Donghae leaned back against the couch, a glass of whiskey at hand as he stared intently at the television. His face was completely devoid of any emotion other than his eyes that mirrored the grim feeling he was feeling inside. He took a sip of his drink then focused his attention back on what he was watching. 

"Hae~ Stop!" Hyukjae was covering his face on the screen while the camera shook as the person recording tried to take his hands away from his face. "Aish...what are you doing?"

"Hyukkie, I want to see your face. Come on, stop hiding."

"Yah, Lee Donghae," Hyukjae was now pouting and glaring fiercely at the camera which caused Donghae to chuckle lightly seeing that face. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling of wanting to hold Hyukjae and kiss him, which is exactly what he did in the video. Donghae had placed the camera down on top of their coffee table as he showed himself on the screen taking Hyukjae in his arms and kissing his cheeks deeply. Donghae's grip on his glass tightened; anger and jealousy rising in him as he continued to watch his time with Hyukjae in the past. 

"You're so adorable, Hyukkie."

"Stop recording me and go to work."

"But I don't want to miss anything that you do. I wanna watch you when I get home."

"You weirdo," Hyukjae tried to push Donghae away from him but the latter simply brought his arms around his waist and hugged him tight. "Aish, Lee Donghae let me go."

"I don't want to!" Donghae tightened his hold on Hyukjae causing him to fall back in his lap which gave him easy access to peck at him another time. "I'll never let you go."

"You idiot." Hyukjae teased but did bring his face close against Donghae's. "You need to go to work," pecked his lips then looked towards the camera and said, "and I need this for my class. Stop recording nonsense stuff cause you're wasting memory space."

Hyukjae's face was now a lot closer to the camera but instead of turning it off he simply went behind the camera and brought it closer to Donghae who was pouting. "Now, say goodbye and I'll see you afterwork."

"Only if you let me record us later." Donghae's cheeky smile was met with a hit on the head and then the camera went out of focus with only Donghae's pained grunts and Hyukjae's scolding voice echoing in the background.

Donghae kept watching until the screen went black and he was once again left alone in the apartment and staring at his own reflection. Taking a deep breathe, Donghae didn't even think twice before downing the rest of his drink in one go. He grabbed his phone and turned it on only to stare at his home screen of Hyukjae. His bright smile staring back at him and before he knew it a tear fell on his screen staining the glass and smudging Hyukjae's face. He quickly grabbed his shirt and wiped it clean. Once he was sure that his phone was clean and smudge free, he stared at Hyukjae intently one more time with his thumb grazing over his face. 

"I miss you," Donghae whispered, his heart aching once again. "Why haven't you come get me?"

A few more minutes of silence lingered between Donghae and his phone before it was interrupted by someone ringing his doorbell. Heaving a heavy sigh. Donghae reluctantly put his phone away and stood up to answer the door. It was no surprise that it was none other than Heechul and Hankyung once again bringing him his dinner. They have been coming into his house every night for dinner for the past three years ever since Hyukjae died. He stopped arguing with Heechul about it and just let them do whatever they wanted since there really wasn't much that he could do anyways. 

"Hey, Donghae," Hankyung greeted. "How are you?"

"Same." He answered while grabbing his drinking glass from before and filling it up halfway with another round of whiskey. "How's the studio?"

"It's alright." He answered while grabbing some plates from the cupboard and setting them down on the dining table. "Our new hire seems to be settling in well."

"Yeah, if he ever stops flirting with you," Heechul remarked bitterly. "I swear the next time he touches you in front of me, I'll rip those weird extensions off him that he'd wished he was wearing a wig instead."

Donghae chuckled while taking a sip of his drink. Heechul noted the bottle of whiskey that Donghae bought last week was now more than halfway done but didn't comment on it. He's known to choose his battles with the latter at this point and drinking his way to a peaceful slumber has been one he chose not to fight about. 

Once Donghae saw Hankyung was all done setting the table, he took the seat opposite of him and sat next to Heechul. They've brought him Chinese and Donghae immediately recognized it as the one Hyukjae frequented whenever he craved food and was too lazy to cook. He's avoided it ever since and was trying hard to not overreact. Heechul and Hankyung both noticed, however, how he froze and stared at Hyukjae's favorite dish in front of him. 

"Donghae," Heechul placed a comforting hand on his arms causing Donghae to look at him through glassy  eyes. "It's okay, Donghae. It's just food."

Processing Heechul's words in his head, Donghae blinked really quickly and plastered on a smile. A broken smile he's practiced to show everyone he's okay even when he's not. One that shows he's moving on even when his heart was still breaking into smaller pieces and slowly into dust. 

"Yeah, just food..." Donghae murmured before grabbing for his glass of whiskey and gulping it down. Slamming the glass down on the table, Donghae hastily grabbed the utensils in front of him and randomly grabbed for the dishes and placing it on his plate, obviously avoiding the two sets of dumpling in front of him. Hankyung and Heechul both watched him closely. Both feeling helpless and worried for Donghae. 

Donghae, even though he could feel their stares on him, completely ignored them and just started stuffing his face. Not caring how pitiful or ridiculous he may look. He just wanted to get dinner over with as soon as possible so he can go back on laying down on the floor next to Hyukjae's photo and cry himself to sleep. At least in his dreams, he could still enjoy hearing Hyukjae's laughter and hold him in his arms. 

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"Unknown male. Possible drown victim. Administered CPR on-site and was stable for a few minutes but fell unconscious. Weak pulse and need an immediate IV and oxygen at 25%. Notify neuro and call Dr. Park for an MRI. We need to X-Ray his chest and make sure all the fluids are out of his lungs. Stat! Let's go!"

Hyukjae was wheeled in to the emergency room and was immediately assessed and transferred into one of the hospital beds. Nurses were checking his arm for a possible vein to insert the IV needle into and another was listening on his chest. Once they were sure his heart was still beating normally, they grabbed the oxygen tank and wrapped the mask around his head before leaving the room to call the other doctors to check on him. 

Hyukjae's fingers twitched hearing all the commotion around him. His head felt heavy and there was something around  mouth and nose that felt unusually cold. Slowly opening his eyes, Hyukjae squinted when he was met with something really bright. He turned his head to the side and faintly recognized the image of scrubs and other machinery. His eyesight was still blurred and his head throbbed in pain. His entire body felt heavy with his chest constricting every now and then from his rapid heartbeat.

"Dr. Park, John Doe is in room 8. Neuro and X-Ray has been requested. He was picked up by the coast guard from the Han River and brought in three minutes ago."

What's going on? Hyukjae tried to say but his lips wouldn't move and the only thing they heard from him was a loud groan. 

"Oh, he's awake. Sir? Sir, how are you-....Hyukjae?"

Hyukjae moved his body lightly hearing his name get called out and when he shifted lightly to the right he vaguely recognized Leeteuk's worried face in front of him. 

"Doctor? Do you know him?"

"No. No.This-This isn't possible," Leeteuk muttered but the longer he looked at Hyukjae the more he couldn't deny that lying on the bed in front of him was his dongsaeng. "Where-Where did you find him?" Leeteuk looked at the nurse who stared back at him lost. "WHERE?!"

"Uh-uhm...I-I-I'm not sure." She stuttered a little worried and afraid of Leeteuk's state of mind. 

"Who brought him here?"

"I'm not sure. It says here emergency personnel rolled him