"I remember the first time I saw you..." – Anonyomous

Everyone was staring.

“Bro, fresh meat.”

“Who’s the ?”

“What is she wearing?”

“Look another ‘Athena’ girl.”

The walk of shame was long and unpleasant.

Her shoes squeaked accompanying the growing murmurs. The main auditorium was colossal in size. The seniors barely occupied fifty percent of the space. Meaning the end of the line was substantially at the front.

Four long lines spread across the hall. Each one was coated boldly on the surface indicating four primary colours of red, blue, yellow and green. The lines were gender orientated and alternating. It started from the left with the red line consisting of boys, blue line with the girls, yellow with the boys and finally the green line with the girls. 

Wendy Son didn’t have to blink to witness the amount of animosity she had garnered. Never had she drew such unspeakable attention to herself. She didn’t like attention. She didn’t want attention. She wasn’t your typical attention seeking girl of rowdy banter. If it was anything, she was someone that wished upon being seen and not heard. Not even seen. Just someone in the background. A stranger. Quiet and unassuming. Walking by.

Invisible.

That was who she was. Who she had been these past four years. However a certain number in this very room could attest otherwise. The only people that could see her for who she was, who she truly was, still remained in this world. Because the eleven faces were still here. Within this school. In this precise moment. As long as they were here… it didn’t matter. None of this.

Where are you guys.

Wendy joined the throng of girls in the middle. It was the blue line. Girls twisted and turned, shooting daggers in her direction.

“—so as I was saying, extension classes will commence from the beginning of next week for those wishing to thoroughly invest in the upcoming examinations. Unless you want to wake up on the wrong side of the bed as demonstrated by our newest arrival here—”

A burst of snickers reverberated as everyone redirected their focus on Wendy.

“—although our latest student appears to be a complete oxymoron. An honour student hailed from the west with an average consisting of high distinctions only.”

A resounding hush punctuated the sudden stillness of the hall. As if thunder had cracked upon an innocent tree that was once tall and mighty. Wendy was rooted to the spot hardly believing the words that were currently magnified, airing her business.

“—Yes, quite deceiving if we’re judging from tardiness alone. Let’s hope we can bear the good fruit from today’s example. And I mean the results! Your academic results! Last exams were highly disappointing—”

He had no right. Absolutely no right to take and use part of her like that. To misunderstand and make light of the situation, taking her out of context. Detention would have settled nicely. She was willing to pay for her mishap this morning. But not like this. Why had they closed the door then? If teachers did not want to be rudely interrupted that was. They should have had the decency to leave it open for those caught up in affairs beyond their control.

Humiliation and anger battled for the top spot as Wendy continued observing the ground, desperately trying to block out pointed fingers and condescending tongues of those around her. It was endless. The sting in her cheek. The flush down her neck. The heat around her eyes. It was too much.

“At least know your place.”

A shadow loomed over her. It was a mistake but she did it anyway.

Wendy raised her head.

Bae Joohyun and Kim Yerim took up positions on either side of her hands hitched to their waists.

It was like a film before her. Like reading a book. Or watching a concert. As if you were physically there but not at the same time. That feeling of experiencing something second hand even though it was right in front of your face. She had always pondered why that was the case. When deep down she knew.

Good things come and go.

It was as if one purposely created a false illusion so that expectations they had wouldn’t come crashing down with the face of disappointment. Because that was the worst feeling. Looking forward to something so much you paradoxically fell before you rose. Because life was never a straight line.

Should she have cried?

For finally being able to see her friends? Or the fact such derogatory comments slipped from their mouth? How would you have reacted. With kindness? With forgiveness? With unspoken tears?

Both of them looked different. Changed. Like an apple unexpectedly turning sour. In four years they had conformed into something she had resisted.

“This is the House of Artemis.”

“Not even a plethora of transformations would you be able to stand in this line.”

Joohyun and Yerim spoke without a trace of expression. As if all the colour in their world had been drained. Wendy knew. Even if they had not opened their mouth. She knew time had displaced them. She had wanted to believe otherwise.

Truth or denial.

Which hurt less?

It couldn’t all be a coincidence. This change. This lapse of memory.

“Your line is over there.”

“Run along now.”

She could hear other girls ing. Eyeing her up and down. Wendy watched as Yerim made a show of whispering to Joohyun. “God she’s so pathetic.”

Out of nowhere a torrent of memories toppled one after each other. 

***

“Wannie, sleepover this weekend or this friendship’s over.”

“Wannie, you’re actually so smart! Now let me copy your homework.”

“Wannie, you need to bake twenty-four macarons. One for everyone and twelve for me!”

“Wannie, get the permanent marker! Only you can turn Seokjin into a pig with this face.”

“Wannie, Jimin stole your last piece of dumpling. Let me squash his face for you, since that was actually mine.”

“Wannie, Tae broke your favourite pen. Joonie broke your other one. By the way I broke one too.”

“Wannie, Hobi is such a cow for making you do the dishes. But have fun anyway!”

“Wannie, whoever is mean to you, call me! They’ll have to get through Kookie first. Then Yoongi. Then Tae. Then Chim. Then Hobi. Then Seokjin. Then Joonie. Then me.”

“Wannie, you can’t be serious leaving us for U.S.K? The Great America? The States of Britain? I mean the United States of America?!”

“Wannie, I’ll miss you. We’ll miss you. Talk everyday yeah?”

***

Wendy blinked. She tried to move. To turn away. But it was hard. It was hard turning your back against people… you had once cherished more than yourself.

Kim Taehyung.

Jung Hoseok.

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