“He had an affair with a married woman, Siwon!” Kyuhyun stated as his husband stared at him from their kitchen while he was cooking the night after their photoshoot and rehearsals.

Siwon sighed. He knew that this will be something that will tick Kyuhyun off, knowing that he had very little information about Hyukjae’s sudden fatherhood of nine teenagers. Meeting Kim Junseo’s parents had stirred a lot of misunderstanding and incomplete information that it also stirred his imagination, but not as much as his husband is right now. “And honestly, I’m willing to be that the mothers of the other eight were born out of an affair too!” he said with a disappointed scowl. “Of all things for Eunhyuk-hyung to do…”

Siwon, who was leaning on the doorframe to the kitchen simply replied, “Kyu, stop jumping to conclusions. There might be another side of the story or a different one altogether.” He told him.

In irritation, Kyuhyun slammed his oven mitten on the granite countertop with too much force. “Oh, pray tell, Choi Siwon, what kind of other story will you be able to piece together with knowing that Eunhyuk-hyung has nine boys with different women, and one or more of them might have been married when they were conceived? Considering that Shihyun is almost twenty, I’m willing to be he slept with them when he was around eighteen or nineteen until he stopped fifteen years ago!”

“Have you asked Eunhyuk about this?” Siwon countered.

Silence reigned in the kitchen as Kyuhyun thought to himself. It only took him three minutes to sigh in defeat. “No…”

“Then you cannot judge him with what little information he allowed to give out. Remember, he’s pretty good in keeping a lot of secrets, and he will be ready to tell us when he can. He assured me that much the last time I spoke to him about it.” Siwon told him.

“But…what about Donghae-hyung?” Kyuhyun asked worriedly.

Ah. So that was what he was worried about. Siwon knew that the breakup between the two was not really smooth sailing, and the strained atmosphere they had, especially when Donghae got married, was unbearable that it almost drove Ryeowook to tears at the tension. Not a few months later, they had disbanded. No one needed to voice out that the tension was one of the reasons of the disbandment that not even their parents can intervene. As his father had said, no one can intervene in the matters of the heart if the ones involved were not willing to fight for it.

“What brought him on?” Siwon wondered.

“He was with me when I spoke to Wonbin-sshi. I saw how jealous he was up close…” he told him. “I might have been acting all playful at him, but I can tell that he’s still hoping that he will get Eunhyuk-hyung back, but the reality of his mystery fatherhood is hindering things.” He said sadly.

Siwon had to go behind him and embrace him from behind, his chin resting on Kyuhyun’s shoulder and hummed. “Kyu, I know that you know that it’s not our place to interfere with their past relationship, but not everyone has the happy ending they wanted like we did.” He told him. “We can’t really change the past, and the fact that Eunhyuk is now a father with Donghae being out of the picture, but know this, if they really are meant to be together, then something will eventually get them back together.”

"I doubt that with nine guard dogs trying to search for the ‘culprit ex’ to probably maim him." Kyuhyun said with a scoff.

"The boys are not that bad. I thought you actually like them since they're very gullible with the things you say." Siwon pointed out.

"I do, but they might be the reason we can't have a show with the two of them!"

Siwon had to roll his eyes at his husband's statement. The evil side of their maknae had never really mellowed down—rather, it got worse as he got older. “Jagiya…”

Kyuhyun frowned at the endearment, knowing that his husband was exasperated at him. It never really sat well with him that the endearment is said with a thinly veiled frustration, he uses it at all the time when he is cross with him. “Alright, I’ll back off, but don’t think for one second I won’t hunt him down for answers.”

“You do that, and it will save all of us the bother to create more rumors.” Siwon said, knowing that he and his husband had reached a compromise in the situation. “Now, what say you and I finish dinner, hmm?”

“Fine.” Kyuhyun said, giving up.

On the back of Siwon’s mind, he knew that he had to speak to Hyukjae about his matter. No matter how much the other man wanted to keep the information about his sons private, there are still some situations where one must really lay out the truth to those who might be hurt unintentionally because of the secrecy, like Kyuhyun, for example. He had always been particularly close to Hyukjae since their accident, and it hurts him that he would do such a thing to someone like Donghae—his marriage three years ago not really counting as it happened later in their relationship.

After dinner, when Kyuhyun had gone to do the dishes and Siwon had to retreat to his office for some last-minute work, he decided to simply ask the man directly.

Unknown to him, the moment he got to his office, Kyuhyun took out his phone to message a certain someone.

He looked at his chat history with him that took place two hours ago.

Kyuhyun sighed as he pocketed the phone and resumed washing the dishes. Changmin owes him a very expensive bottle of wine once things get done. Now all he has to do was to wait for Siwon to tell him.

…

Hyukjae was worried for his second eldest the entire day.

Wumuti, as far as his sons’ friends and his students knew, was that Chinese idol trainee who is the mom out of all of them, always doing his best with Shihyun to keep everyone in line and to prevent them from doing any sort of mischief while the adults are not paying attention to them. One could even say that he is very private regarding his family background, but one thing was common knowledge to all of them: he once secretly dated Cai Xukun. It was a secret between trainees, kept far away from their company with the help of their conspiring managers. It was not a surprise that a secret like that was far away from the ears of authority, knowing that one corporate idiot who squeals could destroy a potential career before it was even made.

And it was also not a secret that the breakup really hit Wumuti hard, which made eighteen boys want to gun for the other idol’s head and present it to Wumuti on a silver platter.

What they didn’t know was that the breakup was only one of the reasons why Wumuti had suffered a breakdown all those months ago that Hyukjae still felt like it happened yesterday. He almost had a heart attack when he heard from his mother that he had disappeared from their house and ended up in his—which was unexpected because the boy was in Urumqi to begin with.

So when he saw Wumuti a few minutes after seeing their encounter, and Doyum’s intervention, he decided to check up on him at the training room. What he found in there were eight boys huddled around Wumuti, asking if he was okay.

When he asked them what they were up to, they simply brushed it off as nothing, which Hyukjae pretended to buy. Knowing the boys, they must have done something to at least lift up their brother’s spirit from the encounter.

Now here he was, washing the dishes from dinner while his boys were taking turns in the bathroom for their baths.

He had just finished drying the dishes when he felt his phone ring from his pocket. Getting out of the kitchen to the balcony for some privacy, he looked at the caller ID, showing Siwon’s name and image.

Wondering what Siwon needed from him, he decided to just answer. “Hello?”

“Eunhyuk, is this a good time to talk?” Siwon asked.

“Yeah, go ahead. What’s up?” Hyukjae asked.

There was silence in the other line and a sigh before Siwon continued, “If I ask you something, do you promise to tell me the truth?”

The other man raised a brow at the odd request. Apart from their pranks in their younger years, Hyukjae can’t recall a time when he was dishonest with his friends, “Well, sure. That’s fine.” 

“Tell me…are all your kids a product of your affairs with married women?” he asked straight to the point.

Had Hyukjae still been doing the dishes, he swore he might have dropped one of them on the floor in shock. “What?!”

“I’m sorry if this sounds a bit invasive but…you can’t help us not to wonder, especially when Kyu had talked with Wonbin-sshi, and his replies to his inquiries about you being Junseo’s father made him assume that…well, you get the idea.” Siwon explained with an apologetic tone.

A frustrated groan came out of the man as he leaned on the railing of the balcony, needing support at what he had just learned to be Kyuhyun’s conclusion to his fatherhood. “I knew this will happen…”

“Eunhyuk, why don’t you tell me the circumstances of their births? All we need is an assurance that you didn’t go out of your morals when you were still a hormonal young adult.” The man on the other line pleaded.

“Fine!” Hyukjae said, “But you need to listen carefully because I will not be repeating myself again.” He said.

“Alright, I’m alone. Lay it on me.” Siwon dared.

And so, Hyukjae began to confess. “The boys are not a product of affairs, Siwon. I am their donor.” From the sound of a screeching chair on the other line, Hyukjae concluded that Siwon had searched for the nearest chair to sit on upon hearing his bomb. The silence afterwards urged him to continue. “We all know that some of us are not as well-off as you were, and when my family was pressed for cash, the moment I turned eighteen, I began to donate to a hospital in our hometown when donating blood was not enough.”

From the other line, Siwon heaved a sigh, trying to take in the information that Hyukjae had laid out on him. “This is not what I expected at all…” Siwon finally spoke after a minute of silence. “And you were an open donor?”

“Yes, I was.” Hyukjae said.

“Then…how did you get in touch with all of them at once? From what I know, the kid has to be at least eighteen to even gain access to your communication records.” He recalled.

“Since the Family Code was modified three years ago regarding donors and donor-children being consolidated into a registry per hospital, they managed to get in touch with each other first. When the time came when Wumuti turned eighteen, he and Shihyun decided to get in contact with me, and asked if their seven other brothers could tag along.” He said with a fond smile, “Apparently, the boys found a way to bypass the clauses. There was nothing in the clause that they cannot allow their other siblings to tag along with them in meeting their donor, and so, in a single day, I gained nine boys.”

“Handling nine sets of parents, I’m surprised no one has spilled the beans.” Siwon added.

Hyukjae huffed at that, “I was careful with that. Before I met up with them, I had them and their parents sign an agreement that should they decide to meet me and get to know me, things must stay a secret for their sakes. I wanted to spare them from being the center of reporters whose goal is only to sell stories.” He said, “I didn’t know at that time that they were planning to be idols, and I didn’t want to spoil myself from getting to know them so I only read their basic information when I got access to the hospital donor registry. I didn’t know that a few weeks down the road, I’d be responsible for nine idol trainees for the summer.”

A small laugh graced Siwon’s lips at the knowledge. “Well, you managed to be a responsible father for three years, and it shows with how you handle them well on a daily basis.” He told him. “This is a big secret indeed.”

 “Promise me that you will only disclose this to Kyuhyun and no one else, alright?” Hyukjae pleaded.

“But what about the others? What about Donghae?”  Siwon pressed further.

That got Hyukjae like a slap, remembering their last private conversation. He looked so hurt, but is willing to look past his 'going behind his back' enough to attempt to rekindle what they had. But stubborn Hyukjae had to be too defensive of his heart too much that he reject him.  

“I’ll tell the others when they learn to ask me directly. As for Donghae…” Hyukjae bit his lip in his indecision.

Siwon sighed as he decided to speak his mind, “Look, I know it’s none of my business to meddle between the two of you, but I have seen the two of you hurt yourselves for far too long. Donghae wants to get back with you, but why are you being hesitant about it?”

“Because I’m still hurt.” Hyukjae replied fast.

“And you think he isn’t? You didn’t wonder if he was also hurt when he had to break up with you just to protect our careers from going down the drain? Or the fact that he might also be hurt the moment he found out you were a father of nine and with his limited information, he had thought that you cheated on him early in your relationship?” Siwon said, “I…I know that I’m not supposed to tell you this, but he never slept with his wife. He told me that himself. He actually cried while drunk the day before his wedding, crying for you. He might be hurt at the fact that you sought someone else to share your bed with while he stayed loyal to you even when he was married.” Siwon was aware that he was going too far with his meddling, but it hurts him and the others to see the two of them, obviously still in love with each other, hurt themselves due to misunderstandings.

“Why…why are you telling me this?” Hyukjae asked in a whisper, not really liking the turn of the conversation, and Siwon guilt-tripping him, but couldn’t find himself escaping it.

“Because I know the two of you.” Siwon answered. “And I know that you still love him. Why not give him a chance?”

“Because all he was saying is sorry!” Hyukjae burst out, silencing the man on the other line. “And you and I both know that trying to pick up where we left off will be useless. He hurt me, and that will never change. I want him to prove that he…”

“He what?” Siwon urged him to continue.

“That he wants to be with me in the long run.” Hyukjae confessed. “I…I want him to prove to me that he will no longer screw me over. That’s why I haven’t told him the truth about the boys.”

“It really won’t help things since he thinks that you have cheated on him for three to four years, Hyuk. You two have been together since you were twenty, if Shihyun was conceived when you were still eighteen and the rest followed, then that is three to four years of assumed cheating.” Siwon reasoned.

“That’s my problem which I will cross when I get there.” Hyukjae said. “For now…please, keep this from the others. You can tell Kyu. I know he’s been looking at me dirtily since the photoshoot.”

A chuckle was then heard from the other man, “Alright, but don’t take too long, okay?”

“It won’t if he moves fast.” Hyukjae declared as he ended the call with Siwon.

He sighed as he looked at the sky, trying to calm down.

Siwon’s words really did hit him hard. He was an idiot to think that he was the only one who was hurting when they broke up. It was clear as day that he married his ex-wife unwillingly four years ago, and yet, when he asked for forgiveness and to pick up where they left off, he said that he has forgiven him, but cannot have him back anymore. Why? Because all he said was sorry. There was only words, no action.

That was three years ago.

And somehow, Hyukjae found himself deciding what to do.

‘If he asks, I will.’ He thought to himself.

…

“Changmin-hyung said that he had asked Kyuhyun-sshi to help out.” Shihyun told them as they all huddled in the second bedroom after their baths. When Jongwoon, who was the last one out, was done, he saw their father talking to someone on the phone at the balcony, which gave them ample time to debrief on their scheme.

“I thought we were going to minimize the people who are in the scheme?” Doyum wondered, now confused.

Wumuti was the one who answered. “Yes, we did, but that got us thinking that maybe, we need to choose wisely instead. Changmin-hyung is friends with Kyuhyun-sshi, someone who is pretty good in keeping secrets and perfect in being our ally. Changmin-hyung can’t always be present to help us.” He reasoned. “Besides, Heechul-sshi and Jungsoo-sshi has a lot on their plate in reining in their members. It helps to have backup.”

“Whatever. At least now we have more breathing room. All that’s left is to wait for Donghae-sshi to make a move, at least, that was what Changmin-hyung said.” Junseo added.

“But asking Kyuhyun-sshi to manipulate Siwon-sshi in telling Appa to give Donghae-sshi a chance while learning the truth is good, how?” Jongwoon questioned.

Byeonghee answered, “It saves us the time for disclosing secrets without Appa’s consent, and also helps in making Appa give Donghae-sshi a chance. We all know how stubborn he can be. Even if Donghae-sshi gets the guts to try to win him back, everything is still up to Appa.”

Suren hummed, “Well, you’re right about that. I guess we’ll just have to wait for Donghae-sshi to make a move before we do.”

“Sound about right.” Seunghwan said.

“By the way, about what happened this afternoon to you, Muti…?” Siyoung mentioned, all eyes now on their second eldest brother.

Wumuti sighed and rolled his eyes, “I keep telling you, I’m fine. He didn’t manage to speak to me for more than a minute, thanks to Doyummie.” He told them.

Shihyun looked at his brother worriedly, “Muti, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked out of all of them, Shihyun is the closest to Wumuti, maybe because they were the ones who met first, through Shihyun’s efficient usage of their Sibling-Donor Registry five years back. Even though they agreed to simply address each other with their given names without some of them addressing the older ones as hyungs, Shihyun still felt a sense of protectiveness towards his eight younger brothers. If there was something Shihyun could do, he would do it for their sakes.

“I really am, honest.” Wumuti insisted, raising his hand in surrender, a sign that he was at least telling the truth about his current state of emotions.

“I’m worried about you, Muti.” Shihyun said with a frown.

Wumuti looked at him with exasperation, “I told you, I’m fine, Shihyun.” He tried to assure again. “You don’t have to worry about anything right now. He never got to utter more than five sentences to affect me.”

“Then explain to me why your eyes cloud over when we talk about him?” Shihyun pointed out as he poked the bridge of his nose, making Wumuti’s eyes cross.

“Aish, Shihyun,” Wumuti said as he swatted his hand away lightly. “Just believe me this time, please? I’m really, really fine.”

“The last time you said that was when you took the next flight to Incheon without anyone knowing until you ended up at Appa’s gate.” Doyum stated monotonously.

The second eldest of them was running out of reasons, which was really something that Wumuti would have expected for Shihyun when it comes to reasoning, who has learned from the best; his own Young-hyung. “Fine. How about this, if something about this matter is bothering me again, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Promise?” the eight asked in unison, wanting him to mean it.

“Promise.” Wumuti confirmed, and that was the end of it.

…

Inside Donghae’s flat, the said owner is currently rummaging his old boxes of stuff, searching for something that he had long buried into the storage room that he kept on his laundry room, stacked up in small boxes.

After his divorce, he had put on sale the house that he bought for show, and he took all of the things inside, excluding, of course, his ex-wife’s belongings, minus the expensive things that she had bought during their marriage. Some, Donghae put up for liquidation, but others, he had demanded the return. Now he resides in the penthouse that he and Hyukjae had bought together before everything went to hell.

“Where exactly did you put them Hyung?” Donghae asked as he turned to look at the man who was on the other side of the room, checking box labels.

“Somewhere here. You didn’t really give me any indication if I should put something at a specific box, you know.” Lee Donghwa answered.

“It’s Mom’s engagement ring, you shouldn’t have haphazardly thrown them in boxes!” Donghae whined as he rummaged the box in front of him bearing knick-knacks.

Donghwa rolled his eyes, “How should I know you put Mom’s engagement ring in that thing? You hide things where people don’t even think of hiding them.”

“And now if Mom finds out that I put it there and you lost it somewhere in the boxes, she’s going to have our asses.” Donghae concluded, knowing that their mother would not be happy once she finds out that the engagement ring her late husband had given her had been lost by her sons.  

The two men winced involuntarily. They can already hear their mother lecturing them from their heads.

“Let’s just look for it, please? I’m seeing my imminent fate of having my ear pulled…” Donghae pleaded, his hand going to his ear.

“You and me both.” Donghwa agreed as he made his way to another one of the boxes, hoping that they would find the ring tonight or risk confessing to their mother that they lost the ring.

Donghae was about to give up at the box he was rummaging when his eyes caught a familiar fabric below some of his old stuff. Digging it out from the box, he found that the fabric was covering a cube-shaped item, and from the size of the item, and his memory coming back to him, he carefully peeled the fabric to open the box. Inside was his old jewelry box that Hyukjae had given him because of his history of haphazardly placing his accessories everywhere in the dorm. When he opened it, he saw that his old accessories are also in there, including a familiar old ring box.

“I found it!” Donghae declared as he opened the box to reveal a small engagement ring, the ring that has been passed down in their family for the past five generations, that even when things were hard, their father never made an option to sell or to pawn the ring due to its familial value.

When Donghwa saw the ring glinting from his brother’s hands, he sighed in relief that they were not going to get scolded for a lost heirloom. “Oh thank God.”

Donghae hummed in agreement as he closed the box and handed it to his brother. “Here, you needed this, right?”

Donghwa took it and stared at the ring box, “Yeah. At least now I’ll feel confident she’s going to say yes.”

“Hey, come on now, she managed to stand you for years, of course she’ll say yes.” Donghae reasoned.

“I guess so.” Donghwa replied, now assured. “Next time mom gives you something expensive and important, hide it in a safe.”

“I did, but I placed it there when…”

Donghwa mentally kicked himself at his words. He knew that he was careful with things that relates to their father, and if Donghae had placed the ring in his box for easy access, then that would mean that what he was planning four years ago was…

“Sorry…” Donghwa apologized.

Donghae shook his head, “No need to say sorry. I brought it on myself…”

“And you’re not doing anything to get him back?” Donghwa wondered.

“He wanted me to stay away. What was I supposed to do?” Donghae reasoned as he flopped back on the couch, now that their search was done.

Donghwa raised his brow, “That was just after your divorce and when you exposed it in the media. How do you think he was going to feel? He needed to process things first.” He said, acting like his brother was the most clueless person in the world. “And you, of all people, judged him in having kids.”

“Nine teenagers, Hyung. The eldest is twenty. You know what that meant? He cheated on me.” Donghae stated.

“Yeah, and you acted like an on site. You don’t see Hyukjae act like that after you got married to someone else.” Donghwa shot back, making his brother flinch. “Look, the two of you obviously have done some things that are stupid and hurtful, but you managed to be together for more than a decade, and that is saying something. Now, here’s my question, do you want him back?”

“But he’s…”

“I said,” Donghwa snapped, “Do you want him back? Yes or no?”

“Yes! But he has children!”

“So what?” Donghwa raised a brow, “I’m proposing to a woman who was divorced twice with three kids, and I am okay with that. Why can’t you?”  

“He slept with women behind my back for the first four years together.” He added.

“You married a woman out of the blue and broke his heart when you two have been together for more than a decade and declared to the whole world at that time that you have loved her and has been secretly seeing her for years at a press conference.” Donghwa replied. When his brother went silent, unable to do anymore comebacks, Donghwa sighed and sat beside him and pat his shoulder. “Donghae. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s just in the matter of how you will fix it, or rebuild it. If you really want him back, then prove it to him.”

Donghae looked back at his brother with a helpless look. “Then how do I do it?”

“That’s something you need to find out for yourself.” Really, his brother could be really blank sometimes that it hurts his brotherly pride. Even after all these years, his little brother is still an amateur in love. Maybe because he has only loved one person to begin with.

Standing up, he began to pick up the mess in the living room back to their boxes, “Come on, the sooner we get this cleaned up, the sooner you can help me plan a proposal for my wife-to-be.”

“Assuming she says yes.” Donghae teased lightly.

“Yah! She will say yes!” Donghwa replied, pretending to be offended.

The brothers then proceeded to clean up the living room, placing everything back in their boxes and getting them back in Donghae’s storage closet. When everything was done, Donghwa decided to call it a night and left the penthouse.

That left Donghae thinking to himself that night, his brother’s words still ringing in his head. “If you really want him back, then prove it to him.”

Easier said than done, but Donghae was willing to take the risk.

So what if he had nine kids? So what if he had cheated on him for the first four years? He was still the man he loved to the moon and back.

After all, there had been nobody but him.

Even after everything, he still loved Lee Hyukjae.

And he was going to prove it no matter what.

And if he would have to face nine hurdles, then so be it.

Because he loves him.

TBC

I apologize for the delay. A lot has happened this past month, and I hopped from happy to pissed.

In summary, TVXQinManila was scheduled to happen on July 13, and I worked my off just to afford at least General Admission A on it, hence, my inability to write a chapter for a while. Everything was set, my budget, my lightstick order and my feels. Everything was ready for my first concert attendance, and my anticipation in making my ten-year dream a reality.

But last June 21, the organizers who care not for the fans that has been waiting for sixteen years, had announced that the concert is “indefinitely postponed” due to “technical difficulties,” a concert that they never properly advertised and didn’t care about them after the ticket sale day announcement. No further explanations, just “postponed” for how long, we will never know.

All of a sudden, the organizers and the accounts of the heads went silent, going as far as to delete all TVXQ-related posts from them, which added fuel to the fire.

Of course, us PH Cassies were emotionally unstable and went into the five stages of grief—I can say it because I lived it.

The PH Cassies and International Cassies has spent a lot of time and money for this concert, and the organizer’s complete disregard for the fandom and the twitter posts of the heads of the organization (which made my blood boil), was too stressful for me as well. But things didn’t end there, oh no. Even the refund process and their so-called “freebie” was a COMPLETE MESS.

So yeah, afterwards, there was one positive light: the PH Cassiopeia admins had decided, if a concert will not happen in July 13, a Fan Gathering will.

And now, I am in the stage of acceptance, and I will be going to the Fan Gathering called in twitter as #12GFullCircle: The 12th Gathering.

So to say, my heart has healed partially, and I am now able to write something.

Again, sorry for the delay.

See you next chapter~!