Chapter 9: 

I am jealous... I like you 

I don’t know why but I really wanted to punch Song Mino right now. No, no. I know why I wanted to punch him right now. I can see everyone smiling and giggling. The loud giggling is so irritating me. It’s giving me a bitter taste of something in my mouth. It felt like they are so happy seeing Mino doing that to Sandara. To my Sandara. 

“What the actual fck are you doing, Song Mino?” 

“S-Sunbae!” 

Fcking ! I growled. Well, I can’t say it out loud. Maybe, I don’t have any rights to say it to him. Not now. 

I’ve never been this angry before. I never got angry like this when my classmate ruined my plate before. I never got angry like this when I failed in the test while I’m still in high school. This is the very first time I got angry to this extent. My body is shaking like hell and I am trying my best not to lift my free hand and land a punch on Minos’ face. 

“J-Jiyong!” Sandara said while grabbing my arm who’s holding Mino’s arm tightly. Any minute now, I might tear his arm apart. “S-Stop it!” 

“Tell me what are you doing?!” I growled. 

I heard everyone gasped. I don’t care if words will spread about me. I don’t fcking care! All I want to do is punch Song Minos’ face and break a bone or two. I saw his eye widened. Yes, . You better be afraid of me for holding Sandara like you own her. 

“W-Wait. S-Sunbae…” he said while shaking. “W-We…are just d-demonstrating the d-dares f-for… for the Student Council booth. T-There’s nothing going on.” 

“Jiyong!” 

I blinked my eyes and immediately loosened my grip in Minos’ arm. He immediately run away from me looking so scared. I saw he’s being assessed by Sandara. 

What…did he just said? Demonstrating? Dare? Student Council Booth? What the heck did I just do! 

“Are you alright?” Sandara asked, totally concerned. She’s holding his arm, the mark of my tight grip is visibly red.  

“I…I am fine, sunbae.” He said, still shaking. “I’m sorry, Jiyong s-sunbae. This is just a misunderstanding.” 

“I-I’m sorry too…”

I lowered my head. I acted out of impulse. My blood boiled seeing how close they are, how casually Minos’ hands rested on Sandaras arm and how everyone laughed as if they are seeing a beautiful sight. I know what this feeling is. I know and it’s not as good as it sounds. 

“What the heck is wrong with you? Cussing here and hurting Mino!” Sandara shouted. I can feel the tension in the air. She is scary. If looks could kill, I was a minute dead by now. The whole room went silent. No one dared to make a single noise. 

“I’m sorry… it’s…it’s just….”

She didn’t bother to listen. She look at everyone and sighed. “I’m sorry. Meeting adjourn. Let’s finalise everything tomorrow.” 

“Y-Yes, President.” 

They silently fixed their things and hurriedly left. They were bowing their head as they exit the room. I murmured my sorry, I don’t know if they heard me. 

Sandara and I were now alone inside the Student Council room. The only noise we can hear is the noise coming from the AC. The silence is never comforting especially seeing how serious Sandara is looking at me. 

“What the actual fck Jiyong? What did you do!” Sandara shouted while walking towards me. Her eyes were staring straight to my eye and somehow, I trembled. I can feel the intensity of her words. I know she’s very mad at me. 

“I’m s-sorry..” I said in a low tone. I tried to reach for Sandara’s arm but he forcibly shook my arm reaching her. 

“You scared everyone! Everyone!”

“I am just acting…out of impulse. .” I placed both of my hand on my face. Fck. Fck. Fcking ! 

“Out of impulse?” She exasperatedly asked. “You can’t do that to other people! If you are short-tempered, learn to control it!”

“That’s why I am saying I am sorry!” I shouted back. Fcking . I closed my eyes. I need to calm down. I fcking need to calm dow. This is not the right time to meet Sandara’s anger. I am the one who’s wrong. I acted out of impulse. I let my emotions take over me. 

“And I am not accepting your sorry!” 

Sandara started walking away from me and fixed her table. I got nervous. I don’t like this. No, no. I need to make peace with her. Right here, right now. We shouldn’t leave this fcking room if she’s still angry at me. 

“Sandara…”

“Don’t…don’t talk to me….” 

“Come on, I’m sorry.” I said. I was standing behind her, trying to corner her in her table. “It’s just that…I got irritated.” 

“If you’ve got a bad mood, don’t ever burst it to someone else. Now, look what you did. You didn’t just hurt Mino, you also stopped the meeting and ruined the schedule!” She blurted out, nose flaring with too much anger. 

A part of me is scared but a big part of me is amused: amused of how beautiful she is even if she’s mad. And, this is insane! I shouldn’t be thinking about that right now. 

“I’m sorry. I will never do it again.” 

“You know what, just…just go home, okay? I am…so angry right now, Ji.” 

I gulped the lump on my throat. Oh, no. No, no. “S-Sandara…”

“Not now, please…”

I sighed heavily. I don’t know if I should say it. This is not the right time. I shouldn’t say it but…

“I am fcking jealous…” I mumbled. 

“J-Jealous?” Sandara asked. She’s giving me again those kind of look. Disgusted. Shocked. There’s a lot of emotions I can see in her eyes that I don’t want to acknowledge. It’s giving me a feeling of painful grip in my chest. 

“Yes! Fck! Sandara, we are not kids anymore and I know you are not that dense. It’s not…lately, I am seeing you in a different way.” I said, bravely. There’s no turning back. “I am seeing the you that I didn’t see for the past few years. I am seeing you, more than just a academic monster or a beautiful face. Sandara…” 

“Yeah, we are not kids anymore, Ji.” She cut. “And what you did earlier made everyone realise that you’re an and immature. And for a record, you don’t have any rights to be jealous.” 

“What the fck?” I growled. I looked at her. “W-What?” 

“You can’t be jealous, Jiyong.”

“And why?” I asked, trying to fish for an answer that I know will hurt me. “Tell me, Sandara. Why? Why I can’t be jealous? Are you dating someone right now?Tell me.”

“No, you should stop that stupid feeling. t’s not right, dude.” She sarcastically said, blurting out a soft laugh.  

I held her arm tightly. I don’t know why I am so mad right now. Is it because of Song Mino? Is it the hurtful words she’s saying? Or is it the fact that she won’t like me? That she won’t reciprocate these feelings? Fck! 

“Stupid…feelings?”

“Y-Yes.” 

“Can you hear yourself now, Sandara?” 

“Yes.” She bravely said while looking at me in the eyes. “Look at you. With those stupid feelings you…you are acting weird. This is not you.” 

“I like you, damn it!”

“I’m sorry but I don’t. And I won’t like you.” 

“Why?” Stupid. Why am I so ready to hurt myself with her words? “How can you say that you don’t like me?”

“You are a playboy…”

“I can change! Fck, is that it? Because I am an before?”

She shook her head. “It’s not just that. Jiyong, you are my rival.” 

“Fck that rival schemes you are saying!”

“I can’t like the person I hate.” 

I laughed. What the…she’s just beyond explaination! ”You know what, maybe we should talk tomorrow. Yeah, let’s just go home and cool-down, okay?” 

“We don’t have anything to talk about, Kwon Jiyong.” 

What the fck is wrong with you, Sandara?