When I first began writing on AFF, I strictly wrote YG Family fics, or more specifically, BIGBANG fics. I've deleted most of my older stories but if you went through them, you'd find Mr. T-O-P as my leading man. It goes without saying but he was my ultimate muse when I was a teenager. Now? Not so much. I've been struggling with one of my latest stories and I've been digging deep to figure out why. It's a rewrite of one of my first fics on the site. It was my most popular one and back in 2015, when I re-read it for the first time, I wanted to roll over into a ditch. It was so stinkin' bad. Ever since then, I vowed to rewrite it. I went through several concepts and revised so many first chapters, I'm certain by the time I was done I never wanted to write the word 'college' or 'professor' again. But, something in me won't let go of the story -- no matter how hard I try. However, even now, I find my muse for the story lacking. I treat it as if it's something I just need to get out of the way and I don't like that feeling. After some much needed soul searching, I came to a conclusion: It's him, not me. Now -- by that, I mean, my want to create is no longer fueled by my love for boy bands (or in this case, TOP) it is fueled simply by a need to create. And as a being who is constantly wanting to create, I crave newness.

Mostly, however, I wanted to write the fic as some sort of goodbye to BIGBANG. They're basically disbanded at this point (at least, to me. I'm an OT54 girl) but I just don't think that is the place to do it.

Anyway.

I say all of this to say that maybe it's time I replace Choi Seunghyun as my leading man. While I'll always have love for him -- his fit no longer feels right in the story. I don't know. What do you guys think? (If you don't know what story I'm talking about, it's probably because the story is on private right now while I revise things. It's named Portions for Foxes and it's about a college student falling for her professor -- that's the bare-bones plot of it, anyway). Have you ever replaced a beloved lead character with another? Do you hold onto things due to nostalgia?