Bright lights blinded my eyes and I felt nauseous to the point of death. My head felt hot and my body felt cold. I must have had a fever. I moved my arms up and they brushed against something warm. I placed my hand on it and tried to absorb some heat.

I turned my head to look at the warm object. Kai sat next to me, his head resting on the bed and it was his hand that I had placed mine on. His black hair was a little messy and fell across his face. I brushed it away tucking it behind his ear. I looked at his tanned face. His jaw was extremely prominent and his cheek bones looked as if they could cut glass.

My face began to heat up more.

I wanted to believe it was the fever but a small part of me knew it was more than that.

I looked around the room. I was in some form of clinic. The room was small but was big enough to hold a large bed which I was lying on, a sofa along with various chairs, a bedside table and one larger table. There was a large window to my left which looked out over Seoul. My hand still rested on Kai’s and my thumb began to move in circular motions along his soft skin. Suddenly Kris and Suho entered the room, followed by the rest of the group and I quickly placed my hand next to Kai’s.

“You’re alive!!” Tao screamed throwing himself on the bed, waking up Kai. Kai groaned as he sat up and he smiled when his eyes met mine causing my cheeks to ignite again.

Suho walked around to the opposite side of the bed from Tao and Kai. “How are you feeling?” He asked, concern evident in his voice.

I smiled up at him, “I’m fine thanks.” I looked around the room which was now filled with 11 bodies plus my own. It was a little cramped. “Sorry for making you all worry.”

 “We’re just glad that you’re okay,” Luhan said, standing at the bottom of my bed.

***

After a few hours I was discharged from the clinic and I was back home lying on the sofa upstairs in the attack. Sehun and Chanyeol were playing some game on the Xbox, while Luhan sat beside me and laughed every time Sehun lost. I was still feeling pretty sick from the fever but thankfully it had gone down dramatically. I could feel myself drift off several times and wake up suddenly and so eventually I lost track of time.

Luhan was no longer sitting beside me and Sehun was now playing against Kai instead of Chanyeol. Sehun and Kai both sat on cushions on the floor in front of a large television. I looked out of the skylight and saw that it was evening. I wonder if they had dinner yet. Before I could muster any words I had fallen asleep again.

The room was dark and the only light provided came from the moon which shone through the skylight. I was lying on the sofa in the attack of our apartment. However I was not alone. I could feel a presence above me and suddenly a shape of a person blocked out the moonlight.

“Kyungsoo…” They whispered into my ear.

The voice sounded like Kai’s and suddenly there was a warm set of lips planted on my forehead. My lips parted at the shock of the kiss and I could feel a hand grasp the hair at the back of my neck and move its way down the nape of my neck. A leg sandwiched its way between my own and there was a slight pressure against my body. My eyes closed and my neck tilted backwards and a set of lips were pressed up and down my neck. I let out a slight moan.

“Kyungsoo…” They said again, into my ear and this time I was certain that the voice was Kai’s. However this time the voice was more urgent and louder.

My eyes fluttered open quickly and I was greeted by a dim lit room and a person hovering over me. Kai. His hand was placed on my forehead and his other was on my shoulder.

“Kyungsoo!!” Kai said, clearly.

I looked up at him and his expression was filled with concern and worry. I felt hot again and I could feel sweat drip down the back of my neck. I looked up at the skylight; it was night now.

“Are you feeling better?” Kai asked, and he removed his hands from my shoulder and forehead.

I sat up a little and asked, “Yeah, is everything okay?” I rubbed the back of my neck and noticed that there was a blanket on top of me along with a few pillows underneath were my head was lying.

Kai sat down on a stool in front of me, “Yeah everything’s fine. I was just worried when I went to bed and you weren’t there.”

I blushed a little at his words. “I must have just fallen asleep.”

Kai hummed and then said, “Wait have you eaten?”

As if it was timed my stomach rumbled so loudly I think it may have woken up the entire apartment. Kai burst into a fit of laughter and fell off his stool which caused me to erupt into a fit of giggles as well.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Kai said, standing up and extending his hand to me. “Let’s go.”

***

Kai and I sat downstairs in the kitchen. I ate some left over food that the guys had put aside for me in case I was hungry when I woke up. I stuffed my face quickly with the food as I was hungrier than I thought I was. I was nearly finished when I heard Kai let out a slight laugh. I looked up at him across the island where we sat. His chin was resting on his hand and he was smiling at me. He looked so perfect.

“What..?” I asked, swallowing the food in my mouth.

Unexpectedly Kai reached over across the island, his long fingers touching my cheek and moving down towards my lips. It seemed his fingers lingered on my lips but before I could even think about what to do, Kai had retreated his hand and his fingers.

“You had a little something.” He said, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

I placed my fingers to my lips and then to my cheeks as they were beginning to burn, “Oh, thanks.”

I quickly began to finish my food and when I was finished I looked up at Kai who had fallen asleep on the island, his arms acting as a pillow for his head. I quietly washed my dishes and then turned back around to look at Kai who was still asleep. Without waking him up I lifted him up onto my back and walked towards our room. I opened the door and closed it with my foot, I lowered Kai down onto his bed but something pulled me down so I was lying on top of him. My back was against Kai’s chest and his arms had wrapped around me. His lips were next to my ear and his breath was deep and slow. I tried to remove myself from Kai’s grasp but his hold was strong.

“Kyung…” Kai said, under his breath so quietly I was sure that I had heard wrong.

It was nearly an hour since I was dragged down into Kai’s embraced and I could feel a wave of sleep coming over me and before I knew it I had fallen asleep in Kai’s arms.

I woke up to an arm resting along my chest. It was Kai's. Memories of last night flooded back to me and I was worried that he would get the wrong idea. I tried to move from under Kai's arm but instead ended up with my t-shirt riding up so my toned stomach was on display. My legs were intertwined with Kai's and I could feel my member pressing against his inner thigh. 

Ugh. This is why I hated the morning.

I tried to think of something other than Kai's increasing pressure against my member. But the more he moved in his sleep the harder I became.

I needed to get out of his hold. ASAP. 

With all the force I could muster I pushed Kai's arm down off my body. However it stopped midway down my torso and so was lying across my bare abdomen. Kai groaned a little in his sleep and it seemed he was beginning to wake up. I didn’t know what to do. What would he think?

I tried one last time to pull myself out of Kai’s hold and thankfully I did. However, I pushed too hard and ended up falling on the floor causing a large bang and my t shirt somehow tangling over my head. I prayed that Kai did not wake up but of course with my luck he did.

“D.O?” He asked, sleep evident in his voice.

I couldn’t see anything as my t shirt blocked all vision and it was difficult to try and fix the problem as my arms were in an awkward position that I couldn’t reach up to my head to fix it. I heard the bed creak and then footsteps on the floor. God. This was so embarrassing.

I felt a pair of hands help me with my t shirt and they skimmed my skin when Kai pulled my t shirt down over my stomach. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look him in the eye. My cheeks were burning and I probably had sweat over my face due to the heat of the t shirt and the effort I made to try and get out of Kai’s grasp.

Several minutes had passed and no words were passed between Kai and I. My cheeks were still a blaze and I wanted to crawl into a hole. Kai was siting directly in front of me on his knees while I lay in a pile on my bum and this made Kai look even taller than he was. Without warning, Kai lifted my chin with his fingers causing me to look him in the eye. His brown eyes held so much compassion and I was caught off guard by what Kai did next. Kai leaned forward and planted a small kiss on my plump lips. His lips were smooth and wet and his fingers held my face in place. Automatically I gasped and pushed Kai back with so much force that he hit his head against the bed causing a loud bang. I pressed the back of my hand to my lips, shocked at what had happened. Kai’s eyes looked hurt and he rubbed the back of his head from where he had hit. My cheeks flared even more and before I knew it I was standing and nearly running towards the bathroom, closing the bathroom door shut behind me.

So many emotions overpowered me at once and I began to cry soft tears as I slid down the bathroom door. A mixture of shock and regret ran through me. Why did I push him away? What am I going to do? Various questions ran through my mind as the thought of Kai’s lips on mine flooded every inch of my body. I decided to take a shower to try and take my mind off Kai and what had happened.

***

2 WEEKS LATER

It was 4 hours until our first miniature performance and we were all waiting in anticipation. Chen, Baekhyun and I were waiting in one dressing room, practicing harmonies and melodies. Chanyeol and Tao were also with us and they were having a small rap battle between themselves. The rest of the members where split up into two separate dressing rooms; Suho and Kris were in one dressing room, and Xuimin, Lay, Sehun, Luhan and Kai were in another. I had not spoken to Kai for 2 weeks since the kiss. He hadn’t even slept in our room and instead ‘fell asleep’ on one of the sofa’s in the attic. I knew I shouldn’t have pushed him away and I knew that I had to say something first. I just become lost for words when I see him as all I can think about is that kiss and my conflicted feelings for Kai. I never have liked anyone before and so I don’t know how relationships work exactly.

“Hey guys,” Our manager popped her head round the door, “we are going to do one quick rehearsal before the performance.” We all followed her out of the door, down a narrow corridor and through a door into a large room.

The rest of the members were standing in a circle and some of them turned around to look at us – one of them being Kai. I averted my eyes down to the floor and kept them fixated on my shoes for most of the time that our manager was talking us through the upcoming performance.

“First up Suho and Kris will introduce the members and the first performance will be the dancers; Xuimin, Lay and Luhan; then Kai and Sehun. After them will be Chen, DO and Baekhyun, followed by Chanyeol and Tao. Finishing up with a small speech from both Suho and Kris. Okay?” Our manager explained to us.

We all nodded. I was becoming increasingly nervous about the performance. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down.

“So can Chen, DO and Baekhyun start the rehearsal off?” Our manager asked, waiting patiently for us to begin.

I took a deep breath. I was to start the song off:

“One man loves you,
That man loves you wholeheartedly,
He follows you around like a shadow every day,
That man is laughing and crying…”

Baekhyun took over next, soon after was Chen and then it ended with me. The rest of the members cheered for us when we finished the song. The rest of the members rehearsed their pieces and I found it hard to take my eyes of Kai as he danced. He was really good. I heard he used to do ballet and tap dancing; I guess that’s why he is so skilled at dancing. Kai’s eyes caught mine several times throughout his rehearsal with Sehun and each time I diverted mine from his but they always returned to his as his dance was almost captivating. His dance with Sehun was over too soon and everyone was clapping and cheering.

We all went back to our dressing rooms to refresh ourselves before the performance and all I could think about was Kai. Before I knew it, however, it was time for the performance and the butterflies in my stomach grew more rapid with every step that I made towards the awaiting crowd. All of us were making our way towards the stairs leading to the stage. Everyone was to go onstage and so we all climbed the stairs. Due to the nerves I stumbled backwards, bumping into someone but thankfully I did not fall due to their hold on my arms. I turned around to be greeted by a smiling Chanyeol.

“Nervous are we?” He laughed a little and I smiled back at him.

As I turned around to walk up the remaining stairs, I caught Kai looking down at Chanyeol and I. The look in his eyes before he looked away was a mixture of what seemed like hurt and anger. Was he jealous?

I shook my head as I climbed the remaining stairs. No. He couldn’t be jealous.

A huge crowd greeted me as I climbed onto the stage and I smiled and waved at the audience. The next 2 hours flew by and during my performance I completely forgot about everything that was worrying me and completely focused on giving a perfect performance. When everyone had finished their acts and Suho and Kris had finished their speeches, we all made our way onto the stage one final time and bowed. The audience cheered and I couldn’t help but smile at their happy and pleased faces.  

***

We arrived back at our apartment late that night. Everyone was tired from today’s performance and we all decided on ordering food in. We all crashed onto the sofas in the living room and Suho grabbed the phone from the kitchen.

“So what does everyone want?” He asked, waiting on everyone to decide.

Unfortunately for Suho, everyone answered at once and it came out in one big blur. Once everyone had finished their orders, Suho raised an eyebrow and said, “This time, one at a time. Okay?”

Chanyeol shot his hand up, “I’ll go first. And Suho can you buy this time?”

Suho’s eyebrows raised even further, “Do you think I’m made of money?”

“Yup!” Chanyeol replied instantly.

Suho sighed, “That was a rhetorical question Chan. Fine, fine. I’ll pay this time.”

Everyone cheered and soon after we had all told Suho what we wanted and he ordered the food, the delivery arrived and we were all digging into our dinners. I was sitting between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who were stealing each other’s food.

“Hey Chan that was my last piece of chicken!!” Baekhyun whined across me at Chanyeol.

“Ah come on Baekhyun! You’ve had three of my rolls already.”

“Yeah but at least I asked first.” Baekhyun spat back.

I smiled to myself. This was like a lovers quarrel. I glanced up and my eyes connected immediately with Kai’s. We stared at one another for several seconds before I was drenched in water.

I looked down at my clothes and then between Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Both of them had their mouths open and looked shocked at what had happened. I raised an eyebrow at both of them and sighed. This caused both of them to burst into laughter.

“Sorry Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun laughed and fell on his side, on the floor and was soon joined by Chanyeol who was laughing as much as Baekhyun.

“Clearly.” I said, and glared at both of them.

This caused the rest of the group to burst into a fit of laughter. I shook my head at all of them and then got up, walking towards my bedroom. I entered the room and made my way to the walk in closet. I threw off my t shirt and looked around for a towel and something warm to wear. As usual the item I wanted was out of my reach and I had to stretch to reach it. It was around this time that Kai came out of nowhere and helped me with my bag last time. However he wasn’t here this time.

Instead I found a small stool to stand on and nearly fell off several times due to the fact that one of the legs was slightly broken. I still couldn’t reach the top I wanted but I was adamant in getting it. I reached further and further but was caught off guard by Kai entering the closet and throwing his kitbag beside his things. My footing slipped on the stool and I began to feel myself fall backwards, turning as I fell towards the floor.

Before I hit the floor, Kai was in front of me and I collided into him which broke my fall. I few items of clothing fell down with us and so we were in a mess on the floor. My bare chest was pressed flush with his and his arms were wrapped around me so his hands were placed firmly on my back. My hands were pressed against the floor beneath us, so his head was caged between my arms. I looked down at Kai with a shocked expression and he looked up at me with concern evident in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked, his hands slowly falling away from my back. I didn’t answer. “Kyungsoo?”

Kai began to move beneath me but I pinned him down so he could not move. He seemed surprised and confused at my actions but stopped moving beneath me. My eyes kept flickering from his eyes to his lips more times than I could count and at one point I just stared at his lips. Our faces were quite close to begin with and I could hear and feel Kai’s breath increase a little when my gaze dropped to his lips.

“Kai.” I said finally. I had no idea where I was going with this. He didn’t answer but waited for me to finish. “I don’t know how to say this. I don’t have an experience in relationships and I honestly haven’t a clue what I am even talking about. But what I am trying to say is that I don’t know where this might go and I will probably be terrible at every aspect of it and oh my God; I don’t even know what I am saying anymore…” I trailed off, not understanding a word I was saying. I sighed and my lips, “Oh it.”

I closed the space between Kai and I and leaned down, planting a small kiss on his soft lips. I didn’t know what his reaction would be and I was scared that he would react the way I had 2 weeks ago when he kissed me. But the rejection never came. Instead, Kai’s lips pressed back against mine and his hands made their way up my back and into my hair. I on Kai’s lower lips and bit it slightly causing him to part his lips, which then led to me slipping my tongue inside his mouth. Kai moaned slightly beneath me and I could feel harden beneath me.

Within seconds are positioned were reversed and Kai was on top of me. Our legs were intertwined and my hands clawed into Kai’s back. His tongue entered my mouth and exited just as fast. He on my neck causing me to moan and I titled my head back. Kai’s lips went lower and lower so he was now and on my .  

“Kai. Stop.” I said, breathless.

Kai stopped immediately, “Sorry. I just – ,“ I interrupted him by pressing my lips to his.

“It’s okay.” I said, brushing his hair from his face and pulling him down into a hug. We stayed like that for a while until Kai’s breathing became a lot slower and had fallen asleep. I smiled at him. I pushed Kai up off me which came as a shock to me as the last time I was in Kai’s embrace I found it difficult to remove myself from his arms. I picked Kai up on my back and carried him to his bed. I carefully placed him into bed and pulled the blankets up over him. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. I was about to turn around and get ready for bed but Kai’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist pulling me down next to him. His arms wrapped around me and I tried to free myself from him but I couldn’t. I looked up at Kai and he was smiling down at me.

“I think the last time you tried to get out of this position, you failed miserably.” Kai whispered into my ear.

My eyes widened in shock, “You mean you – you were awake?” It began to make sense as to why I couldn’t remove myself from Kai’s hold the first time. Kai smiled down at me knowingly and then kissed my forehead.

“Night night, Kyungsoo.” He finally said and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.