Unexpected pt.1.
My life was hell but with you, I'm starting to know what heaven feels like.Hello again people! Back again with a new update. :D Please comment down below to let me know what you guys think about it, subscribe if the story is interesting, and upvote if the story deserves it (or if you want to) BTW, am I writing too much? Is it TL;DR? But, anyways see ya in the next update. Bye bye UwU
I'm still in debate with myself if I should tell Bogum about everything or not. I want to tell him everything and I know that he'll be furious and extremely disappointed in me, but on the other hand, I don't want to tell him; he looked so happy when I agreed to marry him ans so did everyone when they found out about it. Joy, Yeri, Suzy eventhough she's back to college. I had to call her to tell her about it and Jieun were so happy when they found about it, especially Jieun and Suzy. They both had wished me the best and hoped that I would be happy forever. I was thankful for their blessings and the others as well, but would I actually be happy to marry and spend the rest of my life with someone I don't love?
I want to take that thought back, I'm not sure if I would rather be with Bogum and have a boring life with him. A boring life, I can live with that since I'm nit of a person myself, but can I really live with the person I don't love as long as we both shall live? I've been comtemplating for nights and I've come to a conclusion that I do like Seulgi. I like him and I'm not taking my words back. Ever since that confrontation after the ball and even the time we spent on his boat, I've realized that my feelings toward are clear now and he could be feeling the same the feelings about me as well. Whenever he holds me, I feel all warm and secure. I feel all safe in his arms.
I like the way my hand feels in his and how perfect they fit each other. I like the way his lips feel against mine and the way I get lost in it. I like him, I really do and I should do something about the engagement. Bogum is such a sweetheart and any girl would be lucky to have him. I'm that lucky girl who is the love of his life, but I'm also going to be the stupid one for hurting his feelings. Also, letting a guy like Bogum go because of how I couldn't return his love and falling for someone who could return the same feelings. Though, that person might not even return my feelings, I don't like that thought. It's disturbing and I know that Seulgi does feel something towards me; his actions show it. But, he was a big jerk for not telling me that the woman who was his date at the ball was his own cousin. He made me angry and jealous for no reason.
Why couldn't I fall for the sweetheart I'm engaged to? Why do I have to fall for the jerk who teases me every chance he gets? Why? The heart is such a weird organ. It doesn't want the person who loves me whole-heartedly, but someone who may or may not return my feelings. I touch the ring on my finger, it's a beautiful ring of course, but I'm not the one who Bogum should give this to. He should give it to someone who deserves it and that person isn't me.
"Unnie, what are you thinking about?" Jieun brings me back to reality.
"Nothing in particular." I look down at the ring on my finger and slightly brushing it with my thumb.
"I'm very happy for you unnie, finally getting married to someone as great as Bogum. I'm kinda jealous of you unnie." Jieun laughs, while my laugh is dry.
"Then you should find someone now Jieun-ah, so that you wouldn't be jealous of me."
"Then in that case, I'm not jealous of you anymore unnie." She sticks her tongue out at me then runs back into the kitchen. "Come on grandma, the customers will enter soon and you don't want to be pressured by them as you know that your heart couldn't handle it." Jieun laughs loudly.
"Yah! How dare you insult me?" Jieun laughs even louder and I chuckle slightly at her silliness. I look down at the ring on my finger again, I really should do something about it. I can't someone I don't love. That's not the point of marriage. In marriage, two people should love each other, in order for it to work out. This one-sided love isn't going to work out, it's not right. I should something aout this matter before it goes beyond this.
I switch into my working side and go back to my station. I attend to every customer's needs, I'm grateful that my mind didn't wander around alot today. Compared to a few weeks ago, my thoughts were filled with Seulgi and how I should break it to Bogum. Even till now, I still haven't figured it out on how to tell Bogum. That's probably the number one thing that bothers me the most, ever since I and Seulgi kept doing things behind Bogum's back. This might be why I wouldn't go to heaven; cheating is a sin and unfortunately, I've already committed it. Never in my life would I ever thought of cheating on someone, I hate cheaters and I'm one of them. Now look at the mess I've caused, it isn't bad now. But later on, when everything is revealed, the damage would be like the aftermath of a powerful hurricane.
I can say that I'm a coward, a coward for not telling Bogum my wrong doing's. The saying 'you only live once' doesn't really apply to this. Yeah, you only live once, so do what you want and say what you want. But, if I say what I want and do what I want then I would have Bogum hating me for life. That is such a selfish thought. Call me selfish; that's not what I want, when he didn't do anything to deserve this. All he ever did was being the sweetest and the greatest guy I've met. Maybe the saying of 'nice guys finish last' is true as I have two guys who are interested in me. One being the definition of an angel and the other being a wealthy teasing jerk. It's really obvious that any woman would choose the good guy, however, there are some that would choose the jerk.
In expectation, I would choose the good guy, but in reality, I choose the jerk instead of someone who clearly loves me. What a weird person I am. I guess this is what the heart wants. Again, the heart is most definitely a weird organ. Jieun and I serve the last customer of the hour and after the customer left, my stomach started to gumble. A little too loud for only me to hear and that of course made Jieun laugh. Lunchtime went by fast and we both go back to our stations. Customers enter the cafe batch by batch and how grateful I am that they didn't rush us or else, I might panic and mess up the orders like the last time it happened. Ever since the proposal, Bogum has been more busier than before, going to construction sites or even to other provinces as well as other countries.
I don't have a problem with it of course. In a matter of fact, I'm very proud and happy for him to have this much success he's been working so hard for. But, sometimes I feel lonely since he was the person who would try as frequently as possible to keep me company. For the most part, Joy and Yeri would be the one who I usually hang out with and sometimes, Jieun would come along. Actually, Jieun is the only person whom I see everyday except for our days off. Nowadays, with Joy and Yeri so busy with work, we barely have the time to hang out with each other. Even Jieun barely has time to go out anywhere aside from the cafe, the only place beside the cafe she would go to is her parents house. She told me that her parents are currently not feeling well and she being the only child had to go back in order to take care of them. I admit that was sweet of her and what a good daughter she is. It'd be better nice if the four of us could go on a road trip or something like that, but we all have responsiblities to take care of.
Ever since that day Seulgi took
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