It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. As he opened his eyes, he took in a deep breath noticing that the destination was still far away from his reach. Jeongguk didn’t mind it much; there was enough comfort on the travel-bus’s scarlet-red seats and enough space around considering the lack of passengers.  

He looked around, checking if the people he saw before were still there. Six passengers only, besides himself, were scattered around on that bus. It was probably was low-season time. Jeongguk  absent-mindedly wandered his eyes over the guy who was sitting right across the corridor on the seats near his own. An attractive brown-haired man was there, his legs sprawled around as he observed the world outside his window. That’s until that same man noticed a heavy gaze towards himself, turning his head around to meet Jeongguk’s thoughtful and sleepy eyes. A boxy smile was formed by that him and Jeongguk’s heart felt something weird. He swore he had met that person before in his life. Jeongguk answered his smile with a shy smile of his own before tilting his head towards his side’s window, also observing the world outside. He had never been to that side of the country before, yet everything seemed so familiar like he’s been there already. It was a funny feeling.  

Nobody in that bus seemed to know each other. Everyone was completely quiet and away, minding their own business as if they were all thinking something beyond reality. It made Jeongguk somewhat uneasy. He really didn’t know why. He wasn’t much of an extravert person himself, but he still enjoyed seeing people be nice to each other and have a good conversation.  

As his thoughts got lost in his head, time was already lost; like in any other bus or car trip out there. Jeongguk just mimicked that other man’s action and stared off in the distance like there was too much yet nothing inside his head at the same time. He knows he’s seen that man somewhere else. Before a conclusion could be drawn from its mystery, the bus was suddenly shaking too much, similar to what a toy must feel when a child shakes its toy-box whilst the toy is still inside. As a loud bang could be heard, Jeongguk was thrown out of his seat as he felt gravity work its magic down the cliff into the cold unknown abyss. 

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. As he opened his eyes, he took in a deep breath noticing that the destination was still far away from his reach. Jeongguk felt incredibly disturbed; although there was enough comfort on the travel-bus’s scarlet-red seats and enough space around considering the lack of passengers.  

As he looked around, he noticed the man who he met before on the bus; Taehyung was his name as Jeongguk remembered. They didn’t talk much beside a casual presentation before each went to their own seat, which happened to be right across the corridor from one another. Taehyung was looking outside until he met Jeongguk’s curious gaze, offering him a boxy beautiful smile. It felt weird to be there, looking at that man at that exact point in time. Something was wrong, but Jeongguk couldn’t quite tell what. 

Everyone in the bus seemed to be a little distant from one another, give or take a few respectful and curious conversations about trivial stuff like the weather or the amount of time they had left until their destination. Although the chit-chat was warm and polite, it was unsettling for some unknown reason at the same time. 

Before his thoughts could be cleared out of his head, Jeongguk soon heard a loud bang damaging his eardrums and a horrible falling sensation taking him over with a large amount of idle pain, as everything went away. 

I’m so sorry.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. As he opened his eyes, he took in a deep breath noticing that the destination was still far away from his reach. Jeongguk felt awful the moment he woke up, although there was enough comfort on the travel-bus’s scarlet-red seats and enough space around considering the lack of passengers.  

Taehyung was there right next to him, looking outside the window of the opposite side of the bus. He was his friend for a long time, although, Jeongguk couldn’t really tell from where now that he stopped to ponder about it. That was weird. Maybe he didn’t properly wake up yet. His head was spinning around and he wasn’t feeling really good to be honest. Taehyung glanced over him with a worried expression. 

“What’s wrong?” The voice was deep yet soft at the same time, giving an unrealistic comfort to Jeongguk’s heart. 

“I’m not sure...” The dark-haired man answered with honesty. “I think I just had a bad napping time.”  

Taehyung gave him a slight worried gaze before changing to his usual serious yet playful one. 

“Well, maybe you should sleep some more.” He said plainly. “There’s still a long ride ahead of us.” 

He was right. Perhaps Jeongguk should sleep some more to take off that horrible unsettling feeling that something was about to happen. Nevertheless, he still felt like there was something missing from his head and refused to stop thinking about it. He was always a little stubborn. Jeongguk looked around the bus some more. The people there seemed to know each other quite well. They were usually chatting about anything and everything as they all sat close to each other. Probably they were good friends. Jeongguk himself felt that he knew them from somewhere. Where did Jeongguk know Taehyung from, though? 

Thoughts were lost as Jeongguk tried to fall asleep again, only to be abruptly woken by the sound of a loud bang ringing in his ears as the somehow familiar feeling of falling down a cliff possessed his body. 

Please, wake up.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. As he opened his eyes, he took in a deep breath noticing that the destination was still far away from his reach. Jeongguk felt unsettled even though there was enough comfort on the travel-bus’s scarlet-red seats and enough space around considering the lack of passengers. The bus was obviously reserved for them, considering it would be a lot of trouble if idols like themselves took a bus full of random people who could easily disturb their long-awaited peace. They had too many practice and concerts to perform lately, which was no easy task. He couldn’t help but had fallen asleep the moment he sat down on that bus after a long week. 

Taehyung was sitting on the seat beside his own, looking intently outside their window. Jeongguk couldn’t help but feel a string of pain in his chest as he observed his friend, looking so thoughtful yet peaceful. He usually could feel happy just by looking at Taehyung’s expressionless face, but there was something bothering Jeongguk beyond his comprehension. The brown-haired man noticed the younger man’s heavy gaze, something so familiar. 

“What is it?”  

“Nothing.” Jeongguk said with obvious uncertainty in his voice, before turning his head to look around the bus carefully. 

Namjoon and Seokjin were a couple seats afront of them, chatting about something random yet beautifully intimate as they smiled and chuckled around. Jimin was fiddling with his phone as he shared an earbud with Yoongi who was fast asleep, his lips partially open like a sleepy small child. Hoseok was sprawled on his both seats as he also slept fondly right across the corridor from Jimin and Yoongi’s seats. Everyone seemed to be fine, yet there was this awful feeling like Jeongguk knew something that nobody else could know. Somewhat alike when Jeongguk was still in high school and couldn’t quite remember answers to questions he surely knew about during finals. 

His head started hammering with thoughts and possibilities as Jeongguk set his mind to find out what was bothering him so much. He suddenly felt the urge to be around the other members before...  something happens. Jeongguk couldn’t tell what and it was killing him. It was on the tip of his tongue yet so distant from his brain’s reach. He just wanted to be with his friends and share a good moment together immediately. Something was clearly missing. Jeongguk glanced over Taehyung’s face again, his heart paining him endlessly.  

No. This is completely wrong.   

“Are you sure it’s nothing?” Taehyung asked once more, noticing how unwell Jeongguk looked. “You look pale.”  

Jeongguk couldn’t bring himself to answer a question that he didn’t know the answer, there was something awful eating him on the inside. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want them to be there. Jeongguk swiftly pushed Taehyung’s legs aside as he quickly got up from his seat and moved to stand in the corridor, earning a few curious glances towards him. 

He was breathing so heavily almost to the point he’d start panting, trying to grasp the lack of air that was left inside that bus. Jeongguk felt like fainting but he knows that wouldn’t solve anything, probably make things worse. He held tightly onto one of the seats, his head dizzy as he looked around the bus once more. Namjoon and Seokjin were looking at him intently, and maybe even asking the boy if he was feeling okay. Jeongguk couldn’t really tell, he could barely hear his own thoughts.  

“Hey.” Namjoon was now standing up as well due to the lack of the Maknae’s response. “Are you okay?”  

Jeongguk abruptly looked at his Hyung, trying really hard not to fall down. The panic attack was taking something important from him, wasn’t it?  

. He knows what it is.  

“WAIT!” Jeongguk yelled. “STOP THE B--” 

Please.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. As he opened his eyes, the boy immediately gasped for air, something that felt inexistent until that moment. He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest and his head had an excruciating pain. Taehyung was staring at him, a familiar worried glance.  

“Did you have a nightmare?” The older man asked, his hand on Jeongguk’s arm warmly. 

Jeongguk wasn’t sure. Did he really have a nightmare or did that actually happen? A vision maybe? He was completely lost, nevertheless he felt like that wasn’t just a mere dream. He held back the urge to scream in agony, his arms shaky as he tried to reach for Taehyung’s arms to grasp tightly out of pure fear and need to have a grip on something that was real. Something needs to be done. Was that really going to happen? 

“H-Hyung!” Jeongguk called out, his voice cracking. “We need to stop the bus!” 

Taehyung looked at him confusedly, his eyes looking over Jeongguk’s scared expression analysing the younger’s face for some clue. 

“What?”  

“The bus is going to crash soon.” Jeongguk stated factually. “Please, Hyung.” 

“Stop joking around.” Taehyung chuckled, sceptical of his words. 

This is a waste of time. 

Jeongguk immediately stood up, lightly pushing Taehyung aside to walk out of his seat. He desperately looked around, everyone seemed to be exactly like they were in his vision, nightmare or whatever. He fought the urge to faint once more, trying hard to ignore the pain behind his eyes.  

“Hey.” Namjoon’s voice echoed in his head. “Are you okay?” 

“No!” Jeongguk almost yelled, his hand on his head now to try stopping the pain. “Stop the bus.” 

“What are you talking about?” Namjoon was standing right in front of the bus driver’s cabin door. 

“STOP THE BUS!” Jeongguk yelled powerfully, trying to warn the bus driver.  

There was not a single hint of response. 

The Maknae walked towards the bus driver cabin, only to be stopped by Namjoon who held him worriedly, trying to make him sit back down. There’s no time for that. Jeongguk was feeling too weak to even fight Namjoon’s gentle push to the nearby seat. This is not good.  

He was about to yell once more when a loud bang was heard.  

I don’t want you to go.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. He shot his eyes open, slightly gasping for air as the boy took in the feeling consuming him. There were too many questions yet not a single answer. Was he stuck in a time loop? 

There was no use in questioning what couldn’t be answered at the moment. There was no use in telling the others either. Jeongguk was alone in this. Whatever this was. He once again fought the urge to panic and tried to calm himself down. Deep breaths. There is no time to dwell on anything, something needs to be done. Jeongguk doesn’t want to lose his friends like that. He doesn’t want to lose Tae like that. 

“Are you okay?” Taehyung’s deep voice filled his ears perfectly, like poison inside a perfume flask. “You look pale.” 

“Yeah.” Jeongguk managed to answer softly. “I’m just feeling a little sick” 

Taehyung’s familiar worried gaze caressed his facial expression one more time, his eyes looking so alive. Jeongguk wants to keep it that way at all costs. 

“Maybe I’m bus sick.” He continued. “Do you think the driver could stop the bus?” 

The older man’s face twitched in a doubtful feeling. It’s like he wanted to help but couldn’t. 

“I don’t know.” Taehyung answered. “The ride is already long, I don’t think anyone would want to delay it even more.” 

Jeongguk sighed and nodded. No way he wouldn’t try it anyway. The dark-haired man got up from his seat again, this time not in a panicky move or anything that would clearly give away his fear. He was really shaky but he tried to control his anxiety and remain calm, like he’d do many times before a concert.  

“What’s going on?” Namjoon’s voice was plain, not worried this time. “Where are you going?” 

Jeongguk didn’t even answer, just walked towards the bus driver’s cabin and opened the door before anyone could stop him. 

“Sir.” Jeongguk started, looking at the bus driver as he closed the door behind him. “Could you please stop the bus for a moment?” 

No response.  

“It’s really important.” The Maknae continued. “I think I’m gonna puke.” 

The driver didn’t even look at him or did anything at all. Just kept driving like a robot and never bothered to show any reaction to Jeongguk’s presence there. It was almost like that man couldn’t see him there.  

“Stop the bus, please.” Jeongguk’s voice became a little shaky, raising its tone to gain some attention. “Sir?” 

He really couldn’t see  Jeongguk  there, could he?  

There was little time. Jeongguk knew it, and he was well-aware that he didn’t want this to happen again. His breathing became frantic as he considered all the options he had. Was there any option at all, though? Jeongguk tried to pull the driver away from there even if he’s not sure how to drive a bus. There was no success. That man was almost glued to that seat with such resistant strength.  

Their destination was way too close.  

“STOP!” Jeongguk yelled as he tried to grab the wheel from the dead-looking man, but there was no use. 

A loud crash could be heard. 

Come back to me.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. No. There was no final destination. There wasn’t anything besides that point in time. There was no escape for any of them, there was nothing that could be done about it either. Were they going to die over and over again? Was this his last chance? If it is, what even could be done?  

Jeongguk’s entire body was in pain, frustration eating him up like a deadly disease, spreading through his organs and corrupting his soul. He felt tears forming in his eyes. He doesn’t want to lose anyone to this nightmare.  

“Kookie?” Taehyung’s soft voice would be a relief, but how could he feel relief when he knows that this voice is about to cease its existence. “Are you okay?” 

He was not okay. Not even a bit.  

“No, I’m not.” His voice was almost a whine. 

It’s almost like this was their fate and Jeongguk was the only one who could do something about it. Instead, it felt more like he was the only one who could suffer eternal damnation. He couldn’t tell anymore.  

Just take me instead already. I rather die for them than die with them.  

“What is it?” Taehyung was deeply worried the moment he noticed Jeongguk’s tears run down his soft face. “What’s wrong?” 

Jeongguk wanted to scream. There was nothing he could do to avoid that horrible tragedy from happening. He couldn’t think of any solution to this mentally disturbing puzzle. 

“What’s the point in telling if you won’t believe me?” He complained with a sob. It’s not like he could explain the situation to any of them, even Taehyung, in a way to make it believable. 

Even himself couldn’t really believe what was going on. 

“Try and tell me.” Taehyung softened even more his voice as he gently caressed the younger’s hair. 

His heavy yet soft hand brought him the sensation of a blissful touch, like any worry could fade if it was anything else but this nightmare going on. Time was growing shorter. Jeongguk looked around one more time to ease the pain of losing everyone; and everyone seemed so oblivious and so peaceful. 

The minute before the tragedy, nobody knew that they were happy. 

“Tae.” Jeongguk’s eyes came back to his beloved Hyung. “I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you.” 

Taehyung titled his head at that, like a puppy who didn’t understand what their owner just said. 

“What do you mean?” 

It was so close to the end. 

“I love all of you.” Jeongguk sadly smiled in pain, tears still present. “I love y-” 

I know you’re there.  

It’s been a couple of hours already since the bus started moving. However, Jeongguk was well-aware that there was still a long way left until he arrived at his final destination. Stop. This is nonsense. Why was he there again? When would this accident cease torturing him? Jeongguk sighed softly, frustration building up inside him again but there was no point in panicking now. He knows the final destination was soon going to be reached. Somehow, he could feel this was the last time. 

Jeongguk looked around the bus for the last time. Everyone seemed so happy and alive. Yoongi was in his sleepy bliss as he listened to the same music as Jimin, who was carefully paying attention to whatever they were listening to. Hoseok was also still sleeping, but at least he seemed unaware of any danger existent within the realm of earth. Within the realm of time. Namjoon and Seokjin were still chatting and laughing, not getting enough time from each other. Jeongguk wanted to spend more time with them. He realizes this now. Maybe he could had spent more time with them, maybe that would make things better. Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so guilty for losing them so early in his life. Passage of time was something inevitable and painful. There was not enough time for them to spend together in this world. There was not enough time.  

The young dark-haired man finally looked at Taehyung again, observing the face that would send shivers down his spine whenever he danced or singed so perfectly. He couldn’t help but smile at that thought.  

“What is it?” Taehyung asked as he noticed Jeongguk’s complexed staring. 

“It’s nothing.” Jeongguk answered softly. “It’s just you’re really handsome.”  

Taehyung couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed by the sudden compliment, especially when it was coming from Jeongguk, who was usually more reserved about his thoughts.  

That boxy smile was his response before Taehyung placed a kiss on the younger’s cheek. Jeongguk laid his head against his shoulder, slowly closing his eyes as he reached for his hyung’s hand and held it tightly but gently. 

Jeongguk wishes he could get everyone out. That he could save everyone else even if that means that he’s the only one to fall away from existence. If he was the only one inside that bus, Jeongguk wouldn’t mind it. He would deal with the fact that his time had come. However, it was not just his fate. It was Taehyung’s and everybody else’s. He wouldn't feel so dreadful if he could trade his own life for theirs.  

He simply remained with his eyes closed, waiting for the arrival on his final destination. 

I love you.  

~ 

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Jimin’s voice was strained, barely coming out of his mouth.  

“I don’t know.” Yoongi couldn’t lie to him. He wanted to tell him that everything was going to be fine, but he couldn’t know. 

Yoongi and Jimin glanced over Taehyung’s bruised face and tired eyes, that couldn’t look away from the unconscious body for a mere second. 

“Come on.” Hoseok said softly to the others, looking at Namjoon who was ready to talk to Taehyung. “Let’s give them some space.”  

They hesitantly walked out of the hospital room, leaving Namjoon and Taehyung alone with him. 

“Taehyung.” Namjoon’s voice was comforting, ready to start something more. But Taehyung didn’t want to hear it. 

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” The younger interrupted, his face expressionless. “That he’s like this.” 

Namjoon let out a small sigh. “Of course not.” 

This was hard on all of them, but they reckoned it must be even worse for Taehyung who was the closest to him. 

“It’s not your fault.” Namjoon stated. 

Taehyung’s lips twitched at that. He didn’t think that was the truth. 

“I made him switch seats with me, because I wanted to sit by the window.” Taehyung explained with a guilty smile. “If I hadn’t, it would have been me instead of him there.”  

Namjoon furrowed his brows. “Would that be any better?”  

“Yes.” 

It was truly unfortunate how Jeongguk and Taehyung’s car suffered an accident on their way to the hotel, how it couldn’t be avoided. The other member’s cars stopped the moment they saw the hit, praying that everyone inside would be okay. Luckily, Taehyung made it out with a few bruises and didn’t stay unconscious for long; in fact, he woke up with the sight of Jeongguk unconscious body right next to him and he never felt so scared and completely devastated in his life before. Unfortunately, the driver died and Jeongguk was still... asleep. 

“You couldn’t have known.” Namjoon told Taehyung. “And switching yourself for him, would be just as awful.” 

Taehyung gulped, fighting back the tears forming in his eyes as he considered the fact that Jeongguk may never wake up again. Namjoon sighed again, knowing there was no word that could comfort such a tragic desperation at the moment. He decided to give him some space for his own good, leaving the room to join his fellow worried members and let Taehyung cope with the situation in peace by himself. 

Taehyung closed his eyes for a second, a tear running through his soft skin. 

“I’m so sorry.” Taehyung approached Jeongguk’s body, the machines around the younger man bringing more discomfort than comfort to the older man’s heart.  

The sad man held his companion’s hand softly, caressing it with his thumb.  

“Please, wake up.” He whined, holding Jeongguk’s hand close to his body. “Please.” 

Denial of reality or not, Taehyung refused himself to think about all his history with Jeongguk at the moment. He refused to let himself accept the fact that his best friend would never wake up again. He refused to let himself know that the man he most loved in his life was lying unconscious right in front of him, unaware of his feelings towards him and that it could stay like that forever. Most importantly, he refused to believe that there was a salvation. Tragedy happens all the time and people are always dying. It could had been him and it could had been someone else close to him all the same; for all Taehyung knew, he could die at any moment tomorrow. That’s how cruel life is, and he couldn’t feel enough regret to compensate the fact he never shared his true feelings with his partner in life.  

“I don’t want you to go.”  

There was no point in thinking about the ‘ifs’ and the ‘could had done’. It was far too late for anything to be actually done. Taehyung wished he would go to sleep and wake up knowing it had all been just a horrible one-time dream. A nightmare that could never come to life. But how could one live happily in their fantasy when reality is hitting them so hard in their face? 

 “Come back to me.” It was barely a whisper.  Muttering the words of a possibility he found highly unlikely. 

What were the chances that Jeongguk would come back to him; to his home? In fact, what were the chances Taehyung’s arms were his home? 

 “I know you’re there.”  

Was he, though? He could be long gone inside his mind by now. There was no way anyone could know. He could stay there for days, weeks, months, years or his entire lifetime; living—no, existing like a vegetable and nothing more. He could stop breathing at any moment now. Until what point can someone consider the act of breathing as living when a brain cannot properly function and a heart can barely beat? 

 “I love you.”  

Those were the most honest words coming from Taehyung’s mouth in his entire life. Not that he was a liar, but because that was the only thing certain in his life. The one thing he absolutely knew no one could change. The one thing he would never question about again, the one thing he could never change. He didn’t want to either. 

A loud noise filled the previous sound-emptied room, crashing Taehyung’s eardrums like a hammer being dropped on thin glass. The machine that was beeping ever so slowly and carefully suddenly reached its peak as the faint sound became a loud continuous beeping noise indicating Jeongguk’s increasing heartbeat rate. Taehyung had forgotten for a moment that those machines were there, gasping loudly as he was abruptly reminded of their existence as the silence was broken. It wasn’t exactly a good thing. He couldn’t help but panic as he quickly stood up and stared intently at Jeongguk’s body aided by the machines. Maybe that was a bad sign? Could he possibly be going into cardiac arrest or something like that?  

Jeongguk’s eyes flew open with a pure sensation of fear mixed with relief in his look as his pupils retracted, almost like a candle that has just been lightened up. His entire body was a shivering cold-sweating mess as his chest rose and fell quickly, trying to catch his breath through that medical mask connected to the machine that he had no idea he one day would ever need to be using. He looked around the room in panic, trying to understand what happened and what is going on at the moment and why was he in a hospital room.  

“Jeongguk!” Taehyung almost screamed in despair but with a slight relief embedded in his voice, knowing that his friend was at least woken up. 

The younger’s stare went immediately to Taehyung’s worried face the moment he heard that familiar voice that kept talking to him in his dream or whatever that was. He couldn’t quite understand what happened yet, what was real and what was a fragment created by his own subconscious. Jeongguk without much thought ripped the machinery mask from his face to feel lighter, noticing all the wires around his body.  

Taehyung wasn’t so sure if he should call somebody’s help or try to calm Jeongguk down first. Honestly, he was not prepared for the sudden change of events. Then again, he was not prepared for any event of this sort in the first place. 

“You’re alright! You’re safe!” Taehyung exclaimed, reaching over Jeongguk’s arms with a gentle yet firm touch. “You’re okay.” 

That damn boxy smile. 

That’s when Jeongguk remembered everything. There was an accident. There was a horrid dream where he was stuck in a time loop in which he kept having another accident with all his friends. However, there was a voice. A voice in that nightmare of his, so mysterious and so soothing but saddening. A voice that kept him going. It was Taehyung’s. And he was okay, he was alive. Everyone is okay. Jeongguk’s okay. Everything is fine. 

“Tae...” Jeongguk’s eyes filled with tears, but this time, it was pure and true happiness. “Tae... I--” 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Taehyung soothed his worries, caressing his cheek. He could hear nurses coming from a small distance already. “It’s all okay.” 

Jeongguk smiled through his tears, unable to contain himself, reaching out his arms pulling Taehyung into a painful hug, ignoring both men’s bruises and injuries from the accident.  

“I love you too.”  

That boxy smile took its form again, and Jeongguk swear he could feel some of Taehyung’s tears falling onto him as well as those words were spoken out loud.  

The nurses arrived, killing their hug with care as they prepared to take care of the now conscious man. But their smiles didn’t die. Their gaze towards each other did not fade for a second. If only had they known how much comfort one could feel by just looking at each other, knowing they’re both breathing together. Their hearts beating in synchronization forever.  

Everything would always be okay.