Part V
Of Smoke Rings and Cigarettes
‘You have a lot to explain.’
Danah doesn’t dare meet her younger sister’s eye, deciding to keep her gaze permanently stuck to the floor instead. Behind Lisa is the said culprit, who stands with his face strained with worry, crease between his eyebrows. Danah can see that Yoongi doesn’t want to cause any trouble, if his pursed lips and narrowed eyes are any indication. But she’s ready to tackle this, ready to take on whatever accusation Lisa has thrown her way.
And Danah wouldn’t have been so defensive of the pale blonde if she hadn’t seen sides of him he seldom showed anyone. She’s learnt a lot of things throughout this past week: about his genuine kindness when it comes to sharing stuff, about his vulnerable side whenever he talks about all his dreams and passion as they walk home. About the little things that he does: like carrying her bag and sometimes doing her laundry in her place when she’s practically passed out in bed.
And that’s precisely how Lisa found out about him. She’d woken up in the middle of the night at the sound of the laundry machine and, curious about why her sister’s up at this godforsaken hour, had trudged down only to discover a milky-skinned, steely blonde stranger in her place.
Her scream had been enough to wake up the hole neighbourhood. Danah had raced down to see Lisa holding up a bottle of laundry wash and Yoongi cowered in a corner.
‘So?’ Lisa’s voice rings with anger, except that Danah can hear the slight undertone of panic, ‘tell me why this—this manslaughterer— blood killer is in our house, touching our laundry, making as if he’s right at home!’
‘I can explain.’ Except dryness is scratching Danah’s throat. Guilty swamps her stomach, ‘he’s not what you think he is.’
‘Really?’ Lisa scoffs, ‘because it wasn’t him that slit that guy’s throat with his own bare hands, now was it?’
That makes both individuals wince. Lisa has hit a sensitive point, one that hits a little too close to home for their liking.
‘Lisa–’
‘No!’ Lisa cuts right through her sister’s excuses, eyes narrowed and lips pressed in a firm, tense line. It’s clear from her expression that there is no room for argument, that she’s already made up her mind about the said blonde man.
But Danah is not having it. She knows it sounds crazy, some part of herself is even laughing at how stupid it all sounds. She’s protecting a killer, someone who has so many sins to pay for. But here she is, fighting her own sister because of him.
And Yoongi seems to feel the tension in the air as well. It’s so thick that it can practically be cut with a knife like a slice of cake. Except this cake has gone stale and is filled with mould.
Gently, he reaches out to grab the back of Danah’s elbow, ‘It’s okay.’
‘Don’t you dare touch her with your filthy hands!’ Lisa bellows, grabbing onto a nearby broom leaning against the wall before ing it towards him threateningly, ‘Back off!’
Danah quickly spreads her arms out, as if asking for peace, ‘Lisa. Please.’
‘I don’t get it,’ The younger sibling’s voice shakes with part fear and part desperation. Her grip on the broom tightens until her knuckles turn white, ‘Why? Why are you defending him?’
‘Please just trust me,’ Danah’s gaze locks onto Lisa’s, probing with a desperate attempt to make her sister understand where she’s coming from. Her brown orbs are practically begging, pleading, ‘You know me, alright? Isn’t that enough?’
‘Did you hear yourself talk?’ Lisa gawks, ‘He killed someone right in front of you. Are you insane?! How– What– How can you even look at him in the eye?!’
‘ He didn’t have a choice that night. It’s not what he prefers either.’
‘Oh and he told you that didn’t he?’ Lisa lets out a scoff, rolling her eyes, ‘Telling you all these lies just to make you believe he’s actually a good person.’
‘He doesn’t have a choice.’ Danah states firmly, tone ringing with a finality, with the authority of the eldest sibling, ‘And he quit. What does that tell you?’
A few more arguments are thrown back and forth, each poignantly hitting Danah’s skin like needles sharp enough to make her bleed. She barely manages to sit Lisa down at the kitchen table before explaining the whole story while trying to be as objective as possible. Of course, the latter doesn’t want to hear a word of it, and though Danah rescues Yoongi’s reputation by telling her all of the things he’s done, Lisa still shakes her head.
‘You’re insane.’ The younger sibling glances from her sister’s face to Yoongi’s, who has kept his own eyes glued to the table all this time.
Danah opens , only to realize that she has nothing to say, has nothing that she can defend against Lisa’s accusation, and closes it reluctantly. Biting the inside of her cheek and sparing a glance at Yoongi’s figure, she realizes that he’s more petrified than anyone else in this room.
‘It’s alright.’ Yoongi suddenly blurts out, shocking both sisters, ‘I’ll leave.’
‘You better, before I report you.’ Lisa scowls at him.
‘No, Yoongi—‘ Danah lunges for Yoongi’s hand but he retracts it just in time to avoid her touch, shaking his head while pressing his lips in a tense line, ‘It’s fine.’
‘It’s not fine,’ she says, getting up from her chair, ‘where— how are you—‘
‘Danah,’ Yoongi interrupts her gently, somehow like a calm ocean amidst a storm roaring right through her ears, ‘It’s alright, really. I’ll find something.’
It takes all of her physical restraint not to burst out of her seat and chase him down. Instead, she watches his back, slightly slumped as he walks through the doorway, a lonely figure blending so nicely in the middle of the night, a silhouette only illuminated by the street lamps. It’s not until the door closes shut that something finally snaps her to her senses. She shoots up from her chair, glowering at Lisa’s form and somehow hating how serene and relieved she looks with the dim light of the kitchen dancing across her face.
‘What got into you?’ is the first thing that erupts from Lisa’s mouth. In barely restrained anger, the younger woman leans forward with a face as stoic as a blank mask, a face that seems to be void of Lisa’s usual cheerful, carefree expression, ‘He could’ve killed one of us. Any of us. And what? You were letting him live under our roof, in your bedroom? What– Are you sleeping with him too?’
‘Shut up,’ Danah shoots back fiercely, hating how she sounds right. She knows it hadn’t been one of the greatest ideas to let Yoongi stay with them, it’s true that she might’ve put her family member’s lives on the line. And all that regret is now boiling through her, the remorse acting as a thick coat along the back of her tongue. What frustrates Danah the most is that deep down, she knows that Lisa is right.
‘I don’t want t
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