Kris doesn’t even know how, why, where and when he ended up here; standing at the edge of this bridge, hands clutching tightly around of it railing, head hung low between his shoulders. He doesn’t even want to know, actually.

His vision blur of tears because of the autumn wind that keep brushing against his face. Or maybe it was just him, crying. He doesn’t know.

His body is chill and tired as he kept on standing like that for hours since early in morning. But he doesn’t care because all he can feel right now is nothing. Or it may be because he really doesn’t want to feel anything now. He doesn’t know.

His mind playing with him, moving everything around his head till it almost hurt. He doesn’t want it he wants it to stop but it seems like it won’t.

“” he groans. Even his mind doesn’t listen to him anymore. He punch the railing hard till crimson red flow from his hand, hoping it would ease the pain in his head but no, it doesn’t stop. His head hurt so much till he can’t feel the pain in his right hand.

He closed his eyes and opens it again only to notice the sun already risen up in the sky, he looked at his watch in his left wrist and it’s already 8a.m. the blood in his hand had been dried without him knowing. He looked the river under the bridge, the water under of the river was clear and reflects the sunlight perfectly causing his eyes to blind a little, he blinks his eyes a few time to adjust his vision. And when he get used to it he looked around his surrounding and sighed. This place was unfamiliar to him; he doesn’t know where he is. But it was okay, maybe, he thinks. At least no one can find him here.

His car was just a few meter away from him when turned his gaze to his right, he doesn’t remember he park his car there, actually. He notice no one was around, this place was quite, too quite. Maybe, he drove his car out the town to some small town or something. He tells himself.

He moved his gaze again to the river, the stream wasn’t too fast and the sound its makes when the water hit the stone in it was quite calming. He breathed, feels the fresh air filling his lungs, its good. The breeze gently blows his hair and the trees around the river.

He smiled, but suddenly as he think the pain in his head gone, it back. It hurt, so hurt than before. He clutched his hair frustratingly. It’s pounding so hard till he can hear it from his ears. All memories running fast around his head so fast makes him feel dizzy. He places both of his hand in the railing to balance himself.

Crystal water running on his already stained cheek slowly but he doesn’t notice it, too busy when all the memories make his heart ache. He takes a deep breath to control himself but damn, it won’t.

All the feeling came back; hurt, betrayal and guilt eat him out. He can’t take it, yes can’t. It’s too much, he can’t take it anymore. His head and heart hurt, hurt as hell. It’s killing him. He screams till his lungs burn, but the pain of it wasn’t as much as his head and heart.

He fell on his knee, panting hard still clutching his head. He cried and cried he needs something to distract himself.

Slowly he reached his hand to his heart, clutching the fabric till it crumple. Lean his head onto the hard mental of the railing. His tears fall on the ground and something hit him.

He slowly stood up on his foot, hand grab the railing tightly. His gaze was away, his mind only he known. He stood still didn’t move an inch, just stood there unmoved.

He closed his eyes and breathed. He needs to do this, only on this way the pain will go away. He had to. He opened his eyes “Sorry father for disappointing you” he whisper

Slowly but surely he climbs onto the railing, gripping it tightly. He looked on the sky above; this is for the better, he thought to himself before loosen his grip on the railing; letting his body fall on the river. Feeling the cold water hit his skin roughly and he closed his eyes once again, letting his body drown down deeper in to the water, didn’t make any attempt to help himself to get the surface when he feels his lungs burning because of lack of oxygen. He choked a few times under the water that makes the cold water fill on his lungs, he immediately shoot his eyes open and trying so desperately to reach and hold something. But everything around him is just water and water, he can’t hold onto it. After a few moments of struggle in the water his body became as cold as its water and slowly he can’t feel his body anymore, he feels numb. And with his last chokes and breath everything becomes dark. But before the dark takes him away fully he saw a white glowing light in the surface, moving to his direction, he smiles a little and he thinks he’s gone now.

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short update ;')