Chaewon is a little confused when she walks through the door.

She's not going to lie: her expectations were low - so low she was half-expecting to find mould visibly growing on the ceiling, the wallpaper tearing down the walls, and maybe several illegal exotic animals littering the room - but holy .

Sure, she's grown up a little more... privileged than other people have, but she's pretty sure that what she's watching unfold in front of her isn't something to expect from any kind of household from any kind of wealth class. It's not even that the situation misses her expectations by a couple of inches, it's that the situation completely wipes her off her feet and smacks her around the face because she hadn't even thought about opening the door to this.

The last thing she expected was to have to immediately duck as soon as she steps over the threshold, a jug of milk flying over her head.

She's surprised that her reflexes have finally decided to kick in after nineteen years of life sadistically watching her get hit in the face by anything flying in her general direction. However, she's even more surprised at the sight of what is almost her new official home for the next four years of her life.

Absolute chaos.

Actually, to call this situation chaotic would be a hilarious understatement.

"What in the world made you think for a second that this was okay?!" A girl with blonde hair and a red face shouts- no, screams at another equally blonde girl who is covered in flour.

"Unnie!" A panicked voice shouts from what Chaewon assumes (hopes) is the kitchen. "The oven is screaming at me!" A high-pitched trill screeches in the background.

A pillow zooms across the room toward a tiny high school girl still in her uniform.

"You !" A scream makes the high schooler flinch before she dodges. The pillow hits the TV, causing it to teeter dangerously. "That was seven thousand won!"

"Heejin I swear to god- get away from the oven!" A girl with glasses and a ridiculous set of frog-decorated pajamas dashes through the chaos.

"ARF ARF ARF GRRARF ARF!"

...Chaewon was sure that the contract stated no pets.

"Look at what you've done!" The red-faced blonde points toward the mess so haphazardly that she ends up hitting Pajama Girl in the face as the latter makes an attempt to the kitchen.

"Hyunjin-unnie is on dog mode again!"

The taller blonde girl looks comical as her eyes widen. "Hey- Hey! Don't touch that! I worked so hard-"

The high schooler stands on the coffee table. "Bite me- ah! She bit me!"

Betrayal is in the air, it seems, as a hoard of girls attempting to recreate a battle scene let out blood-curdling screams and menacing threats. The situation is so absurd that Chaewon almost wonders if her brother had slipped something into her frappe earlier this morning.

However, the betrayal also impacts Chaewon's reflexes. She gets hit point blank in the stomach by a flying shoe, which knocks the wind out of her lungs. Being small and light as a feather, she stumbles back at the impact and shock, only to misstep and trip over her luggage. A startled, garbled scream escapes her (it sounds suspiciously similar to an otamatone) as she scatters across the floor, her prized boombox mimicking her movement.

The only thing running through her mind is to check whether the boombox is intact, because the last thing she needs is to be worrying about whether or not her trusty best friend will be able to make it through another surgery involving a screwdriver, her head light and her limited knowledge in technology. (She couldn't take another scare from the damn thing.)

Rather surprisingly, none of the girls notice the fact that the front door is wide open and that perfectly good milk now decorates the front porch, or that there is a stranger in their house with numerous bags and suitcases.

Chaewon is not sure whether or not she should be concerned at the lack of security that the dorm has: she had simply opened the front door after waiting for five minutes on the porch and found that it had been unlocked. There's no alarm in place to notify anybody when someone has stepped foot in the residence or a second door for extra protection. (Though she wonders whether that's something that only this dorm is missing or whether it's just poor people things).

Chaewon is busy making sure that her boombox is still functioning (though she would find it absolutely fitting if it didn't because when does anything in her life function?) when she feels a shadow loom over her.

A loud alarm blares into the house.

It takes a good few seconds for any of the girls to react, almost as if they're used to the loud sound. (Which startles Chaewon because how often does this happen?)

Reluctantly, the hurricane in the living room comes to a standstill.

"What in the world are you all doing?!" The girl standing in the doorway turns off the alarm in her hand with a fierce click of the button. She dons reddish hair which matches her hostile red aura as she glares sun beams accusingly at the people in the room. "Somebody explain this to me right this second!"

The girl - who Chaewon assumes is Hyunjin - releases the hold that she has on the high-schooler's calf. There are marks where she'd had her teeth digging into the small girl's flesh. 

With a spiteful look on her face, the high-schooler slaps Hyunjin's shoulder in delayed retaliation. Hyunjin is equally quick to react and she smacks the back of the small girl's thighs with a clear slap that resonates in the room.

"Kim Hyunjin!" The girl with red hair shouts, her voice commanding authority.

"She slapped me first-"

"She bit me-"

"You broke my chair!"

"It was Jinsoul-unnie's idea-"

The tall blonde girl startles. "Ya! How is that my fault?!"

"All of this is your fault!" The red-faced blonde shouts at Jinsoul.

Everything devolves into chaos once more.

Chaewon is astounded.

Growing up she never had any sisters, just a brother who loves to relentlessly at every turn (in ways that are sometimes far too cruel to be considered 'pranks'). But there's a large distinction between having brothers and having sisters.

Chaewon would read posts online written by girls who would constantly complain about their experiences with their sisters, painting a wild dramatization of what Chaewon actually thought having a sister was like. (Like, come on, there was no way two sisters could slam each other through a wall - who would be insane enough to do that?) Though perhaps Chaewon's reluctance to accept the first-person accounts was really just her projecting her childhood wish of having a sister. She never really thought that those accounts would ever be accurate.

It isn't like she has had a lot of female influences in her life either. Throughout her time in high school she only had a total of two female friends, though she wouldn't really have considered them to be sisters. Even so, despite those two friends, she only keeps in touch with her male friend. 

So seeing the six girls (seven if she counts the one in the kitchen) frenziedly strewn about the living room in the same manner kitchen ingredients are rambunctiously tainting furniture and hardwood floors- it sends her for a loop.

Even the girl who had blared the alarm into the house - who posed the only possibility at reining this pandemonium under control - is now involved in the chaos herself. Chaewon is almost positive she can hear her rapping out a rant in a foreign language. One she can only guess is Mandarin. She's speaking so quickly she won't be surprised if she finds her on Sound Cloud later on in the day.

For a moment, Chaewon considers backing out: very slowly grab all of her belongings (including the boombox that had been precariously strapped to her suitcase but had slipped off in the midst of the mayhem) and leave the mess behind as if the fire can just put itself out when she closes the front door behind her. Maybe it's not too late to get accommodation on the university campus, where there won't be any flying death shoes or raging oven fires and crazed girls tearing each other to shreds - it's not like the psychotic price that the university expects students to be able to pay scares her.

A price she would be able to pay if she just returned home and asked for forgiveness.

She feels her mood sour.

No.

She's not going back.

Chaewon observes the mess in front of her.

A pretty girl with dark singed hair and a hole incensed into her white shirt shuffles out of a separate room. She is pushed by Pajama Girl, who holds an ice pack on her face as she nurses the red mark.

"It's okay!" Pajama Girl announces. (To who? Chaewon doesn't know, because nobody else is listening.) "No need to call the firemen again - I put the fire out." Smoke trails out after them, almost aggrandizing their entrance.

The two blondes are still bickering. The red-faced one appears to be tearing down the elaborately engineered mechanism attached to the walls and ceiling, and the taller blonde is making her best attempts to stop her without being too forceful. Chaewon notices the set of heavy textbooks scattered on the floor behind the red-faced blonde before either of them do. She is absolutely not surprised when she sees both of them disappear from her sight in a mess of limbs.

Two garbled screams cut through the argument being had between the red-haired girl, the high schooler and the barking girl.

Chaewon assumes that the girl who was barking - Hyunjin - must do a sport because she seems pretty capable of holding the small high schooler upside down by her feet. (It's very impressive, actually.)

The smaller girl paints a wonderful picture in Chaewon's mind of how she's going to get back at the Hyunjin girl as she strings colorful words together.

Meanwhile, the red-haired girl is trying to pry Hyunjin's iron-grip off the high-schooler's ankles, now speaking in Korean again. "This is dangerous! Put her down!"

"Not before she says she'll buy me a new PC!" Hyunjin shouts firmly, red in the face.

"Bro I'm in high school!" The small girls has tears streaming down (up?) the side of her face, which is also red but for the reason that she is hanging upside down. "I'm broke!"

"Tough !"

It's chaotic.

It is so so chaotic.

But Chaewon has spent her entire life living in order per her parents' desire. She lived in a large house with more empty space than anyone has ever realistically needed; space filled with fear infused air that had weaved its thick vines around her limbs. Those vines that imprisoned her under her parents' legacy. Strict rules commandeered her, a puppeteer that tugged the strings connected to her limbs and mind. She had grown quite fond of the anxious reaction that kept her from breaking rules. There was absolutely no tolerance for failure or mistake. The moment anything stepped out of line, punishment struck town.

Until this moment, Chaewon had spent her entire life living under the weight and shackles of rules and order. Until this moment, she had spent her entire life living with the suffocating pressure of expectations gripping her by the throat and depriving her of oxygen.

So it's no wonder that the chaos hits her hard in the chest.

It's disorienting, because she has never been around an atmosphere so anarchic, but it feels good. It feels like finally being able to breathe air into her lungs for the first time in her life. It brings an exhilarating rush that runs through Chaewon's body as she absorbs everything that has just happened.

The thing that hooks her, however, is what comes after the chaos. It's a wild fire that has been roaring on for days and has finally dissipated - finally lost its energy - now welcoming her in with its kindling embers and it's comforting warmth.

Chaewon watches with an unfamiliar sense of yearning as the crying high school girl is tended to by the red-haired girl, a gentle scolding that is quite clearly deserved yet done in a way that feels much more supportive than any of the encouraging words that Chaewon has ever received in her life. She watches as the two girls, clearly not related to one another, hold each other close as if they were sisters. As if they were family.

She watches as the Pajama Girl makes sure that the girl who had caught fire is alright, removing the ice pack from her face and instead placing it on her stomach where the hole in her shirt is, even though Pajama Girl obviously needs it more. There is a doting look on her face, and an almost apologetic glint in her eyes which the other girl returns. The girl, with a bright, neon yellow shirt, appears to thank her. She thanks her with a quiet embrace that screams love and belonging, and endless bouts of appreciation.

The girl who had bitten the high school girl gives a heavy sigh, still visibly upset. But she (albeit reluctantly) accepts the apology that the blubbering younger girl stammers out. The redhead pulls her into their hug, planting a firm kiss atop her head.

Even the two blondes appear to have ended their feud amicably, the taller of the two gently helping the other from the floor. (Chaewon knows that something more is definitely growing between the two by the blush on both girls' faces.)

Chaewon has only been standing at the doorway for ten minutes at most (she's slightly worried about her soon-to-be roommates' unawareness), but she already understands how the Moon Dorm works.

She lets a small smile form on her face.

With the chaos comes the calm, and to Chaewon, chaos is freedom.

-

Absent-mindedly, Chaewon observes the blanketed sky. It's easy to find comfort in the thoughtless state of mind. Her eyes rest on the tall buildings of Seoul without reason nor explanation as to why - only that it is a trivial consolation. Through her peripherals she sees the clouds toil and traipse, allowing themselves to be pushed by the rough winds of a cold February evening. The same rough winds swell over her bare skin, tangle themselves in her blonde hair and make an attempt to guide her back inside.

She won't.

Her sigh is lost to the muted roar of the city and the winds.

She's come far.

If she were to look back now - look back at the journey she has taken to get to where she is now - and see the steps and leaps and jumps that she has risked, she would say that it has been worth it. In a heartbeat, she would say that it has been worth it. It has been worth abandoning what she thought was her destined lifestyle, and abandoning the rules and orders that imprisoned her.

Something within her tells her that everything works itself out in the end. That, in the same way that the early February clouds provide shelter from the scorching sun that had lit ablaze the earth that summer, everything serves its purpose.

It's easy to get lost in perspective, Chaewon muses.

Jiwoo hates cloudy days.

"Gray skies bring my mood down," she says, "it takes the energy out of me." 

Though that could be disputed. Gray skies don't take the energy out of Jiwoo, they give Jiwoo a new kind of energy that sunny days can't provide. One that Jiwoo is not familiar with (most likely scares her), so she discards it as it being 'unalike' her true self.

It's not too dissimilar to how Haseul says she hates the rain. She hates it because she always forgets her umbrella and has to run to the bus so that her hair and make-up don't get ruined, and because it reminds her of sadness and depression and crying. (And because 'The Haseul Curse' is a notorious joke within the Moon Dorm.)

However, the rain is essential. It fills up rivers and clears up dust particles in the air, which means that people don't have to wear masks on the streets. The earth can't survive without rain. The soil and the trees and the flowers and the plants - they all need rain to survive in the same way that they need sunlight to survive.

It's not just rain that is essential; balance is essential.

Chaewon hasn't learnt how to apply that to her life yet.

When she left her home, she took only her clothes and a dream. She had everything that anybody could have ever asked for, but of everything that Chaewon was handed on a silver platter - every expensive and opulent gift - the freedom to dream was not one of them.

"People like us can't have our heads in the clouds! We have to recognize reality and assume our responsibilities."

Almost vividly, she remembers sitting in her large living room (one of two), surrounded with plushies and toys that she had begged her parents to buy for her. She wore expensive clothes that her nanny constantly reminded her not to ruin, less her mother grew upset and have to buy more. (Not that that was ever an issue.) Everything that Chaewon could ever need was right there at her disposal, but she yearned for more.

It didn't feel like enough.

"'Dreams' are for the poor."

Chaewon grimaces at the memory. There's a stinging in her chest that is a faint reminiscence of the way that those words had dug salt in an already open wound at the time.

Her father, Chaewon thinks, was right in a way.

Goosebumps break out on Chaewon's skin, the soft touch of the cold wind encouraging the hairs on her body to rise. She should roll her sleeves down, but Chaewon finds the freezing graze on her skin far too comforting to do so. There's something in the way that the cold envelops her with its arms, frosting the oxygen in her lungs and dragging its nails on so that her breathing becomes ragged. It's fascinating to watch her once warm huffs of air forming clouds in front of her slowly disappear. The cold is entrancing.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Chae?"

It's Hyeju.

"Are you up there?"

"Yeah," she calls back. She's glad for the pause in her train of thought, knowing that if she allowed to go down the rabbit hole that are her existential dwellings she would most likely end up in a place that she would struggle to crawl back out from.

Leaning over the edge of the roof, her eyes land on Hyeju's face, which her black hair frames in strands that have fallen out from her messy bun. She's carrying a tote bag over her shoulder, which swings precariously under the weight of gravity. There's a tinge of concern in her dark eyes that Chaewon immediately recognizes. (She's seen it before in the way that Hyeju will gather her into her arms during nights where vines and strings haunt her dreams.) Hyeju hides it well, however, with a lopsided grin that charms Chaewon into silence. Her words come out almost breathless, far too enamored to tell her to, "be careful, we don't want a 'Yeojin' repeat."

A laugh resonates over the dull growl of the city and roaring wind. The melody alleviates some of the pressure that had been unknowingly sitting at Chaewon's shoulders. The shackles that the (unfortunately) familiar pressure have on her are washed away by Hyeju's laugh. The sound brings a warmth to her chest and cheeks that Chaewon has already acquainted herself with numerous times.

Thoroughly entertained, Chaewon watches as Hyeju pulls herself up on the metallic stairs on the side of the building. She's aware of the strength that the younger girl possesses (they've gotten into wrestling fights a number of times - Chaewon knows that Hyeju is strong enough to hold her down and grapple her limbs at once) so she really shouldn't be worried about her ability to safely make it up to the roof. But she is. Annoyingly, Chaewon tends to worry far more than she should about Hyeju.

"Seriously, be careful," she says, the muscles on her face tightening.

Hyeju, ever the annoying dork, rolls her eyes at her. "Please, what's the worst that can happen? That I- AH!"

Hyeju lurches.

Heart leaping to her chest, Chaewon jolts from where she sits and scrambles to get a hold of Hyeju's forearm. Panic floods her system and adrenaline fuels her bloodstream. She almost lets out a scream.

But she knows that she's been fooled when Hyeju's face breaks out into a fully-fledged grin.

"You !" Chaewon slaps Hyeju's shoulder as she finally pulls herself up and onto the roof, glaring at her so hard that she feels her eyebrows tug together. "I seriously hate you sometimes."

"No you don't." Hyeju's laughter so loud that Chaewon is almost scared that they'll get caught by their neighbors. The last time that they had been seen up here, their landlord came running over from their house to scream at them to get down. But Hyeju's grin is so wide that her gums show and Chaewon is smitten. "You love me, I know it."

An ironic smile paints on Chaewon's lips as she watches Hyeju make herself comfortable beside her. "I do," she says.

Hyeju does that thing that makes her heart skip a beat, where she tilts her head down and sideways, and shyly looks at her through her eyelashes and her charming grin.

For a moment, it feels like they both understand what the other is trying to say. Like they both acknowledge that this connection - the ability to wordlessly understand one another - is more special than either of them could have anticipated. Chaewon knows that she's vulnerable right now and that if it were any other person in the world, she would immediately disguise the weakness with a joke or a change in conversation. But Hyeju's gaze has a hold on her.

Hope swells in her chest the longer the hand falls down the clock. Chaewon is fully aware of how dangerous it is to let it build.

A pair of lips press against her cheek.

Chaewon blinks.

"Vivi-unnie brought back chicken so the unnies are being too loud." Hyeju casually lifts her weight with her arms and drops herself down, this time closer so that their thighs press together. (Chaewon's heartbeat quickens.) "I thought you'd be up here."

"There's chicken?" Chaewon asks, feeling salivate at the thought of having dinner. (She had accidentally skipped lunch when she was too distracted by the song she was producing.) "And you left? I'm surprised you didn't stay to savage it all like you usually do - you scared you're gonna get your handed to you by Sooyoung-unnie in a chicken brawl?"

(Sooyoung and Hyeju at each other's throats over who would have the last chicken wing was something that Chaewon hadn't been expecting. Well, she expected it from Hyeju, but she was surprised that Sooyoung would stoop that low.

They both claimed that the other had already hoarded most of the portions when in reality it had been Jiwoo and Hyunjin who had scarfed down most of it.

Haseul had tried to calm them down, getting in between the two and saying that they could just order more chicken if they were still hungry. Even Heejin made a futile attempt at telling them that they could just share the last piece, which was ignored in favor of both Hyeju and Sooyoung calling her a 'chicken smuggler'. That had ended up in a pillow being thrown and then stained with sauce. Evidently, neither Hyunjin nor Jiwoo thought that it would be a good idea to say anything, instead opting to watch the scene play out and not so subtly move the bones onto an unsuspecting Yerim and Jungeun's plates.

It's safe to say that after that night, they ordered double the portions every time.)

Hyeju scoffs at her, protesting that realistically she would never lose to Sooyoung. "It's like you don't know me," she's saying, though Chaewon is more focused on her mannerisms; the way her upper lip lifts to form lines on either side of her nose when she scoffs, and her eyes narrow when she looks at her disapprovingly.

"Of course you took some." Chaewon laughs when Hyeju pulls out a tupperware from the tote bag that she had been carrying. "How could I not know?"

"Exactly." Hyeju give her a lazy grin, too distracted with setting everything up for them.

"I'm touched."

"What, why?"

"You bought me dinner, like the lowly servant you are."

"As if Princess, none of this is actually for you. In what world do you think that I'm just gonna let you eat any of this?"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, really. Definitely brought up these two plates just for me."

"Shut up, dork."

Smile rugged, Hyeju proudly leans onto her right hand so that her chin can easily rest on Chaewon's shoulder, admiring the two plastic plates sitting at their sides with equal portions of chicken. Chaewon can't help but want to press her cheek against Hyeju's forehead (maybe even plant a kiss there) but she controls the urge. Instead she focuses on staring at the clouds toiling above them that are beginning to taint a dark blue as daylight sinks into the skyline. A mixture of coconut, vanilla, and fresh linen soothes Chaewon's restlessness as she feels Hyeju nuzzle her cold nose against the back of her shoulder.

"Did you finish that song you were working on?" Hyeju moves away from her and begins to eat her chicken.

A hum. "Yeah." Chaewon takes a sharp inhale before straightening her back to pop her bones. "I've written three more."

Hyeju's eyebrows raise. "Already? Damn... can you show me later?"

Chaewon distractedly hums again, rubbing at Hyeju's stained chin with her thumb. Satisfied, she takes a bite of her own chicken (boneless) and happily kicks her legs out in front of her.

"Jiwoo-unnie was asking where you were," Hyeju says. Beside her, Chaewon can feel her turn to look at her kicking feet. She kicks her own leg out to hit them, initiating a game of footsie.

"What for?" Chaewon fights back for a while but inevitably gives up and lets Hyeju kick her feet around as if they were a soccer ball.

"I don't know, something to do with Sooyoung-unnie."

"Ah... of course." A smug grin appears on Chaewon's face before she can help it.

Jiwoo had come to her seeking advice. She took her by the arm and insisted that they go out for drinks. (Chaewon refused to leave the comfort of her own bed until Jiwoo offered to buy her gongcha with extra tapioca pearls.) It took Chaewon less than two minutes to figure out what Jiwoo was trying to say through her 'my friend needs advice' and 'my friend doesn't know what to do'. Honestly, Chaewon had it all figured out months before Jiwoo had even bothered asking her for her advice, but she let her run herself around in circles out of pure amusement.

"That unnie is a useless gay." Chaewon says. She knows the implications of saying something so private to someone else without Jiwoo's permission, but she knows Hyeju like the back of her hand. Hyeju wouldn't repeat any of this to anyone else.

"As if," Hyeju scoffs between bites of her drumstick. She answers Chaewon's raised eyebrows with a mocking glare of her own. "Jiwoo-unnie is as boy crazy as Jinsoul-unnie is - I'm actually sick and tired of having to avoid the men that she keeps bringing into our safe space, like... did she not get the memo? We literally have the rule circled in red in the living room."

"Your gaydar is crap."

Insulted, Hyeju elbows her side with her pointy elbows.

If Hyeju compares Jiwoo's boy-craziness to Jeong Jinsoul of all people, then they're hopeless. All of them. To be honest, she doesn't blame Hyeju for not realizing sooner because the younger girl has been far too busy planning the launch of her streaming career. That and most of the girls are pretty good at hiding it (subconsciously or not), so nobody would really notice unless they were looking for it. Which, with all of the time that she spends procrastinating instead of actually being productive, Chaewon does. Because... y'know - it's fun to quietly judge.

"You don't have to believe me," Chaewon says at the doubtful look on Hyeju's face. "After all, Unnie hasn't even realised it yet."

"Okay, say she is gay." Hyeju caves, though she has a stubborn expression on her face which means that she's too prideful to admit that she's right. Chaewon shoots her an amused glance that the younger girl swiftly ignores out of spite. "How did you end up finding out?"

"Basic observation skills."

"Don't patronise me."

Chaewon laughs a little, letting a comfortable silence fill the air between the two of them as she hesitates. She knows that she should stop here before Hyeju finds out too much, but there's something inside her that eggs her on. That tells her that she's curious to see where this conversation will end up. So she sighs and asks, "so you know how Sooyoung-unnie takes really good care of Jiwoo-unnie?"

Frowning in confusion, Hyeju takes the time to chew and swallow before saying anything. "Yeah...? I mean, I wouldn't necessarily think that's weird-"

"I'm pretty sure they kissed." Her eyes carefully observe Hyeju's reaction. They look for any hints of disgust, confusion, surprise.

"Who kissed?"

She raises her eyebrows.

"Sooyoung-unnie and Jiwoo-unnie?" Voice incredulous, Hyeju's eyebrows copy hers. Surprise makes her features a little bigger; her eyes are ever-so-slightly widened, and her jaw has slackened so that makes a small 'o'. However, it's all gone in the next second when her expression morphs into one of contemplation. "Well my dog and call me a little ."

"Poor Gureum."

Hyeju stays quiet for the next several minutes. Chaewon feels a little bad for dropping all of this on her without any prior warning so she lets her lose herself in her thoughts. Her reaction is much more quiet than what she would have anticipated, though she prefers it to a homophobic reaction she had prayed not to get. Especially not when Chaewon has some gay feelings herself. For the girl sitting next to her. (At least she isn't oblivious like the other girls in the dorm seem to be.)

After minutes sitting in silence - streetlights blinking to life across the city skyline - Hyeju turns to look at her with an adorable confusion. "And you gathered that simply because Sooyoung-unnie takes care of Jiwoo-unnie well? I'd say she takes care of us the same way that she takes care of Jiwoo."

"Has Unnie ever ran out of the dorm at 3 in the morning in her pajamas to go pick you up?" It's really a no-brainer kind of question, but they both think over it anyway.

"It would be easier to believe you if you said this about Jinsoul-unnie, I mean... she spoils Jungeun-unnie rotten, like, I wouldn't be surprised at all..."

Raising her eyebrows with a mirthful grin on her face, Chaewon just lets Hyeju put the pieces together.

"Damn," Hyeju breathes, turning to face the view in front of them instead. Ironically, Hyeju is very surprised.

But Chaewon continues to stare at the girl's side profile. She admires the sharp line of her nose bridge and her long eyelashes that flutter delicately with every blink. Rose-tinted cheeks bitten by the cold look impossibly soft - so soft that Chaewon has to hold back from running her knuckles along them to feel them under her skin. Her oversized, thick hoodie engulfs her stature, the hood pulled up to hide her neck from the restless winds. Chaewon's eyes come to rest on her lips.

Sharply, she takes a deep breath and turns to look at the horizon too. The dark blue inked skies and the warm orange streetlight glow that resemble the burning embers alight in her chest only fuel the fire in heart.

"Damn indeed."

-

"Well this is... awkward."

Chaewon rolls her eyes.

In front of her sits Jinsoul, with an apologetic grin that's wound up tight enough to almost pass a grimace. She's dressed in a pretty blue blouse that compliments her dark blue hair and reveals the skin on her chest enough so that the necklace Sooyoung gifted her for her birthday glitters under the warm lighting. Across from the older girl is a half-decent looking guy who looks like he's about to crap himself any moment now. 

Honestly, Chaewon doesn't have to even have to look too hard to understand that Jinsoul - for some painfully coincidental reason - has chosen the restaurant where she happens to work to have her blind date.

Sighing, Chaewon puts away the worn note pad in the pocket of her shorts and carelessly slips her pen behind her ear. She shuts her eyes tightly, counting to five to quell the rampage that is bubbling inside, before putting on a plastic grin. "Hello, welcome to Cowboys and Guitars, my name is Jane and I'm your waitress for today." She runs through the mandatory speech quickly before the increasingly amused grin on Jinsoul's face can put her off. "Can I get you any drinks?"

A heavy silence makes itself comfortable between the three of them.

Jinsoul is very clearly trying to hold back her laughter, her eyes glittering joyously as her fingers slowly crawl across the probably sticky table for her phone.

Suddenly, the cowboy hat sitting on her head feels a little too heavy.

Chaewon is very familiar with that look. It always appears when Jinsoul is about to do something to purposefully piss one of the girls off.

A common misconception about the older girl is that she is soft and lovely and dainty when in reality, she's got a sewer for a brain and a demanding desire to tease. But Chaewon is used to it.

She whips out the prop gun from her leather holster and aims it at Jinsoul.

With a surprised screech, Jinsoul jolts back against the brown leather booth. "Ya!" Her voice trembles and Chaewon finds that it satiates the impulse to quit her job right that second. "What the ! Chae-"

Stepping forward so that the gun presses against Jinsoul's forehead, Chaewon widens her eyes. "Jane." She's already embarrassed enough. She doesn't need Jinsoul's date knowing her real name. "Will I have to call the Sheriff to lock you up?"

Chaewon has to admit that a major perk of working at a cowboy-themed restaurant is getting to lock up trashy customers (like Jinsoul) in the cell at the back of the restaurant if they get too bothersome. All under the pretense that it's part of the act that everyone in the restaurant has to play along to.

Including Chaewon.

" me-" Jinsoul grimaces and slaps the gun away from her face and kicking her shins. "That was uncalled for!"

"Aish- chill unnie! It's just a prop..." The kick doesn't hurt at all thanks to the extra protection from her leather boots. 

"Still! Put that thing away," Jinsoul glowers, relaxing into her seat.

Chaewon holsters the gun again and sees Seungkwan beginning to make his way over. He's donned in the stereotypical cowboy outfit with a cheap plastic badge glinting proudly on his chest. She holds back the visible cringe as he exaggeratedly kicks his feet out with every step he takes toward them. She waves Seungkwan away before he can intervene. The 'Sheriff' of the restaurant takes his job a little to seriously. (It's painfully obvious that his acting degree is his pride and soul.)

The older girl takes the time to look her up and down. "What are you doing here?"

Secretly grateful for the small break during her six hour shift, Chaewon leans her weight on one leg and rests her elbow on the back of the tall booth that separates the tables for privacy. "ion, obviously."

Jinsoul smacks her in the stomach with the small drinks leaflet that usually sits on the rustic menu holder. Chaewon slaps her hand away, glaring at her but only receiving the same treatment back. "You work here? Since when?"

"Yes, unnie, I work here- thanks for pointing out the obvious."

"Since when."

Shifting uncomfortably in the skimpy cowboy outfit, Chaewon pointedly avoids her intensely curious gaze.

The shame that nestles itself underneath layers and layers of apathy begins to rouse. Until three years ago, she lived a life encompassed with luxuries: not having to learn how to make a meal for herself, never having to lift a finger to do her own laundry, never having to dream of getting a part-time job at a (would be tacky if not for its booming popularity among Koreans) cowboy restaurant dressed as a derogatory version of women in those days. Yet somehow, life swallowed her up and spat her out here in the present, where she works part-time Monday to Saturday to make ends meet.

And in a dorm full of eleven other girls, she allows herself a pat on the back for managing to keep this under wraps for "five months," she tells Jinsoul.

Said girl's eyebrows shoot to her hairline. "Holy ."

Chaewon drops the facade for a second, the embarrassment of having been found out by one of the Moon Dorm girls sinking in. "But please, for both of our sakes, don't tell anyone about this."

Jinsoul stares at her hard.

Chaewon doesn't really crumble under the weight of her stare. She is completely aware that the older girl has a soft spot for her (for whatever reason - it's not like Chaewon has never really understood) so she wouldn't do anything to upset her purposefully. However, that doesn't mean that she can relax, because after almost three years of living with Jeong Jinsoul, she knows for a fact that her mind can run a little loose and her lips a lot looser. She still vividly remembers the horror on Haseul's face when Jinsoul had accidentally let slip that she wet her bed until she was eleven. (And as much as she enjoyed making fun of Haseul for it, she doesn't want to be the next Piss Baby.)

"Fine. But just so you know, you're doing my laundry for the next two weeks." Jinsoul pretends to be disappointed that she can't expose Chaewon as soon as she disappears to the kitchen. (Chaewon can tell by the soft, squishy look on her face that she really cares about her.)

Pursing her lips to hide the smile that dares show itself, Chaewon clears and returns to her act.

"As I was saying," she says in her best customer service voice, "what drinks would y'all like?"

She writes down Jinsoul's order, writing down a note for herself on the side to remember to tell Hayoung that she'll be the one making it (since she knows how much of a lightweight the older girl is and doesn't want another Jiw- another incident). Once she's done, she looks toward the forgotten man who had just been silently watching everything flash before him with wide eyes.

Jinsoul's date is incredibly flushed. Flushed to the point that Chaewon wants to call up Jungeun and let her know that she finally has a competitor for the nickname 'Red'. He is way too obvious with his timid once overs as he observes Chaewon's black leather boots, revealing short shorts and button-up crop top that compliment her figure a little too well for comfort.

The last thing that Chaewon is, is oblivious.

She throws him an unimpressed glare, eyebrow tugging up as if to ask him if he wants to fight.

"O-oh, right." He laughs nervously. (Is he sweating?) He clears his throat and rolls his shoulders back. "I'll have a Texas Roadhouse Cowboy Quencher."

She raises her eyebrows a little. "Good choice," she hums as she scribbles it down. "Pineapple is amazing."

Chaewon observes the pair in front of her as she goes about her waitress chores. There's an amusing dynamic between the two.

Jinsoul extends her hand out to her date, softly yet sternly telling him to take his coat off even though he's been sitting there sweating for the past ten minutes. Her demeanor is the same as when she forcibly inserts herself into Chaewon's day and decides to take care of her even though it's the last thing that she wants after a long and stressful day of studying and work. The guy, 'Mingi', quickly listens to her, doing so with an almost convincingly confident chuckle if it weren't for the voice crack that makes both him and Chaewon grimace.

"Thanks, noona." He quickly pulls at his crewneck which must be hugging him a little tight judging by the discomfort on his face.

"Don't worry." Jinsoul flashes a blinding smile and Mingi's cheeks tint red.

Chaewon is taken back to that day she, Jinsoul and Sooyoung had gone out for a coffee run and Jinsoul had described Sooyoung's grin as a 'first love smile'. She had watched Sooyoung charmingly grin at the poor teenage boy trying to write her name down on the side of the cup, only for him to fumble it, profusely apologize and offer a discount in his panic.

"Poor kid," Jinsoul laughs, taking her cup from the cardboard cup carrier. "That smile is deadly, HaSoo."

"I did nothing." Sooyoung says, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Chaewon scrunches her nose in mock disgust. "You're a child predator." 

(Of course, Chaewon ends up with a stinging pain at the back of her head.)

Jinsoul, Chaewon thinks, also possesses a 'first love smile'. Even though the older girl loves to praise the other girls, she's frustratingly stubborn when it comes to receiving compliments. Mingi compliments her outfit and Jinsoul swiftly deflects it back onto him, just like she always does. Chaewon thinks that maybe it's the stubborn humility that plays a part of her charm.

She interrupts their silence, saying, "you'll get your drinks in no time." Drifting away from the table, Chaewon sticks her notepad back into her pocket and tucks her pen in its place behind her ear. She swings by one of her other tables just as the customers are leaving giving her best smile. Mindlessly, she begins gathering the cups and skilfully stacking the plates. Distractedly, she watches them head to the door as she works. The streetlights shroud the crowded street outside as nightlife ensues.

Wow, it's already this late?

It's then that she notices how sore her feet are. How much her back aches. How uncomfortable the cowboy hat feels around her head. How hollowed out she has become on the inside.

Her heart twists.

She remembers the embarrassment that she feels at having been discovered by Jinsoul. It was already difficult enough coming back to the dorm at midnight almost every day, quietly shutting the door behind her to make sure she didn't wake anybody up from their much-needed sleep. It was even more difficult when Hyeju began staying up late to play on the console in the living room and asked her where she had been all night. Hyeju won't ever say it with her own words, but Chaewon knows that Hyeju is worried for her. She knows that the younger girl misses her. (She knows because she misses her too.)

It's not like none of the other girls work part-time; Heejin works at a cat cafe every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, Yerim's most recent part-time job is at a supermarket, and Vivi has a fashion internship. Even Jinsoul herself works diligently as a tutor for high schoolers.

So why is it that she feels so ashamed of herself?

"Please, you'll end up a failure working away your days at a bar." 

A tombstone sits in the centre of Chaewon's heart. On the stone, etched deep by the very claws that grip at her heart, are the very details and intricacies of her dreams. The engraved words are quoted from her confident defiance to her father's spite, though they mock her rather than comfort her. The claws tighten their hold on her every time she allows herself to submerge in the memory. It makes it a little harder to keep moving - a little harder to keep breathing. 

Guilt plagues her.

For the millionth time, she thinks about what fifteen-year-old Chaewon would say if she could see her now. What she would tell her. How she would apologize to her.

"Jane-"

Her fingertips are tingling. She knows what it means. She's grown familiar to the feeling, recently.

"Jane!"

Chaewon knows that her breaths are shallow. She knows that she should breathe.

"Chaewon-ah!"

She blinks hard, her vision blurring like static.

"Are you okay?" Minji asks gently, her gestures imitating her tone of voice. Almost like a light in the middle of a storm, her voice pulls her out of her disoriented stupor. She stands in front of her, a concerned look on her face. Her eyes are darting across her features, as if searching for anything that will let her know why Chaewon is standing in the middle of the restaurant blankly staring into space.

Distantly, Chaewon feels herself nod. "Yeah," she breathes.

A stern look falls on the older woman's face. "Come on." She guides Chaewon toward the kitchen and out of view of customers. Chaewon tries to disguise her ragged breaths, giving a weak smile. It doesn't fool her co-worker. "Panic attack?"

"No."

A pause.

Chaewon's huffs become more frequent.

"Okay, water then."

"No no... no I'm-" Another huff. "I'm fine, I- the order- I need to work."

"Chaewon." Minji gathers her into her arms. She squeezes her. "Breathe."

She doesn't have the time to feel awkward about it.

"Breath in- hey, hey... breath in... good. Now out again."

Chaewon doesn't know when she ended up resting her head against Minji's. When did her hat come off? She still needs to-

"I need to get the drinks."

"No, you need to rest."

Oh, she said that out loud.

"I'm gonna get you sat down in the break room-"

"Woah woah, what the hell is going on?" Through a blurred vision, Chaewon can see her boss approaching them from the kitchen. He dons casual clothes and an aloof attitude that disappears as soon as he finds his two employees in the hallway. Seo Eunkwang has always been a very laid-back person, which is the main reason why she decided to work at the tacky restaurant despite its theme. She knew that if she had to rely on anyone, Eunkwang was the best person to choose.

Chaewon straightens herself as much as she can, clenching her fists in hopes that her boss doesn't notice anything. "Nothing oppa, I'm just... catching my breath."

From her peripherals she can see Minji throwing her a disapproving glance.

"I'm sorry Chaewon, but you look like crap." Eunkwang's eyebrows are pulled tight. He approaches them quickly and helps her stand with a respectful hand on her shoulder. "You need to go home- I know you asked for extra shifts but this is the third-"

The words ring in her ears.

"You'll see. You'll come crawling back home crying for my help."

She can feel the shame inside of her frothing at the mouth, taking in her every mistake and greedily snatching it up for its own pleasure. The embarrassment at the idea that maybe her parents were right: she isn't good enough to do anything for herself (she never was, and she never will be) makes her face heat up uncomfortably.

"I need to work." Her voice is calm, her body shakes. "Please don't send me away, I need to work."

"I'm sorry." Eunkwang's eyes brim with pity. "I'm too worried about your health-"

"Please!"

The white noise in the background that had provided her with comfort comes to a stop. The sound of rowdy chatter, cutlery clanking against plates, Western music playing in the background, dulls to a quiet murmur as customers crane their heads in curiosity. Chaewon feels the pressure of their gazes resting on her. Crawling on her skin.

She can hear their thoughts.

"I'm sorry." With a deep understanding in his eyes, Eunkwang shakes his head regretfully.

"You're pathetic."

-

Chaewon can't stop thinking about what Yerim had said three weeks ago. Her speech has been replaying in her head, looped over and over again, every second that she isn't doing something to keep her mind busy. It haunts her. So much so that she wishes she liked the taste of alcohol a lot better so that she could drown her thoughts in soju like any normal twenty-something-year-old would do in her position. But she doesn't, so instead she resorts to being a workaholic.

God, if her parents could see her now...

Numb. That's how she feels.

Or doesn't feel.

Chaewon doesn't really know what's going on in that department.

"Your dreams or your family, Park Chaewon?"

Yerim chose her family, Chaewon chose her dreams.

The fight that night had been different. For the first time in her almost three years of living at the Moon Dorm, she saw Hyunjin and Heejin fall apart at the seams; she saw Vivi reach her limit and completely snap at one of the girls; she saw a once exuberant, 'innocent' Kim Jiwoo show the dark intricacies of her personality and lose her . Chaewon doesn't remember a time there had been so much pent up aggression in one room (she had felt it at the time - bubbling up and waiting for a spark so that it could blow up in their faces), not even when she and Jungeun got into spats about finance.

Finance... right.

Chaewon's heart skipped erratically.

She recognises it now. The suffocating pressure of expectations gripping her by the throat and depriving her of oxygen - the same one that had had its boot pressed against her entire life. It's laughable that she ever thought it had disappeared.

After that night three weeks ago, Jungeun had texted her to let her know that she had two extra weeks to get her share of the rent to her. Two extra weeks that - in spite of Chaewon's frustration at Jungeun for their disputes - she knew were far too generous. Guilt had immediately seeped in. She had known for a while that she was allowing herself to be lazy; taking Jungeun's criticisms was easier than working two part-time jobs. It was left unsaid at the time but Jungeun took care of her share of the rent without having to be asked.

So Chaewon asked Eunkwang for more shifts.

If one of her co-workers fell sick and asked if someone could cover their shift, Chaewon would jump at the opportunity, even heading straight to the restaurant if it was on late notice. Her schedule used to be empty on Saturdays, which she would spent lying in bed playing Animal Crossing with Yerim. Now she spends almost the entire day at the restaurant, and if Eunkwang finds out and kicks her out, she swings by the ajumma's tteokbokki tent to work after her shift.

Having been sent home early by a concerned Eunkwang tonight, ("You're working too much, Chaewon, it's not healthy.") she knows that she will get a text later tonight letting her know that she won't be working most of those extra shifts that he had scheduled her for.

Which meant that her finance plan was screwed.

Tears prick her eyes. "." Nails digging into the palms of her hands, Chaewon presses her head against the headrest of her seat. 

Wordlessly, Jinsoul places a hand on her tense shoulder. It doesn't provide any comfort, though it pulls Chaewon out of the spiral her mind is heading down.

It's easy to see it now. It's easy to see what her parents meant when they said that 'dreams are for the poor'. She spent her entire life living with everything handed to her, and could have easily continued to live on that path. Destiny had been written out for her in her father's handwriting. Park Chaewon would be the successor to the family business, which would continue to prosper no thanks to the Princess sitting at the throne.

She threw that away the moment she stepped through that doorway.

Was it worth it?

She doesn't think she can answer that.

-

"Could you grab our bags, please?" Jinsoul has an arm wrapped around her waist, holding her protectively even though Chaewon has tried numerous times to shake her off. She gave up the moment that Jinsoul shot her a harrowing glare.

"Of course," Mingi says, startling. He fumbles the handle of the car door a little, throwing a sheepish grin in their direction that shows exactly how nervous he is right now. (If Chaewon weren't in the middle of an existential crisis crossed with a mental breakdown, she would tease Jinsoul for ending up with a guy that has suspiciously similar mannerisms to Jungeun.) "I'll bring them up for you."

Jinsoul almost doesn't remember to thank him, far too focused on getting Chaewon to hold onto her shoulder for support. Mingi doesn't look like he minds too much, though, because he watches Jinsoul's quiet determination with something that Chaewon likes to call 'simp energy'.

Shame keeps building inside her. Even though she remembers being handed everything that she every wanted and needed her whole life, the words that her parents had fed her throughout her childhood cheapen every gift that had been given. How her procrastination makes her a lazy and bad student. That she shouldn't bother seeking higher education when she wanted so vehemently to drop out in high school. The fact that they're dreading the day that the family business gets passed down to her. How pathetic she is. 

She can't even get through one panic attack without having to be sent home early and dragged across their front porch by Jinsoul.

Her fingertips begin to tingle again. Inhaling sharply, Chaewon mutters, "I don't need to be carried."

"I don't care, you practically fainted literally almost half-an-hour ago, I am not letting you go." Conviction is evident in the older girl's voice, her lips set in a thin line as if she's preparing herself for war. Stubbornly, she pulls her waist closer to her body so that it's easier to move, their hips bumping together in her haste to get her in the dorm as quick as possible. Jinsoul is worked up and can get snappy when she's stressed out, which Chaewon isn't going to blame her for, so she lets her support what she thinks is her entire weight. "Just- just let me take care of you- for once."

As if to make her statement clear, she pulls the long trench coat that she had thrown over Chaewon tighter around her body.

Heartache makes her clench her eyes shut. There's something about Jinsoul's stubborn attitude to taking care of her that makes her feel like a child again.

A small voice in the back of her head whispers, 'I wish Jinsoul would have been my sister'. She tries to quiet it but when she looks at Jinsoul's determined expression, the protective nature in which sets itself, and the constant squeeze of her hip in reassurance, it says, 'if only you had been in my life when I needed you'.

She's here now, Chaewon thinks.

Chaewon sinks into Jinsoul's quiet solace.

They walk up the steps onto the porch with Mingi in tow (who towers over the two of them easily with his height). The faint sound of the bulb buzzing in the lamppost and the quiet summer air make the lack of conversation deafening.

Keys clang together, the keychain of that blue lizard from Frozen 2 that Jinsoul has kept as a gift from Yerim swinging as she tries to open the door. ("It looks just like you!")

Chaewon stares at the front step leading into the dorm. A twisting sensation riddles her chest the longer that she stares. She recognizes the chip in the stones from where they had accidentally dropped that TV stand. Hyunjin, Chaewon, Heejin and Vivi trying to get through the front door vividly plays in her mind. After having lugged it through Seoul for twenty minutes, eventually one of their grips had to fail. The corner of the TV stand had cracked down on the steps, leaving behind a dent on the front steps. (The chipped corner can still be seen from the couch to this day.) 

It's not just the front step. Everywhere she looks, there is a memory associated to at least one of the girls.

"Okay," Jinsoul quietly cheers to herself after managing to open the door with one hand, a habit of encouraging herself with small words muttered under her breath.

Pulling away from Jinsoul, Chaewon steps through the threshold of the dorm. She's grateful that Jinsoul had given her the coat to wear, because she's not too sure what she would do if the other girls saw her in her ridiculous work outfit. In all that haste to get her home and in bed, Jinsoul had barely given her enough time to sign out from work, nevertheless change out of her work clothes like she usually does before heading home.

She gets to taking her shoes off and putting them in her designated space on the rack (mostly because it's habit at this point, partly because she doesn't think she can handle a lecture from Jungeun), before she hears a voice call out to her.

It's 10pm on a Wednesday night, so Chaewon expects most of the girls to already be asleep for lectures tomorrow. Those who aren't are Sooyoung, who is on another 'work trip', and Vivi, who works late at the fashion internship on Wednesdays. Thus, she's surprised when she hears Yeojin.

"You're home early." Yeojin watches from the couch, already in her pink pajamas and her knees bundled up to her chest. Her eyebrows lift in mild surprise, and Chaewon briefly wonders if Hyeju isn't the only one who has noticed her recently frequent absences. "That trench coat does not suit you girl, you look like you're gonna fl- AH!"

Before Yeojin can finish her words, she gets smacked in the back of the head with a rolled up stack of papers. Haseul had silently paced into the living room from the direction of Room 1, the look on her face letting Chaewon know that Jinsoul had texted the older girl about the situation beforehand. Chaewon is too tired to get upset about it.

"The hell was that for?" Yeojin scowls, glaring at her sister's back.

Promptly, Haseul ignores her and instead beckons Chaewon into the living room. "I saved you some dinner," she says, gently placing a hand on her elbow when she walks closer, "it'll get back some of your energy, trust me."

Chaewon nods.

"Hi Jinsoul-unnie," Yeojin says, hooking her hand on the back of the couch and hanging to the side so that she has a view of said girl. "I thought you had another blind date- oh! Yo, is that guy?"

All eyes turn to look at Mingi, who is awkwardly standing (towering) behind Jinsoul with an anxious air about him. (If Chaewon were interested in men, she'd think that the way that he confidently carries Jinsoul's handbag on his shoulder would be attractive. Except she isn't. She still respects him, nonetheless.) He looks small, which is hilarious because he is easily 6'0 and could be compared to a giant among dwarves standing in the Moon Dorm. More than anything, he looks like a scared puppy as he looks toward Jinsoul for reassurance.

When Jinsoul doesn't say anything, (her brain has a tendency of lagging at the most opportune moments) Mingi gulps nervously. "Uh, I'm Song Mingi," he says, "I'm- uh... Jinsoul-noona's... f-friend?"

A playful grin enters Yeojin's expression as she notices the same nervousness that Chaewon has. At the same time that Yeojin teasingly says, "Oppa, are you sure you're not Jinsoul's boyfriend?", they all hear a voice coming from Room 2's direction.

"Sorry, Song Mingi-ssi, no men allowed in the dorm."

It's almost too perfect.

Chaewon wants to laugh at the timing.

Jungeun has an unreadable look on her face, though Chaewon doesn't really need to have more than two brain cells to piece two and two together. Jungeun is jealous. Not that anyone else can probably read it - including Jungeun herself. (Chaewon truly wonders if she's the only one with. a functioning gaydar.) 

Her arms are crossed over her chest sternly, the frown on her face pinching the skin between her eyebrows in that familiar way that the Moon Dorm girls love teasing her about. Although she had directed her words at Mingi (poor guy), she's staring right at Jinsoul. Her left eyebrow twitches upward as if to challenge the older girl into saying anything to fight her on it.

Surprisingly, instead of fighting back like she usually would (because that expression on Jungeun's face is incredibly irritating when you're on the receiving end), Jinsoul turns to Mingi and gives him a tired, but pleasant smile. "Thank you for everything, Mingi." She takes her handbag and Chaewon's backpack from him, his movements a little awkward as he tries to help her with the task. "Make sure you get home safe- I'll see you around."

"Sure, Noona."

Mingi then does a weird dance of leaning in to kiss Jinsoul's cheek, thinking better of it, leaning back in for a hug, thinking better of it again, and finally awkwardly stretching out a hand for a handshake.

Which is interrupted by a clearing of the throat. (Jungeun.)

"Right, yeah." Mingi clears his throat, taking his outstretched hand and rubbing the back of his neck with it.  He steps back towards the door, stumbling a little over a familiar pair of sneakers (Hyunjin's), and bows slightly to them. "It was nice meeting you all, good night."

In favor of watching Mingi stumble out of their dorm, Chaewon opts for watching Jungeun like a hawk. Jungeun's demeanor loses some of its tension as the guy closes the front door behind him, and her frown softens into a disapproving grimace that reads 'I don't like this, why the hell is Jinsoul bringing guys home?' Because even with the countless blind dates that Jinsoul has gone on, she has never brought back any of them to the dorm (so it must really bother Jungeun, Chaewon thinks).

Chaewon wonders how nobody else notices these things.

"Chae?"

She's distracted from the romance drama about to go down in their very own living room by the sound of Hyeju's voice. It brings a relief to her inner turmoil that Chaewon has been unknowingly seeking.

Hyeju emerges confused from Room 3, taking her headphones off (a process which is way too attractive for her own good). She shuffles her socked feet across the floorboards, a frown on her face that lets Chaewon know she's bothered by something. "I thought you got off work at 11:30?"

Ignoring the incredulous, "Yaja time? Since when?" that comes from Yeojin's general direction, Chaewon gives up her facade for a second and allows her true feelings to show.

"Hye," she huffs, reaching her hand out to the younger girl.

Said girl pushes her concerns down with the blank look that overtakes her features. Hyeju's hand slips into hers, soft, warm and reassuring, and tugs at her. Her arms wrap around her frame, pulling her body against her front in a manner that is nerve-inducing as well as calming - all at once. The familiar scent of coconut and vanilla and linen soothes her senses. Chaewon undoubtedly melts into her arms.

"I have the..." Jiwoo - dressed in an oversized maroon shirt with the logo of their uni printed onto the front of it - stops just outside of Room 2, her hand clasping onto the door frame as if she has instinctively stopped herself from walking further. The silence the she's met with (as Jinsoul and Jungeun pause their ongoing activity of beating around the bush) is jarring when the only thing that continues to make a sound is Yeojin's hilariously timed drama.

"She took the antidote- that !"

Gulping, Jiwoo lowers the hand that holds a small medicine bottle. Chaewon finds shameless pleasure in the way that Jiwoo immediately becomes self-aware, her eyes meeting hers.

Things have been tense for the past three weeks. The very next day after the argument, everyone had agreed to rearrange who slept in which room to avoid any further disagreements ("for the time being," Yves had said, an unreadable expression on her face). Yerim had moved into Room 3 in exchange for Jiwoo, who had moved into Room 2. Heejin and Yeojin had each swapped places, which meant Yeojin now resided in Room 1. No more changes were made.

Chaewon hadn't been too shocked by Jiwoo's blatant homophobia. She understood that the girl had grown up within a conservative family and had spent her entire life being told that she should have a boyfriend, and she should want to spend her time gossiping about boys, and to plan her wedding day years before. (It would also explain Jungeun's obliviousness when it came to her own feelings.) It was only logical that Jiwoo would experience some internalized homophobia.

It had still stung though. Hence, why she had stirred out of spite.

(She feels bad for the evident hurt she had caused Jinsoul with her comment, but it had been worth it to see the flare of green in Jiwoo's eyes.)

However, Chaewon hasn't had much chance to experience the tension in the dorm first-hand because of her schedule. She's been relying almost entirely on Yeojin's 'Day Reviews', where she rates how her day goes depending on the awkwardness levels of each day and telling her what tense interactions happen at the dorm when she's gone. They all vary between Yerim practically running out of the dorm when Jungeun comes out of Room 2, to Heejin and Hyunjin's loud argument in the laundry room.

Chaewon's absence means that she hasn't spoken to Jiwoo since that night.

"I have the medicine." Jiwoo lifts the small white bottle in her hand. She avoids Chaewon's gaze, instead looking in Haseul's direction.

"Good," Haseul says with composure, "thank you Chuu."

With a tight-lipped smile, Jiwoo shuffles past Chaewon and Hyeju toward Haseul to give her the bottle.

It's pretty ed how easily everything can fall apart. All because of an argument that should have never happened in the first place - things that should have never been thought. It bothers her more than she would like to admit.

Although when she had first chosen the Moon Dorm as her place of residence she hadn't cared about who she would end up living with, she knows that from the moment she had understood the strange dynamics she had thrown aside her apathy. Chaewon knows that she's cold and up front and prefers to sit precariously on the roof of the building instead of sharing the same space as them, but she the feelings she harbors for them are warm and deep and make her dream of a life where these girls are her sisters. (Bar Hyeju. What she feels for Hyeju is much more different.)

She doesn't like the atmosphere in the dorm. The silence and calm.

It reminds her too much of shackles and vines.

Chaewon knows that if no one has noticed how the Moon Dorm has unintentionally become Seoul's Queer Headquarters, then they will definitely not understand that Jiwoo - in spite of her disgustingly homophobic remarks - is queer herself. And, having been through the process of coming to terms with her rather unconventional uality as someone who was raised with pillars upon pillars of expectations, Chaewon can't help but feel for the older girl. Can't help but feel for everyone else.

She supposes that there comes a point where criticizing her roommates on their ineptness is rather cruel.

Time to cause some chaos.

Grabbing Jiwoo's wrist as she walks by, a rush of adrenaline shoots through her body. Jiwoo's eyes involuntarily widen, both surprised at the touch and fervently sentimental.

"I'm a lesbian."

Chaewon can feel the jaws drop.

"And that's okay."

Chaewon doesn't give herself enough time to fully register the thick tears that line Jiwoo's eyes. Nor does she check to see what Hyeju's reaction is, or the way that Jinsoul, Jungeun and Yeojin all stare at her like she has just told them that she isn't 'Park Chaewon', she's really Nicki Minaj. From her peripherals in the direction of Room 1, she sees Vivi. The small grin on her face emphasizes the feeling of walking away from an explosion.

It registers in Chaewon's mind, then, that to lose everything - dreams and all - to be able to be with the family in this dorm, is the greatest sacrifice she has made.

And it's worth it, Chaewon thinks.

"I'm hungry. Let's eat."