Snowflakes One: Meetings ❄

      The first snowflake of the early flurry of winter touched the tip of my nose, making me lost my track on my way to the auditorium and adoring the cold ice melting on the tip of my schnoz. I’ve always love winters. Snowflakes and tiny sheets of ice dancing in the middle of cold air and soon when their little   Charleston is over, you’ll see how they painted the busy city of Seoul in pure white and gentleness.  It’s a sublime façade of the city where streets were always filled with beeping cars and busy people with a coffee in their hand rushing every morning not to be late for their work or students like me who don’t want to be scolded by an old geezer (my personal nickname for our scary principle) and be punished later. I got on my tracks again, dashing in the long staircase toward the big building but I almost slipped because of a pile of snow on my way but a strong and yet a gentle grip saves me from it.  I was planning just to utter a simple ‘thank you’ and dash away because I’m really running out of time but 2 worried big orbs of a petite boy with a small face suddenly popped out infront me, making me blink for several times. I never saw anyone like this before. Mostly males in my age or in this university were mostly men ‘like’ but him.. He is the epitome of fragility.

‘’ you should be careful! If I weren’t here you could almost have a broken skull by now’’ he almost mumbled the last sentence with a tint of red was indeed forming in his cheeks.

“ uhm.. y-yeah’’ I glanced at my watch in my wrist knowing that I only have freaking 5 minutes to get my inside.

‘’ I should really really need to by go by now. Uh thank you for being worried but I really need to go. Bye!’’ I dashed away, almost galloping in fact and not even daring to take a one last glance at him. Damn I didn’t even ask his name but I made sure that i imprinted his face very well in my mind. 

I heard a little utter at the back of my head.

“ .. s-see you ..a-around” I don’t know if it’s from the boy or just from my imagination. But I wished I could really see him around. To thank him again I guess.

I tiptoed quietly at the back door of the room, my lungs are still lacking of oxygen because of the run I made awhile ago and I can feel bids of sweat forming at the crescent of my forehead. Mr. Kim was already starting his announcement for the theme of the last concours. I sat at the very far seat next to Yixing so Mr. Kim won’t feel my late presence. It’s a normal afternoon for co-ed students but for music major students like me, not very pleasant at all. You can feel the smell of excitement and pressure of competitiveness across the room.

‘’you’re late’’ Yixing said in his usual bored tone. His head was resting at his arm, looking tired as usual. As far as I know I’ve always been with Lay. Little boys who were taught to play with the piano instead of playing with other kids with robot and toy cars, that’s what my childhood was all about and thus bounded me somehow to this old grumpy guy beside me. 

“ atleast I don’t look like an old grumpy man who carries big black bags under my eyes” I grinned, earning a glare from him.

“ KAMJJONG”

“..HEY WHA-“

I was stopped mid sentence when Mr. Kim cleared his throat, taking the entire student’s attention towards him "the principal already decided what will be the last theme for the finals. The theme is quite hard for amateur musicians like you, since you are all still students. A great determination and a big chunk of inspiration, I think these might help you to get through of it nicely" Mr. Kim smiled a bit, easing the tension and nervousness in the room. I saw him eyeing me a bit. Geez I’m behaving nicely here and not causing trouble at him today, he might sensed that I was late (well I’m always late because of late afternoon practices at the music room everyday). I gasped in terror. I’m surely dead later at home.

Inspiration huh dad? 
 

"So saem what is the theme of the last stage?" Luhan cooed. He is a senior as far as I know, but why does he looks so oddly young.. Like the boy awhile ago hmm.
"The theme is finding your true self" he mused; flashing a warm smile again, one of the scary smiles I hate seeing the most.

"You need to compose piece but just remember this: the piece you’ll compose must reflect who really you are. It’s a melodious act where you can put all your emotions or your hidden desires for certain someone or just a piece where you can simply express freely who you really are."

"The principal decided to give you 3 month allotment for the last stage of this competition. He’s expecting a lot to all of you because of the good criticisms he received ever since this concours started. Many well known people will attend and maybe some prodigies in the field of classical music and a few people from well-known publishing companies in the Korea too" Mr. Kim continued “You’ll be judged by the principal and some idols who were quite professional in this field’’ The girls at the back (first years probably) squealed just hearing the word 'idols'. A few ‘ohh’s and ahh’s were exchanged across the room. I could feel Yixing raised his head now, resting it at the head of the chair. He sighs again while closing his eyes and maybe drifts again to another nap.

The teacher declared that the students can go back to their respective classrooms, and soon its only myself was left. When it’s my turn to go out, Mr. Kim stopped me halfway to the door and ordered to sit infront of him. Mr. Kim was my dad. Well mostly of the staff of our school knows that but the students don’t. They will think I’m using the prestige that I have to this concours under my dad’s name, which will make this competition to seem biased so that’s why the school hid it from all of the students. I worked my whole to be in this place I’m in now. I don’t want to be known as the son of the best pianist of Seoul, I want to be known as the ‘Kim Jongin’. A man who has an undying zeal For a musical stringed instrument resembling a harp set in a vertical orhorizontal frame, played by depressing keys that cause hammers to strike the strings and produce audible vibrations.

I live for the sake of playing the piano. I live only for the piano.

“Don’t disappoint your mother again Jongin. She promised me she’ll cancel all of her meetings in that day just to watch you play. Please don’t be hard headed son.” My dad smiled, contented.

“ why the witch will do that?!As if she can get something relevant for her little company by seeing me play that ‘useless toy’” I said sarcastically while narrowing my eyes.

Mom always hated the fact that I love playing the piano. I even asked my dad why when I won my first recital and mom didn’t even dare to say yes at my teacher’s attention. She straightly declined the invitation and use her excuse that she’s busy with work but he always answer me with “She’s just busy son. Just understand your mom. She’s really proud of you, always keep that in mind.” But she never attended in all of my competitions or even when I performed Petrushka by Stravinsky in my high school graduation. Manually not so easy and musically complicated, like any other piano reduction by Stravinsky but that’s the way I like it. Its difficultness challenges my inner fears that give me strength the end of the day. Petrushka is the story of a Russian traditional puppet, Petrushka, who is made of straw and with a bag of sawdust as his body, but who comes to life and develops emotions. He can be compared to Pinocchio who merely knows himself.

heaving a soft sigh as I exist the room.

 ‘’ I will still try Dad. I will still try’’