Wiping Invisible Tears
Park Jungsu, You're Never Alone
(Disclaimer: The title and the grey-coloured, italicized words are lyrics from the song of Lady Antebellum, Never Alone.)
Park Jungsu, You're Never Alone
~**~
May the angels protect you. Trouble neglect you. And heaven accept you when it's time to go home. May you always have plenty; the glass never empty. And know in your belly, you're never alone.
The chattering of kids and adults alike has quiet down. The cheerful sound of the morning was replaced by the peaceful sound of the night. The bright rays from the sun that never cease to amaze me, was now the light illuminated by the street lights on each side of the road. The surroundings might feel eerie and the deafening silence might sound creepy, but this is where I am most comfortable when I want to be alone.
But either way, being with my noisy younger brothers is the best place I could ever be at. That happy place with Super Junior.
Another day has passed by again.
May your tears come from laughing. You find friends worth having. With every year passing, they mean more than gold. May you win and stay humble. Smile more than grumble. And know when you stumble, you're never alone.
I'm supposed to be at the dorms by now. Scolding my so-called children and letting them bully me as I get tired. But there are times that I just want to do the opposite - to be reflecting on every thing that has happened and to just let the cold breeze of the park engulf me in its calm nature. Those kids won't mind, would they?
I mean they always bully me. They always make fun of me. Yet, at times, I do so too at them. You know, just to get revenge. Haha. Sometimes I think that I'm being a bad leader; a bad elder brother. I don't know. I just want to hug them at times and cry my heart out. Yes, I do those most of the times especially when we win awards and stuffs. I also showed my weak side on Heechul's last guesting on Inkigayo. But that doesn't seem enough. It didn't take out all of my thoughts.
Never alone; never alone. I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you, stay with you, baby, you're never alone.
I miss every member that is missing: Hangeng, Youngwoon, Kibum, and now, even Heechul. I always believe that they'll come back. I'll never lose hope on that. But at times, on some days, hours, or seconds, my thoughts wander to the negative side. Would they even come back? Would we be complete again? I couldn't help but cry.
Sometimes I think that I'm alone. I've said that to the members a lot of times already. They always reply that it isn't true; that I'm never alone. They're always beside me in every joy and misery. In every ups and downs. And I believe in them. I'll always do. They're my family. They're what God has given me. (I thank Him so much for this special gift.) I will always cherish them. That's why I love and take care of them so much like my own children.
Well, I have to be honest. As much as I wanted, I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow. So when hard times have found you and your fears surround you, wrap my love around you. You're never alone.
Problems come and one member leaves. I don't know what to do then but accept their decisions and just move on. It hurts so much. Like hell. But I couldn't change their decisions if they've already put their minds on it, right? I'm just glad to be able to help them at least. I'm happy about the times they've spent with me. Those wonderful memories which I'll treasure in my heart now and forever.
I want to break down and cry so hard but I won't. As long as Super Junior still has members, I won't. I need to maintain my firm composure as the leader and just be there to support them at all times. Whatever happens, I must always be there for them even though it results to my own suffering. Seeing them smile genuinely from the bottom of their hearts is already a blessing to me. Another treasure to cherish forever.
Never alone; never alone. I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you, stay with you, baby, you're never alone.
How I wish that I could turn back time. I want us to be complete again. To be thirteen as a whole group and fifteen as a whole family. I want our lives to be perfect. A life full of happiness and sunshine. If our life didn't encounter problems, everything would just be perfect.
But life being perfect isn't always the best. Without encountering mistakes, we wouldn't be able to learn and last nor be this strong. Without practicing, we wouldn't have bonding moments. Without accepting failures, we wouldn't know how important we are for each other. Without anyone going far away, without anyone leaving, we wouldn't know what "love" truly means.
Life isn't perfect. It's already best the way it is. And Super Junior is the best for being perfectly imperfect. And being the leader of that group that will lead each of the members into imperfection in a good way, being one of its imperfect members, I'm very happy and proud.
I just thank the Lord for giving me this kind of life that may not be the best in other people's sight but the most honourable honor I've ever received. The honor of having the members by my side, and the fans alike, I just feel very thankful. I love them all without any doubts - the members and our fans. I love Super Junior and we'll forever be with ELF.
May the angels protect you. Trouble neglect you. And heaven accept you when it's time to go home. So when hard times have found you and your fears surround you, wrap my love around you. You're never alone.
Unconsciously, I started to cry. Not tears of sadness but of happiness. Everything was placed on its rightful place and we learned from those. As I grow old, have a family of my own, I shall never, ever, forget everything in my wonderful life and all the teachings it had taught me. How I managed to stand up when I fell down. How the members helped me in every single way that they can and how I would return the favor. How God planned everything for a good reason. How I ended up being the mother of Super Junior. I'll share these experiences to all people that I will encounter: The learning and morals - the things that taught me the real meaning of life and the words that mean most to me. I'll share them all.
I'm not a selfish person, so all these I'll do.
Never alone; never alone. I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you, stay with you, baby, you're never alone.
I wiped off my tears and stood up, brushing off the invisible dusts on my legs. Remembering the thoughts I reflected on awhile ago, I sighed deeply. I returned back to the dorms with my common composure - the motherly act - and smiled. As I was about to reach open the door knob of the 11th floor apartment where everyone is at now since it's a Sunday, a free day for all of us, I saw the remaining eleven members in-front of the door smiling cheekily.
My love will follow you, stay with you, baby.....
"Hyung, you're never alone." And I just couldn't help but smile warmly at that statement. Thank you for such a wonderful family to return to.
**credits to the rightful owner of the picture
Comments