Remember there’s a quote saying “The first two years of marriage is the honeymoon phase, the next three years is the learning and knowing the role for each other throughout the process, the next five years is the crucial part when most people believe you don’t need to be sweet or romantic anymore with your partner and if the couple manages to walk through all of this years; believe it, the marriage will last till forever and infinitely.”

They have been through more than five years of marriage – even almost to their 10th year of marriage. But, the way their marriage work is nothing like most married couple in this world. Maybe there will be few but not many because their love story and the fate on how both of them ended up being husband and wife towards each other is completely different from most perfect love stories that you ever hear or read in your life.

Of course, when other married couples enjoying their first two years of marriage in a honeymoon phase; it was a different story for both of them. Instead of enjoying their honeymoon phase like they should be, the two of them much preferred to call the early years of their marriage as the ‘war’ phase.

Believe it, all they did not for just the first two years of marriage but more than three years of it, was fighting and arguing with each other. The weird thing was that it won’t be a day for both of them if they did not have any tongue fight with each other. At least, there would be even for once although it might be lasted only for few minutes. Mocking, cursing, sarcasm word and cynical smile; all of that were like a normal thing for the two people. Plus, they already familiar and fed up with the same routine playing in their life over and over.

Despite everything that they had been through before till the extent where one of them was almost giving up – then, came in the miracle in their life. The sun that glows in the dark, the rainbow that appears after the rain and the beautiful sight after the stormy situation.

It was hard. Indeed it really was. Because in marriage, there is no way of shortcut, no way to wish that everything will turn out to be smoothly because that just a liar. Nothing in this world is perfect. No matter how hard you try, you will never be a perfect. Screw the ‘practice makes perfect’ thing because in the end, there will always be a thing that you lack of, a thing that you never can do or the thing that far from possible for you to reach.

So does a marriage. A happy marriage is about three things; memories of togetherness, forgiveness of the mistakes and the promise to never give up on each other.

Yes, a perfect marriage might not be exist. But any marriage in this world is also not perfect after all.

Mino did not know why but tonight he felt like there’s something wrong – something uneasy; that feeling you feel when something bad going to come up your life. Since the moment he gone out from the bungalow early in the morning to attend his ice hockey practice, he could not help but to feel that kind of feeling.

What is it? He thought to himself as he parked his motorbike inside the garage, trying to figure out the uneasy feeling that been growing inside him since earlier. As if, he could put himself back to the moment where…

No. That’s ridiculous. Plus, whatever happened before was something that he did not expect to happen towards Irene and him. Even until today, Mino could not believe what had Seulgi and Jennie had done towards him and also his wife. What Seulgi and Jennie did was unforgettable and a painful and traumatic experience for both, Mino and Irene. Although it had been few years passed since the awful incident, both of them could still remember well of what they had been through for.

Not only Mino thought he might lost Irene due to her deep bleeding because been shot by Seulgi on that day, but also, both, Mino and Irene had to accept the fact that they lost their chance to have their first baby because of Irene’s injury caused by Seulgi and Jennie who violently abused her without knowing she was actually three months pregnant at that time.

Even though Mino did feel sad and devastated after hearing the news from the doctor that treated Irene about their loss of having their own child – still, the beastly figure man felt grateful to God for saving Irene’s life despite what had happened towards his wife. Seeing of what happened towards Irene at that time, Mino did not know why but the chance of losing his beloved wife might be high due to Irene’s bleeding. Irene was bleeding too much and the fact that her body condition was weak at that time made everything Mino thought might be true.

And now, having that kind of feeling again made the black hair man felt uneasy. Maybe he might just overthinking but whatever it is, Mino hoped that what he’s been feeling and thinking probably just his own assumption or nonsense instinct. Perhaps, he was tired after all the pack and hard training practices for today.

Glancing at the watch on his left wrist, Mino did not expect he might come home earlier today. It wasn’t that earlier though, only one hour from the time he usually arrives home. Still, he won’t be surprised if Irene and Yumi already asleep since it was already late and already half past one in the morning. And one more thing that playing in Mino’s mind probably the fact that he also won’t be surprise if he’s going to sleep alone again tonight.

It’s been a while after the first fight that Mino and Irene before and ever since that night, Irene already made up her mind to not sleep with him on the same bed also in the same room. Mino did not blame his wife though because he knew that Irene deserved to treat him like that after what he did to her and also everything that happened between them. He did try to persuaded his wife by apologizing towards Irene but it seem like this time, his wife did not let it go thing easily.

What make it worst, the fight that they both had did not just end there but instead, it become even bigger than before. Mino was surprised when he saw Irene at the café when he was meeting with Yewon. Judging at Irene’s expression at that time, he definitely knew that their problem getting even worst from before. And it did when that night Irene ended up crying so hard which threw Mino in a complete shock once again.

He wanted to stop the tears streaming down from his wife’s eyes and felt bad for making her crying but still, nothing seem to be working with them. Mino felt like if he tried to talk and explain, nothing would matter anymore because at that time, both, Irene and him were not in a stable emotion. Both of them were in their own way, one to the south and the other one to the north. Like Irene said, it felt like both of them seem so distant despite they are sharing everything together.

Deep inside, Mino knew that everything happening right now was his fault mainly. He realized that he was making a big mistake for letting this happen and keep it happening without trying to fix it. Sometimes, he felt useless and mostly guilty towards Irene for putting her in a hard situation right now. He knew Irene was hurting inside but still, he let her.

That’s why, he felt like a complete wreck. As if, he could let this thing continue to happen and not wanting to make it stop. Thinking for a moment and reviewing back of what he had done for the past months, the beastly figure could not help but to hate this ‘new’ character of him. Irene was right when she told him that he has changed. Everything that Irene said to him was right, she was absolutely right.

And how stupid of him to just let all of that passed by him like that.

Oh God, what I have done actually?

“Daddy, where’s mommy?”

Mino who was about to pour some mineral water into the glass stopped almost immediately, his body frozen on the spot as the question coming from his daughter tried to absorb in his mind. He knew that Yumi might ask this question but he did not realize that question would hit him right into his heart, making him felt even worst and guilty for what currently happening.

Yumi looked at her father, blinking her two round shaped eyes cutely as she waited for Mino to answer her question just now. The two of them were enjoying their breakfast where Mino made a chicken porridge and also some chocolate chip pancakes for his five years daughter, knowing that those two foods are few from Yumi’s favorite lists.

“Daddy…” Yumi called for Mino again, whining as she pouted in protest, unsatisfied with the ignore given by her father.

A small, quick smile pasted on Mino’s lip as he then walked closer towards Yumi, patting his daughter’s head softly. “Why don’t you finish your breakfast, sweetheart? It is not good to waste food, right? Don’t you want to be daddy’s good girl? Hmm?” Mino murmured gently, helping Yumi to cut the pancake in her plate into small portion, so that she could eat easily.

“Mommy is not here, sweetheart. She has something to do.” Mino added more after few minutes passed, his voice was low almost like a whisper when he said all of that.

The little five years old girl glanced at Mino, a small frown appeared on her face. “Why she’s not here? Mommy always here with me when we’re having weekend. She always make this delicious toast for me, daddy. I love mommy’s cooking! Mommy also make me a chocolate vanilla hot cup. I also like that.” Yumi stated cheerfully, flashing her bright smile towards Mino then.

A wash of guilt covered inside him when he saw the happy expression on his daughter’s face. God, seriously, what did I do? I just make a terrible damn mistake. Mino silently thought in his mind as a sigh came out from his mouth. “Are you okay, daddy?” Yumi asked Mino, touching the side of his face as a cheeky smile crept on her lip; almost the same lip just like Irene.

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Have you finish?” Mino asked then, not wanting to worry his daughter with his current situation. He did not want Yumi to detect what actually happening between Irene and him at this moment. Yumi nodded her head, carefully sipping her drink which also Mino made it for her for this morning.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” Mino answered without looking at his daughter, washing the plates that both of them used for the breakfast before. “Why you're not going out today?” Mino could not help but to smile at Yumi’s question. He won’t be surprised if his daughter asked him that kind of question because for the past few months, Mino noticed he rarely have time to join Irene and Yumi for breakfast. Even dinner time also, he could not help but to skip over it and end up being home late at night due to his training and practices. Remembering about that made him felt how distance he was with his family lately. 

The beastly figure man turned to face his daughter who was still looking at him with that pure pair of eyes. “Why? You don’t want daddy to be with you today?” he asked, teasing Yumi as he playfully tapped her small, cute nose with his index finger which made the five years old girl giggled then.

“I have a suggestion. How about if we go out today? How’s that sound?”

Yumi’s pair of eyes lit up, staring at Mino with excited feeling. “Really, daddy?! Yeay! We’re going out today! But, what about mommy? I want mommy to come with us too.” Mino pressed his lip together, half smiling at his daughter the time when he opened his mouth to speak. “Sweetheart, mommy is gone for a while, okay? I’ll promise you that she will be back soon.” he carefully explained towards Yumi, hoping that the little girl would understand and not knowing the fact that he actually lying towards her.

Please forgive, daddy, Yumi. This is all daddy’s fault. Mino hummed towards himself, regretting now for everything that already happened.

Honestly, he did not know whether he deserved to feel this regret or not. What he did not just towards his daughter, Yumi but mostly towards Irene seem like unforgivable. He really is such a pain in the for this time and even after knowing how terrible he acted towards Irene, it really is too late for that.

Because Irene already gone; leaving Yumi and him behind out of blue.

I’m sorry for doing this. You know why I did.
Don’t look for me and don’t worry about me.
I’ll be fine.
Please take a good care of Yumi while I’m gone.
-Joohyun-

No matter how many time he read the note that Irene left behind for him, Mino still could not believe it. He just could not believe that it really is happening. That his wife now gone and leaving him because of himself. It’s been more than four days already since Irene had left him and also Yumi. And Mino knew too well the reason why, he did not have to think or guess about it.

Irene was right. All of this because of him. All of this started from him. And all of this won’t happened if it wasn’t because of him. God, what the hell he was thinking before? Keeping those things from wife and thought it was the best but he was mistaken after all? Seriously, didn’t he learn enough before? For all those times that Irene and him had been through more than five years, isn’t there anything that he learned from that? About how important is to communicate with each other? How important to trust each other? How essential to share everything with the partner of your life?

God, why he always been like this? Thinking that he could control and solve everything by himself without having to tell towards Irene what it is. Why he always think that by keeping his problem all by himself would make it better? Why not share it with his wife who always there for him no matter what?

!

He’s the one who told Irene that he will try his best to make their marriage much better than before, not wanting to repeat the same mistake like he did before but, look what he had done now. Seriously, Mino, get your together. Don’t you realize that you really are a coward? A person who broke his own promise that he made to his wife? Your own wife is hurting because of your goddamn self, you piece of !

And now, after Irene had gone, Mino felt as if he’s on the edge of insane.

Not just him but Yumi was also affected by the sudden missing of Irene’s presence. Their daughter had been upsetting lately, missing her mother for suddenly disappeared without any trace at all. Even Mino also did not know what to do. Yumi even cried on night because she told him how she missed Irene to read her story before she goes to bed. Or how Irene cooks her favorite food for her breakfast every day.

“Daddy, where is mommy? Why she’s not coming home? I want her, daddy. I miss mommy.” Yumi told Mino that one time, crying on her father’s chest in a loud cry when she asked for her beloved mother. There was also one moment when Yumi was throwing her tantrum, threatening Mino to not eat despite of how many times Mino had tried to persuade her in doing that. “I don’t want to eat unless mommy feeds me! I want mommy, daddy!”

Mino could not help but to feel guilty, regret, and most of all, blaming himself for everything that happening now. It’s too late already for him to realize what he actually have done for the past few months. How stupid he was to think that he could let the thing that he been hiding from Irene smoothly.

What was he actually thinking though?

Did he really think by keeping everything to himself would make other things better? No, it didn’t. Instead of that, more problems came into his life and now, Mino did not know or have any clue what to do at the moment. He did not have any idea how to find Irene no matter how many ways and hard he already tried. He called her, texted her and everything to keep in touch with his wife but every time he did, all of that went straight to voicemail.

God, Joohyun, where are you, baby? I’m totally worried about you now.

The beastly figure man tried to ask Jinah, Irene’s best friend who might probably where Irene is but he got nothing. Plus, Jinah also did not know about Irene disappearance, thinking that the golden hair woman probably went for a seminar or something related to her work. Jinah did ask Mino about Irene, worried at first something bad