The rain was falling heavily, and the streets were all but deserted; only Byun Baekhyun could be seen walking through the rain. His brown hair was wet and sticking to his forehead, his eyes were downcast and vacant, and his oversized clothes were soaked and clinging to his thin frame.

He had been wandering through the streets for hours, numb, and completely unaware of his surroundings. Baekhyun was lost, lonely and a little desperate. He was looking for a little solace, maybe even company. No one cared though, most people didn't even look at him as he trudged through the rain, soaked to the bone, cold and broken.

He was ready to give up when an umbrella appeared over his head. At that moment he couldn't even begin to describe what he had been feeling. Relief that someone had noticed him, confusion as to why he was helping him, and worry that he had gotten in someone's way.

The stranger's next words managed to convince him that what he had been worrying about was not so, and suddenly he was just flooded with overwhelming happiness that someone cared.

"You're going to catch a cold."

He was taller than Baekhyun, a little darker, more handsome, and under the rain his features were that much more striking.

"Thank you…"

"Why are you walking outside in the heavy rain?" The other man sounded genuinely concerned and his face was twisted in worry.

"…Lost," Baekhyun whispered. "I feel lost…"

The stranger's name was Kim Jongin and he was a student at the local university. So that meant that Baekhyun was older than him. Jongin had taken him back to his apartment when he said he had nowhere to go and allowed him to stay. He had told his roommate that Baekhyun was a friend.

“Why are you helping me?” Baekhyun asked him after he had been there for about two days. He didn’t mean to sound rude or anything, but he was simply curious.

“Do I need a reason?” Jongin asked without turning to look at him, his attention on his homework.

Baekhyun didn’t reply, thinking that he was purposely avoiding the question. He supposed that he didn’t need a reason though. He moved himself towards Jongin’s desk and slid down next to him.

“…I don’t know why to be honest,” Baekhyun heard Jongin say with a sigh. “I just… couldn’t leave you alone…”

The older male placed his chin upon his knees.

“Thank you,” He replied. “…I’d like to make it up to you, somehow.”

“I have to finish this,” Jongin said with a shrug. “So, we can talk about this later.”

“Right, of course,” Baekhyun mumbled into his knees before closing his eyes.

And for the rest of the night he just sat next to Jongin’s desk, lost in his own thoughts. Soon enough, he fell asleep, and was unaware when the younger male lifted him on to his own bed.

“Why were you wandering the streets that day?”

Baekhyun was startled out of his thoughts by the sudden question. He’d been staying with Jongin for a little more than a week, and he’d never brought it up before.

"I have nothing to live for," Baekhyun admitted, looking at Jongin. "I've lost my family, friends, and…my Chanyeol…"

"Chanyeol?"

"Chanyeol… was my lover," Baekhyun sighed. "He died because of me…"

Jongin was looking at him now and he looked curious.

"I… made bets with death…"

"What do you mean?"

"Russian roulette…"

"But why would you risk their lives like that?" Jongin sounded incredulous.

"I was forced to…" Baekhyun's voice was small and barely audible. "And now I’m forced to live with my terrible decisions and the lives of far too many…"

"I'm sorry…" Jongin turned back to the coffee that he'd been making. "Would you like some?"

"No, thank you," Baekhyun mumbled as he headed back to the sofa he had been sleeping on for the past week. "I think I'm just going to turn in for the night… thanks again…"

He lay down so that his back was facing Jongin and pretended to sleep. He hadn't told him the whole truth and he was glad that the younger male hadn't pushed further.

Baekhyun had borrowed a large sum of money and had had no means of returning it any time soon. The people had gotten tired of waiting and had kidnapped almost everyone and anyone close to him.

He'd been forced to play with each of them, and as each of them had died and he had survived, Baekhyun had started to feel this unexplainable rush. He had wanted to live; he had wanted to outlive all of them.

At some point it really did just become a game to him, a game of chance. He had almost forgot that human lives were at stake.

The very last person had been Chanyeol, and by that point his hands were shaking and he wasn't really sure he could go through with it. Chanyeol had smiled at him, told him it wasn't his fault. Tears were in both of their eyes as Chanyeol lifted the gun to his head.

And then it was over. His eyes went blank and he slumped over on to the table. Baekhyun screamed.

The person that he cared about most had just died in front of his eyes, but he felt this sort of empty thrill and rush of adrenaline because he was alive. There was loud laughter behind him and he felt numb as he was lifted out of his chair and tossed out of the building. They had considered his debt paid.

It wasn't until he was outside in the pouring rain, did the full force of what he had just done hit him. Baekhyun fell on to his knees and cried and cried and cried until he could no longer cry anymore. And he continued to kneel there as the rain washed away everything and anything else that had kept him alive.

He was startled out of his memories by the feeling of someone's lips upon his forehead.

"Goodnight, Baekhyun-ssi," Jongin whispered into his ear. "I hope you're having sweet dreams."

His footsteps could be heard as he walked away.

As Baekhyun drifted off to sleep, he felt this emptiness in his heart, and realized that what he wanted was to experience that thrill again, that thrill of putting his life on the line.

"Baekhyun-ah!" Jongin shouted as he gripped his shoulders and shook him. "You need to stop!"

Baekhyun was shaking as he looked the younger boy in the eye. It had been a month since he had come to his… revelation of sorts. And he had been going out everyday, seeking out ‘victims,’ as Jongin so adequately put it.

"I-I can't…" By this point it was more than obvious this had become an addiction; he really couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried.

"You need help," Jongin cried, his voice rising. "Innocent people are dying…"

"I know!" He cried out. "But I just can't-!"

Jongin leaned forward and captured his lips in a rough kiss.

"Please…" He whispered desperately. "Try, for me…"

At that point, they weren’t in a relationship, so that kiss really surprised Baekhyun. He could only nod weakly in response to Jongin’s plea before leaning forward slightly and kissing him again. There was a feverish passion behind his kiss, and he felt the younger male hesitate before kissing him back with an almost equal passion.

Baekhyun stumbled back after a moment, his heart pounding and incoherent thoughts filling his head.

“…I think I can,” He stuttered, with his hands over his cheeks. “With your help…”

And he kept that promise, just with some amount of difficulty. Jongin came home, sometimes, to find him pointing at his head with a finger gun. At first he waved it off as nothing serious, but as he came back to it more and more frequently, he knew he could no longer just ignore it. Baekhyun was going through major withdrawal, and Jongin knew that he had to do something about it.

“I…I just need one…please…” He gasped as Jongin tried to pull his hand away from his head.

“Fine, then play with me,” The younger male stated, releasing his arm.

That stopped Baekhyun’s struggling as his hand dropped numbly to his side.

“No…” He whispered; his entire body began to shake. “No… I can’t lose someone else…”

The older male wound his arms around himself tightly, now rocking back and forth while continuously muttering “no,” over and over.

Jongin looked on helplessly for a moment before finally stepping forward and grabbing both of his arms.

“Baekhyun-ah!” He shouted, trying to get him to stop. “Baekhyun-ah! It’s okay, I was kidding…”

It took a moment for his words to sink in, but Baekhyun eventually stopped. He titled his head and looked blankly into Jongin’s eyes for a long moment.

“You… wouldn’t leave me, right?” His voice was barely audible, and he was very visibly shaken by what Jongin had thought to be harmless words.

“No, I promise…” The taller male reassured him before pulling him into his arms and holding him as tightly as he could. “I wouldn’t do that to you…”

 Jongin was Baekhyun’s relief; he was the only thing keeping him sane.

He’d volunteered, one day, to go buy groceries since Jongin had exams to study for. When he got back, though, the student was gone, and in his place was a single note.

Come play with us, Baekhyun, we know you’re dying to.

His hands were shaking as he reread the note. They took Jongin from him, they really intended on leaving him alone in the world. They were right though; he was dying to play. He needed to feel that thrill of knowing that he could survive or die instantly. It wasn’t luck. He’d never really believed in luck. He scrunched up the note and tossed it across the room, letting out a loud shout of frustration as he did so.

Baekhyun arrived at that place that he was all too familiar with, with a heavy heart. His breathing was shallow and his mind was currently incapable of thinking coherent thoughts. Slowly and reluctantly, he walked up to the door and knocked.

There was a momentary pause before the door creaked open and he came face to face with some one that he had hoped that he would never have to see again.

"Hey boys, look who's back!" The man yelled into the room as he roughly pulled Baekhyun inside. "We're very glad that you're back. You were so entertaining last time."

Baekhyun cringed as he was pushed deeper and deeper in until he finally saw Jongin. The other was tied up against a pole; his face looked bruised, and he was unconscious.

"Jongin!" Baekhyun cried out in alarm and tried to rush to him, only to be stopped by a rough hand gripping his shoulder tightly.

"Oh no you don't," A menacing voice then whispered into his ear, sending unsettling shivers down his spine.

He stopped struggling and just stared as someone went over to Jongin and untied him, causing the other to fall on to the floor. This time no one stopped him this time as he ran towards the younger male.

"Jongin-ah!" He cried as he shook the other gently. "Jongin-ah… please wake up…"

Jongin didn't react immediately and that caused Baekhyun to suspect the worst.

"Baek…hyun-ah…" The older male's head snapped up at the sound of the other's voice, his eyes already red with tears. "Y-you… came… for me…"

"Of course I did…” Baekhyun replied softly, running a hand over the bruise on Jongin's cheek. "I would never leave you here…"

When the younger male winced at the contact, he tried to remove his hand but Jongin held it there.

"No, it… it feels nice…" He said, and Baekhyun could see the love in his eyes, that despite what had happened he didn't feel any resentment to him whatsoever and the shorter male could honestly say that he was glad for that, glad and extremely relieved.

"Aww," A deep voice interrupted their brief but intimate moment. "How very touching."

And then they were being pulled apart from each other before being dragged over to a table.

"But we're on a deadline, so let's get this started."

Jongin and Baekhyun were forced to sit down facing each other and two guns were placed in front of them. Jongin was crying as well by this point, it was clear that he didn't want to do this; that he still wanted to live. Baekhyun hoped that he could allow him to.

"Quit dawdling!" A different voice yelled. "Just do it!"

So with shaky hands, they both picked up a gun. It was way too late to regret anything now.

"Any last words?" A broad shouldered and short man stepped forward.

"Baekhyun-ah," Jongin whispered lovingly. "Despite everything, I don't regret anything and I don't blame you. I love you and please move on, live on…"

The gun was lifted to his head and the trigger was pulled before Baekhyun could even process what he had said.

"Jongin-ah!" It was like Chanyeol all over again.

Kim Jongin was lying on the table, blood seeping through the wound on his head, and his eyes still wide open.

"No… Jongin-ah…" A welcome numbness spread through his body, as he just seemed to stop registering anything.

The next thing he knew he was outside again and it was raining. He didn't even remember moving. Looking down, he noticed that he still had the gun in his hand. He was about to throw it away in anger when he noticed that it seemed slightly heavier than before. Checking it, he saw that there was now a bullet in the barrel; they were giving him a way out. Without a second thought, Baekhyun lifted the gun to his head. At least this time he knew the result.

THE END

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So um, short one shot.... I hope you liked it ^_^; I'm sorry if it made no sense... omg.

Thank you so much for reading! And thank you so much to the people that were already subscribed! ^_^ <3