I breathe in and out, trying to catch my breath.

Being an idol is not easy. Oh no, not at all. The constant practice, the schedules, the performing, the rules, the diets, so many things. If you ask me though, there is one particular part of this life that I find quite difficult.

The dating ban.

Yes, you heard right. I'm not allowed to date anyone, for a while. Now that's not an inconvience most of the time until you do meet someone who makes your cheeks red and your heart pound. It just so happens that yes, at this time, it's an inconvenience.

All because of Yukhei Wong.

Also popular known as Lucas, he is one of the boys in SM Entertainment that makes hearts swoon. His big, shiny smile, his soft light hair, his deep eyes, honestly I could go on. He has the reputation of a player, of a bad boy. From what I've seen, he's not so much a player but he does dabble in the bad boy reputation a bit (which makes me swoon even more, can't lie.) But admitting this crush? Doing anything about it to further the relationship I'd dream of? A huge, huge, huge no.

Something about him though, makes me feel like I'd close my eyes to the expectations and rules while opening my heart to the wants and hopes-

"ELLA!" I snap myself out of my thoughts while also successfully snapping my head towards my group leader, Kyungmi. "You've been zoning out a lot today. What's up? Is everything okay?" She says worriedly with a side of sterness. Kyungmi can be stern and firm, but she's also caring and does her best to help out us members. An amazing and true example of a good group leader. I nod quickly, "I'm fine! Sorry, just got a lot on my mind. Debut is only a week away so I'm feeling nervous." 

Gayoung comes up to me and throws her right arm around my shoulders, it being easy to do since I'm the shortest in the group and she's the tallest besides Seulbi. She smiles brightly at me, "Don't worry our dear maknae, it's gonna be great! Besides, we all have each other's backs and we were lucky to have a lot of creative decision in our debut." I smile up at her, thankful for the reminder, "You're right. I just need to take some deep breaths."

"Go ahead and take a couple breaths because NCT is coming our way with Lucas in the very front," Jingzhi winks at me. Kyungmi g