i kinda came up with these myself

kinda

Kris: I am an artist, but a misterunderstood artist.

Xiumin: What's misunderstood about you?

Kris: No one thinks I'm an artist.

Chanyeol: You have to start doing a better job at picking friends.

Baekhyun: Tell me about it! I picked you, didn't I?

Chanyeol: ... yes.

Suho: You hit us with your car!

Tao: You hit my car with your bodies

Suho: Can't come to work today, gotta take care of the baby

SM: the b AB Y????

Sehun: me

Suho: I'm quick at math.

Luhan: What's 38x76?

Suho: 24

Luhan: That's not even close-

Suho: But it was quick

Luhan: We're so in sync! We finish each other's s -

Xiumin: ????

Luhan: ssssssss ---

Xiumin: --ssssssomebody once told me -

Chanyeol: *points at Kyungsoo's black clothes*

Chanyeol: Hey, who's funeral is it?

Kyungsoo: I don't know.

Kyungsoo: I haven't decided yet.

Xiumin: Which country has the most birds?

Kris: Portu-geese

Kris: Wait -

Xiumin: That's a language

Kris: Portu-gull

Xiumin: Nice recovery.

Kris: You mean nice re-dove-ry?

Luhan: Turkey! How did you miss Turkey?

Sehun: I bought you these flowers because they remind me of you.

Tao: Aw thanks -

Sehun: They're cheap and fake.

Kyungsoo: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Kyungsoo: ...

Kyungsoo: Actually it's gonna bug me if I don't -

Xiumin: My dreams were shattered years ago.

Baekhyun: How many years ago?

Xiumin: When did I meet you again?

Chen: I expect nothing and I'm still let down.

Tao: Now, I must go rest my neck, it's sore from looking down on everyone.

Kai: I thought we were going somewhere romantic?

Chanyeol: Monster Trucks are romantic! 

Suho: You're going to hell.

Kyungsoo: *looks him up and down* 

Kyungsoo: I'm already in hell.

Satan: I can ruin your life.

Baekhyun: OH YEAH??? I CAN RUIN MY OWN LIFE!! JUST WATCH ME, YOU BASTARD

Tao: Still short, I see.

Chen: Still acting straight, I see.

Sehun: Hey, I'm going to McDonald's you want anything?

Luhan: I want my life back.

Sehun: Yeah, I got like twelve dollars so -

Lay: Jail is no fun.

Kai: You've been??

Lay: Yes.... once.... in Monopoly...

Suho: In life, you gotta make the little things count.

Chanyeol: What's 3+18?

Suho: 21, why?

Chanyeol: I made a little thing count -

Lay: Smiling is what I do when I'm not listening.

Suho: But you're always smiling!

Lay:

Lay: wut

Luhan: I can't believe you left Sehun at the bank, alone!

Kai: He'll be fine, he's an adult.

Luhan: That's just what he's called, doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing!

Xiumin: It is very important that I am both cute and powerful.

Baekhyun: We have a plan

Chen: We should point out, at this moment, it is a fairly terrible plan.

Chanyeol: Baekhyun? You awake? No, everything's fine I was just making an omelette and it kinda looks like Heechul. You gotta come check it out, dude, the door's unlocked just let yourself in when you get here.

Kris: Not to worry, I have a permit.

Suho: That just says "I do what I want"!

Suho: There are seven chairs and ten kids, what do you do?

Baekhyun: Have everyone stand.

Kai: Bring in more chairs.

Sehun: Only the important ones can sit down.

Kyungsoo: Kill three.

Luhan: [mockingly] I'm Sehun, I like girls in jello, don't fall in love, it's scary.

Sehun: It's terrifying! Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you.

Luhan: I'm not a psycho!

Sehun: I say I'm in love with you and all you hear is "psycho". You are the definition of neurotic.

this took so long cLAP FOR ME

ialsoaddedlikenochenoneswhOOPS