A person sat by a window.

 

Everything was quiet. The world was silent.

 

But somewhere, he knew that someone was crying.

 

At least one person.

 

The air was cold but nevertheless he let the air continue to blow on his face.

 

He knew, that tomorrow, he would have to wipe the tear stains off.

 

 

 

He sat on a chair.

 

Everything was noisy. The world was bustling. 

 

"Baekhyun! What's wrong? Are you okay?"

 

"I'm fine."

 

Not very, he thought, but decided to let Jongdae continue laughing at Chanyeol's lame joke.

 

He closed his eyes. It was noisy, loud, but he knew, when he disappears, it would all be quiet.

 

Would I miss it? he thought, but shook his head mentally. No, you wouldn't, Byun Baekhyun.

 

 

 

The list of the past phone calls he made were from Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jongdae, a few were from Sehun. 

 

He considered talking to them, but decided not to. 

 

He knew his friends were very attached to him, and so was him to his friends.

 

He knew it would hurt, a lot, if he just disappeared without them knowing. The cause. The reason why. 

 

He wanted to drown. Now. His thoughts were suffocating him, like how water did to lungs. It would slowly take up the air, leaving you breathless. It would let you sink deeper, away from the noise above. It would slowly, gently, but still painfully, take you away. It gives you time to remember the memories you had. 

 

When you die just to get away, you would think it would make some people happy. But no, it doesn't. That people change. It changes, and mourns along. But the people, desperate for death, wouldn't stop to think of that. Baekhyun knew this, and he was desperate too, but to make the people not mourn him.

 

He wanted to think. Think even deeper. How do I not make people cry? 

 

 

 

He went to the hospital for his regular check-up.

 

The doctor there was kind, young, and treated Baekhyun better then some patients. He knew this, but he didn't complain.

 

"You feeling better?"

 

He shrugs. He takes a peek at the doctor's name tag. Kim Jongin, it says.

 

When the doctor looks away to check some documents, in that short, short moment, Baekhyun tries out his name in a whisper. "Kim Jongin," he whispers. It sounded perfect on his tongue, rolling out and fitting in to place. 

 

"Yes?"

 

"No, nothing."

 

After a few more minutes if the check-up, Jongin gestures at Baekhyun kindly, smiling shyly, that it was okay to go now. But in Jongin's head, it wasn't okay. He wanted the short man to stay, but there was a line of patients outside waiting.

 

"Jongin."

 

Jongin startles, and he looks up almost too quickly. Baekhyun was still there.

 

"Can I ask a question?"

 

"Sure."

 

"I want to tell my friends about my illness. But I don't know how to break it to them. I don't want them to be hurt when I die." 

 

Jongin smiles slightly at his words. "Just tell them. No matter how hard you try, it would still hurt them a little inside when... when.. you... die."

 

Baekhyun nods. "I know.. But I want them to hurt just a bit, a tiny bit."

 

 

 

Whenever Baekhyun had to be hospitalised for a few days, or maybe even a month( Baekhyun would tell his friends that he had to go his grandmother's house for a while), Jongin would leave a little flower for him.

 

Baekhyun would keep it, and ask the nurses for a small little pot of water to keep the flower. He knew it was from Jongin, and he appreciated it.

 

Soon the flowers would gather, into a little bundle, and everytime Baekhyun is allowed to go home for a while, he would bring it with him.

 

Both men would feel a little pounding feeling in their chests when they meet eye contact. They didn't know what it was.

 

Love? Baekhyun thought, I can't love. I'll just end up hurting him.

 

Jongin knew he would get hurt, but he would take anything in the world for just, one, small kiss.

 

 

 

After his shifts, Jongin would go home, whistling and sticking his hands in his pockets. He would pass a little flower store, and he would remember to buy a flower for Baekhyun.

 

When he gets home, he would store the flower gently in a pot of water, labelling it for Baekhyun.

 

Then he would wait, until he gets notified that Baekhyun's coming for his regular check-up. Then, on that day, he would bring it on the train, ignoring glares from the other passengers.

 

He knew Baekhyun was getting worse everyday.

 

He knew, after every cough and shake of his head Baekhyun would make, that he was dying.

 

Whenever this thought strikes him in the face, hard, he would curl up and cry.

 

He would cry and cry for hours, until finally he drifts off to sleep.

 

 

 

"I'm scared. I think he's dying." Jongin mumbles in to the phone.

 

"Who, your patient?"

 

"Yep, him."

 

"Can you at least tell me his name- ugh, nevermind."

 

"He's dying." Jongin repeats. There's static at the other end, but the voice still comes through.

 

"It's okay. Don't dwell on it. Spend your last moments with him well."

 

Little did this person know that Jongin was talking to should also do the same.

 

"Okay.."