Okay so some fans do think that they will, one day, end up marrying their beloved oppa and have a happy life with cute little marshmallow off springs. Others, on the other hand, are aware that all of these are just…simple for entertainment. As painful as this may sound, you have to accept the fact that, let’s say, Donghae hyung can’t marry all thousands of you. And that all of these are just your form of escape. Escape from what? I don’t know. May be a lonely life? An unhappy family? Stupid bullies? A broken heart?

I’m happy though! Really, I am! That I, and speaking on behalf of the rest of kpop idols, are helping you get through it, because believe me I understand. I really do. It’s not easy to go through all of those and thank God for guiding your way and letting you find our music and we get to entertain you and helping you to just….forget the real world. The harsh, and cruel, and mean world.

I remember during my Trap (my first solo album) promotion, I’ve been performing for almost 24/7. Literally. I remember almost falling asleep while doing my radio guesting with Ryeowook hyung. Hihi. I was motivated to work really hard though! It’s because of this girl (no offense, you all motivate me but gosh this one’s different) who’s always watching my live performances, my interviews, my fan meets, EVERYWHERE! It’s like, that kind of made us have this strange, unexplainable connection that’s just really amazing. Almost magical.

Every time I do a live performance of Trap and especially 143, I look for her in the crowd (it’s not usually difficult since she’s almost always infront), and just perform with all my heart for her. It’s like she’s my energy pill. No matter how exhausted I am, she’s just that last drop of energy drink that keeps me going. Sounds weird, but I swear it’s true!

Till one day, she just stopped showing up. School works are probably eating up all her time, which is not actually a bad thing! But I miss her.

And more and more concerts passed, and nope, no signs of this mystery girl.

Then a few more passed. Nope. Still not present.

Then a few more….

Then more…

I don’t know what happened though.

Was she sick of my music?

Oh God I hope not.

Ugh I want some warm ramen. Henry Lau, you are going crazy.

Okay look a small noodle house. Perfect.

……..

As I was digging on my perfect tasting noodles, a couple came in the noodle house.

I felt empty inside. They look so happy together. So affectionate and beautiful scene to look at, but quite disappointing. I envy them.

The girl took her hoodie of as she sat on the stool.

It’s her.

The mystery girl.

With her boyfriend I assume.

So that’s why she’s been gone. She’s been dating someone.

Well isn’t that depressing? As I was writing this, I realized something. Idols are just idols. We’re just here as your…how do I say this...your....paradise prince. Kind of like a person who’ll just hold your hand tightly and take you away and just escape everything for a while. For a while. For a while. Not forever. Sometimes, we just have to accept the fact that, someday, all of you are going to find the perfect one for you and completely forget about us. Someone will come into your life and just fill that empty spot in your heart, the sport that we were temporarily locked up in. Someday, you’re just gonna stop watching our variety shows, and will be out on dinner dates with your special guy. Someday, your phone will not be any more filled with our twitter selcas, or our recent photoshoot, but your cute selfie with your boyfriend.

Someday all of these will just be a funny memory that’s part of your “crazy-teen-life” box. Someday, you’ll look back and think “what was I thinking? Marrying oppa? Hahahaha! I must be crazy!”

It hurts. But that’s reality.

So until you haven’t found your  genuine happiness, oppa will be here to run away with you in our personal paradise.