»-hyunie? Hello, Baekhyun? Are you dreaming again.«, I heard my favorite voice ask, which made me blink and shake my head several times in a row. A pair of dark eyes looked at me. 

The thing with the newspaper article and with my mother was a month ago now. Meanwhile it had become a bit quieter around my family and me, although there were still people talking about it. Especially at school. Mainly because the divorce of my parents was discussed and disseminated in public. To say that it was a War of the Roses in a class of its own would have been an understatement.

But at least I had people at my side who stood by me in this difficult time. My father, for example, who had moved with me into a small rented flat just outside the district. For nights on end we talked, more openly than ever before. He talked a lot about Yujin and what she was like then, before fate had changed her life forever. 

And I discovered completely new sides to her, so different and unknown that sometimes I could not even believe that this loving, fun-loving and warm-hearted woman from his stories was actually once my mother. I regretted very much that I never got to know these sides of her, because secretly I had always wished for someone like that. A mother who loved me unconditionally. A mother who cared about me.

Just someone I could feel safe with. Even though I had my dad, who never saw in me anyone but his son. For whom I had always been a part of the family and although this fact made me happy, really so incredibly happy, the knowledge that I was just a stranger's child for my mother was still unbearable. Especially when I thought about it in weak, lonely moments. 

However, that was something I had no influence on anyway and will never have one. After all, I could not force her to love me, nor did I want any feigned love from her, just as she had once led the world to believe. A true mother would probably be denied to me forever and no matter how long it took, one day I would accept this fact - I was sure of that. The hope that Yujin would one day change had long been lost.

As for my biological parents - well, I was not quite sure what to think of all this. My dad had told me their names and the place where they were buried. He told me what happened that day eighteen years ago, how the accident happened and also how the adoption took place. But nothing more. I didn't know what kind of people they were, what they looked like and had no idea if I would have grown up with them in a happy family or not - but in principle it didn't matter. 

Because this 'what-if' had never given