It was morning and usually, Kai wouldn’t even bother to come back home to see Jiwon but this time was different. It was the first time Kai stood Jiwon up and Kai wanted to see how Jiwon was handling it.

‘She didn’t cry.’ Kai sighed in relief when he Jiwon’s hair out of her face and saw no sign of red or puffiness.

It sounds weird but believe it or not, Kai was purposely trying to hurt Jiwon for her sake also. Kai really, really liked Jiwon and he hoped to be with her for a long time. And to do that, Kai needed Jiwon to get used to these feelings of disappointment because as much as Kai wanted t, Kai will never change. Kai will always be a disappointment. And to Kai, Jiwon getting used to disappointment was Jiwon getting used to being with Kai. He just hopes that she will learn not to get hurt while being disappointed. 

Kai’s motives were selfish. He knew that. If Kai was anything, he was selfish. Kai knew he was the kind of person who is always going to put himself above everything else-Jiwon will always be second. So he would much rather hurt Jiwon than change him. So if love is supposed to be putting the other person all above himself, then Kai certainly did not love Jiwon. 

Jiwon groaned feeling the familiar to her hair, and knew that it could only be Kai. “Why didn’t you call?”

Kai continued to play with Jiwon’s hair and paused for a few seconds to think. “I don’t know. It just slipped out of my mind. I’m sorry.” 

They stayed silent like that, with Kai continuing to Jiwon’s hair and Jiwon staring into Kai’s eyes. Jiwon was waiting for Kai to say more, to say that he’ll never do it again but they knew it would be a lie for Kai to say so. And Kai didn’t feel like lying.

Jiwon decided to break the silence and change the subject. “Are you staying?”

No was what Kai wanted to say. 

Kai sighed mentally when he the hair out of Jiwon’s face and saw the look in her eyes. “To make up for yesterday, I’ll be yours all day today.” 

Something about Jiwon that always prevented him from doing what he was supposed to. 

Jiwon looked down at the hand that was entwined with Kai’s, wanting so hard to smile the way she used to but can’t. She still loves the feeling and knew that she was still in love with him, but she is slowly beginning to realize that they are not going to last forever. And that was what kept her from smiling. 

It’d be a lie for Jiwon to say that the feelings she had for Kai was as passionate as when they were first dating. The feelings began to dull and fade away for her as with Kai. It just seemed to her that Kai and his feelings worked on a clocked that went on a much faster than her own. 

But she shouldn’t be surprised. Kai was… for the lack of better words, Kai. He was no longer Jongin. But perhaps... Perhaps there never was a Jongin. Jongin was someone Kai pretended to be –or at least tried to be. But Jongin doesn’t seem to exist with Jiwon. It’s the sort of thing where Kai is only Jongin when he wants Jiwon. She is slowly seeing that it was because Jiwon loved Kai that he was so different from when everything first started, when Jiwon was never in love with him, when he was all seemingly in love with her. No? 

Kai really is a player in the sense that everything was a game to him. And why would he want to play if the game is going out of its way to let him win?

Jiwon has decided. She will break up with Kai this month. Jiwon knew it was going to be hard but she’s seeing that now is the only time where she is emotionally capable enough to slowly let go. She refused to fall any harder and attach to Kai any closer. 

Jiwon looked at the hand that Kai was holding onto and started to loosen it. She has never once let go of Kai’s hand; he was always the one to do it first. But this will be the first time she starts to let go, to see if she can do it or not. Think of it as a test. 

Kai didn’t seem to be paying any attention to her but every time Jiwon would start to loosen his grasp, he would instinctively tighten his grasp. 

In the end, Kai only knows to hold on if she starts to let go. 

Kai isn’t stupid. He can see that Jiwon is different. 

When he tried to wipe food off from the corners of , Jiwon smiles but shakes his hand away to do it herself. When he puts his arms around her expecting a smile as she snuggle closer, Jiwon cringes ever so slightly. When he holds her hand, she would always find an excuse to pull away. 

But again, Kai is selfish. As long as Jiwon is his, he really doesn’t care. He’s not bothered by the thought that Jiwon is changing as long as she is still there next to him. It could be better this way. Jiwon seemed less clingly this way. 

Did it occur to him that Jiwon might be starting to let go? Yes. Did it occur to him that Jiwon would ever completely let go? No. 

At least not yet. 

“Should I get his?” Jiwon was carefully debating to herself as she held onto the model phone. They ended up at an electronic store after eating and walking around a bit.

“Do you need a new phone?”

“I could get an upgrade. They say they’re going to stop releasing updates for my old phone so it’s not like it's going to get any better. You know what, I’ve decided. I’ll get it. It’s pretty right?” Jiwon held up the white phone next to her face and smiled. 

“Alright. I’ll pay.” Kai took the phone and left for the cashier before she cold even debate. 

“”Jiwon?” a voice chirped from the side of the store.

“Lu-Luhan?” Jiwon turned and was scared to see that she was right. That’s right. Scared.

“What are you doing here? AH! I said I was getting a new phone a few days ago. Following me?” the guy smirked.

“Just happening to get a new phone too.” Jiwon tried her hardest not to roll her eyes. She still needed to be professional because Luhan is a bit too influential in SM-which she thinks it's a complete joke. It's kind of like giving a weapon to a child that knows just enough to not shoot himself. 

“Is that so?” Luhan hummed but it was obvious that this conceited guy didn’t buy it. The world was in love with him so why would Jiwon be any different?  “Which one are you getting?” 

“This.” Jiwon pointed to the model in front of her. 

“I’m getting the same one in black too. You really are following me aren’t you? You could just say if you wanted a couple phone- can I help you?” Luhan glared at Kai who walked towards here while standing a bit too closely beside Jiwon.

“Just waiting for you guys to finish your conversation.” Kai tried hard not to laugh. Kai was a flirt and that meant he could spot one a mile away. As much as he wanted to get shoo someone for flirting with his girlfriend, it was too funny the way Luhan was flirting to not stay and watch. Kai was always up for entertainment. 

“Why would you-“

“Kai, this is Luhan, one of the models I worked for. Luhan, this is Kai. My boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? Huh?” Luhan glanced at Kai and looked from top to bottom carefully. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but this guy was about as good looking as he is.  About. 

“Nice-”

“You guys don’t suit each other.” Luhan scrunched his face up before walking away.

“What is with him?” Kai was laughing along with Jiwon about what was happening earlier. Jiwon then continued to tell him all the strange things she’s seen of Luhan, from his strange pranks to his bipolar moods.

What was funnier to Kai was how Jiwon seemed so clueless about the tiny crush this kid has on Jiwon. But of course, he won’t tell Jiwon that. 

“Everyone at the building is kind of scared of him. I think he even has a code word for his tantrums. But what is funnier is that his fans call him fairy or something.”

“He looks kind of like a fairy-or a girl. He would actually make a pretty girl.”

“Were you checking Luhan out?” Jiwon laughed at the thought. She always found him pretty but imagining Luhan in a dress was a completely different thing. It was disturbing to think how much she thought it would actually suit Luhan.

“Definitely. Too bad he’s probably underage. I’ll have to wait a couple more years to tap on that.” Kai chuckled.

“He’s older than you.” Jiwon giggled again.

“What?” Kai laughed even harder and widen his eyes, looking back to Jiwon. “You’re pretty when you laugh under the sunlight like this.”

“Only under the sun?” 

“No. Always.” Kai smiled genuinely as Jiwon felt her heart skip a beat.

It were moments like this that Jiwon was reminded of all the reasons why she agreed to date Kai, move in with Kai and loved Jongin. It were also moments like these that Jiwon also stayed with Kai and gave him another chance. 

Kai and Jiwon were still smiling to themselves when Jiwon felt her phone vibrating from her pocket.

It was an incoming call from Kris. 

“Mm! Let’s go there now.” Kai grabbed Jiwon’s hand before she could even decide whether or not she should pick up Kris’s calls or not. 

Kai always seemed to have the best timing for everything. 

A/N:

Now I don't bother to tell anyone every chapter that they should always comment. I can't force that because I think my story should make you want to do that. But honesly, it's doesn't really make me want to update more when all you tell me is to just "update"... I know that. I know that I'm supposed to update. I want to update. But it's a different story when you explain why I should update.

I need inspiration and a comment does go a long way in serving as inspiration when it's more than just a couple of words.  

Maybe I'm being a bit sassy.