Chapter 1: Hmm, at the start where you wrote that Byul always walked hand in hand with Yongsun, does that mean that everybody in the office know that they are together? It's quite despicable of Yongsun to lie to Byul that she's dying. I thought it was good that you included the scene where Yongsun confiscated Byul's phone because it shows some sort of difference in their maturity level (in terms of being in a relationship, especially a forbidden one between a teacher and a student), which then surfaced again at the end where we get to see that Yongsun might not be the mature one after all. A feedback: I felt the photos disrupted the flow of the story a little, but it's all good. Thank you for this!
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