Being Kang Joonhee’s roommate was like being married, that was what Daehyun thought the morning after his junior had moved in and found breakfast freshly made and set for two waiting for him when he woke up.  It wasn’t really the kind of thing that was expected when two men started rooming together maybe it was a first day thing, the way someone might be on their best behaviour the first day of work.  Thinking of it like that made it less startling and more of a pleasant surprise.  He could live like this for a week.

“Good morning,” Joonhee greeted him as he sat at the table, focused on the food that was neatly laid on the table.  “Morning,” he mumbled in return, picking up the chopsticks.  It took him a few experimental clicks before he managed to snag some kimchi for himself, still half asleep.  It made him wonder how Joonhee had managed to not only make breakfast but already look perfectly groomed and awake.  Really perfectly groomed, not a hair out of place.  The only thing out of place actually was the apron, which must have been Joonhee’s because he didn’t think he owned one to begin with.

“If this is what it’s like being your roommate I think I’m going to enjoy it.”

“It’s not, I don’t usually make breakfast.  I just thought I’d try for a good first impression.”

He laughed at the honesty and Joonhee grinned in return, a slanted grin not the symmetrical and polite smile he used at the hospital.  “You just ruined it,” he said lightly, still fiddling with his chopsticks.

“Did I?  I think if sunbae is always like this in the morning you’re the one that’s going to have a ruined image,” Joonhee returned with a laugh.  They were close enough to drop some formalities but Joonhee wasn’t someone that was open by nature, that had been the impression anyways.  The kind of guy that was impossible to know very well through work only.  He was someone that was friendly and got along with others easily, the kind of guy that if he had a younger sister he’d want her to date Joonhee.  Daehyun didn’t really see Joonhee laugh much, so seeing him do so relatively early in the morning was nice, the way the smell of coffee was nice in the morning.

Joonhee finished eating relatively quickly (he didn’t seem to eat much in the morning, even though he’d made the effort to make a full breakfast) and left the apartment first since Joonhee had morning shift today.

Daehyun wondered why he’d even bothered to wake up to eat breakfast with his roommate when his shift had ended at 3 am this morning himself.  Good behaviour on the first day of work wasn’t something that only Joonhee thought of.

For the next three days Joonhee didn’t even fully realise that he’d moved at all, it was one of the benefits of a too demanding job.  He barely had time to focus on his feelings or even his meals when it got hectic.  He didn’t even have time to return the call from Yoonjae that he missed the day before the last.  It wasn’t something that he’d never done before but it wasn’t something common either.  Hopefully Yoonjae would simply assume that something had come up at the hospital and not read too deeply into it.

Joonhee didn’t try to decide whether there was a deeper meaning.  He was too busy to really, had one more sixteen hour shift before his day off.  That he’d taken the wrong bus and gone back to the apartment he had shared with Yoonjae accidentally yesterday was purely the doing of his sleep deprived mind. it had no greater meaning.

When Yoonjae showed up at the hospital just as Joonhee’s shift ended his smile didn’t come immediately.  It was probably because he was running on three hours of sleep; hopefully that was what Yoonjae thought.  Joonhee checked his phone as he made his way to Yoonjae and saw that he’d miss two more calls.

“Ah, sorry...  I didn’t have a chance to check.”  It was true, he’d been in surgeries almost all day and had barely had the time to eat lunch, let alone check his phone.

“It’s fine, I figure you got busy,” Yoonjae waved dismissively, letting his hand fall on Joonhee’s shoulder casually, naturally.  “I just wanted to grab dinner together.  It’s kind of weird not seeing you for so long.”

Joonhee laughed at that, wondered why it was that Yoonjae was the one vocalised that kind of thing when he was the one in love.  But then it wasn’t the kind of thing Joonhee would say without prompting, it would be something too uncomfortable for him to say.  “Are you saying you miss me already?  It’s only been a few days,” he teased as he shrugged Yoonjae’s hand off his shoulder, walking just a half step ahead to make their way out of the hospital.

Even when they lived together they certainly didn’t see each other every day.  Joonhee’s work hours were always long, and when they were longer he could go an entire week only glimpsing Yoonjae briefly, talking to him over the phone (or only text depending on how hectic his schedule was) and notes scrawled on scraps of paper in the apartment.

“Yeah but you always leave me food even when you’re not around.”  Yoonjae caught up, slinging his arm around Joonhee’s shoulders in a way that he couldn’t easily remove without being obvious.

“Ah, so you’re just too lazy to feed yourself.”

“Only some days.”

The automatic doors opened and closed, the air outside warm and damp.

“When did it start to rain?” Joonhee hadn’t noticed at all, hadn’t even realised that the clouds had been dark and heavy this morning because he’d been in the hospital all day.

“Since this morning, aren’t you glad I came to pick you up?”

They ended up at a small restaurant not too far from the hospital.  Honestly, since he’d been eating pre made and bought food the last few days Joonhee had intended to cook, but he couldn’t say that without inviting Yoonjae back to the apartment.  Which he didn’t want to do.   He didn’t feel ready to have his then and now blend together like that even if it didn’t make sense.  He needed it, that kind of nonsense distance, a space away from Yoonjae.

The food was passable but the specialty coffees were excellent, which Joonhee had remembered only after suggesting the place.  He didn’t have any while Yoonjae ordered something that was more syrup than coffee, topped with fresh whipped cream.  It was a moment to sit and talk after dinner, catch up on time that had barely moved forward.  It had been less than a week.

At the same time even though it had been such a brief time it felt like something was different.

Maybe all that had ever really been necessary was for him to think: I want to change.  It was really simple, wasn’t it?  But even though the beginning seemed so simple and easy it was bittersweet and just a little bit painful. 

After dinner Joonhee let Yoonjae drop him off but told him he’d invite him over another time because he hadn’t unpacked his things properly yet.  Because he hadn’t talked to his roommate yet about visitors (“Even though he’s your senior he’s your roommate, do you have to be that formal?” Yoonjae had asked.).  He made excuses that he wasn’t sure were necessary because this change was making him nervous.
 

He put the extra food in the fridge.  It took him a moment to figure out where to put the note so that his roommate would see it but he ended up just holding it up with a magnet on the fridge door as well.  These sorts of things he’d figure out along the way, certainly.
 

Not sure what you like to eat but there’s food in the fridge, top shelf.  Help yourself.