state of unknown
hey guys, as you might know, i haven't been active in a while. everyone of you has been so, so supportive in my journey. i've had a lot of moments when i didn't feel good enough to continue writing but time and time again, you've all proven me wrong.
i've had a small audience maybe the entire time i've started writing? that's never really bothered me. my therapist once asked me: if my stories were books, and 400 of those people read my book, was that a small amount?
absolutely not. i feel like i'm always due for criticism but my readers are probably the nicest people i've ever had the pleasure of writing for. thank you for being so kind and letting me explore whatever the hell i wanted to explore.
this is me telling you guys that after 7-8 years of fanfic, i'm leaving this website. i hope one day i'm able to find it in me to come back and finish my WIPs. i've started to realize that fanfic hasn't scratched that part in me anymore. i want writing to be something that isn't touched by my anxiety which is the basis of why i began writing in the first place.
i always try to let myself be flexible. i wanted to be a safe space for those of you who struggled with mental health and being represented healthily without romantization. that's why i never pushed for comments. i know what anxiety feels like. but i guess that's the thing about being considerate, writing to an audience of ghosts feels uncertain.
like i'm just archiving my time on here haha. i always ask myself: am i doing the right thing? am i impacting anyone's life? do i continue to write for a dwindling audience?
maybe i'm just being completely self centered right now but i consider you guys my safe place as well so i wanted to be truthful about my struggles in writing and being burnt out from life.
thank you for supporting me! thank you for the paragraphs on each chapter of my stories! i always enjoyed reading them. they made me feel seen which was all i ever wanted. fortunately, im not quitting writing in general. i'm working on a book atm. knowing that, it's not fair to not close this chapter of my life.
bye guys! i wish you happiness in your future endeavors<33
vee
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