, but they just shrugged and went, leave us all alone infront my room.

‘love is love.. there’snothing wrong with that’ those words they saying..

I pulled away of you and staring at your swollen eyes, I smiled and grabbed your hand, dragged you into my room.

“I love you..” I whispered and pushed You onto your bed, I climbed on top of you and chuckled.

“you look funny..I don’t know my charisma leader will be like this, so sad” I said, You let out a lightly laugh before cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips gently, I closed my eyes and enjoy your warm.

“I love you too.. forever and only you..you don’t know how scared I am, when you said you want to end our loves” You said playing with my fingers “I don’t want to lose you dae-ah.. if you want me to tell everyone that you are mine and I’m yours I will do it.. I don’t care about anything..I live in here just for you.. who cares with them.. I don’t want to make you cry again..I’ll protect you from now and ever.. forever..” you whispered and kissed my lips again, I smiled and nodded.

“lets tell everyone..I don’t want this to be a secret again..” I said, You smiled and kisses my neck.

“I loved too..”

Now.. wherever I heard this song.. I always smiles.. because when this song was playing, You always wrapped your arm around me and whispered.

‘secret love..?? Our love not a secret again..’

and.. whenever I sing this song.. I looked at you.. and I found that you looked back at me.. your eyes always saying those words that You love me.. and You know.. I love you too.