Seven things YOU love more than YOU love me.

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• YOU love your baby.

You love Yoogeun so much. You bought some presents just for him. You spared sometimes just to meet him. He’s just like your blood-related child or some kind of little nephew that you like so much. Moreover, he loves you too. You two connect with each other perfectly like a synchronize symphony. Everyone knows that he’s your baby and you’re his favorite appa of all SHINee members. You will always care for him and you won’t let him forget you.

I never thought that I would be jealous toward a baby boy that I have met three times with you. He’s a nice and cute baby that I can’t be angry to. I know that I need to love him just like you love him, that’s what you hope for me to do. But, I felt like I want to be him that can hug and kiss you freely. I’m jealous, because you always have time for him. When he was sick and at the same time I needed you for quite important matter, yet you chose to took care of him

I’m okay toward it though.

• YOU love sports.

You dedicate your life for sports since you took your first breath in this world. Your father is a football coach and you want to be a football player once. Your sport’s blood is no joke as you became the ace of ‘Dream Team’. You won so many sports thingy through that show which lead you became their favorite player. Sport is a gift from Him that you treasure so much. That’s why I can’t win against sport, ‘cause it’s your godsend.

I became jealous when you left me early in the morning to do some stupid daily exercises. One second I had your hands wrapped tightly around my waist, but the next second your hands had left me behind with the cold morning breeze. I wish to the shooting star every night that when I woke up every morning you will be by my side and mouthing ‘I love you’ for only me. However, I woke up with only a piece of note saying “I’ll meet you at the filming location”.

But, I’m okay with it.

• YOU love food.

You’re so athletic, but you like to eat so much. That’s the thing that I never get to understand about you. You always ask me to go on a date in a famous new restaurant, not in a romantic thing that I would love to have. Your fans always think about the romantic side of yours, but I only got the see it once at your confession a year ago. Food is another funny obsession that you always have time to do, mean less time to spend with me.

I’m jealous; in fact I never enjoy eating with you. I spend less time with you even when we decide to hang out to eat some delicious food. I used to hope for a romantic guy to be my boyfriend, someone that will give me a bouquet of flower on our date. I like the sweet talking boy, not the cold and chic guy like you. A guy that will do everything just for me, not just a sweet gesture without me realizing it. I don’t want a pat on the head; I want a kiss in the cheek.

But, I’m still okay with it.

• YOU love to win.

Losing is the worst thing in your life. You always want to win in anything you do; you hate to lose so much. You have this competitive side that you derived from your father as you said so. When you lost, you could lock yourself in your room for days without meeting anyone even me. You called it as a reflection, but I said it as a hardcore social abusing. Winning is a must thing for you that you can’t help but doing the best to reach it.

Jealousy, I can’t avoid it anymore. Your selfish thinking over the game of winning isn’t a simple matter. You have to win and that means I’m also included in that childish game of yours. I hate to be in your complicated circumstance, the pathetic side when you lost an important game. You ignored me in your days of hardship, although I wanted to be there for you. You said that you don’t need me in this kind of matter, that you can handle all of them by yourself.

Once again, I’m always okay with it.

• YOU love your buddies.

You have abundant of friends due to your charming nurture. Whether your band mate or any other idols, or even just ordinary citizens. You like your circle of friends, thankfully your guy friends. Donghae and Changmin oppa are just a few friends I ever caught you go out with. You often hang out with them to do some Boys’ Nigh Out for a quality time between you all. Friends play important part in your life, you never going to leave them.

They aren’t girls, yet I’m still in rage of jealousy when you hung out with them. When I need you the most, you won’t be there as you have scheduled plan with them. I want you to leave them for a while to look at how I have been doing so far yet you never do that. You always make the same reason that they had booked you first before me, because of that you need to go out with them first. I’m always your second choice after this thing, although I need you too.

I will always be okay with it.

• YOU love your career.

You worked really hard to arrive at this point of your career, that’s how you always try to be the hard worker artist. You never going to let down your career, you will always strive to do the best. You dance vigorously, you sing controllably, you rap strongly and you act naturally. Your fans love you for your hard worker side, that’s why you give them more of it. Career is your other half, your soul mate that finally you can meet after your blockbuster debut.

I’m jealous at your fans that get to see you every day. I’m also jealous at the stages that own every corner of you. You love your career so much ‘till you forget that you love me too. You don’t want to disappoint your fans, so you won’t tell them that you have this relationship with me. You’re too afraid that you will hurt your fans and maybe hurt me too. However, I feel more pain when in front of the camera we pretend not to know each other.

I feel okay with it.

• YOU love my best friend.

You love her, but you never realize it. You love her more than you love me, more than anything above that I have written. This made me realize that you love these seven things more than you love me because you love the last or the seventh point so much, you love her more than anything in this world.

I will never ever be okay with it.

I'm OKAY.

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                I’m at my drama filming location titled ‘To the Beautiful You’ to shoot one of its episode. I’m very tired that I couldn’t sleep last night as I wrote unimportant things about my silly boyfriend. I love him too much to let him go to the embrace of other things or other people. He may have seven things he loves so much more than his love for me, but I’m okay as long as he still has remaining heart for me. To be here with him spending the rest of the month is beyond enough.

                Choi Minho, the Kang Taejoon of ‘To the Beautiful You’, is my perfect boyfriend. It was a dream comes true for me to finally have a drama with my boy as my co-star. I can spend more time with him in the filming location and the other actors and staffs didn’t mind about it as long as we’re being professionals. We have our own shippers called ‘MinSul’ now, its fandom getting bigger and bigger after the drama airing every week.

“Ssul!” Someone called me from the crowd that I couldn’t see her face, but I knew that voice so much. Only one person calls me with that cute nickname, to be none other than my best friend.

“Jjung! Here!” I shouted for her to come near me, to sit beside me under the big tree. I’m all alone by myself before she finally sat next to me with a happy smile plastered on her beautiful face.

“How are you, Jjung?” I said to begin the conversation as I miss her so much, but I just want to keep my cool in front of her as I dress being a beautiful boy. I haven’t met her for months now.

“I should be the one that asking you that question. And what’s with the pretend-to-be-cool-act that you put one me, huh? Are you trying to be fun?” She said in an annoyed tone. I smiled and she laughed. We hugged each other so tight to make this missing feel vanish in a matter of second.

“I miss you, Krystal.” I said softly in her left ear. She giggled at my cheesy words, but then pats my back caringly to soothe my weary state.

“I miss you too, Goo Jaehee.” She answered with the same tone while nuzzling in my neck. I laughed so hard at the name she just called me.

“You have worked hard, f(x)’s Krystal.” I said again as a lame joke that we usually like to play when calling each other stage name. She laughed as a comment of my joke.

“So do you, my JungLi couple. I came here alone though, the other member can’t come on time. Aren’t I the best member of all for you?” She said with the cutest aegyo toward me with the pouting lip and cute yet weird voice.

“Ouch! Are you sick or something? How come the little ice princess can be this cute? I just leave you for a couple of months, are you playing with Sunny eonni or something?” I joked while pinching her chubby cheeks until it reddens a little. I released my hands while we laughed together to ease the awkwardness between us.

“Oppa! Come here!” Krystal shouted and waved her hands at anyone behind my back. I turned my head to see Minho Oppa is running toward us in full speed.

               He has this excited smile on his face, the smile that I have never seen in a while since our filming. He rarely smile, it’s like the tiredness had indulged his bright side. Although I made a joke for him, he would only give a slight smile that I barely can see. Here he is now, he smiled so brightly that made me could see how handsome he is when he smiled. He stood between me and Krystal, tap my shoulder a little then pat Krystal’s head affectionately. My heart crushed a little at this moment.

“Oppa, I miss you! I have been talking with Donghae oppa while he was visiting my home to pick up Jessica’s unnie. He said that he miss you so much. You have missed three basketball matches against Changmin oppa since your filming. You should come after it all ends.” Soojung said with the joyful face she brought up. Minho oppa listened to her eagerly while I just felt being left out outside their world.

“I hope it would end soon, Soojung. It’s tiring to film all the time. Right, Sulli?” He said tried to push me to enter into their conversation without hurting my pride.

“Yes, it’s right. I hope so.” I said slowly as I actually don’t want the filming to come to an end so soon. I want to be with Minho as long as possible without any unwanted intruder.

“Soojung, you want to come in? You need to see the other actors. You will love them, be friend with them!” Minho oppa said to Krystal as he pointed at the place of the filming is taken at.

“I would love too. Let’s go, Ssul!” She said while holding my hand gesturing me to come with her and Minho oppa. I released my hand from her grasp. I smiled a little to not showing my pain.

“You go first with Minho oppa. I’m here to wait for the makeup-actress. I will follow you after I finish with this matter. Is it okay, oppa?” I said to both of them with the trademark smile I have been faking for countless time.

“Okay then, Babe. We’ll go first. Come soon, okay?” Minho oppa said. They have disappeared a few minutes later leaving me behind with my wounded heart.

“I’m okay.” I mouthed softly as they didn’t even need my answer anymore. Whether I’m okay with it or not, they have gone together no matter what.

              MinStal is the match made from the heaven. Krystal will always play important part in Minho’s life and Minho will always be the caring oppa for Krystal. Yoogeun loves Krystal more than any other girl Minho had introduced. Sport is Krystal’s favorite thing just like Minho, they have their own world of sport. They can enjoy being in each other side, laughing while eating some delicious food. They both are so competitive, they have this hardworking side that make them compatible with each other. Minho’s buddies are Krystal’s protective and close oppas, they are in the same circle of friendship. They strive for their career, they often practice together without anyone notice it. They love each other, I just realized it.

I felt the b tears in my cheek, but I would be OKAY.

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I’m okay with it. I’m still okay with the seven points of your beloved things. They won’t be matter as you will still love me no matter what barrier ahead us. You can love her more, but you’re still my boyfriend that I love so much. She won’t hurt me by separating us and you won’t go to her side as you don’t want to cause any ruckus between us. I’m always okay as long as this heart still can emit the pain you give to me every time you’re with her. I’m still okay as she’s the only person I can rely on, my best friend that I don’t want to lose forever. I will always be okay, ‘cause you two are my beloved ones that God had sent to me. You two won’t hurt me; you will make me more okay.