I looked across the cafeteria, hoping none of the girls followed my line of sight. Baekhyun looked so much happier than he ever had when he was with me. When he smiled, his entire face just lit up. In my head, I imagined his voice, his laughter, the sweet, honey-like tone almost filling my ears. He sat beside Chanyeol, looking up at him with adoration in his eyes and a dopey, loving smile plastered on his face. He didn’t seem to be listening to the conversation the rest of the football players were having; he was only interested in Chanyeol. I saw Chanyeol look down to find Baekhyun already looking at him, making his ears tinge red. He smiled back and leaned down to rest his forehead against Baekhyun’s. I looked away, feeling my throat get tight.

Even in a public place, like the cafeteria of our high school, they were still in their own world. When you have no one to be afraid of, no reputation to care about, it was easy to love whoever you wanted.

"So they're officially together now? This isn't a joke?" Tiffany asked, looking at me when I turned away from the football team’s table.

I just nodded and looked away from her. The subject was still a sore spot for me, but I couldn't let them see just how much I cared. It's one thing to miss a guy who's with some other girl now, but Baekhyun left me for Chanyeol.

"That's awful. I'm sorry, Taeyeon." Yoona.

"It's fine. I'm fine." I said, swatting away their consolations. Nothing anyone says could make me feel any better.

“You know, Tae, it’s alright if you’re not fine.” Sunny.

“I don’t care about them.” I snapped, grabbing my earbuds out of my purse and sticking them in my ears. I plugged them into my phone but I didn’t start any music. This has always been my tactic when I want to know what my friends really think. If they don’t think I can hear them, they’ll say all the things they can’t say to my face.

It took a minute for the words to start flowing, but once they got going, I knew they wouldn’t disappoint.

“Tiffany, you know Taeyeon the best; does she really not care?” Hyoyeon asked, glancing back at where my ex-boyfriend was sitting, staring into the eyes of his new boyfriend. She cocked her head to the side, probably wondering how they came to be.

“I think her pride’s just wounded.” Tiffany replied, after thinking about it for a minute. She’d been studying me, trying to decide if I could hear them or not. When she was sure she was safe, she answered the question.

“I hope she doesn’t think she turned Baekhyun away from girls.” Yuri said, her eyes wide. “If anyone could make a guy swing the other way, it’s not Taeyeon.”

“Then why are they together?” Sooyoung asked, her face looking a bit disgusted. “They’ve been friends their whole lives. When did it change and how?”

“I wonder when it started. Didn’t Baekhyun date Hwasa for a while before Taeyeon?” Seohyun said, smirking. “I bet it was Hwasa that turned him.”

Everyone laughed at the dig at Hwasa, someone we would never associate ourselves with. The things they were saying were so insensitive and mean, the same kind of things I would’ve said before this had happened. It’s not that they had any particular problem with two guys being together, but it was Baekhyun and Chanyeol, two boys we’d all known for as long as we could remember. None of us could have predicted they would become more than friends.

The girls were only acting the way I’d taught them to, so I felt responsible. I was angry at myself, suddenly, not at them or at Baekhyun. Up until this point I’d believed Baekhyun was in the wrong, making me look like a fool when we only lasted a little more than a month. Now it’s my fault people are shunning him and Chanyeol like they killed someone.

So I blew my cover, letting them know I’d been listening. When I suddenly started talking, having heard the entire conversation, they were startled. “Could you stop talking about them like they’re nasty or something?” I calmly took the earbuds out of my ears while they looked at me like I’d grown a second head.

“Taeyeon, you heard us?” Yoona asked, looking scared. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn’t because I’d trained them to be afraid of me.

“Yeah, I did. I don’t really appreciate the sideways glances you’re giving them or the way you’re talking about ‘turning’ Baekhyun. You’re being rude and what you’re saying is just wrong.”

All seven of them looked like I’d slapped them.

“Tae, we didn’t know you felt that way.” Seohyun said, looking sincere. She was the only person who might understand how I felt, but she could also feel quite the opposite. Before he was with Baekhyun, Chanyeol had been fooling around with Seohyun, letting her think they might actually work out.

“Just stop talking about it.” I said, taking another bite of my veggie wrap in a way that told them the topic needed to change.

I looked at Baekhyun again, still feeling the bitterness that came with a breakup, but I felt better. I was sure none of the girls would continue acting like both of them had some sort of disease. Even though I know he’ll never want me the way I’d like for him to, I still think Baekhyun is beautiful.