The day that we were going back to reality, I didn’t waste a minute and spent my last morning with Y/N. What happened that night felt so right, however, I was hesitating to ask her out because I don’t even have the time to sleep, let alone dating someone. I was frustrated and desperate, but no matter how I think about our situation I don’t think it would work. And that thought saddens me, funny because I’ve never felt this way before, how can I surpass this? Should I confess or let myself think about it more because maybe all of these are just infatuations. It must not be ‘love’, how can you love someone just by meeting them and knowing them for two days? This is crazy. However, this feeling is crazier than how I think about it. 

I feel peace when I’m with her, wanting more of her presence more than anything else. I feel so dumb having these feelings I will never know if it’s true or not. I guess it’s too early for me to confess my feelings… This must be the feeling of having a crush or a one-sided love which has been so long since I felt it. Just seeing the person you’re having a crush on already feels like it completes your day and saddens you if you didn’t get to see them in a day. I guess I can use these feelings when I write a song for our next album, which I already thought through since last night and actually started jotting down possible lyrics for the melody I made. 

It’s incredible how humans live in this world and get through things with feelings of ‘love’ as we live. 

—---------------------------------------------------

“Hyung!” Taehyung called out from the  bathroom while I fixed my things, packing everything I had. “Yes?” I answered back.

Taehyung came out with my toiletry pouch in his hand, handing it out to me while he brushes his teeth. “Oh thanks! I almost forgot, no wonder something feels missing in here,” I placed the pouch inside my bag while Taehyung was still in front of me brushing his teeth.

“Aren’t you gonna do anything, hyung?”

“What do you mean?” I raised a brow at him, glancing at him then went back to go through the bed in case I left anything behind.

“Eyy hyung, you know what I mean. After you hang out with y/n aren’t you gonna do anything about that? I noticed. I know. I saw everything, hyung. You guys looked so good together and have great chemistry together. Even Jimin hyung noticed it too!” he exclaimed. I just chuckled then let out a sigh as I looked down at my headphones.

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about it since last night and this morning but I don’t know if it will be worth it? You know how busy we are, you know how I wanted to split my mind with my life and work. Even though we’re already famous around the world I can’t just let it slide and slack off as a leader. This is a big responsibility already, I don’t think adding a bigger responsibility like dating will get me through the year. Yes, she gave me so much comfort and peace, but–” I ruffled my hair irritatingly and let out another sigh. “I don’t know.” I flopped back down to the bed.

Taehyung’s shoulder dropped and let out a sigh as well, he knows what I meant, I know he understands me. 

“I know our group is important, I just want you to be happy. I’ve never seen you like that before when you’re with her hyung. You looked so different and happy.” Taehyung mumbled. He flopped down beside me.

“I will support you whatever your decision is, hyung.” he tapped my stomach before he got up and went back to the bathroom.

I let out another sigh before I sat up and went back to packing. I feel like a coward and helpless at the same time. 

—--

“Hey kids, let’s go! It’s almost time for us to check out, get your bags and put it in the car we’re leaving soon. I’ll go to the lobby to pay, okay?” 

I can hear Jin hyung shouting from the outside. I hurriedly picked up my bags and shouted Taehyung’s name towards the bathroom. “Why does he take so long?” I mumbled as I made my way outside the casita. 

I spotted y/n going out from her room. I hesitated if I should call her or not but I remembered that this is the last day I’m going to see her so I called out to her and jogged towards her.

“Let me get that for you,” I grabbed one of her big bags, “Let me carry it for you to your car.”

“Thanks.” she replied with a smile and started walking towards the parking lot. She opened the trunk as we walked straight to her car, gently placing her bag inside. 

“So, we’re going back to reality, huh?” I hesitantly asked a question as I turned to face her, seeing her up close for the last time. 

She nodded with disappointment plastered on her face but it disappeared when she smiled up to me. “Yeah, but you know that’s just how life is.” I nodded and smiled back. 

I met her eyes and I didn’t break it since I want to seize the moment while we’re alone. We stayed like that for a good minute but it feels like forever. It's upsetting that this will be the last time I'll be seeing her.

“I had fun.. With you. Thank you.” I mumbled while still staring at her.

“Me too,” she responded back. “Thank you.” I can feel the sincerity from her voice and how she looks at me. 

“No. I thank you.” I said. Sadly, that is all I can say. I can’t say much, my mind went blank. Then she breaks contact when a friend of hers calls her from far away, shouting that she needs her ID. 

“Well, I guess this is a goodbye? Nice meeting you Mr. Kim Namjoon. It’s a pleasure to meet you guys.. And you.” She smiled widely at me. 

I didn’t get to utter a word as I watched her walking backwards, waving at me. Things start to flood my mind while waving at her, if only I have the courage to push this through I think we can be together. 

“Until the right time comes, we can meet again, Y/N.” I mumbled to myself while I waved at her goodbye.