This is dumb, sad, pathetic, my god so stupid, Chanyeol thought as he scrolled through this oh so familiar instagram account he visited one too many times in the past few weeks. His obsession with this certain guy grew deeper and wilder the more time passed, his head pounding on a daily basis trying to figure out what to do. A scoff fell from his dry lips which he proceeded to , making it only worse. He didn’t care though, he would nibble on them anyway while looking at not only the face of this pretty guy, but also read through comments made by friends, strangers or potential love interests, his eyes and heart burning and guts twisting.
As he said to himself, pathetic. Oh jeez, how he always smiled listening to others as they talked about their crushes or break ups, how they started stalking their exes, how girls were obsessing over guys ‘out of their leagues’, how they all hurt themselves just because of some random stranger or someone who obviously didn’t do them good. But.. here he was, screaming internally at this one picture of Baekhyun, a classmate he wasn’t close to at all, a guy he kind of even despised, because he was everything Chanyeol didn’t like or enjoy in a person. Every so often he asked himself what’s wrong with him, how he could feel such strong emotions when this boy was not even close to him. How could he feel so much jealousy towards his friends, again, people he never really talked to, just because they were closer to Baekhyun than he would probably ever be.

Becoming friends with someone you actually always avoided for 2 years straight and talked about to your few, but really good friends was really hard or at least Chanyeol thought so.
“Why..” Chanyeol whispered as he stared at this one selfie posted about a year ago, a bright smile plastered on Baekhyun’s face which was so unusual as he rarely posted pictures of himself smiling. Chanyeol could feel his heart flutter. God damn it, Baekhyun was extremely good looking and Chanyeol fell for his charms like an idiot slipping on a banana peel. So unexpected, so fast and sudden. He wondered, did he always feel that way? Was it just that he was so caught up in being good at school that he never truly noticed how beautiful Baekhyun was? He wondered if this was healthy or truly an unhealthy obsession he used to make fun of when others suffered because of one.
Oh karma truly was a .
A bitter sigh passed through Chanyeol’s slightly stinging, wound lips as he locked the screen of his phone before putting it aside, his room mostly dark with just a few lights from outside illuminating it. He was incredibly tired, it was late, he had school in five hours, but he knew he would first have to endure the struggle of not getting Baekhyun off his mind and staying awake a little longer, although sleep was more than overdue.
With a hand placed on his chest, he slowly fell asleep after seconds, minutes.. maybe hours.. He couldn’t tell as time was such a weird construct to him ever since his brain stopped focusing on anything other than Baekhyun.
Tomorrow he would see him again and his guts were twisting, making him feel sick to the stomach, but happily he was already too tired to even care.
Baekhyun... Baekhyun... Baekhyun....
Chanyeol’s mind was all about him, panic and stress a constant companion, but somehow Chanyeol enjoyed it, because maybe a small part of the so tall boy was holding onto hope he never dared to have.
Hope to grow closer to the one so far away.

“By the way, I haven’t told you about my discovery this morning, yet!” Baekhyun exclaimed as he gently hit Sehun’s shoulder, scooting closer to him during lunch.
“Look.” He said, opening instagram to show him the last notification, his thumb pressing on the little heart icon in the bar at the bottom of the screen. Sehun glanced at him with a raised eyebrow before glancing down to the screen, seeing an unknown username at the very top of the screen, again looking back up at Baekhyun with questioning eyes.
“Come on..” Baekhyun spoke, rolling his eyes before he pressed on the display picture of said account, revealing the very few pictures posted and with that the person it belonged to.
“Chanyeol?” Sehun asked, leaning back in his seat before drinking a few sips from his bottle of coke.
“Yeah, but.. he liked one of my older pictures what means he scrolled through my account and.. accidentally liked one and didn’t notice?”
“Or he did it on purpose?” Sehun asked back with furrowed eyebrows, earning an annoyed gaze from Baekhyun who was sighing heavily, eyes then moving back to the selfie of Chanyeol on his phone.
“Either way, he liked one of my pictures and I don’t know what to do about it.” Baekhyun admitted, heart fluttering at the thought, but not only that, he kinda felt uncomfortable and awkward, too. He and Chanyeol barely exchanged words with one another although they were classmates for two years already. Seemingly they didn’t have the greatest chemistry and Baekhyun’s snarky remarks towards Chanyeol didn’t help much either, but every so often he would catch himself staring at his tallest classmate, mostly when the latter was half asleep in class, leaning on one of his hand with his elbow propped on the table.
Baekhyun felt pretty shy in Chanyeol’s presence as long as he can remember. He was so attractive, but Baekhyun noticed pretty quickly that he ed up almost instantly. There never were any signs of liking towards Baekhyun when it came to the other, there has always been quite a distance between the two.

What his friends adored about him was what Chanyeol didn’t appreciate at all, sarcasm and cocky behaviour was probably a huge turn off and Baekhyun wished he was different or someone else more than just once, because he wished he had a calm and strong man by his side who would see behind that facade of his, would break through his walls and heal his wounds, but not in a selfless way. He felt such strong attraction towards Chanyeol, because he was so different, his opposite, a challenge even, but he never actually had a chance to challenge the impossible. Until now...
“Talk to him?” Sehun asked, now biting off a piece of his sandwich, choking a bit on it as Baekhyun suddenly pinches his side. Coughing, he grabs his coke to wash down the bread stuck in his throat, staring at his panicking friend next to him with angry and teary eyes.
“What was that for are you dumb?”
“I can’t just talk to him, what the .” Baekhyun said in a serious tone, voice slightly deeper than before and Sehun understood. This was serious. Baekhyun really liked this lanky guy who  sat by the window in the third row in class and barely talked to anyone except for his two friends.
But as serious as Baekhyun was, Sehun was still salty for what he did to him a few seconds ago and with that in mind and a sly grin on his lips he reached out to the still unlocked screen of Baekhyun’s phone and quickly tapped on the screen two times, taking control over his friend’s fate by simply liking that one and only selfie of Chanyeol uploaded to his instagram page.
The next seconds were pure horror for the older of the two. It felt like his heart had stopped beating and was about to combust and break out of his ribcage all at once. His face was burning, his frame shaking uncontrollably and he knew nothing he could do would delete that notification from Chanyeol’s phone.

The anger burning inside his chest was unbearable, yet not a single word could escape his trembling lips which he pressed together with all his might.
What he didn’t know nor saw was that the face of this one particular classmate of his lit up in a way it never did before.

The next couple of days Chanyeol was excessively using and checking his phone, just waiting for another sign of Baekhyun, but... nothing.
He felt devastated on a daily basis, but couldn't let go of that small spark of hope. He still didn't quite understand what the heck was going on with him and why he was feeling the way he felt. He never expected anything to happen between them, except for stupid group assignments maybe where the teacher would think it's best to pair them up (thank god that only happened once), but that Baekhyun would actually like one of his pictures? Chanyeol laughed inaudibly, looking down at is english homework he successfully ignored while diving into his confused mind and emotions once again. He didn't know what he was hoping for, but his guts twisted whenever he saw him interact with Sehun or anyone else of his many friends. Sehun.. That name left a bitter aftertaste on his tongue even without saying it out loud. The way Baekhyun clung to him when laughing, cuddled close to him, him and generally wanted attention. It was so hard for him to control himself and not just stare at them like a creep when they were busy being silly in class or during lunch. Oh, how much Chanyeol wanted to punch himself straight in the face whenever he thought about them or Baekhyun in general.

He talked to Kyungsoo about this and he can't get his stupid smile out of his head either. Yes, haha how funny it was that he caught feelings for someone he couldn't have a chance with. How adorable, as his friend called it. Nothing about this was adorable. It was overwhelmingly painful.
Shaking his head, Chanyeol decided to stop trying for today and closed his book before checking what youtubers he liked to watch uploaded new content. He was desperate for a change of thoughts and felt like although he won't stop thinking about his pretty classmate, this was the only way to feel at least a tiny bit better about everything.

“Baekhyun, out!” Baekhyun heard is coach yell from the top of his lungs, his burning from running, shock written all over his face. It never happened to him that he was substituted during a soccer game, why now. It wasn’t his fault that the other team was far better than them.
“What are you thinking about? You aren’t focused at all? You’re my best player, what’s up?” Mr Yoon asked concerned, the anger on his face vanishing slowly as he looked at the visibly devastated Baekhyun in front of him.

“Some things happened. I’m sorry Mr Yoon. I promise to work on it to be at my best soon again.” Baekhyun spoke confidently, trying his best to look strong in front of his coach so he wouldn’t worry too much or ask more questions. That tactic sadly didn’t work out as planned.
“Do you want to talk about it? Love? Family?”
Baekhyun sighed heavily, plopping down on the bench at an angle behind the older man, chin resting on his hands, elbows placed on his knees.
“I’m too shy to ask my crush out and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Baekhyun tried to explain as discretely as possible, not wanting to accidentally out himself. He was a soccer player after all, not that it changed anything since he knew lots of people wouldn’t accept his uality no matter who or what he was. Still, outings in that field were always a struggle and dramatic, no need to worsen the current situation.
“I understand.” Mr Yoon stated, watching Baekhyun’s teammates eagerly chase the ball. “I’m not mad at you, if you worry about that, but you really at playing at the moment.” He chuckled, surprised, because he never thought he would use such a word to describe Baekhyun. He was the best defense player he could ever wish for after all.
“Thank you.” The younger spoke softly, another sigh falling from his lips as he closed his eyes and leaned back into the seat, head resting against the cold, stone wall behind the bench.
Maybe he should text Junmyeon and tell him he’s not free on Friday. Oh god, how much he hated Sehun for what he did. Not only liking Chanyeol’s picture, but everything else he was doing in order to make Baekhyun feel uncomfortable...





“What do you mean the whole soccer team is invited?” Chanyeol asked, eyes wide open and heart pounding like crazy. The Soccer team? Freaking Byun Baekhyun was about to come to this birthday party as well?
What the was going on.
“Yeah, I mean.. not all I guess, but some of them.” Junmyeon said, shrugging, simply not realising how much of a big deal that was to Chanyeol.
The latter just stood there in horror while his friend was looking at him as if he was crazy. “What’s the deal?”
“Why are you suddenly inviting them? No offence, but you have literally three friends and I am one of them.”
“Chanyeol? I’m friend’s with Kyungsoo, who happens to be your friend as well and as you should know he’s friend’s with Jongin, who.. again, as you know, is a soccer player. So why not allow him to bring some friends, too?” Junmyeon seriously didn’t understand. Okay, he didn’t know about anything.. or maybe he did. Chanyeol was going crazy.
“Okay..”
“Is it because of Baekhyun?” A blatant question which triggered a very defensive reaction.
“ What? Baekhyun..? Tss.”
“Uhm.. yeah. Well, as I said. He is allowed to bring friends. I’m not sure who’s gonna show up eventually..... Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like a scared puppy, have you seen yourself lately.” Concern was audible in Junmyeon’s voice. He didn’t know much about this whole situation, this incident between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, but his friend was truly acting weird for the past few weeks.
“I’m not ready to be so close to Baekhyun, you know? I assume Kyungsoo told you?” Chanyeol asked, a defeated tone swinging along in his voice.
“He did, but.. he sits two rows behind you in class what are you talking about?”
“Dude, it’s school that’s something completely different.”
“Depends on how you look at it.” Junmyeon said, amused, his left eyebrow raised and a mischievous grin playing on his lips.
“Come on, give me a break. I really like him and what if we end up talking or something..?”
Junmyeon just shook his head at his friend’s ridiculous behaviour and couldn’t help but chuckle. It was cute, but Chanyeol didn’t make much sense. Oh well, that’s what love is about, right? Not making any sense anymore. He chuckled some more.
“Isn’t that exactly what you want and should happen? Just let it happen naturally, Chanyeol. It’s gonna be alright, go with the flow.” The older of the two patted his taller friend’s shoulder in an encouraging manner, feeling him relax a bit and his trembling frame calm down.
“You’re right.” Chanyeol in and exhaled deeply. “I have nothing to lose after all.”

The next few days until Friday were hell for Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s nervous system.
Not only did they try to avoid each other’s gazes way too obviously at school, it has become more or less a running gag along their friends. They were mocked and teased all the time, whether it was for their feelings in general or just the fact that they chose one another out of everyone to crush on.
Especially Baekhyun had to deal with this type of remarks often. Yes, oh Byun Baekhyun the popular soccer player and Park Chanyeol, the more or less ordinary student who was more into books and games than anything social, although Baekhyun knew some games required good social skills, too, so that didn’t count. He didn’t understand why the others found it so important and somehow he felt like he was part of one of these cheesy teenage love stories, but it was charming. He liked it. Chanyeol on the other hand, as much as he liked it, felt really insecure. His friends too questioned his choice when it came to Baekhyun. He knew, they were worried and didn’t want him to be heartbroken once Baekhyun rejected him, but did he really not have even the tiniest chance? Was he so unlovable? So weird?
He tried not to let this affect him in any way, but that wasn’t exactly how feelings worked.

Chanyeol was sure, once he reached the step to Junmyeon’s house, his lip would be all bloody from biting it. The anticipation was killing him and he swore to god time was passing much slower than usually. Since when did busses drive so damn slow, oh my god.
Baekhyun.. was he really out of his league? The latter definitely didn’t feel that way about Chanyeol, didn’t ever think of anyone like that. Being out of someones league or being too pretty for someone was a shallow thing to say in his opinion. That’s not how attraction works. Chanyeol was interesting in his own ways and that wasn’t anything Baekhyun thought to sound nice to himself. He liked his appearance, his style, way of talking and hobbies. As little as he knew about the tall, rather mysterious guy in his class, he knew enough to feel that there was a connection which Baekhyun most likely was the one to up. He knew that keeping his mouth shut would spare him lots of awkward time or arguments since people liked to take his comments way to seriously, but, well Chanyeol never said a thing about it to him, nor did he ever really react to a comment even if Baekhyun was addressing him in some way. He wondered if he was too shy, hurt or simply old enough to just not care about it and he was hoping it was the last one, because he never meant any harm...
Okay he did.. sometimes, but definitely not towards Chanyeol, what the latter didn’t know and so it was reason for his shyness around Baekhyun. He felt quite intimidated, because of that, but also because Baekhyun was.. freaking Byun Baekhyun the soccer player who was basically loved by everyone on their school, including Chanyeol although the other didn’t know about it. Yet.


As Chanyeol rang the door bell to his friend’s home, he was already able to hear the muffled sound of bass from inside and also some laughter from the back yard. Things seemed to go great already, well, he was about an hour late, because he couldn’t decide what to wear and how to style his hair, but Junmyeon was aware of that. “Hey bud, finally looking good enough?” The latter asked with a bright smile on his lips. He was happy to see that his best friend made it to his party despite feeling quite unwell about a certain guest and embraced him in a warm and welcoming hug.
Chanyeol smiled awkwardly, nodding and returning the hug before handing over his small present, wrapped in shiny, blue paper.
“Happy birthday! I hope you like it.” He beamed Junmyeon a hearty smile, his eyes sparkling from excitement. He already knew that his friend would love his present. It was that watch Junmyeon wouldn’t stop talking about to him.

“Well, let me open it right now, I’m sure I will love it!” His voice was wavering from excitement as he ripped off the paper and glanced inside the box mid sentence. “You could literally buy me- Oh my god! Ohhhhhh!” He exclaimed, jumping on spot and staring at Chanyeol with an even brighter smile now plastered on his face, laughing. “You did not!”

“I did.” Chanyeol chuckled and couldn’t save himself from another, much tighter hug, but he was fine with that. He didn’t know whether his friend or he himself was the happier person in this situation, so the watch was worth every penny, because the happiness that his friend was showing right now was priceless.

“You’re crazy! Did you pay for it all by yourself?” Junmyeon asked, taking the watch out of its case to put it on right away, Chanyeol’s heart tingling with joy.

“It’s fine.” Chanyeol said with a soft voice, watching his friend, knowing that the other wouldn’t think ‘it’s fine’, but he didn’t care anyway.
While the other was radiating light brighter than the sun, Chanyeol caught sight of something or rather someone from the corner or his eyes. Oh no. He really came...
It was Baekhyun who was watching the two from the hallway, a small, lopsided smile dancing on his lips as the scene was really precious.
Somehow Chanyeol really hoped not to see his face at the party, but then again, who their age would say no to free drinks? Okay, Chanyeol would do so, since he wasn’t really a drinker, but he was a special case, as his friends said, anyway.
Acting like he didn’t see him, Chanyeol followed his friend inside and over to Kyungsoo who was waving at the two as soon as he caught sight of them.
His safe haven. Kyungsoo.
Sadly, before he was able to actually feel happy about his usually antisocial friend who he thought was just waiting for Junmyeon to return, Chanyeol’s bubble popped. He was talking to someone and with someone he meant not anyone, but Baekhyun’s closest friend; Sehun.
What, why.. Chanyeol felt like his world was shattering. There was no place to feel safe now. He was all on his own.



Baekhyun roamed the house looking at stuff and greeting random people he either didn’t know much or at all, trying to avoid the newer guest to the party at all costs.
Yes, he fled the scene although he was walking into the hallway every goddamn time the bell rang to see who was coming, anticipating Chanyeol’s arrival like no one else’s, but let’s pretend that never happened.

He knew exactly why Sehun was suddenly so friendly towards Kyungsoo. He knew.. knew that his friends were trying their best to set the two up and he would lie if he would say he never felt more uncomfortable in his life.
How the hell could Sehun do that to him? Okay, dumb question. Obviously Sehun was the person to do something like that to his precious little, angelic, friendly, lovely, sweet friend, which Baekhyun was... 100% all the time, no doubt..
Sighing heavily, Baekhyun downed the rest of his drink, already feeling more than tipsy and he knew he should stop drinking very soon. He would have loved to get black out drunk that night, but there was a part of him which enjoyed Chanyeol’s presence way too much. So much that he tried his best to drink enough so he didn’t care about anything anymore and was a random , desperate and pathetic person who could finally talk to their crush. Gosh, how much Baekhyun hated himself that night. That extra nice outfit he threw on, showing off his best features with it and his matching make up. He already was desperate, cancel that one off the list from before...
What should he do? Just talk to him? Theoretically he had nothing to lose and his friends asked him who would say no to someone like him, but Baekhyun wasn’t even sure if he would say yes to someone like himself. Probably not. Especially not if he were to be a calm soul like Chanyeol.
Just because Baekhyun liked that the other was the exact opposite of him didn’t mean that it was the same visa versa.

Awkward. Awkward was all of this. Sehun and Kyungsoo as well as Jongdae, who joined the three moments ago, are now talking to each other while Chanyeol is desperately looking out for Junmyeon to save him. Why did he leave again.. why did it have to be his birthday. Chanyeol knew he was ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop panicking in the presence of Baekhyun’s friends and so he decided it was best to make his way over to the table full of drinks to pour himself one in one of these fancy, red plastic cups.
Ugh, he sighed. He hated being part of the environment unfriendly community, but he knew his friend, or more, the mother of said friend didn’t trust anyone when it came to her beloved glasses. Too many had been shattered that one time. Oh well, drunk people are such reckless idiots. He didn’t blame her.
A little bit of alcohol here a little bit of juice there and et viola, Chanyeol mixed himself the most disgusting drink he had ever tasted, but he didn’t care. It had a purpose and that was all what mattered. The taste was endurable, but he knew he’d get a tummy ache from this creation in no time. Also didn’t matter, great reason to leave early.
“Why are you smiling like that, you alcoholic?” A voice suddenly asked from behind him, a hand finding its place on the addressed one’s right shoulder. It was Junmyeon. Thank god.
Chanyeol shook his head, sighing and turning around, a suffering look on his face.
“Uh no, I’m smiling, because this tastes like .” He partly lied.
“You never had a lucky hand when it comes to mixing drinks.” Junmyeon smiled, patting his friends shoulder and nodding over to the back door.
“Wanna join me on the terrace in a few minutes?” Chanyeol frowned at the question and he was about to ask whether his friend was some secret drug abuser, but before he could voice his concern, the other spoke up again.
“I see that look on your face. No, I’m not smoking or something like that, you didn’t miss out on anything. I just wanted to drink some water and let my lungs inhale some fresh air. I don’t know what to call the air in here, but it’s everything but fresh. You can almost see it.”
Chanyeol sighed in relief and nodded to the said words. It felt like he walked against a wall as he entered the house earlier. The smell, the thickness of the air...
Yeah yeah, it was Beakhyun who drove him insane and not the air...
“Sure. I will be waiting outside. I don’t want to get stood up so don’t let me wait for too long.”
“Sure.” Spoke Junmyeon, winking at his taller friend who then proceeded to move over to the door, feeling quite dizzy already. He didn’t drink in a long time and wasn’t used to it anymore. His tolerance level was probably the one of a 14 years old girl, but oh well, that meant it wouldn’t take him so long to get drunk and another plus was that he wouldn’t have to finish this mess of ew in his cup.

With a loud sigh emerging his mouth, Chanyeol sat down on the little platform outside, a small set of stairs leading further down into the garden, a pole of the railing between his legs which are hanging down the side. It was quite uncomfortable, but Chanyeol didn’t care as it was the most comfortable option for him in his state and he could lean his head against the pole in front of him for support. Which was great since it felt like it grew thrice its normal size.
“Uffff... what is this demon drink.” He whined, putting down his cup and staring down on his lap.

“Uh.. are you okay?” A question suddenly rang in Chanyeol’s ears, but he didn’t quite understand it. “What?”
“Are you okay?” The person asks again and this time Chanyeol could recognize the voice. Oh no..
“What!?” He asks once more, shocked by Baekhyun’s appearance, turning his head way too fast to look at the guy behind him who was in fact no other than Baekhyun, but the fast movement of his head almost made him lose counsciousness.
“If you’re alright.. I.. are you okay, oh my god.” Baekhyun repeated himself just like the other, worried about the strong reaction from Chanyeol. He was holding his head, hissing and his eyes weren’t really focusing on anything. Baekhyun kneeled down in front of him, trying to make the other look at him and luckily, as he held his face in his hands, Chanyeols eyes focused on the one in front of him. Baekhyun could have sworn time stopped that moment and it wasn’t his intention to make this kind of encounter with Chanyeol and be so touchy so fast, but he really worried about him on a platonic level.
“How much have you been drinking?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol who was too shocked to say anything and was just staring at the beautiful face of his crush right in front of him, so close and yet so far away. Oh how much he just wanted to kiss him, but even his dazed and drunk mind wouldn’t let him do such idiotic thing. Happily.
“Not much..” Chanyeol slurred and Baekhyun’s eyes fell on the red cup next to him.
“Well, obviously enough to make you such a mess.” He chuckled, slowly letting go of Chanyeol’s face which was burning, urging him to pull his legs out of the railing to sit down properly until the two ended up leaning against it next to each other, Chanyeol’s drink now far away from him. Baekhyun would bring him some water if he was thirsty, but definitely wouldn’t let him drink any more of this drink.
“It tastes like anyway.” Chanyeol sighed.
“I guessed so as you called it 'demon drink'. If you need some water just tell me.”
“I will, thank you.”

Baekhyun smiled and then it felt really awkward. He was sitting there with Chanyeol and he didn’t know the other would be out there, too. He was told to go outside and wait for Jongdae who wanted to talk about relationship problems, but now he's confronted by his own relationship problems. Well, if you could call it that.
He didn’t know what to say or to do next, his heart was still racing like crazy. He never thought he would hold Chanyeol’s face like he did just moments ago and didn’t know what he should do with the knowledge of how soft his skin was now that he knew? Jesus, he hated, but also loved himself for how brave he was.
“Are you usually like this?” Baekhyun then bit his lip after asking that question. Once he was done, he thought it sounded a bit rude. “I mean, you’re here for maybe half an hour, but already almost black out drunk.”
A deep chuckle reached his ears from his right. Chanyeol was still looking down at his lap, nervously scratching the fabric of his jeans to distract himself a little.
“Nah..” He grinned, quickly glancing over to the one next to him, shaking his head before sighing and looking up at the sky. “I’m not used to be surrounded by so many people. I feel quite awkward in bigger groups and now that here are so many guys I don’t really know, my social anxiety reached a crazy level.” He partially lied. He wasn’t extroverted. He liked being alone in his room and to do things with his two friends and those two only. Of course Baekhyun was the reason for him to drink, but generally he was just another dude he didn’t know enough to feel comfortable around. Though, talking to him felt kind of good that moment, but maybe the demon drink affected him just right.

“I see..” Baekhyun nodded, not sure if the other would see it, but understanding. He wasn’t feeling much different.
“Believe me when I say I guess 90% of the people here struggle getting to know new people. It’s more common than you might think, but sure.. anxiety is worse and more than just nervousness.”
As Baekhyun was done speaking, Chanyeol could feel his heart flutter. His words were so comforting and understanding. The usually so cocky Baekhyun seemed so soft and approachable, he had to look over to him to check if he really was talking to the guy who would regularly say stupid and kind of offensive . Maybe.. Chanyeol’s suspicion wasn’t as far-fetched as he thought it was. Baekhyun could really be a sweet soul after all, one with his own struggles and coping mechanisms. Maybe, he wasn’t as bad as everyone always believed. Maybe, he wasn’t as much of an whatsoever.
“Thank you.” Chanyeol breathed out, chuckling softly afterwards and crossing his stretched out legs at the ankles.
“No need to thank me.” Spoke Baekhyun with a sweet tone in his voice. “I’m not as confident as you might think.” He then stated, surprising the other once more as he opened up about his own insecurities. “I’m just a normal guy who’s into gaming and soccer. The pressure of being a popular guy at school is suffocating at times.”
Chanyeol was speechless. Baekhyun? Suffocated by pressure? He always thought he loved the attention.
“Is that so?” He asked carefully. “I would have never thought so.”
A heavy sigh fell from Baekhyun’s lips and it was obvious how much he suffered from said things. “I’d rather be like you. I envy you a lot.”
“What-”
“Sorry, I talk too much.. lol.” Baekhyun spoke with a joking, but quite pain filled voice. He felt embarrassed for suddenly opening up like that to Chanyeol and didn’t know if he was able to trust him.
“You don’t talk too much. It’s fine.” Chanyeol tried his best to prove that Baekhyun shouldn’t have to feel bad or embarrassed around him and happily it seemed to work. He turned his head to look at the one beside him before speaking once more. “I’m just some drunk dude on his best friend’s back door’s stoop and it’s fine with me if you want to vent to me about your life.”
“Thank you, but no thank you..” Baekhyun now was the one to stare at his legs for a couple of seconds before he laughed it off and looked into Chanyeol’s eyes with his own teary ones, but Chanyeol acted like he didn’t notice. It broke his heart though.

“I shouldn’t complain. People have it worse and this is a party. Shouldn’t we all be light hearted and drink way too much and do things we regret afterwards just to laugh about it in a couple of years?” He asked and Chanyeol didn’t know what to think, feel or say to this, because, yes, that’s how it should be, but that’s not how feelings work at all. A soft and affectionate smile tugged on the corner of his lips and he reached out to pat Baekhyun’s thigh as the latter grabbed to plastic cup to take a few gulps of Chanyeol’s, truly, disgusting drink.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol giggled as the other gagged after emptying the cup.
“Ew what the ”
“I don’t know, but it’s good to get drunk fast.” Chanyeol laughed, throwing some hand sign he couldn’t even define since he was too drunk to coordinate his movements so spontaneously.
“Don’t think about others too much, your feelings are valid and if you’re stressed it’s a good thing to talk about it.” Chanyeol then couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore. He too wanted to make Baekhyun feel better about his struggles, but the other didn’t like the concept as it seemed.
“No.. let’s not further talk about it.” Baekhyun asked quietly and Chanyeol nodded. He understood and respected it, but whispered an “I’m here.” to let the other know that he was available to talk to whenever he needed it. For a short time, Chanyeol forgot about his feelings for Baekhyun and finally got to know him on a much more personal level and he loved it. It felt good and like they had some kind of connection neither of both really understood, but that didn’t matter in any way.
“Maybe we should go inside soon.” Baekhyun said, looking around and moving his legs to sit cross-legged, hands placed on his knees. “I feel like Jongdae forgot about me.”
“What’s the matter?” Chanyeol asked slightly concerned, Baekhyun shrugged. “I don’t know. I was told that he’d come outside to talk to me about some relationship stuff.”
Chanyeol frowned and remembered Junmyeon’s words.
Wait...
“Junmyeon too told me... I should go outside and wait for him..”
As Chanyeol said that, the two boys looked at each other with a big fat question mark plastered on their faces. Did they-... No, right?
“I mean..”
“I guess....”
“This is awkward” Baekhyun laughed out loud, but felt like he wanted to cry and run away.
“I think they.. well. I mean... Okay, I hate myself for this, but you liked my selfie.” Chanyeol blurted out, not really thinking about what kind of thing he even wanted to say. In the end this was such a weird statement and Baekhyun was equally confused because of it as Chanyeol.
“And?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, my friends.. I mean..”
“You liked mine first and it was one from over a year ago.”
“I DID WHAT?!” Chanyeol couldn’t believe his ears. He never did.. or did he?
“Yeah, you liked my picture and Sehun liked yours back from my phone, because he was mad at me.”
“So it wasn’t you?” Chanyeol said, his heart sinking. He felt betrayed. His hopes were so far up, but Baekhyun’s statement sent cold shivers down Chanyeol’s spine. He felt like throwing up any second. “Oh..” He mumbled. “I thought-”
“I mean come on I would have liked it on my own if I wasn’t such a coward.. I wanted to get to know you for quite a while already, but I never had the guts and while my friends told me to just ask you out, they also made me feel bad about my feelings for you.” Seemingly the alcohol loosened Baekhyun’s tongue periodically and now he was pouring out his feelings once more, but on a whole different level. “I don’t even know what you think about me and honestly I don’t know if anyone could truly like me. We don’t know each other and I seem like an , because I try to act cool when I’m in reality just some insecure little piece of who likes to hurt others, because I hurt myself by doing that and apparently that’s exactly what my brain wants.” He blurted out, panting afterwards and oblivious to what just happened while Chanyeol was staring at him in disbelief. There was a lot going on in his head, a lot of words he wanted to say, but first he had to realize and understand that this wasn’t a dream or hallucination. Baekyhun.. he really just told him that he liked him? Right? It wasn’t just his mind playing a trick on him? Chanyeol’s body started to shake and he could see that Baekhyun’s frame was trembling as well. They were both so overwhelmed by this sudden change of events, it blew their mind, but Chanyeol didn’t want to let Baekhun wait for an answer as hard as it was to speak.

“My friends are the same.. I’ve had a crush on you for a while already.” He chuckled nervously, trying to look into Baekhyun’s shimmering eyes, but failing at it over and over again.
“I didn’t know I accidentally liked your picture, oh my god... I..yeah, wasn’t even sure if I should come to this party today and I’m drunk, because I was afraid to talk to you. Your presence alone stressed me the out. You are kind of untouchable to me.” Chanyeol confessed. “I’m the exact opposite of you and I didn’t know if you’re into guys. I don’t even know where this crush came from. Suddenly it struck me and ever since then I couldn’t stop spending too much time thinking about you.”
Baekhyun was blushing like crazy. This was so unreal. The two of them, outside, under the moonlight, confessing their feelings for each other in the most innocent way possible. If it wasn’t so serious to him he would have joked about how cheesy all of this was, but he couldn’t and didn’t want to. He was too excited.
“Chanyeol.. I..I didn’t know and would have never expected..”
“Me neither...”
“I mean our friends are disgusting for doing this to us, but I’m so happy right now.. Though, I don’t know what to do now.” Baekhyun spoke with a tiny and shaky voice. “I yeah..”
“Me neither.” Said the other who was turning his body to Baekhyun to intensify the intimacy of the moment, the other not changing his position though, too shy to completely open up to his crush.
“So.. you wanted to ask me out?” Chanyeol asked hesitantly, the world spinning around him and honestly he had no idea if it was caused by the alcohol or his heart racing like he just ran a marathon. Baekhyun too felt really dizzy and was sure he wouldn’t be able to stand up the next hour or two. Added to that he would have loved to just throw up right that moment to avoid Chanyeol’s question, but also, because he was feeling so sick to the stomach he was barely able to handle it. Freaking nervousness.. Jesus...
“I guess..”
“You guess?” Chanyeol chuckled at the answer, knowing the other was nervous and uncertain about the situation, but so was he. He wanted this to feel a bit more light-hearted and hoped to make the other smile and he succeeded.
Baekhyun did smile as he looked down and then over to the handsome boy in front of him. “I’m overwhelmed and nervous, leave me alone.” He joked, whining as playfully as possible, though it was obvious that 90% of his being was whining because he felt frustrated.

“I just want clarity, you know..” Chanyeol spoke with a soft voice, his hands trembling so he started playing with his own fingers, nervously watching Baekhyun who was chuckling and sighing afterwards. “I know..” He spoke back, looking up. “I wanted and still want to ask you out.” His face was burning as if on fire. He felt like fainting. Did he really just ask THE Chanyeol out? Did THE Chanyeol really want clarity?
“You’re so different from what I’ve expected Baekhyun.” The latter felt a sudden rush of weakness wash through his body, but he couldn’t tell whether he felt threatened or like falling in the arms of an angel.
“You just told me about your feelings and I’m glad I know about them, because if not I wouldn’t be sure if you’re honest or just playing games.” Chanyeol said, trying to be as honest with the other as possible. He wanted to make things right. He truly felt insecure in Baekhyun’s presence and he wanted to let him know about it, although that might mean he was hurting him. He felt like honesty was so important and his heart told him Baekhyun would understand and hopefully not feel too bad.
“I’m not a great person I know.”
“No.” Chanyeol blurted out, scooting closer to Baekhyun who was on the verge of tears once more. Oh no, he didn’t want this to happen, but honestly what did he expect knowing about Baekhyun’s insane vulnerability and still telling him how he’s basically afraid of him. Idiot..
“You’re not and that’s the point! I don’t mean to make you feel bad. I was or..well, I do still feel kind of intimidated in your presence, because.. you’re.. you. You’re Baekhyun, you know?”
“But what does being Baekhyun mean to you?” The other asked back, not really understanding what’s happening and if Chanyeol liked him or not and if he wanted to go on a date with Baekhyun. There was no clear answer and it drove him insane. He felt like drowning in insecurities.
Chanyeol felt guilty, he could see what his words were causing the other to feel, so he was determined to make the other smile once more. He could not break the heart of the one he was crushing on so bad he could barely catch sleep at night the first time he was properly talking to him.
Chanyeol was so bad at this, he wanted to punch himself straight in the face as he caught sight of a tear running down Baekhyun’s cheek. The latter opened up to him and felt save and all Chanyeol did was hurting him even more. Oh what an idiot he was, truly.

“It doesn’t mean anything bad per se. It means that I feel like you’re out of my league. It means that my and probably also your friends are weird about my feelings for you. It means that I am an insecure, giant baby who is afraid of commitment, because I feel worthless compared to you although you just proved to me that you’re a normal and nice guy just like everyone else and I shouldn’t make such a big deal out of your status. I’m sorry for making you cry, it’s definitely not how I imagined this to be. , I never thought I’d talk to you like this in the first place so I don’t even know what I expected this to be like. I like you Baekhyun and I didn’t quite know why until a few minutes ago, because you are a complex human being and not just the pride of out school and a little cocky bastard as many people like to call you. I hope you understand that being Baekhyun means that you’re great and I want to get to know the real Baekhyun. I like what I already saw and what I’m seeing right now. Suddenly, you’re not as unreachable to me anymore and I hate that I ever felt that way. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I want to go out with you, too, to clarify if that wasn’t obvious already, but I understand if this is too messy for you, if I am too messy for you and this made you dislike the idea.” Chanyeol’s lungs were burning as he was done speaking, explaining his feelings towards his crush with barely any break to breathe since he was so afraid of rejection. He couldn’t take breaks, because he thought Baekhyun would speak up as soon as he did and he hated that his insecurity worked that way, but he was for once okay with it since apparently it worked out just fine. The corners of Baekhyun’s lips were visibly curved up in a little smile, one of his delicate hands rubbing his left eye as a heavy sigh mixed with a chuckle emerged from his lips.
“Giant baby..”
Chanyeol’s eyes lit up as Baekhyun called him that while shaking his head, not in hopes that he would tell him otherwise, but because it looked like he couldn’t quite believe Chanyeol’s choice of words. Still, he hoped everything else was much more important to the other since him being a giant baby was more or less the least important thing. Well, only if Baekhyun was okay spending time with one of course.
“Chanyeol you.. I-.. think we both think way too much of each other..?” He asked with a voice filled with confusion. It sounded like he didn’t know how to put his feelings into words, but Chanyeol knew exactly what was talking about.
“I don’t mean to say that you’re not special to me, but yes..”
“That’s neither what I wanted to express.” Baekhyun glanced over to the window close to them, watching some of the people inside chat, dance and laugh and as much as he wished his night was so carefree since he was so desperately in need of a time away from responsibilities he couldn’t complain about his current spot. He felt giddy and so lucky.
“You’re cute Chanyeol, do you know that?” He then asked out of the blue, totally startling the addressed one with this question what made him flash Chanyeol one of his toothy and dorky smiles. He looked so cheeky and Chanyeol loved it, so adorable and angelic and-- take a breath, Chanyeol..

With flushed cheeks the latter shyly looked away from Baekhyun before his eyes met his once more. He couldn’t believe that any of this was happening, that Baekhyun just called him cute and wanted to go out with him. He begged that this really wasn’t just a dream and so did the other. Baekhyun had a hard time to truly process the happenings. What surprised him the most was that Chanyeol seemingly liked the part of him the most which he tried to hide from everyone for so long. His weak side, his whiny self which wasn’t strong or as glamorous as always pictured. He was just some guy who felt overwhelmed by his own life and really put up walls. Walls, he thought, no one could ever tear down, yet there was Chanyeol who had no problem at all. Something about his aura was so calming and Baekhyun always thought he would be the last person with a ty personality. If that would be the case, he always said to Sehun, he would question anything and everything.
Chanyeol maybe was a dream coming true and Baekhyun was eager to find out if that was true. 

“Do you want to.. go back inside?” Baekhyun then asked as he thought he wouldn’t get an answer from Chanyeol anyway. The look on the other’s face as soon as the word ‘cute’ fell from Baekhyun’s lips said more than a thousand words and was more than enough of a reaction for Baekhyun.

“And then?” Asked Chanyeol who seemingly hoped for a different outcome, Baekhyun looked at him questioning. “I don’t know.”
He felt a little intimidated by Chanyeol’s question, he still didn’t know how Chanyeol was vibing and he wasn’t really open for much more already. Although, he didn’t expect Chanyeol to be some kind of ert or whatever would come close to that, he still didn’t know what to think of it. Was it rude of him to reject Chanyeol if he wanted more than just converse or was it just fine? The other was respectful and sweet.. he wanted his brain to stop working that moment. These thoughts were idiotic. He was so afraid that he started questioning Chanyeol’s intentions even though it was more than obvious that the other was just as much of an innocent nerd as Baekhyun himself.

“Do you think it’s rude to leave the party early? If you’d like we could.. I don’t know, go for a walk, talk, play some games on my playstation?” Chanyeol asked, thinking about his friend Junmyeon who was currently celebrating his birthday. He would have felt bad for his desire to leave if his friend wasn’t part of the plan to hook him and Baekhyun up. He would be happy for them and surely wouldn’t mind, thought Chanyeol who was waiting for Baekhyun to tell him what he thought of his ideas, hoping he wasn’t too pushy already.
“Playstation sounds wonderful.” Baekhyun whispered and Chanyeol swore he could see stars twinkle in the latter’s eyes. Gosh, he could look at him for hours.
"What kind of games do you have?"
"Ohohoh.." Chanyeol snickered, his eyebrows raised and a wide grin plastered on his face. "Oh you don't know how little money I have, because of all the games I buy."
"Impressive.. me likey." Baekhyun smirked back and Chanyeol's heart fluttered once again. "Then let's go, I wanted to do this for an awfully long time already." He added while slowly getting up, his hand reaching out for Chanyeol's to help him up what made him blush in return. What a cutie, Baekhyun thought, so awkward and precious.

It was that moment that Baekhyun stood in front of Chanyeol, closer than ever and he swore he never perceived him as THIS tall. *insert heavy breathing cat meme here*

"Should we go inside and at least tell him we are heading home?" Baekhyun asked, slowly letting his eyes wander up to Chanyeol's face and wow he felt so weak. He wanted all of this to happen slowly so they wouldn't rush into something and regret it afterwards, but oh lord did he wish for Chanyeol to pull him close and hold him in his strong arms.

"I will text him."

"Isn't that rude?"

"Remember what they did to us. That's rude." Chanyeol crossed his arms and playfully puffed out air in an angry manner. As happy as Baekhyun was, he could only agree.... he still thanked everyone involved in mind, because without them he would have never dared to make a move. "Okay." He said, ready to walk down the three steps behind him, but before he could turn around all the way he suddenly felt warmth around his hand. It was Chanyeol who was actually aiming for his wrist, but was still too tipsy to control his movements so he ended up wrapping his hand around Baekhyun's which was so small and cold compared to his own. Their gazes met each other, surprise written on both faces and Chanyeol was already about to pull away as Baekhyun suddenly turned his hand in Chanyeol's to squeeze it. There was yet another one of these breathtaking smiles playing on his lips and Chanyeol couldn't help but giggle at the sight and action just before Baekhyun bumped into him and jumped off the stairs, pulling the taller figure down with him.

Like that, the two snuck off to Chanyeol’s home and the latter never texted his friend since he was too busy laughing with Baekhyun and falling just further in love with him. Not much happened that night, they were holding hands, talking about games, hobbies and family stuff and of course spent most of the night playing some games on Chanyeol's Playstation.

It was wonderful, it was magical, it felt so right.

And although Baekhyun left at around 6 in the morning and Chanyeol ended up in bed all on his own, he felt warm and save and fell asleep with a smile on his face, hoping that Baekhyun felt the same.
And he did...

A/N: Thanks for reading!
comments are appreciated <3 have a nice day :)