Brutal honesty
Im going to adapt some because I don't want to get a part time job. I finally cut down to 1 job the past couple years and I don't ever want to do retail ever again hopefully. I know I spoke about it before, but I'm actually feeling I might follow through with this lol! I'm going to do my best to make some stories more universal as well as finish Woohyun's story.
The stories most likely will be chopped out of the universe and made singular entities because the heart of DC is too aligned with Korean based social standards.
This isn't a masterbatory post. This is straight up tell me what didn't work, hey you had a plot hole there, or that was cheesy. Especially since I'm reworking/reimagining them. One thing for s sure is Marie is a bit of a Mary Sue. A bit overglamourized because she's a fantasy on steroids version of myself (Not egotistical, just was shaping a hidden spirit animal)
Also, eeeeerybody wanting a baby, which in hindsight it funny because I myself don't desire that. But yeah the Baby fever was on American Horror Story season 1 levels.
Also, Sunggyu and Marie had very little conflict amongst themselves. Blame that rose colored vision on my first love. Young dumb and full of , not anger. Also was the too much of a driving force? Like if the wasn't as graphic would the story be lackluster.
Give it to me straight because when I dug around a bit within the last year (editing) I found myself cringing more often than not. Especially with all the adjectives (and and and and) and lack of knowing how to diversify conveying trailing... Jesus Christ on Valentine's eve the "..." Make up a quarter of the text. Don't even get me started on the run ons and the no spaces between dialogue.
Also, I've been feeling creatively stifled because I tinker with excel spreadsheets/macros all day. Rant over, it's 1:50 AM and my insomnia induced need for criticism probably needs to go to sleep soon. Who am I kidding I'll probably be up till 4
Dead serious, no compliments just criticism
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