Chapter 12 

 

 

Trembling voice 

 

 

 

One thing I learned about Jiyong is that he is persistent. If he wants something, he’ll really get it. By hook or by crook. And it’s giving me goosebumps knowing that he wants to play this game with me.

 

“It’s just a joke.” I started before glaring at him. . I know I started it but damn it, it’s starting to backfire. Now I am the coward for backing out. 

 

“Really?” Jiyong gave me an amused grin. 

 

“I was drunk, you know.” Yeah, try harder Dara. Convince him and yourself as well. 

 

He chuckled. “Was that a slip of the tongue? Did your… intrusive thoughts win?” 

 

I looked away. . Did my intrusive thoughts win? I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. I can blame it on the alcohol, really.  But drunk people tend to speak the truth. Alcohol makes them brave. . Deep inside of me, do I really want to be his buddy? 

 

“Maybe. But now that I am sober, I-I don’t like that idea anymore.” 

 

“Hmm. It’s a shame though.” 

 

I gave him a simple smile. Damn it. I am not a Saint. I am not even religious. Our family tends to go to church every Sunday because that’s what Mom wants but I am not a firm believer. But good Lord, Jiyong is such a temptation here on Earth. 

 

Now that he opened up that, am I really having thoughts about it? Him being my buddy? Damn it. Am I that thirsty? I’m 28. He’s 26. I’m an adult. So as him. 

 

But, I don’t have any experience in terms of . 

 

The ‘playgirl’ facade— it’s fake. Yes, I flirt. I date a lot of guys. And I kiss the guys I dated. I make out with them, thus gaining the title of the City Mayor’s ‘playgirl’ daughter. Plus my siblings just… around. I am not religious and I am not conservative. But I don’t around like my siblings. 

 

And I am afraid, for the most part, of me being attached to him. I am afraid I might develop feelings. I am afraid this game will end up being a ‘game over’ for me. I am afraid I might fall in love with him. 

 

Catching feelings is definitely a big no-no for me. So, I should keep my intrusive thoughts to myself and just stay calm and in my lane. As I should. 

 

“Now that we’re settled, I want us to remain friends. I’m sorry for flirting, Ji. Really.” 

 

I should really keep my distance from now on. I don’t want this growing feeling. I hate it. I don’t want to be eaten alive by these strange feelings. 

 

“Okay.” He simply said as he nodded. 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

“Let me ask you a question though.” 

 

“What is it?” 

 

“Why the sudden change of heart?” 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

He shrugs as he lean towards the backrest of the chair. “I was sure that you like me—“

 

“Hold up!” I said while raising my finger in the air. I shook my head as I laughed. Damn it. Where did he get that weird idea? 

 

“What?”

 

“Let me make this thing clear. I don’t like you. I’m just interested. There’s a huge difference to that.” 

 

Jiyong eyed me. “Then, why are you so interested in me? You just met me one random night at a club. Was it… err, ‘interest at first sight’?” I heard him laugh. 

 

Why am I so interested in him? 

 

I actually… don’t know. 

 

Maybe because of his sharp eyes? Of his jaws? Or his eyes who looks at me like he’s eye ing me? Or his oozing appeal? Or was it because he smells good? Or his hot tattoos? Or his brain? Because he’s intelligent? Or maybe because he’s good at conversation? 

 

I can go on with this list actually but… damn it. . I have so many reasons as to why I am so interested in him. And it’s not good! It only proves that this interest… is turning into something scary. 

 

“I just… find you attractive.” I simply reply. 

 

“Uh-huh.” He sip on his drink. “Why were you jealous?” 

 

“What?!” My voice raised a bit making other people look our way. . 

 

“Oh, don’t deny it, Sandara.” He smirk. 

 

“I am not.” 

 

“Then explain to me why you were ‘grumpy’ earlier. If you are not jealous, then tell me why?” 

 

I bit my lower lip. . I sighed. Okay, let’s calm down. I can always deny his accusations. It’s not like he can read my mind. 

 

“Fine. I thought you were cheating on your girlfriend.”

 

“I don’t have a girlfriend, Sandara. And as what I’ve told you, if I do have a girlfriend, I wouldn’t even look at you.” 

 

“Why? Am I not that beautiful that you won’t even look at me?” Wait. The conversation got sidetracked! Damn it. 

 

He chuckled. Jiyong played his lower lip with his hand. “You are so ing beautiful, Sandara. If only you could see yourself the way I see you…” 

 

I blushed. I. ing. Blushed. . And he saw it! I saw how Jiyong’s eyes flicker. It seems like he is amused. 

 

“S-Shut up.” I looked away. I need to look away to hide my blushing cheeks. 

 

“And now that I’ve known you, I feel like… I am starting to like you.” 

 

My head suddenly turned towards him. . My neck hurts. “C-Come on. Stop joking, Ji.” 

 

“I am not though.” 

 

“I know I kept on flirting with you but… don’t flirt back! Please! I-I’m done.” 

 

“I’m not.” 

 

“You playboy.” I rolled my eyes at him. I grab the cookie and started to munch it. 

 

“I told you, I’m an ex playboy.” He chuckled. “On a serious note though, I am starting to really like you. I like being with you.” 

 

“Then why the heck were you so interested in my buddy's proposal if you like me?” 

 

Jiyong smirked. “Because it’s interesting. I might… tame you with that. You troublesome girl.” 

 

“I’m not a wild horse to be tamed. And I am not troublesome.” 

 

He just chuckled. “Well, I thought you’re interested in that that’s why you proposed it.” 

 

“Have you… uhm, had buddies before?” 

 

. Why am I even asking? Of course, he had! With his looks? It’s a huge lie if he denies it. He’s a goddamn player. A real one. Not like me. 

 

“Yes. I had.” 

 

“Why did you… uhm, break up?” 

 

Jiyong chuckled. “For a playgirl, you seem so innocent.” 

 

I looked away. “Just for this matter.” 

 

“Well, the girl developed feelings. I don’t like mixing pleasures in bed with feelings before, Sandara.” 

 

I just nod. Jiyong is so complicated. Just like me. 

 

“How about now?” I bravely ask. “Do you… still hate mixing pleasure with feelings?” 

 

Jiyongs jaw tensed. Damn, those jaws. His intense stare… is ing y. I gulped. 

 

“Now? I don’t know. Wanna know?” 

 

. This guy is really a huge temptation here on Earth. . My heart started to beat so fast, I was afraid he’d hear it. 

 

“L-Let’s go. I’m sleepy.” I let go of the subject because it’s making me nervous as hell. 

 

I gathered my things. Jiyong just smirked and grabbed my bag. 

 

“I can carry them,” I said as I grabbed the bag from him. But because he’s strong, my efforts were all in vain. 

 

“I know. But I want to carry your bag.” 

 

I pouted. He’s carrying my bag as he walks towards the parking. I realized he was not using his car, again. I can’t see it. 

 

“Your car?” 

 

He smirked. “I told you, I hate convoys. So, I rode a taxi.”

 

He sound so sure that he’ll find me here on his first try. I gave him my car keys as I stretched out my hand. I’m so ing tired. I want to sleep early. 

 

“Then, drive.” I smirked. 

 

Jiyong opened the car doors for me. I chuckled. Damn it. I was about to put on my seatbelt when he leaned forward, grabbed it, and put it on himself. I can smell his manly scent and it’s making me… crazy. Lately, with Jiyong I feel like I am going crazy. My emotions were always at high. 

 

How much more if he’s closer than this? His scent will mix with mine as he hugs me tighter. . What are those trains of thought Sandara? 

 

He closed the doors and half-run towards the driver’s seat. Damn it. Damn it. His scent is really addicting. 

 

“What?” He asked using a playful tone. 

 

“Nothing.” I just shrugged and closed my eyes. “Good thing you are here,” I mumbled, sleepily. 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“I’m too tired to drive. Thanks, Ji.” 

 

“Just sleep tight, love.” 

 

I was sleepy yet after hearing him say those words, I felt my whole body awakened. I bit my inner cheeks to stop myself from smiling. Damn it. 

 

Moreover, why is he telling me this? Love? Kwon Jiyong, why the sudden pet name huh? And he said he likes me? Heck. That’s… book-coded playboy moves! 

 

I was thinking about so many things but I found myself sleeping soundly. Maybe it was because I was tired or maybe because of the car's temperature or maybe because I felt safe with Jiyong. 

 

I suddenly woke up when I heard Taylor Swift’s voice inside my head singing. I opened my eyes and saw that the car was already at a stop. But not in front of our house. 

 

“Sorry,” I mumbled as I yawned. “I slept.” 

 

“It’s fine.” He said. 

 

I was shocked upon seeing that the seatbelt were unbuckled and my seat were on a recline position. Also, my hand were resting on his lap! Like it’s the most normal thing to do. Damn it. How did it happen? Did my hand travel there while I was asleep? If it is, that’s ing embarrassing! Am I a ert or something? 

 

“S-Sorry,” I said. 

 

He chuckled. “It’s fine.” 

 

I looked around. This is in our village, I know because of the familiar house design. I sigh, relieved. I thought he went somewhere far and had planned on killing me since it was already nighttime. If he plans to murder me, no one will see. Although I know my parents and my siblings will definitely look for me. 

 

Oh . The heck with my train of thoughts! 

 

“Why are we here anyway?” 

 

“You were sleeping like a baby. I don’t want to wake you up so I just parked here and wait ‘till you’ll wake up.” 

 

I bit my lower lip. Jiyong… I’m still wondering the sudden change. From cold to being friendly. Was it still part of the ‘truce’? If it is, why? If not, why? 

 

“Ji…” 

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“Do you like me?” 

 

I saw his jaw tense. Then he smirked. “If I say yes? What will you do?” 

 

“Just be honest, will you.” 

 

He chuckled as he shook his head. In disbelief. “I may be a player but I don’t lie, Sandara.” 

 

“So you like me?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

I bit my lower lip. Will I really give in to his charms? Can I really do it? . Why am I entertaining these thoughts? Jiyong is such a tease, a temptation that I know will ruin me. 

 

“Why?” I asked. I faced him still lying down. “Why do you like me?” 

 

“Do you need a reason to like someone?” 

 

“I don’t like to read between the lines, Ji. I am a factual person.” 

 

He then faced me. Jiyongs sharp eyes met mine. When Jiyong is happy, his eyes glisten. When he is angry or when he’s emotional, his light brown eyes turns dark. And now, I don’t know but Jiyongs eyes mellowed. Damn it. 

 

The way he looks at me sends shivers through my spine. My hands went cold. 

 

“I like the way your lips twitch when you find something amusing.” He said. 

 

Automatically, my lips twitched upwards. I heard him chuckle. “Just like now.” 

 

“S-Shut up.” 

 

“Hmm. I like the way you stutter whenever you deny something. I like your long, brown curly hair and the way it bounces whenever you walk.” 

 

I felt my heart skipped a beat. The emotions I am suppressing… damn it. 

 

“I like whenever you try to win an argument, and I like it more when you laugh after winning the argument.” 

 

“O-Okay. I think that’s enough—“

 

“I also like your confidence. Your handwriting. Your scent. And your y brain.” 

 

Damn it. I bit my lower lip. Jiyong… stop with the tease. I might succumb to this trap, to your trap. To the trap I first laid. This game… I know this is a gamble. To my part. Because I know, you’re a great player. And even before we start, I am slowly, loosing. Not yet, but I know someday, I will be the loser. No matter how much I try not to have these feelings, I cannot stop these. This is beyond attraction. 

 

“I like your—“

 

“Deal.” 

 

Jiyong’s smile hanged as he look at me. “What do you mean?” 

 

I don’t know where I got the confidence to reach for his face. With heavy lidded eyes, I smiled at him. Damn, all of these animals running wild inside my stomach. 

 

“Let’s be buddies.” With a trembling voice, I said, more like a whisper. “No emotions attached. I… cannot reciprocate your feelings for me, Ji. Will you accept that?” 

 

“I’ll be damn if I won’t.” He said with a grin as he claimed my lips for a kiss.