Thick, cold, wet, drops kept landing on your jeans, staining them an even darker color than they already were. This wasn’t something to be alarmed about. It was becoming a normal routine for you. Go to school, work, study, clean your apartment, cook and go to bed. Oh, don’t forget the most important thing. Carving out a few moments to cry in your favorite chair that you curl up in, knees to your chest. This wasn’t how your life was supposed to be. You were 21 and this was supposed to be one of the most beautiful moments of your life right? So, why were you sitting in your chair, alone in your apartment yet again tears streaming down your face? It was simple really.

Min Yoongi.

Just one name. One person who you cared for so much, you weren’t even sure that you could live without him. Though living with him wasn’t quite living with him either. You had been drawn to him from the moment you had bumped into him at the coffee shop near your university. He’d been in a rush to get out of the shop, some girls were making a fuss, you were just walking in the door. It was so very cliche, his coffee spilt on your clothes only to apologize profusely while you tried to tell a stranger that it was okay. It wasn’t okay. Or you had been pretty mad and wanted to tell him to watch where he was going, you know maybe pull your hat up some so you could actually see what was in front of you. That was until he looked up at you, his hair was dyed a light brown in contrast with his alabaster skin was just beautiful. He was a work of art and immediately you felt more than subpar.

Though, that awe didn’t last long because he was dashing out the door, tossing you some money and a number on his own receipt in our hands. That day you had been so bewildered. What exactly were you going to do with a couple dollars and a number without a name? You just tossed the number out and stashed the cash in your wallet. As fate would have it, you both met again and that was it. About a year of talking late on the phone and morning coffees later he had asked you to be his girlfriend. There was no doubt in your mind that you wanted nothing more than to be his. Except relationships weren’t all they were cracked up to be.

It was one thing to date a normal boy, but no, you had to go and fall in love with a trainee. It was funny to think about the beginning days of your relationship because both of you had been so vibrant, full of hopes and dreams and a lot of love. These days, it was hard to feel loved. More often than not you felt alone. Like right now, your phone was in your hand, screen lit up with his name Yoongi

Again.

You hated to call him too many times because you knew how busy and exhausted he was but then again you needed him too. You were a woman too. Yes, you were strong but not super woman. Just a woman who loves a man. One that needed to feel special not all the time but here and there. in a shaking breath you hung up the phone before you could hear the beep to leave a message. You didn’t want him to hear you crying. Burdening him was the last thing you wanted. It was truly a hard line to walk. A part of you wanted to scream out at him. “Yoongi, I’m right here! I miss you! Come see me! I need you! I love you!” but then you thought better of it. If he’s not answering he’s too busy. You knew there wasn’t anyone else. Hah, that someone else was music. If you asked him to choose you knew without a doubt it’d be music. He lived and breathed making music. That was also what you loved about him, his passion, drive, raw talent, the dedication to chase after his dream. Which is why you never made him choose. It wasn’t fair. Then again you sitting here crying alone wasn’t fair either.

Hearing a knock at your door, you raised your head up so fast you might have given yourself whiplash. “Yoongi?!” The excitement and nervousness was bubbling up inside of you. Stopping it was impossible and you knew better. It might not be but then it could and that tiny chance was too much for you to ignore. Wiping away the evidence of your tears you hurried over to the door and opened it wide not even bothering to check who was out their first. It could have been a murderer and you would have just invited him in.

“Oh..Hi Jungkook.” The disappointment hit you so hard, it felt like you had just gotten erpunched. This was why you knew better. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see the younger male. In fact you had grown close over the time you had gotten together with Yoongi. He was a good kid who oddly wouldn’t stop looking after you. “Um, what are you doing here?” Those sharp eyes of his were searching your face for any detection of something being wrong. It was a little unnerving and you tried to avoid his eyes. Jungkook always found what you were hiding, really you wondered why you even bothered trying to hide it.

“He made you cry again, didn’t he?” Jungkook let himself in and his hands was cupping your face, wiping away the tear marks that you hadn’t wiped away as thoroughly as you had thought. Trying to turn away, you kept your eyes cast down. Jungkook wouldn’t let you go though until he was finished wiping them away. Once you were free, you shut the door behind him. Really, the whole complex didn’t need to be an audience to you being comforted by a little kid.

“Noona, why-” he started, but you cut him off.

“Don’t start Jungkook.” He always said the same thing. Why are you still with him. He hurts you so much. It was the cold hard truth but what Jungkook didn’t understand was that there was so much more to it than that. So much more. When Yoongi was there everything was amazing. It was like you were walking on clouds and could never come down. When he was there, he was truly there for you. Problem was he hadn’t been around for quite awhile.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you further into your own apartment. It was a little odd how he acted like this was his place when it most certainly was not. Half the time though you didn’t bother scolding him anymore. It was what it was. “What did you come over for?” You asked curious as to his unannounced visit. Jungkook led you over to the kitchen and made you sit down at the bar. His bright innocent smile lit of his face as he walked over to your stove and turned it on. Again, this little maknae just acting like he owned the place. “I wanted to make sure you were eating.” Resting your elbow on the counter you laid your cheek in the palm of your hand and sighed at him. He was cute but this was more than unnecessary. “I already ate. Promise.” Jungkook just nodded and continued to put a pot of water on the stove. “Right, a few sticks of carrots, right? That’s not dinner, noona.” He scolded you, while pointing a chopstick at you. Internally you cringed. Just when did this little boy know you so well.

Huffing you looked off to the side and grumbled about knowing how to take care of yourself. Jungkook went back to taking over your kitchen. “What are you even making me? You only know how to cook two things. Ramyun….oh yeah and more ramen.” The sarcasm made him laugh at you. He was pulling out all sorts of ingredients from your refrigerator, eggs, peppers, onions, ham. You were a bit perplexed on what he was up to. “I have a special gourmet meal for you tonight.” Raising an eyebrow at him, you wondered if you needed to get 119 ready on speed dial.

It was always like this, Yoongi made you sad and Jungkook came to the rescue. It wasn’t a good pattern to fall into but there wasn’t much you could do about it. The two of you chatted while he ‘cooked’ about all kinds of things. “Bon Appetite!” Jungkook carried over a bowl of his gourmet ramyun and handed you a pair of chopsticks. You stared at the partially healthy fully loaded ramen in front of you. “Dig in already.” He waved his hands at you to hurry you up. Glancing up at him, “Thank you.” then started eating. It wasn’t long before Jungkook was eating out of the same bowl. You knew he wouldn’t be able to resist and to be honest you wouldn’t have been able to finish it anyways. Pushing the bowl more towards him you let him finish the rest and went to clean up his mess.

Jungkook tried to stop you, “Ah, ah, ah Eunbyul stop! I’ll do it,” hushing his protests you finished rather quickly. Taking a seat next to him again he the last drop dry and set it back down with a satiated look on his face. It made you smile, he could be pretty cute sometimes. “I’m going to talk to Yoongi hyung.” Until he started this again. “Don’t do that Jungkook-ah.” It was frustrating to hear him say this. You didn’t want him to get in the middle or for Yoongi to get upset with him in any way. “But, noona, this can’t keep happening. I don’t want to see you cry anymore. He should be here right now, damn it!” Blinking in shock at the anger you could see resonating off of the younger male, you smacked his arm in a older sister type of way. “Don’t talk like that. He’s busy. When you left wasn’t he busy?” Jungkook’s jaw tightened and he didn’t want to answer because you both know he’d be confirming what you asked.

“It doesn’t matter though. If he’s going to be your boyfriend he needs to take care of you. A lot better care. I mean let's be honest, at this point I should just be your bo-” His hand ran through his hair and he let out a big sigh before starting his sentence over again. “Yoongi hyung should just be here.” Looking away from Jungkook you could feel your throat tightening again and the prickling feeling at your eyes. Crying again? No, you weren’t going to allow that. Especially not now. Pushing it aside, you looked back at Jungkook and smiled softly at him while ruffling his hair. “Jungkookie, I really appreciate all you’ve been doing for me and how much you care. You’re such a good friend but we’ll figure it out on our own. Promise.” You held up your pinky to pinky swear with him. There was a flash of something you couldn’t quite place in his eyes before they were masked from you. You weren’t sure if it was hurt, disappointment or something else. Either way you didn’t want him to finish whatever sentence he had stopped himself from saying moments ago. Once you went there, there was no going back.

His pinky wrapped around yours, thumbs pre