As You Are
Beauty Behind The Madness'It's just me and you. They couldn't see what I see in you. Cause I believe in you. You're the only one I choose.'
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For the next few weeks, Daehyun didn’t travel to the north, nor did he contact Youngjae. Nor did Youngjae contact him, which was expected. Daehyun felt that he needed to clear his mind. Going back to the north would only confuse him even more.
He spent his time going back to the old things he used to do before he met the omega. He focused on his work, going back to his regular hours. He helped out around the pack, performing his duties as part of the had pack family. He went back to hanging out and getting in trouble with his friends, especially with Minhyuk. And he went back on a couple of dates with Haeryung. But it wasn’t the same.
It was refreshing being around his friends and pack again, but it wasn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. It felt as if something was missing. At the end of each day he felt his wolf longing for the omega. He tried to ignore it, but it happened every night. And hi wolf made it a point to not allow him any sleep.
But he felt it the most when he was with Haeryung.
He enjoyed her company as always and had fun with her. He still loved her. He still loved her as much as he did before. In fact, his feelings never changed for her. But he realized his feelings weren’t as strong for her as he thought thy were. He’s felt a stronger emotion, a stronger wanting, somewhere else, for someone else.
He found his mind drifting off, thinking about Youngjae. He wondered how he was doing. If he was okay. If he was happy. Whenever he went out, he caught himself imagining taking Youngjae with him, imagining how the younger would respond to the things he did. The things he’d say.
The longer he went without seeing or hearing from him, the harder it became to go without thinking about him.
“I can’t stop thinking about him.” Daehyun sighed. He was laid on top of a hill with Himchan. The hill was right above where Jongup trained the pups. Bambam and Yugyeom were helping him train the young kids to fight. Himchan laid on the grass, peaking over the hilltop to watch his mate. He looked over his shoulder back at his cousin. “You mean that omega?” He asked. He was the only one who knew the details about his cousin and his northern friend.
Daehyun nodded. “He won’t leave my mind. I keep thinking about him in everything I do. I even worry about him. He goes out alone by himself a lot. He’s an omega, so it’s dangerous for him. And he’s not just any omega. He has the sweetest scent. It’s so intoxicating and addicting. He’s so delicate, when you look at him. It makes you just want to hold him and make him smile and laugh. Who knows what kind of alpha will go after him when he’s out alone?” Daehyun frowned at the thought.
Himchan just looked at him. “You’re an idiot if you haven’t figured it out by now.” He turned back to watch his mate.
Daehyun sat up, “It’s not that easy. I already have someone who I’m supposed to mate.” He defended. “Then if you already have a mate in mind, then stop seeing him. Point blank.” Himchan simply said.
Daehyun was stunned by his words.
“It’s clear that you shouldn’t be seeing him while you have a girlfriend, since he’s making you doubt yourself. You shouldn’t even be seeing him if you have to sneak off to see him.” He added.
“I can’t…I can’t just not see him. He needs my help.” Daehyun said. He let out a frustrated sigh, “But I guess it doesn’t even matter. I can’t even see him because he said I can’t, unless I come honestly to him.”
Himchan looked back at him again and sat up, “Like I said, you’re an idiot. Look, you won’t stop seeing him because of your girlfriend, but you will because he said so.” He said.
“That’s…” Daehyun paused, thinking about it. The elder was right. He felt an overwhelming amount of guilt return to him. “Maybe I should break up with Haeryung. So, I don’t have to put her through this.” He finally sighed.
Himchan cocked an eyebrow, “So you’re just going to break up with her? Just to see him? Why not just stop seeing him?” He questioned, in order to get the younger to think properly.
“I can’t just stop seeing him. There are still things I want to do with him. I can’t just…leave things how they are now.” Daehyun tried to explain.
Himchan looked at him unimpressed. “Dae, you really are an idiot.” He finally said, “But it sounds like you’ve already made your decision.”
“I just hope it’s the right decision.” Daehyun said, not completely confident about his choice. “How did you know that being with Jongup was the right decision, despite the fact that your parents were against it?”
Himchan was taken by surprise by the question but answered anyway. “I didn’t.”
“It was a risk. I was scared of what my mothers would do if I mated with him. They’re unpredictable and unforgiving. My biggest fear was that they’d do something to hurt him. Of course, there were other risks like them disowning me. But that was honestly a minor problem. I wanted to be with him no matter what. No matter the risk, whatever the consequences were, I’d be able to face them because he’s here with me. I’d be able to do anything. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. It’s hard now, but I don’t regret anything. I’d do it again if I had to go back.” Himchan smiled as he spoke.
Daehyun watched him closely. “You smile every time you talk about him, even if it’s over something difficult or sad.” He noted. Himchan shrugged. “that’s how much I love him.” He turned aback around to watch his mate.
Daehyun couldn’t help but smile at his cousin. He hoped that everything worked out for him and Jongup. They deserve it.
Daehyun looked back up at the sky.
‘Your intentions have changed, and you keep making excuses for it.’
Youngjae’s words replayed in his mind. Daehyun groaned involuntarily. He could still feel youngjae’s touch on his lips as if he were still there. Right in front of him.
He closed his eyes, trying to imagine what his life would be like without the omega.
He enjoyed returning to his old routines. It was rejuvenating, but it wasn’t the same. Every day he felt a piece of him missing. As if the piece had been lost. There wasn’t a single day he went without thinking about the omega. Was he expected to just forget about him? And even if he didn’t have feelings for him, he couldn’t just leave him knowing what he was going through.
‘Come to me in all honesty.’
Daehyun opened his eyes. He wasn’t going to leave him. He couldn’t. He needed to help him. Afterall he’d lose their game if he left. “If that’s what you want. Then so be it.” He stood up.
“What?” Himchan glanced back over his shoulder, but the alpha was already walking back down the hill.
Now time for the hardest part. Daehyun thought to himself. He spotted Haeryung in the middle of the village, helping the other betas with their chores. They were preparing for their afternoon and nightly patrol. He was hesitant but walked up to the beta anyway. “Hey, Haeryung, can I talk to you for a moment?” He asked almost immediately.
“Yeah sure.” The beta smiled. “I’ll be right back guys.” She said to the others before walking off with her boyfriend. Daehyun held her hand and led her away.
Haeryung felt herself blush when she saw that he was leading her to his cabin.
“What are we doing? I have to patrol soon.” She tried to play nonchalant as they entered the cabin. “I know. I’m sorry. This is important.” Daehyun said. Haeryung’s heart fluttered at his words. “Okay.” She continued her nonchalant act. However, she was confused when the alpha sat her down on the chair in the common area of the cabin. Daehyun sat in the cushioned seat next to her.
“What is it?” she looked at him expectantly.
Daehyun bit his lip. His confidence completely vanished as soon as he made eye contact with her. He had no idea what he was going to say. Guilt plagued his mind as he reflected over the past few months. “Haeryung.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve been the worst boyfriend.
Haeryung raised an eyebrow, not expecting an apology. “What are you saying? You’ve been a great boyfriend.” She could see how hard he was beating himself up.
Daehyun shook his head, “No. you don’t know. And
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