With All My Heart
Sweet KissesIt was well after dark when So finally returned. Soo felt him approach and wrap her in a blanket. She appreciated it, both for the warmth and for the bit of privacy it gave her as she pulled it higher up to cover her face so that only her eyes could be seen.
"Work?" she asked softly, referring to the phone call he'd just received.
He grunted his affirmation and sat down beside her. "More trouble. They want me to drop by tomorrow."
She allowed her short hair to flow down and cover her face. "What time are you leaving?"
He looked at her in surprise. "I'm not going anywhere. I gave them advice then told them to fix their own damn problems and to leave me in peace for a few days." He sighed, and she suddenly realized how stressed he sounded. "My idiot uncle always manages to mess up when I'm not around. They can't expect me to clean up after him forever."
"Oh, okay," she mumbled, not sure if she was happy or not. She hugged her knees to her body and waited. He had more to say, she could tell.
"Soo-yah... we need to talk," he said at last.
Soo closed her eyes and withdrew deeper into her blanket. "Hm?"
"You can't avoid me forever."
She wanted to point out that it had been he who had been avoiding her, but she felt too weak, too depressed to argue.
"Soo-yah-"
"It's okay," she forced herself to say. She didn't need to hear any more. She didn't want to. "I understand. You don't need to say anything else."
She got up and made to get back inside, but he grabbed her arm and held her in place.
"I don't think you do understand," he said. "If you did... you wouldn't be doing this now. You wouldn't be pushing me away."
"Who's pushing who?" she mumbled, choked by her tears. "It's you who's been avoiding me."
"Because I thought you were angry."
"Of course I'm angry!" she yelled, all the hurt and frustration she'd felt over the past two months spilling out of her. "You betrayed me! I loved you! I trusted you!"
"I'm sorry," he said, trying his best not to reach out to her, knowing further physical contact between them was unwelcome. In all the years they'd known each other, he's never seen her cry like this. And it was his fault. All his fault.
His apology was not what she wanted to hear from him. She wanted to hear him say it was all wrong... that she'd heard wrong... that none of it had happened. She wanted him to take away the profound pain and betrayal she had been feeling since that day.
"Why her?" she sobbed, thumping his chest weakly with her fist. "Why did you do it? How could you do this to me?"
He let her hit him. "I thought she was you."
She shook her head and stepped away. "Nevermind, I don't want to hear it. I don't need excuses. You don't need to lie to me."
"Soo-yah, I'm not lying," he said, desperately trying to make her stay. "I really thought she was you."
"I'm carrying his child. If you have any decency left in you, leave him now. You were never meant to be anyway."
"Please," she pleaded through her tears, "I can't take it anymore. Please... if you're going to leave me, just go."
He looked at her in surprise. "Leave you? Soo-yah... I'm not leaving you. I would never- What makes you think..." A thought suddenly hit him, making his blood run cold. "Who have you been talking to? What did they say?"
"It doesn't matter what they said because they were right... I have nothing to offer you. Thinking about it now, I don't even know why you asked me to marry you. Your world is different from mine. I'll never fit in, I'll never-"
"You belong with me... that's all you need to remember. That's all that matters."
She shook her head, endless tears spilling onto her cheeks.
"Soo-yah..."
"You belong to her. I see that now. You were never really mine."
"I have always been yours," he said fiercely. He had no idea these were her real feelings. How could he have allowed such thoughts to remain with her for so long? It was no wonder she had barely spoken to him. "Always. Is it Yeonhwa? Has she been speaking to you?"
When she made no reply, he knew he had guessed right. Anger surged through him at the thought of that woman threatening and lying to Soo.
"Soo-yah... there is nothing left between me and Yeonhwa."
"I saw the pictures." She closed her eyes at the memory. She had felt cold then; she felt cold now. "I saw you kissing her. I saw you get into a room with her."
This was his first time hearing about those pictures. If they existed, that meant he had been set up. Surely, Soo could see that?
But then the fact remained that he had kissed Yeonhwa. He had gotten into a room with her. Only...
"Nothing happened."
Soo sighed. There was nothing more she wanted than to believe him. But how could she?
"It very nearly did," he said honestly, cupping her face in his hand and wiping her tears away. "I won't lie to you. She had on your perfume... her skin, her hair... everything reminded me of you. I missed you. I hadn't seen you in weeks because of work and the alcohol made me miss you more. When I thought you had come to meet me at the party, I dropped all my defenses and followed my senses. I wanted to believe she was you. I was wrong. Soo-yah... I was wrong. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you."
"She's pregnant," she said at last, the bitter words making her hairs stand on end. "She told me so herself."
It took a moment for him to recover from his shock. "Pregnant?"
"And she claims it's yours."
He was going to kill that woman. He could barely contain his anger. "She lied."
Soo sighed in defeat. "Why would she lie about something like that? Does that make any sense?"
"I don't know what goes through that crazy woman's head, but you have to believe me... things never got that far between us."
It hurt to see the doubt in her eyes. "I made a mistake that night... I would never knowingly lie to you now if it meant hurting you even more. Soo-yah... do you really not trust me anymore?"
She sniffed and looked away. "I don't know," she said, her voice hoarse from crying, "I don't know if I trust you."
I want to. I wish we could go back to how things were. I can't do this on my own.
"What can I do to make things right again?"
She wiped her eyes on the corner of her blanket. "I don't know."
Don't say that. Welcome or not, he drew her into his arms. "I'll take a test to prove it isn't mine. I'll make her confess the truth. Until then, will you give me the benefit of the doubt?"
I want to believe you.
"I need to know something..." she whispered quietly, "will you answer me this?"
Anything.
"Do you... still love me?" she looked into his eyes properly for the first time in weeks.
He never blinked, never faltered, never hesitated. "With all my heart."
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