"MOMMY,” A soft, young voice whispered into Joohyun's mind and pulled her awake.  
 

“Mommy, wake up,” the voice came again, with a gentle touch on her cheek that fully awoke her. 

 

She opened her eyes and saw her daughter Seung Ah standing by the bed. By the light coming through the bedroom windows, it was morning.

 

And feeling the heavy, masculine arm around her waist and the hardness against her backside, she knew Seungwan was still in her bed.   

 

Crap! He'd stayed over, and clearly they forgot to lock the door. 
 

A jolt of panic had Joohyun scrambling up in her bed, which proved to be an unwise idea since she was still beneath the blankets. She pulled the sheet up to make sure she stayed covered from her chest down, and her quick movements jostled Seungwan awake, too. 

 

Joohyun heard Seungwan softly said Oh shoot under his breath as he carefully sat up too, strategically holding the covers at his hips.

 

“Hey sweetie pie,” Joohyun said in a cheerful voice that sounded forced to her own ears. “What are you doing up so early?” It really wasn’t early. A glance at her cell phone on the night stand showed it was 7:28 a.m and Seung Ah had to leave for preschool soon. 

 

“I woke up by myself,” Seung Ah said, then looked curiously at Seungwan. “Why are you in Mommy’s bed?" She asked, her tone guileless "Did you have a bad dream? Mommy only lets me stay here if I have a bad dream.”

 

Thank goodness for a child's innocence, Joohyun thought, grateful Seung Ah's mind went to such a pure scenario.

“Yes, princess,” Seungwan said, striving for a light tone even though his voice was still gruff from sleep. “I did have a bad dream.”

“Oh.” She leaned her little arms against the mattress, seemingly in no hurry to go anywhere, and continued her chatter. “Did Mommy kiss away your fears and hug you to keep you safe from the monsters like she does for me?”

An abrupt chuckle escaped Seungwan from behind Joohyun, but she wasn’t as amused and needed to divert Seung Ah's attention, and quickly. “Honey, why don’t you go and get dressed for school, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen for breakfast in a few minutes.”

 

“Okay.” Seung Ah skipped from the room, and as soon as she was gone, Joohyun jumped out of bed and closed and locked the door.  

Grabbing some underwear from her dresser, she pulled them on, then a bra, jeans, and t-shirt before turning back to Seungwan, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheet around his hips.

 

“This shouldn’t have happened,” she said, unable to keep the edge of anger out of her voice. “How did this happen?”

 

He rubbed a hand along his jaw, then pushed his long fingers through his already messy hair. “We both fell asleep. It’s not that big of a deal, Joohyun,” Seungwan said, trying to calm her down.

 

Joohyun stiffened defensively. “Yes it is a big deal. It’s confusing for Seung Ah.”  
 

He met her gaze steadily. “Then maybe it’s time for us to change our arrangement.”

 

He was completely serious, and her heart pounded hard in her chest. She wasn’t sure she could give him what he was asking for—something much more serious than an affair.

 

The kind of commitment that scared her because things always ended badly in the past.  

 

Joohyun took a deep breath as everything from last night came flooding back—mainly, the honest way Seungwan confessed his love.
 

That same sentiment shone in his eyes, promising her so much if she would just trust him.

 

But her deep fear of rejection, formed from her childhood and continuing into adulthood, kept her from giving him what he wanted, what he deserved.

 

For her, love never lasted, and the guy who came and went always grew tired and moved on. That was all she knew, and it was just a matter of time before Seungwan did the same.  
 

They had come to a crossroads, where she now had to decide which path to choose—for her daughter’s sake and to keep things friendly between them. To keep that friendship, Joohyun knew it was time to let Seungwan go as a lover.

 

 

---

 

 

Seungwan stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, a sense of dread balling in his stomach. He didn't have to be smart to realize Joohyun did a 180 on him in the bedroom.
 

Finding them in bed together brought all her doubts and fears about their relationship back up.  

 

Seungwan knew they'd get to this point, where Joohyun would have to make tough choices. He didn't want to be the guy who slept with her only when the mood struck. He wanted to be the man who loved her, cared for her, and was part of her life every day on a daily basis.

 

He gave her three months to come around, doing his best to prove he wasn't like other guys from her past, that their relationship wasn't a copy of her parents'.
 

Today was the day he'd find out if any of his efforts paid off, because Seungwan couldn't keep this part-time thing with Joohyun. She would have to choose—all of him or nothing. His stomach twisted at the nothing possibility, which was very real.   

 

He splashed water on his face and dried it, then went back to Joohyun's bedroom to get dressed.

 

She was already in the kitchen with Seung Ah, and he joined them after getting fully clothed.
 

He knew Joohyun heard him walked to the coffeepot on the counter and pour himself a cup coffee, but she didn't look at him as she made Seung Ah a peanut butter and jelly for school lunch.

 

Seungwan sat down next to his daughter at the table as she ate her bowl of cereal. After taking a bite, she held up more Honey Nut Cheerios. 
 

“Want some of mine, Daddy?” she asked brightly, unaware of the adults’ tension. “Or some of my juice?”

 

He smiled at her. “I’m good, princess. You need to eat it all so you have a full belly for school.”

 

Seung Ah set her spoon down and lifted her shirt. “I already have a full belly!” she said with a cute grin.

 

“Looks like we need to make more room then,” Seungwan teased, gently poking her belly and making her giggle as she it back in. 
 

“I like you being here for breakfast,” she said happily, drinking her orange juice. “I want you here every morning.”

 

God, Seungwan wanted that too. But Joohyun’s tense shoulders said otherwise. Not knowing how things would go, he drank his coffee.

 

Seung Ah finished, taking her dishes to the sink and getting her My Little Pony backpack. She leaned on Seungwan's leg, looking up hopefully. 

 

“Will you take me to school today?” she asked sweetly, squeezing his heart. As a family, it would be natural...

 

Before he could respond, Joohyun was there packing Seung Ah's lunch. “Daddy has to work, so I’ll take you and Ningning,” she said, voice strained.

 

Seung Ah pouted. “But I want Daddy since he’s here.”

 

Seungwan wasn't going to contradict or undermine Joohyun's decision. He would never instigate a power struggle with Seung Ah in the middle, no matter what happened between him and Joohyun. He lifted her onto his lap, sadness in her eyes. “I have to work, but I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

 

He’d always be there for her, no matter what. That would never change no matter what his relationship with her mother ended up being.

 

“Okay,” she said, not happily. 
 

Seungwan tapped Seung Ah's cute nose to make her grin, and she did. “And if you’re good for Mommy today, I’ll take you out for ice cream after dinner,” he said, though if Joohyun would join them was unsure.

 

She clapped excitedly. “I want chocolate chip!”

 

“You got it.” He set her down as Joohyun grabbed her purse and keys from the counter. 

 

For the first time since bolting from the bedroom, Joohyun looked at him, meeting his gaze. The fear in her eyes had lessened to a silent conviction—she had reinforced her walls Seungwan had worked to break down.  

 

“You can lock the door when you leave,” she said tightly, like she struggled to keep it together until alone.

 

He said nothing as she followed Seung Ah out, planning to wait until she returned so they could talk, which she hadn't let happen.

 

For the next twenty minutes, Seungwan made calls—one to reschedule meeting with his partner Mark for later, and another checking in with a client.  
 

When Joohyun walked in through the front door, she obviously wasn’t surprised to see him, since his SUV was still parked out at the curb.
 

But everything about her was wary—her gaze, her demeanor, and the way she set her purse down on the coffee table but remained standing instead of sitting by him.

 

“I think you and I have unresolved issues,” Seungwan said seriously, knowing this talk wouldn’t be easy.  
 

“There’s nothing unresolved, Seungwan,” Joohyun replied.

 

He arched a brow. “Do you plan to ignore that I told you I love you?”

 

He saw heartache and regret. “It’s not much of ignoring...I'm thinking of Seung Ah and what's best for her.”

 

“And you think that ending our personalrelationship is what’s best for her?” he asked, unable to keep the incredulous tone from his voice.

 

“Or is it best for you because ending things means that there is no risk of you getting hurt?”

She visibly stiffened, as if his words had hit their intended target. “It’s best for both of us,” Joohyun said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

 

“I don’t have a great track record when it comes to men, Seungwan. In fact, they always leave because I either wasn’t worth the effort for a long-term relationship or I wasn’t enough in some way to keep them interested. Even my own father didn’t stick around, unless he needed to use me as some kind of leverage against my mother.”

Her chin lifted a few determined notches. “So yes, in that regard, I’m being proactive, because if something happens between you and me and it ends bitterly, that will directly affect Seung Ah. She’ll get caught in the middle, and I refuse to put our daughter through what I endured growing up because my parents grew to hate each other. I . . . I can’t take that risk,” she said, her voice pained.
 

“You and I are better off just being friends, instead of complicating things with and . . . emotions.”

Seungwan exhaled a deep breath, remembering that night after they’d visited his parents for the first time, when Joohyun had opened up and told him about her childhood—her parents’ nasty divorce, the constant custody battles that no young child should ever have to suffer through, and all the rejections that had left her unable to trust in any relationship.

 

Without a doubt, Joohyun's emotional wounds and doubts ran deep. While he understood she tried protecting Seung Ah, it came at the cost of her own happiness. All he could do was be honest about his feelings, and the rest was up to her.

 

Standing, he walked over to her, ignoring how guardedly she eyed him. Nothing she said or did could change how much he loved her.

 

Given the chance, he knew he wanted to marry her. But she wasn't ready yet, and maybe never would be. The realization stabbed his heart and twisted the wound.

 

Seungwam uncrossed her folded arms and gently held her hands. Her brow furrowed in sudden confusion - his tender actions contrasted their heated words. All he had left was the truth.

 

Softly rubbing her hands, Seungwan said, "When we met over three years ago at the airport, I saw a hurt woman who had been hurt by some who clearly hadn’t appreciated how beautiful you are, inside and out. His loss was my gain, and I was lucky to have that one amazing night with you that I’ll never forget, because we created the best thing that has ever happened to me. Our daughter.”

 

Joohyun swallowed hard, clearly moved, but remained quiet for him to continue. He didn't need a response, just her to hear his heart.

“I thought about you constantly during all those years, because what we had in one night was stronger than anything I’ve ever felt for any other woman . . . and still is,” Seungwan said, meaning it.

 

“If my feelings for you can withstand three and a half years of not even being with you physically, and all based on one night together, then you can bet that I’m the kind of guy who can go the distance. I don’t give up when things get tough. I believe in love, and I believe in what we have together. I want to fight for you, for us, but you have to give me something to fight for.”

 

Joohyun shook her head, blinking tears he saw forming. But she gave him no hope or affirmation to keep trying. 
 

"I want to be yours and you to be mine," he said unashamedly, because that's how he felt.
 

"I want nights and mornings without sneaking around Seung Ah. I want us to be a family. But you're too scared to take a chance, when what we have is so strong already - if you'd just trust me with your heart. I promise I won't break it."

 

"Seungwan...I just can't," Joohyun said softly, tugging her hands free and severing their connection. Then Seungwan knew nothing else he could say would change her mind.

 

 

---

 

 

“Arghh!” Joohyun exhaled the frustrated sound and scrapped the graphic ad she was working on, the fourth version since Seungwan had picked up Seung Ah to take her to see her new baby cousin, who she was completely enamored with—enough that she kept asking for a baby brother of her own and couldn’t understand why Joohyun couldn’t just make it happen.

 

Seungwan and Seung Ah had been gone nearly three hours, and with the house quiet, she’d planned to get caught up on the work that had piled up over the past week and a half since she’d ended her affair with Seungwan.
 

Since he’d walked out her door after baring his soul and had gotten nothing in return because she’d been too petrified to let go of all her emotional childhood baggage—and some adult issues, too—and be strong and confident and have faith in every promise he’d made.

Since that day, her creativity had been in lock down. It was as if her mind was rebelling against the rash, short-sighted decision she’d made to push Seungwan out of her life, and instead was forcing her to think about everything she’d given up and lost.

Well . . . not lost yet, her brain taunted her.

 

But Joohyun did stand to lose a one-of-a-kind man who been nothing but dependable, loyal, and the kind of father to Seung Ah that Joohyun wished she'd had growing up.
 

Because despite everything Seungwan had said to her that last morning, it wasn’t fair to think or believe that he would wait around for her forever.

 

Not when she hadn’t given him any reason to.

The ache in her chest that had been a perpetual reminder of what an idiot she’d been to let him go seemed to increase day by day, as did her doubts and convictions when it came to her reasons for doing so.

 

Every time she saw Seungwan—which was every day, since he saw Seung Ah in the evenings after work and on the weekends—only made her realize how much she missed him.
 

Not the , but just being with Seungwan, and the three of them doing things together as . . . well, a family.

 

That no longer happened. At first, Joohyun chose not to join Seungwan and Seung Ah's outings, though he'd asked - it was too painful seeing him, and she wanted boundaries set clearly for Seung Ah.
 

Except it only confused the three-year old girl, used to them being a trio, now missing her mother.  
 

Joohyun understood the confusion, feeling it herself. Plus she missed Seungwan terribly, no wonder she couldn't focus at work.  

 

Her doorbell startled her thoughts.

 

Figuring Seungwan and Seung Ah returned from his sister's, she steadied herself to face him during drop-off and opened the door - finding Karina instead.

 

"Hey," Joohyun said surprised.  
 

Karina lifted a plate with a decadent lemon loaf cake. "I brought you this. I think we need girl talk over dessert," she said grinning.

 

Joohyun knew what kind of girl talk Karina was interest in discussing her and Seungwan. She was shocked it took Karina this long to address what happened, last time too upset to explain.
 

 The first time Karina had asked, which had been the day everything had changed between the two of them, Joohyun hadn’t been ready to talk, for fear of having an emotional breakdown over her decision.

 

But enough time had passed that having a conversation about Seungwan wouldn’t reduce her to tears or the sobbing mess she had been at night when Seung Ah was fast asleep in her bed and Joohyun was all alone.

 

“Come on in,” Joohyun invited, and the two of them headed into the kitchen. “Would you like coffee or iced tea?”

“Let’s go with iced tea,” Karina said as she set the lemon loaf on the counter, then took down two smaller plates from the overhead cupboard.

While Joohyun filled two glasses with their drink of choice, Karina handled the cutting of the cake. They sat down at the table, and Karina gave her the chance to taste just one bite of the delicious treat before she spoke what was on her mind.

“So, what is it going to take to make you come to your senses about Seungwan?” she asked, point- blank. “I’ve spent the past week and a half seeing you depressed and watching that gorgeous guy who clearly adores you looking equally miserable, so clearly, neither one of you is happy just being friends.”

 

Joohyun winced at her friend’s blatant, and accurate, depiction of her and Seungwan. “Yeah, it’s been . . . rough.”

“That man is as rare as gold, you know that, right?” Karina asked, as if Joohyun wasn’t smart enough to figure that out for herself . . . which was almost true.

 

It had just taken her a bit of time to see what she could potentially lose.

“I pushed him away. Hard,” Joohyun admitted after swallowing a bite of her lemon cake.
 

“I just . . . panicked. I had horrible flashbacks of my parents’ hellish divorce, and all the guys in my past who never stuck around, and I suppose a part of me just felt like I wasn’t good enough for a man like Seungwan.”

Karina's mouth literally fell open. “Not good enough? Did he ever make you feel that way? Because if so, I’m going to have to kick his .”

Joohyun laughed. “No, never.” All she’d ever felt with Seungwan was beautiful and alive and happier than she could ever remember.

 

“Even as I was pushing him away to protect my heart, I knew it was already too late, that I’d already fallen in love with him. I was just too scared to put it out there because it made me feel so vulnerable.”

 

“Oh honey,” Karina said gently. “He’s nothing like those other jerks you dated. You know that, right?”  

 

“Of course,” Joohyun replied without doubt. “I knew when we ended things too. But it happened so fast between us, so intense, that I kept waiting for it to fall apart like before. I thought ending it now would be easier than months from now, but God, I miss him.”  

 

“So what will you do about it?” Karina took a sip of tea, watching Joohyun over the rim before setting it down. “You are doing something, right?”

 

“I want to...”

 

“But?”

 

“What if I hurt him too badly and his feelings change?” she asked in a rush breath, before she lost the nerve.

 

Karina burst out laughing. “Bae Joohyun, are you freaking blind? Yes, you hurt him by pushing away, but Seungwan is the most understanding guy. I’ve seen him at your door dropping Seung Ah off, and how he looks at you... God, you’re blind because everything about his body language tells me he’s just waiting for the day that you finally come to your senses and give him the chance he deserves.”

 

Joohyun thought back to everything Seungwan had said to her, the sincere words he’d spoken coming easily because she’d not only memorized them but she replayed them in her head every night while her mind played a game of what if. 

 

Most specifically, what if she’d trusted him with her heart that day . . . and the answer was always the same.

 

She’d be happy, she’d be in love, and the three of them would be a family.

 

How could she have ever doubted that it would be any other way?

The doorbell rang, and Joohyun heart began a heavy, nervous beat inside of her chest because it was most likely Seungwan and Seung Ah. She looked at Karina, who gave her an understanding smile.

“It’s now or never,” her friend said, as if she knew exactly what Joohyun had been thinking.

 

“For now, don’t obsess about the future. Just take one day at a time with Seungwan. Let him show you exactly what kind of man he is, and let yourself believe you’re worth everything he has to offer you, and Seung Ah.”

“Okay,” she said, and stood, her stomach now joining in on the bout of nervous jitters.

Karina gave her a hug, then looked into Joohyun's eyes as she offered her last bit of support. “Trust me, you’ve got this.”

 

Karina and Joohyun walked to the living room, when Joohyun opened the door Karina said to Seung Ah, "Hey kiddo, wanna play with Ningning and have dinner?" 

 

"Yeah!" Seung Ah said excitedly. "Can I mommy?"

 

"Sure, have fun and be good," Joohyun said as they headed to Karina's, leaving her alone with Seungwan.

 

Which left her and Seungwan standing on opposite sides of the door, awkwardly alone since Seung Ah had been their buffer for the past week and a half.

 

“I guess I’ll go,” Seungwan said, but before he could turn around, Joohyun grabbed his arm to stop him. A slight confused frown formed on his brow as he looked at her. “Everything okay?”
 

"Yes...no..." she was already a blabbering mess. "I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes?"

 

"About Seung Ah?" he asked,  because that's all they’ had been really discussing since that morning.

 

Joohyun shook her head, swallowing her dry throat. "No, about...us."

 

His frown remained as he hesitated, doubts swirling before agreeing. "Okay." Seungwan walked in, Joohyun shutting the door and facing him.

 

They were in the small living room, a few feet apart with him staring at her as he waited for her to speak, and all she could think was, how in the world did she ease into this conversation? And then it came to her.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about everything that happened that morning,” Joohyun said, knowing he didn’t need clarification of which morning she was referring to.

 

“For the crazy way I reacted and for pushing you away and for doubting everything you said to me. It was so wrong.”

“You don’t owe me an apology for the way you feel,” Seungwan said, his voice a little gruff and uncertain.

She bit her bottom lip as she prepared to take that leap of faith with him. “Yes, I do, because I was wrong, and my issue was, is, that I feel so much for you it scares me to death.”

“I know,” he said simply, the look in his eyes softening, but he remained right where he was, when she wanted so badly for him to close the distance between them.

So, she continued, wanting everything out there —her fears, her insecurities, the doubts she never, ever should have had about him. “ You were right . . . it was easier in that moment to just let you go instead of risking getting hurt."

 

“And now?”

She couldn’t stop her hands from twisting anxiously in front of her. “And now, I know how much it hurts not to have you in my life. And how much it hurts to be in love with someone, with you, and being so scared that I might have totally screwed everything up.”

The corner of his mouth twitched imperceptibly, and he raised a dark, challenging brow. “Say that again, Joohyun,” Seungwan ordered softly.

There was no doubt in her mind what part he wanted her to repeat, and she did so with every bit of the emotion that was trying to burst free from her. “I love you, Seungwan. So much.”

With a relieved groan, Seungwan walked the steps it took to reach her and immediately pulled her into his arms. “God, Joohyun,” he said against her ear, his own voice rough with joy. “It took you long enough to figure it out.”

“I know, and that’s why I’m sorry,” Joohyun said against his strong, muscled chest as she squeezed her arms tight around him.
 

“Because I should have known right then and there that you are a man of your word, that when you say you’re in it for the long haul, you mean it.”

Seungwan pulled back slightly, just enough to take her face between his hands so he could look into her eyes.

 

“Baby, I’m all-in, and don’t you ever forget that. I don’t give up, and I’m not going anywhere, ever. I love you, and when you’re ready, I’m going to marry you.”

 

Joohyun couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes, and did her best to blink them back. “I want to be yours, Seungwan. I want to be a family with you and Seung Ah. I want it all,” she said, trusting him completely, without any fears.

A big grin spread across his handsome face. “Ahhh, I like it when you’re greedy.”

She laughed at the ual innuendo in his voice. “ That’s what you get for being so good at everything you do.”

“Hmm.” Desire flickered in his darkening gaze as Seungwan brought his hands down to her , then a little lower to her thighs. “How long before Seung Ah gets home?” he asked as he effortlessly lifted her, and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, their minds already back in sync.

“Oh, a few hours,” Joohyun said, anticipation in her voice as he started down the hall toward her bedroom.

“Perfect,” Seungwan murmured, the heat in his eyes making her breathless. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

Joohyun agreed, and as Seungwan pushed her back on the bed and came over her, his mouth hot and hungry on hers and his hands slowly stripping away her clothes so he could worship every inch of her, Joohyun let herself be loved by the man who would always have her back, take care of her and their child, and most importantly never, ever leave.

 

 

---

 

 

THE END!!!

Next would be just a short epilogue..

Thankyouu