Crux
The War in our Hearts- The Cross -
Soomi reached her breaking point. After she left the royal advisor’s study with her guard Kyungsoo, she hurried outside, eager to breathe fresh air. Her face was pale, and her body trembled in both fear and revulsion. She struggled to forget Wang’s harsh words, but they resounded in her mind, tormenting her.
No citizen of Caelum survived an encounter with him, and you most certainly won’t survive either.
“What am I even doing here?” she whispered with tears burning in her gray eyes. Ignoring her guard, she simply walked on, not knowing where she was going. Soomi was overcome by the sudden urge to flee, to run, and to leave this cursed kingdom. The tall castle walls were a daunting sight. The shadows they painted over the court stretched far, showing that no one could escape them. Soomi couldn’t get away. It was her duty to endure this. Even if she was scared, and even if she would die in the end, she had to stay.
Her legs carried her around a building, and in its shadow, she froze, staring at the stone wall in front of her. Tears ran over her cheeks as she hid in the darkness. The burden on her shoulders was too heavy for her to carry. She collapsed, falling to her knees on the dirty ground. Her body heaved as she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. The tears kept coming, and her heart ached as if a sword had torn it open. She didn’t want to be here. She didn’t want to spend her life surrounded by these cruel people. She was sick of all the hate and prejudice. Soomi wanted to go back to her brother and father.
“I miss you so much, Tae,” she breathed, her heart shattering into tiny pieces when she imagined his cheerful smile. She wanted to be Kim Soomi again, the young and carefree woman who lived in Caelum with her family. However, things would never go back to how they were. She was Byun Soomi now, and she would one day die in Lux. The entire kingdom was against her; how could she possibly survive?
“Your Highness,” she suddenly heard a low voice and remembered she wasn’t alone. Kyungsoo had seen her outburst and her tears. Cursing herself for this moment of weakness, she wiped the tears away and got up shakily, removing the dirt on her dress. She hadn’t intended for him to witness all this and felt humiliated, preparing herself to face his scorn. Turning to him, she reluctantly met his gaze and saw him frowning. His dark eyes were filled with melancholia as they studied her, but she could not tell what he was thinking.
“I apologize,” she whispered.
“There is no need. I understand this isn’t easy for you,” he said calmly. “However, always remember one thing: you mustn’t show weakness in front of the royal advisor. Don’t trust him, and don’t believe everything he tells you.”
Astonishment was written all over her face. “Why would you say that?”
“I’m not fond of that man and disapprove of his manipulative ways. Some of the things he says are blatant lies,” Kyungsoo said before falling silent. He didn’t seem to like talking all that much.
“I see… thank you for the warning,” she answered, narrowing her eyes. She hadn’t liked the advisor from the start, and Kyungsoo’s words reassured her that it was better not to trust him. Soomi wiped her eyes one more time before she stepped back in the sunlight and looked around in search of something.
“Could you show me the way to the stables, please?” she asked, and he nodded.
They rounded the castle's main building and walked closer to the heavily guarded drawbridge. She saw servants and commoners lingering close to it, some of them working while others seemed to be merchants. The cobblestone street behind the drawbridge led through the bustling capital of Lux connected to the castle. Soomi had only seen it once when she arrived and was curious about it, but she knew she wasn’t welcome there.
The stables were located in the western part of the castle, and when she got closer, she smelt the hay and horses. A faint smile bloomed on her lips, the corners of quirking up slightly.
Kyungsoo opened the door, and they entered, Soomi looking around with barely contained excitement. The stable was much bigger than the one in Caelum’s castle, and there were more horses. Horseboxes were lined up left and right of her, and some of their inhabitants curiously stuck their heads out to look at the visitors. Soomi lifted her skirt a little and walked closer, patting a black horse on the neck while it sniffed at her, whinnying. She giggled and moved on to the next one, repeating the process until she had passed most of the boxes. The last one caught her attention. She spotted a cute foal with cream-colored fur alone in its horsebox. Turning to Kyungsoo, she shot him a questioning look.
“Why is this one without its mother?” she asked worriedly as the foal approached her cautiously.
“I don’t know the details… You should ask Jongin about that. He trains the horses and knows them much better than me. He should be around somewhere.”
Kyungsoo looked around in the stable, checking the storage rooms, and Soomi used the opportunity to spend time with the foal. It couldn’t have been older than five months, and she feared that its mother wasn’t alive anymore. Smiling sadly, she carefully reached out her hand and watched it approach curiously. The foal inspected her hand before it. Soomi giggled, taking it as an invitation to pat the animal’s head. It whinnied at her, its ears pricking up. Wanting to be a bit closer to the animal, Soomi opened the door and entered the horsebox.
“Aww, you’re a cute one,” she smiled, the horse making her forget her fears and anxiety for a little while. She had always loved animals, horses being her favorites, and she enjoyed being near them. It wasn’t customary for a princess to spend time in the stables, but she could care less right now.
Soon, Kyungsoo reappeared with a brown-haired man at his side. She recognized him as one of the prince’s knights. He looked flabbergasted when he saw her standing beside the foal, petting its soft fur. His mouth fell open, and he gaped at the sight. Kyungsoo hid a smirk at his expression.
“I’m sorry for intruding; I just wanted to meet the foal,” she explained quickly, hoping he wouldn’t get angry with her, but the opposite was the case.
“No, please don’t apologize. I was merely surprised you would want to get close to a horse, Your Highness. Noblewomen usually stay away from this place because, according to them, it stinks,” he said, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He leaned against the wooden door and watched her. “I’m Kim Jongin, by the way.”
“May I ask you something, Jongin? I was wondering why this foal is all alone,” she said, the concern in her eyes surprising Jongin once more.
“This is Yumi; her mother died a month ago. She was sick, and we couldn’t save her. The stable hands and I have been caring for the little one since. I see she already likes you,” he answered, nodding his chin to the foal. Yumi rubbed her head against Soomi’s arm, asking to be petted again. The young princess smiled, the foal’s neck with her hand.
“That’s unfortunate, but it’s great you’re taking care of her. Is it alright if I visit now and then?”
Jongin smiled, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “I don’t mind your company, Your Highness. And Yumi would surely be happy, too.”
The following day, during lunch, the King planned to make a formal announcement to his people regarding the marriage marking the end of the war between Lux and Caelum. News about the armistice had been spreading, but most people hadn’t heard of the wedding yet. Soomi dreaded the crowd's reactions since they likely would be anything but happy to have one of their enemies living among them.
The entire royal family stood on the balcony over the drawbridge, flanked by several knights. They also guarded the square in front of the drawbridge where many people had gathered to hear the announcement of their King. The eyes of the crowd rested on Soomi, the only person up there who
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