The whole day is completely wasted now. The sun has long since set for the night and the cold winter breeze only saddens the situation. You've been stood up. Again. Like many times. The faint sound of music lingers in the frozen air and you try your best to block it out. You toss the unused concert tickets into the trash can as you and your friend drag your feet hopelessly to her car.
"I can't believe we waited for him," She begins again, swinging open her car door violently. "Those tickets were so expensive. He should pay us back." You nod silently, wishing she would just drop it. You had to hear her nagging voice all night as you waited for him to show, because like always, he promised he would come. Sadly, like always, he didn't. Still, she has every right to be mad. You drug her along even though she hates this band, just in case he didn't show. So you wouldn't be alone. What you didn't know was that they would stop letting people in at a certain time.
"I'm really sorry." You mumble for the thousandth time, watching the thin, leave less trees pass by out of your window. You can feel her looking at you, but you don't acknowledge her.
"It's ok," She takes a deep breath and you know she's going into older sister mode and is probably going to give you one hell of a lecture about how he doesn't deserve you and if you had any sense at all you'd dump his sorry pronto. It's the lecture they all give you; the words and even the empathetic tone are identical, no matter who's telling you. "I just wish you'd see the situation from my point of view. How many times has he done this?"
"It's not a big deal, really. Relax." You say. It's not that you think his behavior is ok, but he's done far worse than this, and you don't feel like arguing with her.
"Are you defending him?" She says, sounding like she just might die of shock.
"No, no. It's just...I already know what you’re going to say. I know he's no good for me. I know he just complicates things, but I can't leave him."
"Why not? If you know all this, why do you stay with him? Do you like being made a fool of over and over again?" She says, breaking at a red light. The thick, dark clouds hide the moon and all looks horribly lonely outside. A tiny shower begins, and the small specks of rain sprinkle the glass and into your face through your slightly open window.
"I'm in love, I guess." You say, quietly. She huffs and runs her fingers through her long dark hair.
"That's pathetic. I know what he does to you and that's not love, honey." You can feel burning, prickly tears swelling in your eyes, but you're experienced at hiding them.
"I think I'll walk the rest of the way," You say unbuckling your seatbelt. She opens to protest or apologize but you’re out the door before she can speak. You pull your hood over your head and run to the sidewalk.
"Get in here! I'm sorry, ok?" She shouts as she rolls the window down lower. You shake your head, stubbornly and begin walking.
"You're so ridiculous, you know that? You're gonna catch a cold!" The light turns green, and the cars behind her honk loudly.
"Just go." You say, waving your hand. She shakes her head and speeds off into the night. The fresh air feels nice, but the rain is ice cold on your skin as it slowly soaks through your jacket. It's times like this when you wish Jun Hyung would come through on all his promises. Not just dates, but everything. You know he tries and has good intentions, but when will he become the person you need? All your time spent with him feels like a test. Even after three years, it still feels like he doesn't trust you. He still hasn't let down his walls and he keeps his heart locked away so far, you could never dream of touching it. He seems to want to trust you, but something is always holding him back. Something strong and sad that he never wants to talk about. It’s so frustrating because, you’ve never done anything to make him not trust you, and still he sees you as someone who has to earn and work really hard for his trust. You’ve given all you can to this relationship and still, he can’t even make it to a stupid concert he promised he’d come to. You continue to walk home for a few more minutes before stopping to rest at a bus stop. You consider just taking the bus home, but a warm hand slides into yours and pulls you away from the bus doors. You spin around and feel a rush of relief and sadness as Jun Hyung stares at you with his dark chocolate eyes, a crooked smile lingering on his lips.
"Nice of you to make it." You say, pulling your hand away. He nods agreeing, like he knows he deserves what’s coming to him.
"I'm sorry." He murmurs.
"I know. I gotta go." You say, turning back to the bus. He takes your hand once again and leads you to his car parked on the curb. "What are you doing? I'm gonna miss the bus."
“Your not taking the bus.” He says, opening the door for you. He waits patiently as you try and make one last attempt to show him how pissed you are. Why does he think he can just blow you off like that and then everything’s ok? He takes advantage of your half open mouth as you rant about how mad you are and kisses your lips. Your breath is taken away literally by those perfectly full, soft lips. This must be why he gets away with everything. If this happens next weekend, you suddenly know you won’t care. This is Jun Hyung, and this is what he can do to you. Turn every selfish, inconsiderate mind game into a beautiful kiss in the rain.