“I hate you guys.”

“You think I’m bursting with overwhelming love for you, snowidiot?”

“Shut it, you demonic nutcase.”

“Adele may set fire to the rain, but I’m going to burn you so hard, demented popsicle, until not a single atom of yours remain.”

“Yeah? Well I’m gonna go all Bad Blood TayTay on you and slap you all the way to the jungles in Africa.”

“HA! Like hell, you can.”

“Watch me. You think you’re so tall and mighty–”

“You midget.”

“SHUT UP!”

“YOU MENTIONED IT FIRST!”

“Do caterpillars eat cake?”

Wendy immediately spins around, a look of exasperation on her face, “No, Seulgi, they do not. Just leaves. They like leaves.”

Joy pipes up after, “Actually, do drown it in cake. It will end its misery sooner.”

Wendy nudges the tall girl hard in the side, “Yah, don’t be mean.”

“Mean? Do you have any idea what I went through because of that larva?”

But Seulgi is unfazed by the bickering duo, looking down at the caterpillar on her finger, “Leaves then.”

Pringles is alive.

By the miracle of the caterpillar Gods (if there are any), the little larva had conjured up some basic survival instinct which was to crawl to the safety of Joy’s arm, possibly deciding that in the last few seconds before Seulgi threw herself against the fence, Pringles believes its life is more of a priority than an overly determined psycho bear.

When Joy spotted the hairy creature on her arm, it took all of her restraint not to fling the horrible evil little thing into the water, the source of all madness for that day.

But Seulgi – sweet but delusional bear – saw the caterpillar safe on Joy’s arm, climbed out of the pool in one swift motion and stumbled over to Joy, eyes wide, arms wide, mouth wide and shrieking, “JOY, YOU SAVED PRINGLES!”

(Which surely confused all the curious little kids who were probably wondering what did that tall unnie with a huge caterpillar on her arm do to save the potato chips company…)

Nevertheless, it made a great Snapchat story for a lot of people.

Afterwards though, Joy did tell Wendy that her intention to throw the damn caterpillar into the pool was more of a hope to see whether Seulgi would cry and then she could add another crying Seulgi video into her gallery of which there are over 50 videos already.

Wendy, however, was still trying to wrap her head around the thought of Seulgi having a pet caterpillar. And that there was still a gaping hole in the fence where Seulgi had crashed through.

The fence in Bae JooJoo’s backyard, to be exact.

“I’m gonna die waiting,” Wendy sprawls dramatically on the floor of her room, hand on her heart, brain’s a mess. She really just wants to sleep for an eternity and never have to go to school tomorrow because it would mean seeing Bae JooJoo and Bae JooJoo might go all Mad JooJoo on her for the broken fence.

Of course, if Bae JooJoo actually contacts her at all before midnight tonight.

“I’m so terribly sorry.”

Wendy had said as she stood on the Baes’ porch yesterday, having kicked both Joy and Seulgi out of the house while muttering curses under her breath, “I-I’ll pay for the damages. I’m pretty sure my friends need their heads checked real soon.”

(The word caterpillar bounces off the inside of her skull over and over like a song stuck on a loop.)

If Wendy could, she would dig a hole in the ground where she stood and bury herself right there and then. Forget meeting Taylor Swift life goal. Scratch that. Her new wish would be to instant rewind everything that happened in the past few hours.

Why couldn’t she just deactivate life and create a new one – such was the case with all her social media accounts? You know, God, life would be so much simpler if you made everything equally.

“It’s fine,” Bae JooJoo smiled (she’s still smiling, all is not lost!), “From the looks of it, I think you just made my little cousin ten times cooler.”

(Wendy noticed. That mini Satan was coming up with all sorts of stories, with one being Seulgi and Joy were escaped inmates from a nearby asylum and the caterpillar was the key that unlocked their future.

10-year-olds and their imagination.)

Wendy eyed the Satanic Blue Turtle and wondered if the girl was simply pulling her leg when she said her was the best in Bae JooJoo’s eyes.

It made her so incredibly self-conscious of her posterior.

“Wendy?”

Wendy had immediately plastered a wide smile, hoping that Bae JooJoo had no idea what went through her mind at that moment, “Sorry, was just thinking. That’s, um, great! That, ya know, it made her cooler and all.”

Bae JooJoo scoffed, “Yeah, it would do wonders to her ego, for sure.” She then shook her head and took out her phone, before offering it to Wendy, “Anyway, give me your number and I’ll let you know by tomorrow how you can pay for the damages.”

The walk home was a complete blur. Wendy could hardly remember a single thing, whether or not she really did hug her mother and told her that milk and eggs were ready and that she had resolved, rather cheerfully, to skin her two best friends alive and rip their souls from their bodies bit by bit.

Mostly, she doesn’t remember a single because:

Bae JooJoo likes her buns and her milk and eggs are ready. Bae JooJoo had asked for her number. The Bae Joohyun, most popular girl in the school, epitome of walking perfection, had asked for her number.

(Well hello Cupid, it’s not April Fools’ yet so cut the out please–)

“You’re not seriously going to wait by the phone the whole day just for Joohyun-unnie?” Joy arches an eyebrow at the dazed girl.

Considering that if it weren’t for her best friends and their epic fail moment, Bae JooJoo might not have asked for Wendy’s number and so, Wendy is thankful for their stupidity. Which means Seulgi and Joy would live for now – provided senpai does call her by the end of the day.

“I can’t miss senpai’s call. Or voice recording. Or text. Or emoticon even.”

“Right, let me know if she sends the caterpillar emoticon because then it means she is possessed as well,” says Joy idly as she takes random photos of her two friends out of boredom.

“Shhhh, Pringles is sensitive.” Seulgi chides as the larva crawls on the floor, casting Joy a look of disapproval.

Joy narrows her eyes at Seulgi, “You want sensitive, how about I take that swatter in the kitchen and let you witness how wonderfully sensitive a caterpillar is when it goes splat–”

Wendy crinkles her nose in distaste, “Oh God, don’t splat the caterpillar in my room, Joy. Anyway, aren’t you its saviour?”

“Don’t remind me,” Joy snaps back, crossing her arms as she watches Seulgi cooing over the caterpillar, “After a good night’s sleep, I realised I really should have just tossed that little into the pool.”

“You’re taking this way too personally.”

“I missed my yoga class. This is personal.”

“Poor you.”

“I hate you, Seungwan.” Joy sighs wearily before proceeding to change the subject, “Please tell me more about the buns. You said her cousin told you Joohyun-unnie likes your ?”

“Yes. I’m the ‘Kryptonite with beautiful buns’,” Wendy clarifies, sitting up and rubbing the back of her neck, “That Satan also called me ‘Olaf’. How does she know that’s my nickname?”

“I don’t know but I’m liking Yeri already.”

“Joy, focus.”

“Girl, I hate to break it to you but you really do look like Olaf. Minus the carrot nose.”

“Okay. Fair enough. But what about my ? Is it really that special?” Wendy frowns, looking around at her .

Joy rolls her eyes, “I am not answering that because it means staring at your far longer than necessary between best friends.”

Wendy tries to protest, “But you do yoga to stare at other people’s butts–”

“With slight emphasis on other people. So, no. I am not going to judge the beauty of your Kryptonite .”

 

***

 

Wendy Son was tagged in Park Sooyoung Joy’s photo: “Look at this fish flopping around.”

 

Joohyun reads the caption and stares at the photo of Wendy. The girl is lying on a carpet in some odd mermaid pose, her hair all splayed out around her head.

She purses her lip. Conjures an image of Wendy actually flopping on the floor like a fish that escaped from a tank. Tries to erase the image. Stuck with the image for life.

She buries her face in her palms and groans.

“JooJoo-unnieee.”

Joohyun doesn’t even look up when she hears her room door opening, “Go away.”

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