Eunbi approached a grave, flowers in her hand. She has visible greying hair and wrinkles, yet that didn't hide her smile. Her smile that held so much pain yet overflowed with so much happiness at the same time.

She still wonders why she's still in this world. How many young people die a day from accidents. So much youth wasted and gone yet she was still here. 

It was beautiful today, and the sunset was worth living for. Eunbi could only mourn and wish that her one and only light and daughter was still here with her.

She seats herself on a rock beside the grave and traces and name of her daughter's name. Jang Wonyoung. Her daughter was her only light, as her father had left the both of them when she was still so young. She kept his last name, but she also kept her mother's love. Eunbi made sure to shower her with love everyday. Sometimes she wonders if it was ever enough. Was it ever enough?

She could feel tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, but she just smiles and closes her eyes beside the grave. She rests her head on the piece of stone and thinks.

Thinks back to when she could still feel happy and free.

✿✿✿

Eunbi was overjoyed when she was finally able to hold her daughter. Her daughter's head rests softly on her arms as she sleeps peacefully. Eunbi pats her daughter's head softly. Her husband was still by her side, smiling softly at her.

Even with the complications of marriage, a child could reunite anybody. 

Eunbi names her Wonyoung.

✿✿✿

Eunbi hears the door slam as her legs give up on her. She falls to the ground with a loud thud and lays there. 

Wonyoung is crying loudly and Eunbi just thinks. Thinks about how her husband had just declared that he was leaving. She thinks about how Wonyoung won't have a father. 

She hates life. It sets you up for failure. 

Eunbi gets up and walks over to Wonyoung's crib. Wonyoung has many tears rolling down her cheeks and snot all over her. Eunbi watches as Wonyoung wiggles and takes deep breaths after each cry. She then takes Wonyoung and holds her, engulfing her with every last bit of her warmth and love.

Yet as Eunbi runs out, Wonyoung always gives her ten times more love and warmth. 

Wonyoung hushes and goes back to sleeping softly in Wonyoung's arms. Her tiny body that weighs nearly nothing yet means and matters so much. 

Eunbi could feel the whole world on her shoulders, but as she watches Wonyoung, she could feel that weight being lifted.

✿✿✿

Eunbi fixes Wonyoung's collar on her uniform. 

"Mom I'm grown aweady! I can do it myself!" the young Wonyoung in kindergarten exclaims.

Eunbi chuckles. She brushes some dirt off Wonyoung's uniform and then lets her go. She watches as Wonyoung runs to the school, casually chatting with some other kindergarteners who also start chatting with her. 

How easy it is to be a kid. You're so oblivious yet so joyful, enjoying every last bit of your life. You're so creative and have so many ideas, always ready to do them all, ignoring the consequences.

Eunbi loves her. Yet she's sad. She's sad because now Wonyoung's life is starting, and she's on a journey to reach a point where she doesn't need guidance anymore.

Eunbi leaves Wonyoung and travels to work, feeling all giddy and fluffy inside thinking of the thought of picking Wonyoung up from school. She's always wanted to greet her daughter after a day of not seeing her.

And that comes slower than ever, but when it hit 3PM, Eunbi got up from her seat and told her boss that she was leaving. She catches the bus and travels to Wonyoung's school. There, she greets a Wonyoung who was waiting alone, surrounded by kids whose parents came to pick them up.

Eunbi stares at her sadly and approaches her. "Wonyoung?" she asks softly. She could see tears from Wonyoung's eyes. Wonyoung points to her knee, and Eunbi's eyes are directed to her knee. 

It was bleeding, scraped. She had probably fell down. Eunbi panics and hurries Wonyoung to the bus station as she calms the Wonyoung who's about to cry again. The bus couldn't come any sooner, but at the end of the day, Eunbi managed to heal Wonyoung's boo boo. 

Eunbi finally put Wonyoung to sleep as she sets her alarm to wake up to get Wonyoung ready. She sighs. 

It's hard, but in exchange, she would receive a gift from her beautiful daughter (which was herself, as her existence was already a gift itself).

✿✿✿

("Mom? Why you not smiling?" Wonyoung inquires as she looks at her mother's frown. Eunbi flashes a fake smile to her daughter.

"Don't worry about it Wonyoung. I was just thinking," Eunbi reassures Wonyoung, patting her head. 

Wonyoung pouts. "Make to smile okay? I like it when mom smiles!")

✿✿✿

"Boys at my school just don't know when to shut up!" Wonyoung exclaims loudly as she enters her home, getting back from middle school.

Eunbi was cooking but turns her head immediately when she hears Wonyoung swear. 

"Wonyo, you know you can't say that around the house right? It's not a very nice thing to say," Eunbi tells Wonyoung kindly as she cuts the carrots carefully. Wonyoung only throws herself on the couch and takes out her phone.

"I know, I know! Also, mom, can you buy me a new phone? All my friends have the newest phones and I have this crappy old flip phone," Wonyoung asks Eunbi as she checks her messages for any messages from her friends.

Eunbi throws the cut carrots into the pot. "Wonyoung, I told you already. Phones are expensive and we don't have enough money for that."

Wonyoung scoffs. "Why can't your work just give you more money? It's not like it's hard to ask for more either."

Eunbi only listens as Wonyoung rants about how her friends have much better parents and families.

"You say you love me but you can't even buy me a phone? What kind of mom are you?!" Wonyoung yells. 

Eunbi winces at her outburst. She doesn't want to cry, but her tears were already out. Wonyoung pants heavily. Then, she runs. She runs upstairs to her room and slams the door. Eunbi sniffs softly, not wanting her daughter to see her vulnerable side. Even though she knew that Wonyoung saw her tears and heard her crying, she doesn't want to let Wonyoung know that she had hurt her feelings. She wanted to stay strong. She didn't want Wonyoung to feel guilty for anything because she had done nothing wrong. But Eunbi couldn't help it. It just hurts so much hearing that from someone you truly love and care for.

Eunbi finishes up her cooking and sets the table. She wants to call Wonyoung down to eat, but her voice wouldn't let her. Everytime she opened to say something, only sobs came out.

And so, Eunbi walks quietly up the stairs and to Wonyoung's door. She knocks on it softly and waits for a reply. There was no reply.

Eunbi sits down by her door. 

"Wonyoung? Wonyoung please answer me," Eunbi begs as her voice cracks whenever she says her cherished one's name. 

And with no reply, Eunbi leaves and goes back downstairs and seats herself at the table, which had three seats.

She doesn't start eating until her daughter arrives. She waits for seconds, minutes, and finally, an hour passes and Wonyoung finally comes downstairs.

The two are awkward and silent at first. Wonyoung pulls a chair to across the table from Eunbi and seats herself. Eunbi then starts eating. Wonyoung observes Eunbi's plate and the dishes around her. Eunbi doesn't know what her daughter is thinking, but she just hopes that Wonyoung feels better.

The two girls eat, and then Wonyoung clears . Eunbi looks up from her plate and at her daughter.

"Mom... I...." Wonyoung looks to the side, avoiding Eunbi's eyes, She's hesitant. "I... I'm sorry for saying all of that.... to you.. I know you do truly love me and that you do work hard. You work harder than anybody I know and I really really do love you too. So... uh, I'm sorry."

Wonyoung's cheeks turn red as she pouts slightly, embarrassed that she had to let her pride down. She looks at her mother to see if she was mad or anything of the sort, but only meets Eunbi's bright smile.

Eunbi's eyes overflow with tears. She can't respond properly with words, but her tears say it all.

✿✿✿

(That night, Eunbi goes to sleep crying in joy. She cries and cries until she starts hyperventilating. Wonyoung hears her and rushes to her room.

"Mom! Why are you breathing so hard?! Be calm, calm.. mom!" she says, not knowing what to do. Eunbi slows her breathing for Wonyoung and sniffs.

"I'm fine, Wonyo. Go back to sleep for me," Eunbi tells Wonyoung with a reassuring smile. Wonyoung doesn't quite believe her but obeys anyway.

Eunbi sighs. How could she worry her daughter like that? She lays back on her bed, thinking of how Wonyoung had told her that she loved her. Perhaps all her effort hadn't gone to waste after all. 

She goes to sleep with a smile.)

✿✿✿

"Wake up Wonyoung! You're nearly late for the entrance ceremony!" Eunbi yells, turning off the alarm that Wonyoung slept through and smacking her shoulder.

Wonyoung yelps as she wakes up immediately, rubbing her shoulder. "Gosh mom! Fine, fine!" Wonyoung gets up and hurries to do her morning routine.

"Don't forget to wear your uniform!" Eunbi reminds Wonyoung. Wonyoung rushes to her closet to find her high school uniform. She puts it on and rushes downstairs, looking as if she had just woken up.

"Gosh Wonyoung, you've gotten taller than me!" Eunbi notes as she struggles to fix Wonyoung's collar.

Wonyoung chuckles. "You're the one that's always telling me to drink more milk to get taller! How do you think I'm this tall now?"

Eunbi smiles. She sees Wonyoung off as Wonyoung runs to catch the bus. Eunbi thinks about the time she has left. She's still young of course, but now she's old and can't keep up with Wonyoung's youth.

Eunbi closes the door and prepares Wonyoung's school lunch for tomorrow. 

She doesn't have the money to buy anything tastier for Wonyoung, so she makes kimbap. Kimbap with love. Eunbi knows that it's not much but she's willing to do it for Wonyoung. She smiles and thinks of how successful Wonyoung is going to be. She's already so beautiful and tall, she's going to be a big hit. 

Eunbi doesn't forget to prepare banana milk for Wonyoung as that's the only drink in the fridge.

She finishes up preparing Wonyoung's lunch and sits down on the couch. She wanted to rest. She had no work today and had already planned for a stroll at the park.

However, she certainly didn't expect today's unexpected event.

Eunbi goes to the convenience store to buy some groceries, and hears the TV inside.

"A car has crashed into a local city bus just earlier this morning. More than 5 people have been found dead, including popular idol singer Jo Yuri, and many high school students from Produce High....."

And Eunbi drops to the ground. The cashier asks if she's okay, but everything is blurred. Her eyes are glued to the TV and she can't hear anything else but the deceased high school students being listed, including her one and only daughter.

✿✿✿

(Eunbi arrives home and runs to the kitchen. She opens a drawer and pulls out a kitchen knife. She's panting heavily and tears are running down her cheeks like never before. Her heart is beating so fast.

Yet she hesitates. She holds the knife to her neck, but she couldn't gather the courage to do it.

She drops the knife and drops to the floor. She sits there, not knowing what to do. Eunbi then gets up and sits in the living room, which is full of Wonyoung's school pictures. She stares at them, wondering how Wonyoung would've been had she lived.

And Eunbi could only hate herself for not taking care of Wonyoung better.)

✿✿✿

Eunbi wakes up the next day. She could hear Wonyoung's school alarm going off and it only reminds her of a certain someone. 

She gets up to turn it off and looks at the empty bed. Eunbi then goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and sees Wonyoung's toothbrush. Eunbi couldn't handle the pain. She didn't want to cry. But she remembers that her light isn't here anymore.

Eunbi walks downstairs to the sight of Wonyoung's pictures. And Eunbi breaks down right then and there. Her heart hurts. It hurts so badly. Now that her daughter is gone, her only family.

Then she's reminded of Wonyoung. And Eunbi forces herself to smile. 

Because her daughter likes it most when she's smiling.

✿✿✿

It's been 6 years since the incident, and Eunbi could only wish for Wonyoung to come back. Eunbi had fortunately gotten financially better and bought the newest phone released.

Eunbi sets down the flowers and the phone beside Wonyoung's grave and bows. Tears were already running before she knew it.

Eunbi could never quite express her feelings through words.

Her tears had always said it all.

Yet through the tears, her smile was the real message.

FIN