Jongup woke up early the next morning, slightly surprised to find his crush not there. "4:30 am..." he muttered to himself, "Where the did he go...?" Jongup got up slowly trying to look for Himchan. He didn't need to look too far for his answer because in Jun Hong's room next to his, he heard wimpers and "A-ahhh Himchan...harder.." and " Jun Hong. . .You're so tight..."

Jongup was mad now. Not sad, not depressd, just plain angry. Angry at Himchan, angry at Jun Hong, and most angry at himself. He wanted to scream and break everything, but he didn't. Instead he did what he wasn't supposed to. He snuck out to the kitchen and found a knife. He was thinking about making his cuts vertical, instead of across his wrist but that might affect the poor members too much. So he went to his room and he began to cut his wrist, droplets of blood forming on the surface and the faintly metallic smell surrounded him. It made him dizzy, and he just wanted to stop, but he couldn't. He physically could not. He rested the knife down after feeling satisfied and took a shower, letting the hot water run down his wrists, leaving a stinging sensation. He wondered how long Himchan had loved Jun Hong. He stepped out of the shower and looked at the clock. Since it was too early for any of the other members to be awake, Jongup didn't know what to do. The screams of pleasure from Jun Hong's room hadn't died down at all. "I honestly wonder how long they can go at it..." Jongup thought sadly. He thought he would be alone forever and that no one would ever love him. But then he remembered Daehyun, and how nice he was to Jongup. Soon the screams died down and Jongup knew they would be out of bed. He sighed and sat down on his bed. The door opened and Himchan stood in the doorway, shocked that Jongup was awake and ready.

"H-hi Jongup." Himchan said quietly and got no response from Jongup. He put his hand on the younger's shoulder but then removed it when Jongup gave him a death glare. Himchan left quietly so that Jongup could be alone. He supposed that Jongup had heard everything. It hurt him so much to know that Jongup was probably mad about that. But he shook it off since he couldn't really be sure. Jongup was going through a hard time so anything that he said couldn't be blamed on him. Jongup sat in his room as the other members awoke over a few hours. Eventually, there was another knock on Jongup's door.

"Come in." he said coldly, but that cold tone and expression immediately lifting from him when he saw who was at the door. "Hi Daehyun~!" He said happily.

"Hi Guppie~! Are you gonna come out for breakfast?"

"Ah..y-yeah. I'll be out soon, okay?"

"Okay then~!" Daehyun walked out happily and Jongup sighed. He had not only deciede to start cutting he decided to stop eating. But he went out anyways and decided that he could pretend that he was fine. He sat with the members as they ate and he nibbled a little on his food. But then Himchan and Zelo went to the kitchen and Jongup saw them kiss. He lost his appetite and said, "Thanks for the breakfast guys. It was really good." He walked into the kitchen where the two were still kissing and he put his plate in the sink. The two turned around in surprise when they heard the glass on the metal.

"Oh my god! Jongup!" Himchan yelled.

"W-we're so sorry Jonup.." Jun Hong said quietly.

"Haha. . .don't worry about it..." Jongup smiled sadly and left back to his room. And now the tears started to flow. And they just wouldn't stop. Jongup wiped his tears and grabbed some stuff. He left to the practice room where he began to dance. He forgot about everything and just danced to his heart's content. He wasn't aware that the memers came in later either. When he stopped and turned around however, he noticed a sad look on Jun Hong's and Himchan's faces.  He walked to the other side of the room so he could avoid the puppy eyes he was getting from the maknae. Jongup pulled on headphones and as they began to practice, realizing that Jongup wouldn't be joining them, he started to cry again, silently and painfully.

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Alright~ ^^; Chapter 4 is up guys~ hope you all enjoy it~ I'll try to get to chapter 5 soon now that break is here~ Happy hollidays everyone~

<3 Nina~