'Am I missing something here?!' He yelled again before taking a deep breath and massaging his temples.

Geng looked on worriedly but his eyes were fixed on Leetuk and Kangin while pointedly ignoring Heechul.

Normally Heechul would've noticed but his thoughts were running amok at the moment, torn between wanting to

confront Kangin for his tone and shielding Leeteuk from the tongue lashing .

Feeling a little more then frustrated,he stepped in front of Leeteuk while trying to difuse the tension in the air. 

'Kangin-ah', he spoke in what he hoped sounded a little light hearted tone.

'Please don't misunderstand.'

'It was just Teukie who was feeling all too relieved, that's why there was a koala wrapped around me.

You know what a worry wart he can be right?' He chortled quietly,hoping that might be enough to break through the awkward silence that filled the room.

'Right,Teuk? he nudged him in ribs, hoping that he would at the very least have a lame comeback to save the both of them. 

To his dismay though, Leeteuk seemed to shrink into himself and bowed quickly in Kangin's direction while mumbling his apologies.

Leeteuk had never felt more flustered in his life up to this very point.

His thoughts start swirling and his palms grow sweaty,feeling stupid that he suddenly found it so damn hard to defend his actions; to always keep up the facade as a no-nonsense yet loving leader.

Firm, yet ready to lend a listening ear if needed. 

The more he dwelled on why the heck he wasn't in control ,the more he had to supress the urge to laugh at himself.

'Some leader I am, what will they think of me now?'

He didn't realise however that he had just laughed aloud,albeit bitterly.

Geng glanced worriedly at Heechul and Kangin, wishing that he wasn't caught in the middle of all this, yet feeling torn that he was also a part of this whole mess of a situation.

Kangin subtly moved to Leeteuk and tried to lead him out of the room so that they could sort this out on their own terms but Jungsoo was done was being coddled and shoved him away. 

'No,I'am done with this! Let's just get all of this out of the way. He yelled at them.' 

What was even more surprising were the next words that tumbled out of Heechul's mouth. 

'Teuk-ah,please leave now.  He uttered quietly.

When no one seemed to move, he raised his voice though all Teuk heard was the helpesness he projected..the same feeling Teuk couldn't shake off as far as their emotions were involved. . 

'We..just can't do this now... no.I..I dont't think you should be acting on your feelings alone. 

'Have you even considered mine?' He ended off,his voice sounding hoarse and strained.

Leeteuk's irises doubled in size at his statement and the feeling of dread squeezed his heart,making him gasp out.

In retrospect,he had always been so careful and considerate of Heechul's feelings more then his own.

 Didn't he realise that he always placed him as his priority?

When Heechul first started  showing interest and wooing..well maybe not wooing him but realising that they gelled together so damn well.his heart had dared to hope that something..maybe something might be possible for them ,ignoring the fact that the timing was bad.

But soon after,He had overheard him ranting to someone, that Teuk was all too willing..giving ..that this chase had stopped becoming exciting .

And soon after that, he had been a and ghosted him,his concerns,his feelings and he himself which might seem next to impossible.

It took a lot of time for Leeteuk,Heechul and the members to get back to where they are now.

Many blows were delivered,some physical,though the ones that hurt the most were the emotional scars.

The after-effects had been a dark pit that, he in truth,still tended to slip back into from time to time.

It made him question his worth more then anything else.

. 

Even though people looked up to him, he never felt worthy or enough of a person to be respected anymore.

Heechul was too self absorbed that he never realised how hard it was for Leetuk to continue leading despite the fact that he was always there,not always visible but a presence that you could never ignore.

As grateful as Leeteuk was that Kangin had been there to help pick up the pieces of his heart,there was a piece that was still stubbornly lodged in Heechul's heart.

Leeteuk slowly shook his head to get his throughts straight before squaring his shoulders.

'You're so selfish Heechul-ah.' he blurted out, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.

It's been over 6 years and you're still not seeing straight. Why can't you just..damn it!

He yelled out aloud and left the room in a hurry instead lest he betray what he really wanted to finally say to him in that moment. 

The three of them stood in stunned silence before Kangin moved to face Heechul,hoping to get his undivided attention,knowing how easily the man's thoughts could splinter off in different directions. 

'Heechul hyung,I know of the shared history you two have, but.. Kangin sighed ,took a few minutes to calm his breathing before carrying on with his train of thought.

'What you guys shared,that's all in the past right? Done and dusted?'

Heechul started twirling a lock of hair in his hands absentmindedly hoping to evade the question at hand.

Unperturbed,Kangin pressed on.

'I saw how Leetuk hyung acted earlier and I feel that I have more questions rather then answers.'

'I..I'd rather not talk about thi