The Goddess of Wind fell quiet, remembering the incident long ago. It was merely less than a hundred years after they saved the human baby.

Jeoseungsaja found Baekhyun in the forest once when he was sending a human child off the forest. The God of Death sensed the magic of a protecting ward in the village and decided to investigate about it. He came into the forest and he saw the humanlike spirit. Screening through his destined birth and supposed death date, he thought that Baekhyun was a fresh human soul that was wandering around the forest after death. 

Responsible to his duty, the God of Death had tried to take the assumed soul away using his power. As soon as he cast the spell, the ward that protected Baekhyun broke and that immediately had attracted the attention of all the 3 goddesses and the still Imugi dragon. 

"Jeoseung, stop!" Samshin shouted from afar, noticing whose magic that belonged. It was too late. When Jeoseungsaja heard her and retracted, the translucent looking spirit had already dropped on the floor, unconscious.   

"Baekhyun, Baek!" the goddess of wind called when she wrapped him up in wind and brought him to the riverbank where Seonang, Samshin and herself were at. The Imugi stood by the side with a rock hard expression, watching as he himself was helpless about it. Jeoseungsaja arrived not long after. 

"Why are you keep a human soul in the forest! It's against the rules!" Jeoseungsaja reprimanded the godesses harshly as he watched. 

"Jeoseung, his name was long removed from the book of birth and death." Samshin said coldly, like how she has always been apathetic towards life and death, too unbothered to even explain more. 

They managed to sustain the magic on his body but he wasn't awake. His breathing was very weak. It seemed as if he was losing it even more as time passed instead of recovering. By the third day when he rested in the Imugi's lake, he had completely stopped breathing. It was then Dosumunjang appeared that had the life of the human-spirit boy turning away from death. 

"Take care of him well. There won't be a second time I come to save this spirit boy." the Emperor of Heaven said without looking back as he left. 

The goddesses did not know what to say to comfort the dragon. 

"It's fine. I will be by his side when he needs me. I'm far stronger than I was when that happened." the dragon said after awhile. The goddesses nodded and left, "summon us whenever you need to." 

Her name was a single word, Seol. She was not one of the renowned gods like they were, she was an obscure goddess who was in charge of winter. She had fallen in love with the human boy whose skin was white and fair, with the name, Baekhyun. Being in love with a human was against the rule. Being tagged with the title of seducing a goddess, he was sentenced to unfair punishments that he was not aware of. As his body died, he was not given the chance of rebirth. She kept his soul using a forbidden spell. Knowing that she would be punished heavily for using the forbidden spell, she went to the God's Forest to hand him to someone else capable enough to keep him alive.

She met Imugi by the river and she begged, "please, find someone. Find those who are strong enough to keep him alive. Feed any newborns this pearl and he will be with them. Keep him safe with you for as long as you could. I will be back as early as I can."  

The Imugi summoned Samshin who he had been friends with after all the years to discuss about it. It didn't take more than a day before Seol was taken away by Joseungsaja. And she never came back ever since. 

A few days after, as the Imugi was looking for ways to search for newborns, he heard very soft baby cry by the river, and he saw the basket. Is this a coincident? He thought, but never got an answer. He quickly fed him the pearl and got the Goddesses to sustain his weak human soul, turning him into a spirit to wait for her return. He had somehow known that the little girl who visited the forest was Seol when he first saw her. 

That was the reason why he told Baekhyun to 'follow his heart' while Yeongdeung was telling him to beware and be careful. Even after all the sacrifices and punishments they have received, they still couldn't live the life they wanted. When he was a human, she was a spirit. When he became a spirit like she once was, she had been punished to be born as a human, losing her form as a goddess. Mulyong looked up to the sky, as if he could then see Dosumunjang. He thought, "why must you do this to them?" 

He watched as she visied the forest everyday, returning with disappointment. He wanted to just take her to him but he knew it wouldn't be a smart move. 

Haeseol eagerly visited the forest again, after a year. Baekhyun was not there. With the undescribable amount of disappointment and supressed emotions, she broke down in front of the forest, crying. She wasn't sure what she had done. She wanted to know why he left. She wanted to know where he went. But no one had given her any answers she wanted. Ever since he left, none of the spirits had ever shown up to her. 

Then, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around, only to be greeted by another wave of disappointment. Even so, she was glad to see someone.

"Mulyong samchon," she greeted as she cried, hugging him when he took her in his arms. He couldn't bear to see her so broken after all. While patting her, he asked, "Baekhyun... is sick. Do you want to visit him instead?"

Maybe, maybe he will wake up if she was there to call for him. He thought. 

Mulyong brought her to his lake and set her down beside Baekhyun who was guarded in a rounded ward, peacefully sleeping. He looked even more translucent than she had first saw him. He looked as if he would disappear anytime. She watched his pale face quietly, not knowing what to do. His long eye lashes curved a little upwards, his pink lips were even paler than before. His hands were placed on his flat stomach. He was still wearing the same white robe he always wore, a cloth was tied on his wrist. 

It was the same cloth she was tied with a year ago. 

"Mulyong samchon, what happened that night?" she asked.

"He was late for the spell restructuring," he answered as he caressed Baekhyun's face gently. 

Haeseol didn't want to ask more. She knew she couldn't get close to him due to the ward. She sat by the side and she started talking to him like what she usually does whenever he was around, only that he wouldn't answer her anymore. Mulyong left, giving them the privacy and he wondered closeby the lake, in the forest, hoping for the best. 

She would come everyday without amiss. Even after she had found a job and started working. With the excuse of her desire to live in a less stressful environment and wanting to be closeby her grandmother, she convinced her parents to let her live in the outskirts. With a simple job in town that was enough for her living expenses, she settled down in the same village with the grandmother.  

There weren't any guys that were seen around Haeseol. She would always go to work in the morning, get off work by evening, have her dinner and then visit Baekhyun until late night. Sometimes, she would go home before midnight; sometimes, she would stay over in the forest and only return home before the sun rises. Weeks and months past. Her life had been the same for almost 10 years. Her heart had slowly turned cold and dead living through everyday's hope and disappointment. 

"Baekhyun-ah, you still look the same after all these years." she said, sitting down at the side, dipping her leg in the lake, like how she always did when she was still a child. 

"When will you wake up?" she mummured in despair. 

"I miss your smile." not sure whether she was talking to herself, or to him. "Your eyes," she continued as she played with the leave she saw floating towards her, "your voice." 

"I miss you." 

"Samshin halmoni, if I die one day, can I stay as a spirit and live in the jungle?" Haeseol asked Samshin years ago when she came to visit Baekhyun. 

"Seol-ah, if that's your wish, wish upon the sky, wish upon Dosumunjang." the goddess sighed. 

"If he doesn't answer to my calls, can you keep me within this realm? I promise I won't step out of this place. I just wanna be by his side." she solemnly told the goddess. The latter didn't answer. 

Haeseol smiled at the memory. Maybe, just maybe, I can still be with him even after I die. She thought. 

"Baekhyun-ah..." she called, looking at the starry sky. "Seol...." 

"Baekhyun-ah, I miss you so much I'm even hearing your voice in my head." she laughed. "Seol...?" she heard it again. She slowly turned around in disbelief. The figue that had been sleeping for a decade behind her moved a little. His eyes are opened, head tilted slightly to the side to look at the girl in front. He spread his lips into a weak but warm smile. 

She covered in hand and she muffled some sobs, tears streaming down her face. She tried pinching herself, it hurt. It's real? It's real!

She didn't exactly know how to react to it. She was so tempted to jump into his embrace and hug him tightly but she couldn't. She watched as he slowly got up, panting heavily as if that simple action wasn't as simple as it looked, hand clutching on his chest. 

"Are you okay?" Haeseol asked in a worried tone. He gave her a pale smile and shook his head, "I'm fine..." 

"How long has it been? Why are we at Mulyong samchon's lake?" he asked. 

"It's been 10 years since... then." she didn't know how to explain what happened. "It's been... that long. I'm sorry I made you wait for so long." he said apologetically. "Have you been here, everyday? I heard you talking."

"I thought it was a dream. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. I tried everyday but failed." he continued explaining with a pained look on his face. 

"It's alright, Baek. I'm happy enough that you are awake now." Haeseol said. Baekhyun walked out of the ward that guarded him and she went closer to him. She pulled the white cloth that was still attached to him and tied on her wrist. "Let's go find Mulyong samchon. He's roaming around somewhere closeby." Haeseol said with a smile. 

Baekhyun stared as the girl in front of him, noticing how much he had missed out on. He hadn't even seen her in her young 20's, and she was already close to 30. She wasn't the small little bundle of joy in her summer dress who would run to him blindly to fall on the floor anymore. She wasn't that teenager student who would dress up a little before she came to see him and be shy when she talked about confession anymore. She is now a matured young lady, working for a living. She is no longer troubled by friends and homework. She is no longer the loud girl shouting about in the forest. 

He let out a sigh, refraining himself from wanting to ruffle her hair. 

They stopped in front of Mulyong who had waited for them at the end of the road. 

"My son, you've woken up." he said, "thank you." He, then, touched Baekhyun's forehead with his fingertip, and I saw a light dived into the spot he touched. "I should return you your memory from before." He smiled, "I'm sorry for keeping it from you. I only wanted to wait for the right time. I think it's the right time to do so now." 

"You're a lot weaker than before, be careful not to strain yourself." the dragon said before he gave Baekhyun a pat on his shoulder. Baekhyun nodded at his words, "thanks, Mulyong samchon." The dragon smiled and left. 

Baekhyun sat down with Haeseol by the tree nearby as he was feeling a little dizzy. His head started to throb and he closed his eyes with a hand on his forehead. Flashbacks from his past life started playing in his head real quick, bringing him all the sweet and bitter pain from before. When he first met the Goddess of Winter, when they fell in love, when he found out that she wasn't a human, when she tried all she could to be with a human like him, when they first made love, when she told him they were expecting a child, and when he had to suffer from a ridiculous fever that had taken away his life. He dug his fingernails into the soil below him as he groaned from the agony deep within. 

"Seol..." he repeated again and again under his breath. The flashback didn't stop after his death. He continued to watch as the flashback showed how Seol sealed his soul using a forbidden spell with all she might, sending him to the now dragon Imugi. He cupped his mouth and broke down into a sobbing mess. Clueless of what he was going through, Haeseol was completely helpless. She didn't know what he saw in his flashbacks. She didn't know what else she could do other than quietly staying aside, watching him calling another girl's name. 

She tried to hide the sorrow in her, staring into the dark end. She slowly fell into a deep sleep as exhaustion consumed her after all these years. She wasn't sure whose life was it in her dream but she remembered it was from the first person's view. She saw a guy and she was in love with him. They had to hide from the world to be together. She was carrying a child and it was almost due when he died from sickness. She went into premature birth due to sadness. She used a forbidden spell to seal his soul in a white marble and she went through the unbearable pain, bringing a newborn to life. She remove a strand of its soul to merge with herself and the newborn had turned lifeless almost immediately. She quickly placed him in a basket to be flowed down the river stream as she went to a forest, giving the white marble to a man. Not long after that, she was taken away by the God of Death and punished for the use of forbidden spells. Her position as a goddess was taken away and she was sent to reincarnate as a human after a series of torture. That strand of soul in her had naturally led her to somewhere really close to him when she was born. She grew up in the village next to where he stayed. As time passed, she finally met him. 

There, she started to understand that, it wasn't someone else's life that she saw in her dream. It was her. 

When she woke up, Baekhyun was nowhere to be seen. Desperate to see her lover since her past life, she got up to search for his trace. She almost tripped over a tree branch when she wasn't looking and someone shouted her name, holding her arm, preventing her from the fall. She looked up to see the man she loved staring at his vanishing fingers. 

No. NO. We have just only found each other. 

She was just about to panic and she saw him with a smile, opening his hands inviting her to a welcoming embrace. She ran into the hug, tilting her head upwards and covered his lips with hers as she closed her eyes. A white strand of string dived into the taller figure, completing his soul, making him less translucent. However, that didn't change the fact that his body was vanishing slowly.  

"Seol, thank you. I love you." she felt the solid in her arms softened, eventually turning into nothing and she heard his voice. The next thing she knew, she was left with the white robe that was soaked in his smell of wild flowers and she dropped onto the ground. She knew that he was really gone this time and tears rolled out of her eyes as if it was never going to end as she mumbled countless 'Baekhyun, I love you too' into the white robe. An exquisite crimson butterfly flew out from within, stopping on her finger. 

I'm sorry I couldn't save you again. 

I'm sorry for being so selfish. 

I'm sorry I kept you waiting. 

I'm sorry I was the reason you had to go through such life and pain. 

I'm sorry I had let you go alone.

I'm sorry I love you. 

[ Don't be sorry for anything. If you're ever sorry about loving me, I'm sorry I love you too. ]  

Baekhyun's voice resounding in her head was the last thing Haeseol had heard from him. She watched as the crimson butterfly on her finger flew away to the sky and slowly, more and more of them tailed behind it. She had lost the trace of the one she knew was him. She maintained the same position, staring until the last butterfly disappeated from her view before she calmly looked down and folded the white robe into a neat square, carrying it along with her.

Maybe this was the real punishment that had been set for their forbidden love. Everything had led to one another. If she hadn't sealed his soul, if she hadn't stolen a strand of his soul, if she hadn't had their child, if she hadn't fallen in love with him, they wouldn't have to go through all the pain for two lives, she wouldn't have to watch him leave her twice, she wouldn't have to remember him for all her life and bear with all the pain alone. 

If only, she had let him go.

It's too late now. 

That I have already loved you.