Title: My love, My kiss, My heart.

Genre: One shot, Character deaths

Pairings: EunHae

 A/N: Play the song for more.. feel..

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// A day feels like a year. My heart continues to sink because it only looks for your trace for days. //

Donghae lay on the sofa staring blankly to the air.

It had been his daily routine for the past month.

To wake up and lay on the sofa till the day ends again.

All the other members could not do anything to snap him out of this.

 

A single lone tear trickled down his puffy eyes.

That was the last drop of tears he could produce.

He had cried himself dry.

 

He finally got up and walked to the kitchen which surprises everyone.

He walked quietly to the fridge as the 8 pairs of eyes followed him.

 

He opened the door and saw the bottles of strawberry milk still there.

He vaguely remembered screaming at everyone when they tried to clear them.

 

Taking the bottles and some bread he quietly went back to his room.

Before closing the door, he heard Shindong asking ‘Is he alright now?’

 

//When I forcefully swallow a bite of food, it feels like a grain of sand. The day without you has stopped. Just like this now.//

 

For the first time in the month, He took a good look around the room.

Everything is in a mess.

The only place that is neat was the bed next to his.

He kept it neat personally.

He did not let anyone into the room at all.

 

He sat on the neat bed and took a bite bread.

Memories hit him like pellets of bullets.

 

“Yah! Stop eating on my bed!”

“Why? I love to eat on your bed~”

“Eeash!”

“Cause it helps me to digest well!”

“Yah! What excuse is that! Hahah!”

“I love you!”

“And this too... hahah!”

“Nooo! I mean I love you..”

“….”

“Hyukkie?”

“Erm..”

“I love you.”

“…..”

“I love you, Lee Hyukjae.”

“….”

“Sorry.. I..I think..”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“I love you too.”

“….huh?!”

“Yah! Pabo! I love you too, Lee Donghae!!”

“Jinjja?!”

“…Pabo..”

“Yayyy!!”

“hahhah!”

 

 

 

// My love, my kiss, my heart.

I’ll bury them all. A place deep in my heart.

One love, one kiss, to my heart.

I’ll try to forget everything. I’ll erase everything.//

 

Donghae gave a silent sob as he remembered the times he spent with Eunhyuk.

His Eunhyuk, Lee Hyukjae.

 

Many a times he tried to shut those memories deep in his heart.

But..

Every little thing he did, he saw, he heard, he smelt, everything that happens, reminds him of him.

It tears his heart open further.

 

He tried forgetting everything in the first week.

Working his guts out, dancing till his limbs felt sore.

Wearing himself out every single day.

 

But every night he went back to his room.. their room..

Those memories would come back to him.

Piercing through his heart like a thousand knifes.

Even how tired he was, those memories would still haunt him in his dreams.

 

// The sound of my heart ringing. It feels like a lie. This pain too. Like the writing that has been washed away and smudged, you and I have been blurred and erased.//

 

“You told me you will love me forever.. you told me that you will never leave me… Why.. Why did you lie..” he sobbed tearlessly, hugging Eunhyuk’s pillows and the bottles of milk tightly.

 

 

// The world is the same but when I look around, it is only you who is not by my side.

I lost you. I lost everything. //

 

It had been a month since Eunhyuk had left him.. left them all..

But Donghae just can’t get over it.

 

He blames himself for causing that accident.

 

“Its all my fault.. I should not have fought with you.. If I had not gotten angry with you over such little things.. you would not have to go to that place just to get something to please me .. and you would not have met with that accident…” He sobbed.

 

//I can’t even turn back time.//

 

 

“Hyukjae..”

“Please come back… don’t leave me…”

 

// My love, my kiss, (my kiss) my heart.

I’ll bury them all. (I’ll bury them) A place deep in my heart.//

 

All those kisses shared between them, all those sweet moments.. flashed across his mind.

 

// One love, one kiss, to my heart. I’ll try to forget everything. I’ll erase everything.

It feels as if only the memories that are like broken pieces are stuck in it.

 

Deep in my heart. Deep in my heart. In a place deep in my heart.

The image of your face covered in tears haunts me. It hovers. It hovers. You who took my everything.//

 

But..

 

[Flashback]

 

“MWOH?! A..ani.. H..HyukJae.. HYUKJAE!!!” Shouted Donghae as he heard the news.

He ran out of the dorm, ignoring the rest and just kept running.

 

He could not stop.

He needs to be in the hospital right now.

He can’t wait for Leeteuk to drive them there.

 

Tears splashed down his face as he ran.

His HyukJae is there. His HyukJae is in critical conditions.

No. It must be lies. A cruel prank by his manager.

 

But he needs to be there.

To confirm that it was just a joke.

 

HyukJae promised that he will never leave him.

So there is no way that is happening.

 

No way.

 

He arrived panting at the hospital to see his manager looking worn and sad.

 

“H..Hyung.. Where is HyukJae.. is he hiding? Is this a joke? Please ask him to come out now.. Please.. Its not funny.. hyung..” pleaded Donghae as his manager teared up.

 

“Donghae-ah..” his manager said, holding his shoulder.

 

Donghae shook off his hand and repeated urgently “ Hyung! Where is HyukJae?! Please!”

 

His manager bit his lip and gestured towards the room door silently, trying to hold in his tears.

 

Donghae burst into the room anxiously to see his HyukJae lying on the bed with doctors hovering him.

“Sir! Please go out and wait! You are not supposed to come in!” said a nurse, trying to stop him from going in.

 

“H..HyukJae..” gasped Donghae in shock.

 

“Please, sir, you have to go out! The doctors are busy here!” she said again.

 

“Hyukjae.. HYUKJAE!! YAH!! WHY ARE YOU LYING THERE?! STOP PRETENDING ALREADY!! “ yelled Donghae, trying to get to him.

 

More nurses came forward and tried to restrain him.

 

“Hae! Please stop it! Eunhyuk would not want you to act like this!!” said Leeteuk, who had just arrived.

 

“Hyung! Please ask him to wake up! Its not funny!!” cried Donghae still trying to get in.

 

“Hae! Listen to me.. LISTEN TO ME!!” screamed Heechul, pulling Donghae to face him.

 

Donghae looked in to Heechul’s eyes fearfully.

Afraid of what he would say.

 

“Hae.. listen.. Calm down.. lets wait for the doctor to see what he got to say.. arraso?” choked Heechul, whose eyes suddenly filled with tears.

 

“H..Hyung.. why are you crying… d..dont cry..” said Donghae in alarm.

 

No.

Nothing is gonna happen to his HyukJae..

Nothing.

 

They waited outside the room anxiously as the doctors tried to save Eunhyuk.

 

After what seems like ages, the doctors finally came out.

Donghae was first to rush next to him.

He could not talk.

He stared anxiously at the doctor while Leeteuk asked “How is he?”.

 

The doctor’s expression was grave.

“I am sorry.. we had tried our best.. The ribcage had punctured his lungs during the accident and due to some other complications, we could not continue the surgery on him. Please spend the remaining time with him. We are deeply sorry.”

 

The members broke in to tears and sobbed loudly.

 

Donghae staggered backwards.

No. It can’t be.

He promised.

He can’t break them.

No.

 

 

Lee HyukJae.. you cant..

You cant leave me.

 

He walked into the room numbly and sat next to him.

“Hyukkie.. Hyukkie.. wake up.. it’s not funny.. please..” he said, holding his hand.

It felt cold.

 

“Why are your hands so cold.. The hospital blankets must be too thin.. please wake up.. Your bed is waiting for you at home.. the blankets.. will keep you warm..” whispered Donghae, tears sliding down his face.

 

He his pale face and said “ Please wake up.. I..I promise you, I won’t get angry over little things again.. I promise you that I won’t eat on your bed again.. I will promise anything.. j..just please wake up..”

 

Someone placed his hand onto his shoulder, but he did not care.

 

“You promised.. You promised that you will never leave me.. So you cant.. Get it? You cant just leave me like this.. you promised..” sobbed Donghae.

 

****

 

Donghae sat next to Eunhyuk’s bedside never letting go of his hand.

 

The members had already left.

But he stayed behind.

He will wait till he wakes up.

 

 Suddenly, he felt the hand in his twitched weakly.

He quickly looked up to see Eunhyuk opening his eyes.

 

“Hyukkie? I..I Shall call the doctor!” He said.

“H..Hae..” rasped Eunhyuk weakly.

Donghae stopped in his tracks and went back to his side.

 

“Yes.. Hyukkie? I am here..” he said, grabbing the hand.. horribly cold.

 

“H..ae.. I am sorry..” he said weakly, tears rolling down his eyes.

 

“Please don’t.. “ cried Donghae.

“I am calling the doctor, wait.. wait for me..” he said, wiping his tears off.

 

“H..ae.. please.. stay here.. for a while more..” pleaded Eunhyuk weakly.

 

Donghae bit his lip to prevent a sob from escaping. He went back and sat next to him.

 

“H..ae.. I am.. s..orry.. I .. should.. not have..” he whispered.

 

“Hyukkie.. I know.. Its my fault.. please don’t talk.. your lungs.. I think I should call the doctor..” choked Donghae.

“N…o.. Don’t leave.. me.. I..I know.. I am.. dying.. please… let me.. stay next to you.. for a while more..”

 

“No.. Please don’t say it.. you will be alright..” sobbed Donghae, losing control.

 

“H..ae.. I..I love you..” said Eunhyuk, as tears trailed down his eyes.

 

Donghae shook his head and said “ I love you too, HyukJae.. Please.. let me get the doctor..”

 

Eunhyuk smiled and said “..I..its.. too.. late.. H..ae.. I..am.. s…sorry..”

With that, he shut his eyes eternally.

 

Donghae shook his head and whispered “ I love you.. yongwonhi...”

And the next thing he know is a blackout.

 

[/Flashback]

 

 

 

// Last love, last kiss, last dream. My heart that knows you only remembers you.

Only remembers you.//

 

Donghae looked at the photo of them at the bedside and touched Eunhyuk’s face.

 

“Hyukkie.. “

 

// Goodbye my love my kiss

It feels like it will have stopped. I’ll try to forget.

Like this without you. Just like this now //.

 

He took the bottle of sleeping pills that he found in the cupboard recently and opened the cap.

He took the pills one by one and place them into his mouth.

He drank the milk.

Strawberry milk.

 

 

// My love, my kiss, (Kiss in my heart) my heart.

I’ll bury them all. I’ll bury them all. //

 

He lay on the bed thinking of all the happy moments.

He could even feel his HyukJae arms around him, nuzzling into his hair now..

 

He smiled and closes his eyes.

 

“I will be with you soon.. Hyukkie.. Please wait a while more..”

 

// A place deep in my heart. You are my love.

One Love, (one love) one kiss, (one kiss) to my heart.

I’ll try to forget everything. I’ll try to forget everything. //

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Author’s note: WAHHHHHHHHH!!! ㅠ_ㅠI am crying my eyes out now.. :’(

:’( It took me so much courage to write this fic!!! T.T

I hate character deaths!!! But I wrote it… *sobs*

At first I was planning for only 1 character death.. but I thought..

The other half not have lived if the other one is gone.. Its too painful.. So.. yeah.. *Sniffs*

This is a song fic.. I know its kinda fail.. Well.. its not my first time writing a fic that is inspired by a song.. But yeah.. :’(

The other one was sad too.. but no character deaths in that one..

I hope you.. somehow like this fic?

Please give me comments.. its my first time writing character deaths.. so yeah.. :’(

DAMN IT! THOSE TEARS WONT STOP!!!!! T^T!!

 

Yeah..